Sunday 20 August 2017

A FIND



Reuben and Johnny got on the bus all set for a good night out on the town. They were in high spirits and shoved and jostled each other in an unconscious way of releasing their pent up energy. This was going to be good.
The only trouble was that they had very little money and, being seventeen didn't have much hope of buying any alcohol even if they had money.
Bummer!

The boys sat at the back of the bus as usual and giggled and poked one another in the ribs as an elderly couple got on and sat up front in the 'geriatric' seats.
"Jeez" said Johnny "I hope I never get that old"
"Yeah" said Reuben "Waste of good oxygen eh!"



The ride was uneventful and the old geezers got off after a while. Reuben and Johnny stayed on for another stop and then boisterously ran up the aisle to see who could exit first- Reuben by the back door and Johnny by the front door. As Johnny was about to scan his bus pass he noticed a paper bag on the seat that the old geezers had been sitting on. "Eeew!" he thought "What's that? A colostomy bag? Old people's undies? What?" He then noticed the shape of the bag. It was a bottle. He quickly scooped it up and exited, running over to Reuben.
"Mate, mate" he said excitedly. "Look what I found. It's gotta be booze. Maybe rum or some Woody. Yay".

The boys skulked along to the nearest alleyway to check on the find, excited at the prospect of some rum or bourbon that they could mix with coke and get trashed on.

"Aww fuck" said Reuben when Johnny unwrapped the package and discovered a bottle of white wine.
"Old people's piss" he said disgustedly and threw the bottle into a rubbish bin.

The boys sauntered off dejectedly, the high spirits of a few minutes ago being replaced by the low spirits of disappointment.

"Let's go home mate" said Johnny to which Reuben agreed. It was to be an early night for the boys.

______________________________________________________________________________

In the rubbish bin, already being covered in chewing gum, burger wrappers, an old tennis shoe and some other unidentifiable grunge, Richard's special bottle of Chardonnay that Shelley had bought for his birthday lay unopened and unloved. Richard and Shelley, on reaching the BYO restaurant and discovering the loss had to settle for the best they could find in Mr Patel's grocery shop a couple of shops down. Chardon.

"Oh well" said Richard "At least it takes me back. I've had many a good time on Chardon" He gave Shelley what he thought was a lascivious wink.

"Have you got something in your eye my darling " said Shelley as she licked the end of a handkerchief to wipe it.

2 comments:

Robert and the Catholics said...

Chuckles. I visited Rich and Shel this morning and heard the story. I too wondered if a couple of school kids found it.

Richard (of RBB) said...

Chardon! In Nuova Lazio the local kids call it Hardon. At least I think I might be right. Well, maybe not.