Friday 12 February 2016

OK LET'S GO

We've had a great week up north and tomorrow I'm driving the Old Girl down to Auckland because she starts work again on Monday. I'll stay the weekend and then head on back up here where I can work from home. I can also work from home in the Auckland apartment but prefer it up here.

Today we went into town to do some shopping.
Whangarei doesn't have a lot of traffic lights but what's there are doozies - those that have 4 or 5 sequences. These can cause a lot of people to get frustrated and you can see drivers seething and spouting steam while waiting.

I've gotten over that as, thanks to Murphy's Law I know the secret to making traffic lights change to green much faster:

1. Pull out a road map or any booklet where you need to find information of where to go to.
Open it and try to find a destination. Before you can establish that the lights will change. Guaranteed!






2. If it's warm decide to remove your coat or pullover. This means that you put the car in neutral, disengage the seat belt and then start to remove the garment. Half-way through the procedure - especially if it is a pullover and you are unsighted - the lights will change to green.





3. Change a CD in your player or decide to change the radio station. In the middle of making your choice the lights will change. This never fails, or,

4. Take out your cell phone and check whether you have e-mails or what that text message beep was about. The lights will stay red right up until you get your password in and then just as the message flashes up they will go to green.

4. This is my personal favourite. Take the hot mince and cheese pie that you just bought out of the packet and bite into it. The scalding hot filling will dribble down your chin and neck just as the lights go to green. Foolproof!

4 comments:

Tracey said...

All good ideas, though #4 is illegal and you may have forgotten, having been out of the country so long, that all New Zealanders are required by law to always blow on the pie.

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Ha ha.
Yes I'd forgotten that.
Classic!

Richard (of RBB) said...

Were you readding a map in York when you were on your bike and pissed that motorist off?

Robert and the Catholics said...

So many distracting things to do; but you can not hold a phone to your ear!