THE CURMUDGEON

STILL GOOD

2012-02-14T19:04:00.000+13:00

and such great lyrics

VALENTINES DAY - AGAIN

2012-02-14T17:56:00.001+13:00

I note that nearly 60% of those polled by Yahoo think that Valentines Day is a load of cobblers.
I've never really cared about it but have bought the odd card or flowers.
Years ago when I was flatting in Brooklyn someone put an anonomous Valentines card in the letterbox. The card and envelope were done out in cut out letters the way a stalker would do it (I presume).

Thinking it was from my girl-friend I proudly put it on the mantelpiece. When she turned up and saw it she was much displeased and demanded to nkow who sent it. I was totally innocent and said so but I don't think she believed me.

Anyway, Valentines Day today is moot as The Old Girl is not talking to me. I don't know why. Honest.

... LEAVE THOSE KIDS ALONE ....

2012-02-13T18:38:00.000+13:00

I thought that I heard a snippet on National Radio this morning about the high number of teachers who have been suspended for drunkenness, violence and inappropriate sexual behavior in front of or with their students. Tonight when searching for this story on the web I couldn't find it and wonder if I imagined it - my head being full of the stories of NLHS.
In my internet trawl however I found a few examples of sacked teachers.
The first seems to be an overreaction from a nanny state (of the USA)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1354515/Teacher-sacked-posting-picture-holding-glass-wine-mug-beer-Facebook.html

The second seems reasonable as who wants to look at this joker in his birthday suit.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1025942/Middle-aged-male-teacher-sacked-bizarre-striptease-stunned-class.html

In new Zealand however Rachel Whitmore was sacked for posing in her underwear and birthday suit. Now she is easy on the eye and was not even at school (although apparently she was draped across a desk).

I wish my teachers had looked like her.

"SO YOU CAN'T HACK IT THEN?" ....

2012-02-07T21:00:00.001+13:00

.... said The Old Girl, I thought unfairly when I laid out my masterplan of reducing my working days from five to three days per week.
I carefully set out the pros and cons ( puttig a lot of emphasis on the pros) to show how reducing my working hours would:

Enable me to keep an eye on our family home up North therby reducing risks from burglars and the elements
Put me in a lower tax bracket meaning the take-home pay will be not that much different
Mean that we won't need the two-bedroom townhouse we are renting and can make do with our one-bedroom apartment.
Won't need to pay for a cleaner at the two-bedroom townhouse.
Won't need to pay so much for the little girl up the road who feeds the cat each day up North.

And here was what I thought was the clincher but was when she deivered her aforementioned line:

Won't ned to pay the weekly housekeeper up North because I can do all the vaccuuming, dusting and cleaning ..........................................................................................................................

She narrowed her eyes (devastaing that is) and I could see that she was not convinced about my altruistic intentions.

To be fair though she is right.
I have established that the combination of lower weekly outgoings and lower tax bracket will only mean that we have $26 less per week coming in but I must admit that a big contributor has been the feeling that I don't want to work 5 days a week.

For those thinking that I am being unfair to my employer let me say that by reducing my hours by 40% will enable the company to employ an additional person 5 days a week with no extra outlay. This will be beneficial to them and take a lot of administrative load off me enabling me to concentrate on the major issues which I am good at.

My Old Girl. with whom I have spent the most delightfullast 24 years said ... "OK".

So here we go to our next adventure.

24th ANNIVERSARY

2012-02-04T12:47:00.001+13:00

Yesterday was the date denoting that The Old Girl and I have been together for 24 years. To celebrate this, when we arrived in Whangarei last night instead of heading for the Fish and Chip shop we went to the best restaurant in the area. We had a great meal with Champagne and Martinborogh Pinot Noir - two of our favourite wine styles.
I was thinking this morning how well we get on. We have different interests but share enough to make for a loving and harmonious relationship.
Last night we both selected the same dish a beautifully prepared and presented dish of fresh Terakahi pan fried and served on a salmon potato rosti with a buerre blanc done with chardonnay. Delicious. Often though we disagree on foods. I have set opinions on when food should be eaten and how it should be done. I have to admit though that she is a better cook than I.

Here are some of the things we differ on:

Avocado. Tolerable in guacamole and dips but please don't put this squishy slimy thing in salads or in my sandwiches.

Butter. OK in cooking cakes and souffles, greasing baking dishes or re-enacting favourite scenes from Last tango in Paris but not to be spread on toast. That's margarine's job.

Carrot. Must be cooked and an essential ingredient in mince.

Dunking. A hard biscuit has to be dunked in coffee or tea. So what if at least half the time it falls in and becomes a sludge at the bottom of the cup.

Eggs A poached egg or indeed any kind of cooked egg is a breakfast meal. It is not for dinner or any time of day after noon.

Fried bread. This is not an unnecessary indulgence. Some of the finest chefs in motorway cafes have spent a lifetime (albeit a short one) perfecting this.

Gluten free pasta. Or gluten free anything. Why not just chew some sawdust it would be tastier.

Haggis. Sometimes your Scottish heritage has charm. Not when this monstrosity is introduced.

Ice cream. That ice-cream you find in the fridge (flavoured ones, not vanilla) I bought for you. Honest.

Jam. Jam can be used on toast, in sandwiches, as a pie filler and to disguise the taste of medicine. It has fruit in it so must be healthy.

Kidneys. With or without steak this stuff should never be released (see 'O')

Lentils. They sound disgusting. You like to cook things with them I always say "Yuck" but I end up eating them and liking them.

Marmalade. Marmalade is for toast only. Only seriously weird people would consider using it in a sandwich.

Noodles. You have to be off yours to think I'd like these better than mashed potato or pasta.

Offal. Should stay in the offal-pit down on the farm. Enough said.

Porridge. Instant is fine. Creamed oats also provided that sugar and cream is added is fine. Using coarse rolled oats and adding salt (no sugar) is just plain ascetic.

Quiche. Admittedly you make a bloody nice one but don't tell anyone that I eat it.

Rice pudding. You love this sludge. Did you go to a boarding school? Give me a real pudding any day.

Sugar. Raw sugar only may be used on Weetbix. Brown sugar on the other hand is the only type for porridge. White sugar may be used in baking.

Tuna. In a toasted sandwich with banana. Delicious and stop looking at me that way.

Uncooked fish or meat. If God intended us to eat raw food She wouldn't have given us fire. No, I won't go to a Sushi restaurant with you.

Vanilla. Vanilla Ice-cream is not a flavour.

White Pudding. Or its cousin Black Pudding. What cannibal thought this mess up to be edible?

Xmas cake. Look, I know that yours is a healthier alternative but Christmas cake without the almond icing is just another fruit cake. OK?

Yams. Kumara is tolerable but those tasteless watery yams are an insult to my taste buds. Give me a good old potato any day.

Zabiglione. Hey, its Italian. It must be good for me.

BUT THEN AGAIN

2012-01-30T17:23:00.000+13:00

LIFE CAN BE GOOD

2012-01-30T17:20:00.001+13:00

Because it is really nice.

AND ABOUT TIME TOO

2012-01-30T17:12:00.000+13:00

Auckland and Northland finally got a taste of Summer today, fittingly on the holiday Monday of Auckland Anniversary Day. After a couple of months of unseasonally poor weather today was a cracker. Blue skies, low or no wind and hot sun. We took advantage of a nice still harbour and kayaked this morning and swam and frollicked in the water in the afternoon. Magic.

PROWSY BOYS VIDEO?

2012-01-29T14:02:00.001+13:00

The Prowsy Boys have formed a band and will soon be recording. I'm looking out for some video ideas for them. This stunning performance by the Underdogs might just be the thing for the old guys - not too strenuous.

ACASTA GNEISSES

2012-01-29T13:48:00.002+13:00

I was working at the Auckland Seafood festival yesterday and Fourmyula were the feature act. Back together again for the first time since 1975 they ~~belted~~ bleated out some of their old numbers

Like that old guy Richard OF RBB which is a sort of acronym (not an anachronism? - ed.) of Richard Old Fucker's Rambling Bass Bullshit, these were ROF's - Real Old Fuckers.
Honestly they looked older than me and I have to admit, that's saying something.

Fourmyula back on -stage after 37 years

WARRANT TIME

2012-01-27T20:45:00.004+13:00

I got a new W.O.F. for the Rover today. Its a bloody good car, an oldie but a goodie. It goes like the clappers. See:

http://nzwineguy.blogspot.com/2008/05/dream-car-dream-wine.html

I look after it and really enjoy driving it. I've fixed the brakes. The tyres are legal and safe; It runs well but .... on the first test at VTNZ it failed. Why? One of the lights illuminating the number plate was out! One of them. It has two. This is a high spec'd car but two bloody lights illuminating the number plate? And, failing a W.O.F. bexause one of them was out. One! I thought that the previous testers were tough see:

http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2011/01/overprotection.html

I went to a local service station and luckily, amongst the bread, milk, videos and kiddies soft toys I found the right bulb to fit. I made the change in about 5 minues and went back to VTNZ and got the warrant.
What a bloody palaver. Where I live up North there are cars driving about with bald tyres, no doors, no suspension and all manner of liabilities including the unlicensed drivers. The world has gone mad.

STUPID SMELLY ONE-EYED GOD-BOTHERING SHONKEY SUPPORTERS

2012-01-25T19:09:00.000+13:00

People who embark in an extra-marital affair are more likely to support the National party and be a Christian.
And the chances are pretty good they'll come from Christchurch, smoke and have a tattoo.
Infamous infidelity site AshleyMadison.com has profiled 54,000 of its members across New Zealand to identify cheating hotspots.
Christchurch came out on top with the most cheaters-by-capita in the country.
It found 1.26 percent of the population in Christchurch are cheaters, followed by 1.23 percent in Auckland and Hamilton.
The site found that nearly 60 percent of cheaters are Christian and a third support the National Party.
Cheaters are also three-times more likely than the national average to have a tattoo, or twice as likely to smoke.

"I NEED NEW UNDERPANTS" .........

2012-01-24T22:56:00.000+13:00

......... I said to the Old Girl the other day when I was dressing.. She looked at me through narrowed eyes and said " you know that men buying new underwear is one the top five indicators of a spouse having an affair" .

Some of the signs of cheating..

1) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)

2) Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.

3) He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

4) The cheating husband carries condoms, and you are on the pill.

5) He buys himself new underwear

She looked at me again, me standing in my ragged daks and with the obvious Christmas/New Year excesses hanging over the Jockey waistband, and, widening her eyes said, "nevermind".

I looked at her a bit suspiciously and was about to ask that useless (male) question - "what?" but thought better of it.
Sucking in my tummy and marching erect (back that is) I went to the bathroom and looked at myself in the daks. Frankly it wasn't a good look. I thought about the last pairs of new underwear I'd bought. It was at Farmers and they were on sale. Having an aversion to shopping anyway and an even greater aversion to hanging around in the underwear/lingerie sections of department stores (unlike Richard (of RB) see :

http://richardsbassbag.blogspot.com/2012/01/not-sky-but-mind-you-ought-to-change.html

I quickly purchased the first things I saw with 'Jockey' written on them. After a crotch crippling experience wearing one of the purple coloured almost g-string monstrosities that only 28 inch-waisted gigolos could fit into, I left the rest of the rainbow unopened in the bottom drawer.

I then thought of the daks that the Old Girl had recently bought for me. They were Jockeys. They fitted well (and , if I do say so myself, albeit in a dim light, they looked pretty damn good on me but...... they are white. Four pairs. White! Why on earth do women buy men white underwear?
Maybe its because they want something to show incriminating stains.

Anyway, this weekend I'm going to a (man friendly) store and taking time to buy some comfortable undergarments.

scam ministers and fake tv preachers

2012-01-22T15:16:00.000+13:00

Godstuff (A hilarious look at Religious TV)

2012-01-22T15:12:00.000+13:00

BATH-TIME

2012-01-21T13:40:00.000+13:00

Up North again his weekend. The weather has finally come right. It is a nice sunny day with no wind and rain for a change. I was up early, did the washing, baked bread and did some other chores. As I had time to kill before going to the bus station to pick up the Old Girl who is bussing up today, I decided to have a bath while reading my book (Eric Sykes' autobiography) and listening to National Radio. Bliss. After a very busy week working in Auckland it is nice to just veg out when up here. This afternoon, after mowing the lawn I will go for a swim.

RICHARD (of RBB) SHOPPING IN LOWER HUTT

2012-01-14T14:43:00.002+13:00

Security video footage shows Richard (of RBB) trying to make a rapid exit from the women's lingerie store that he was discovered lurking in. The Ginger Bastard has made a music video of it.

KIND OF BLUE? WELL NO, BROWN

2012-01-11T19:59:00.002+13:00

I am listening to an audio book at the moment as I drive to and fro from Whangarei to Auckland. It is Joanne Harris' Blue Eyed Boy. It is a story about a muderer but has a central theme of synethesia. The language on the audio book is so wonderful that I think I will buy the written book and, if the promotional trailer below highlighting the book gets extended into a film will watch that too.

http://www.joanne-harris.co.uk/v3site/books/blueeyedboy/index.html

The 'book' has evocative descriptions of music as interpreted by a synethestic in smells, colours and sensations.
I couldn't help thinking how a double bass solo would be interpreted:

http://nz.bing.com/images/search?q=chimney+pollluting&view=detail&id=4E6F4E962768DC0A5FE408A681CA75766D1ED1D7&first=61&FORM=IDFRIR

FIFI TRIXIBELLE

2012-01-07T16:39:00.003+13:00

Richard, in his latest post discussed parents giving children stupid, rude, non-sensical or misspelled names. Well, it makes a change to him droning on about double basses I suppose:

See here

I agree with him on this and, while these parents might think that the standard names are boring (usually because they themselves don't have a lot of imagination), they fail to think what it is going to be like for the kid to go through the life, school and work situation having a name that other people cannot pronounce, spell or understand.

I get pissed off (yes, even I do) at the twee, corny or plain stupid way some peoples names are spelled. The use of 'y' instead of 'i' or the addition or subtraction of letters is annoying. We have friends who named their son Camron. He will forever have to explain the spelling to schoolteachers, employers, IRD etc and it will drive him nuts. I was sent a business e-mail by someone named Shayeela recently. In the address detail at the bottom of the memo she had printed "Shayeela - pronounced Shay - ee- la" Well what a frigging waste of time that is why doesn't she just change her name to Sheila and be done with.

NOISES OFF

2012-01-06T20:44:00.001+13:00

Ring ring: Hello, Noise Control, Officer Coventry speaking

Miss O’Phonic: Hello officer…ha, ha, ha, ha ….excuse me laughing but when I say that I immediately think of the expression ‘Hello Sailor” and it conjures up memories of when I was…

Officer Coventry: Excuse me Madam but can you please tell me what you want.

Miss O’Phonic : ..ha, ha,…er…ahem..ha.ha,…sorry, yes I wish to complain about one of my neighbors.

Officer Coventry: Is this a noise complaint madam?

Miss O’Phonic: Yes and no. I mean yes there is a problem when this neighbor makes his noise but sometimes it is even worse when he doesn’t make his noise.

Officer Coventry: I’m not following you madam.

Miss O’Phonic: Ha, ha, ha..oh dearie me, ha, ha, ha, that reminds me of ….no….ahem…you know that old expression ‘waiting for the other shoe to drop”…ha,ha,ha,ha, ….makes me think again of sailors in the upstairs bedroom…ha, ha, sorry….

Officer Coventry: You mean the expectation of the noise happening is worse than the noise?

Miss O’Phonic: Yes, that’s it . The noise is bad enough but when he goes quiet I lie awake … ha, ha, … er, lie awake worrying about what is going to come next.

Officer Coventry: What is the noise Madam?

Miss O’Phonic: It is hard to describe. It starts out as a scratching sound then develops into a kind of droning and then thee are some thumps. I’m telling you it is very creepy. I’ve never heard such sounds before and quite frankly I don’t want to hear them again.

Officer Coventry: When does this neighbor make these sounds?

Miss O’Phonic: During the day it varies. Sometimes in the morning at about 6AM and then after 4PM in the afternoon.

Officer Coventry: Are you sure its not an animal. A cat or something?

Miss O’Phonic: No, no, I did think that initially but he dumps his poor kitty cat outside when he is making the noises. I was thinking of ringing the SPCA.

Officer Coventry: Sounds like the cat is lucky

Miss O’Phonic: Ha, ha, ha, … don’t set me off officer….whoooo, ha, ha,

Officer Coventry: Madam. Madam, Madam! How long has your neighbour been making these horrible and obviously disturbing noises?

Miss O’Phonic: Oh for years. I moved here 5 years ago and he was doing it then

Officer Coventry: But it has taken you 5 years to complain.

Miss O’Phonic: Well, I did think that he would stop and as I said he does go quiet at times so I have never really known if he has finished playing with himself ….whoooo, ha, ha, ha, there I go again…ahem, but I have been noticing a pattern.

Officer Coventry: A pattern?

Miss O’Phonic: No, a pattern

Officer Coventry: ?

Miss O’Phonic: At the beginning of the year, usually on New Years Day the noises are very bad.

Officer Coventry: Very bad?

Miss O’Phonic: Yes Very bad and also very long. He goes on for a couple of hours at least and this continues day after day. After a month he tapers off a bit which is a relief and by mid year the noises become drastically reduced with on some days nothing at all emanating from his house.

Officer Coventry: His house then, does he live alone?

Miss O’Phonic: No, he somehow has managed to get a woman to live with him. She is lovely and very quiet. I worry that she might have gone deaf from his noises. He also has some younger people coming to stay from time to time. They last a few days before being driven out by the noise I suppose.

Officer Coventry: OK,. When he goes quiet in the mid year for how long..?

Miss O’Phonic: Until about November

Officer Coventry: OK he goes quiet for a few moths what happens then?

Miss O’Phonic: He drinks

Officer Coventry: He drinks?

Miss O’Phonic: He drinks. I have counted up to eight empty wine bottles in his recycle bin on collection days.

Officer Coventry: 8 bottles? He must be rich

Miss O’Phonic: Well his name is Richard but the quality of the wine he drinks wouldn’t exactly make a pauper of him.

Officer Coventry: Richard, Richard…mmm. What is his surname?

Miss O’Phonic: Prowse.

Officer Coventry: Prouse? Like the park

Miss O’Phonic: No, no he’s not that famous. Prowse - like the blanket man.

Officer Coventry: Oh I see.

Miss O’Phonic: Anyway, after a bit of a hiatus he comes back with a vengeance in about November and makes his noises for 3, sometimes 4 hours a day right up until the end of the year.

Officer Coventry: How many hours a year do you think?

Miss O’Phonic: I keep a log. The year just gone I counted 302 hours

Officer Coventry: Jeez…I mean Jeepers! Don’t worry Miss O’Phonic I’ll see what I can do.

Miss O’Phonic: Thank you Officer Coventry.

YESTERYEARS

2012-01-03T15:54:00.002+13:00

As I said before I have been re-reading Spike Milligan's memoirs. Apart from being hilarious and an insight into the man and his art they have been especially interesting to me because his war experiences in North Africa and Italy are similar to my father's. Milligan, after a couple of years training in England, shipped out to Algiers with he 56th Heavy Regiment Royal Artillery in January 1943. He saw action in North Africa through the El Alamein campaigns and the fall of Tunis. After Salerno he was in action in Italy around Naples and towards Cassino. He was blown up by a mortar round on January 20 1944 near Lauro near Naples and suffered shell shock which took him out of the front lines. At this time my father was near Bari as the New Zealanders, after North Africa had landed at Taranto in the bottom left (East) of Italy. The New Zealand Divisional Cavalry was making its way up the East coast of Italy and the British were making their way up the West Coast to meet at Cassino on the way to Rome. Dad got blown up on 26 September 1944 by the Uso river near Florence. See:

http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2009/09/26-september-1944.html

I find it interesting that Milligan has photographs and describes places and events just like the photographs and stories that my father recounted. They were in the same theatre of war in Africa and Italy and must have, on different days, stood on the same ground.

SEEK AND YE SHALL FIND

2012-01-03T15:10:00.000+13:00

I am almost through re-reading the sixth in the series of Spike Milligan's war memoirs - the seventh Peace Work I have misplaced and will have to find a copy to buy somewhere.
In the 5th and 6th - Where Have all The Bullets Gone? and Goodbye Soldier Milligan is a performing artist, while still in the army, in Italy. He travels on the army show circuit with the Central Pool of Artists and performs in The Bill Hall Trio with Bill Hall and Johnny Mulgrew. In these memoirs Milligan talks of how well received the trio were and describes the style of performance. This time I was keen to find out what they sounded like so 'googled' Bull Hall Trio and sure enough a rare (and actually only) clip came up from a 1947 performance:

HERE

After 1947 the trio went on without Milligan until the 80's but with little success. This is a shame as they demonstrate some brilliance. I guess they needed Milligan's manic creativity to make them stand out.

RAINY DAYS

2012-01-03T12:11:00.001+13:00

Some friends have spent their Christmas in Scotland. We made fun of them before they went saying that we hoped they would enjoy the wine rain and cold. Little did we know that we would have that weather here in Northland right through Christmas and New Year.

It has been a holiday period of reading books, doing crosswords and Sudoku. playing snooker and watching a bit of TV (Come Dine with Me, Eggheads and Midsomer Murders - its a wonder that there is anyone left in Midsomer).

Today the wind has dropped but it is very misty with light rain.

We should go for a kayak while the water is so calm but I think the plan is a walk up the hill to the local cafe for a fish and chip lunch (freshly caught Snapper or John Dory) then more UKTV.

OUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

2011-12-31T11:17:00.001+13:00

Sorry about the Serutan advertisement.

On Christmas eve I broke a tooth which I have been having repaired by the dentist. The crown preparation has been done with a temporary crown inserted with the real one being ready in 2 weeks. It is a porcelain gold construction. At $1500 I wondered if it shouldn't have been made from platinum.

Today The Old Girl broke a tooth. The molar on the same side as my broken one but an upper one. She will have to wait like I did until Wednesday for dental work. She will also get a crown done and no doubt this will cost about $1500. We looked at each other and laughed, wondering, at our ages what other bits are going to fall off.

BAYWATCH

2011-12-25T18:36:00.001+13:00

I've probably bored you before when talking about where I live but I never cease to be amazed how beautiful it is up here and how uncrowded it is. It is like the place has never properly been discovered. Most people who travel up North I am sure by-pass Whangarei to go to Pahia and Russell, never thinking to head out East towards the coast.
If they did they would discover Whangarei Heads and the many beautiful bays that nestle the huge and magnificent harbour.
When leaving Onerahi, the airport suburb of Whangarei you travel along the Whangarei Heads Road that runs out to the Heads alongside the water.
The first bay that is found is Tamaterau.

Tamaterau

This gives a taste of what is to come.

Next is Parua Bay.

Parua Bay

Parua Bay is a huge bay with the largest population.
Here is what it looks like at night.

After Parua Bay the road cuts inland a bit before reaching McLeod Bay where I live.

Next bay along is Little Munroe

followed by Tauarikura

Taurikura by day

Taurikura by night

then McKenzie Bay

McKenzie Bay

and lastly Urquarts Bay where my sister lives

Urquarts Bay

Over the hill is the dramatic Ocean Beach where surfers play and Orca and Dolphins are often seen frolicking.

We went there today for our walk. The smaller first part you arrive at where the surf club is was crowded (must have been about 30 people there.

Walking left along the beach for about half a kilometre and going around the rocks we went along the second part of the beach for about 2 kilometres and there was no-one there.

Skirting the rocks at the end of this part we reached the third part of the beach which gores for about 5 kilometres and again there was no=one there. We waked about a kilometre, found a great spot to watch pounding surf and had a picnic lunch before returning. We found an amazing bucket washed up. It was plastic about the size of a laundry basket with rope handles. we filled it with seaweed for the garden and carried it back.

Thanks to the photographers who posted their photographs of this area on the internet. II will do the same with mine soon.

COMFORT

2011-12-25T11:41:00.000+13:00

Ahh the joy of being at home away from the city.
Shorts and T-shirt will be de rigeur for as long as I'm here (unfortunately not long enough as I will be working the non-statutory days). We've had a nice Christmas morning here, exchanging presents, corn fritters and bacon for breakfast and listening to a nice selection of music - Pachebal, Vaughan Williams, Gregorian, Albioni etc. - festive and Christmassy without being tacky.
I had to rescue one of my favourite shirts from the rubbish - "It makes you look like a bag a of busted arseholes" said the Old Girl, not for the first time - but I like it.

We are off for a long walk along Ocean Beach soon and a picnic lunch before visiting the neighbours for drinks and then a big Christmas dinner (just the two of us) with Champagne, Pinot Noir and trifle!

THE CURSE OF RICHARD'S BASS BAG

2011-12-24T17:04:00.002+13:00

Well, Richard's curse really.
I'm afraid I wasn't very sympathetic over ~~the big wuss~~ ~~old jelly-belly~~ M~~r wimpy~~ Richard's toothache and looming extraction a few weeks ago and now it seems he has cursed me.
I broke a piece off a large molar today while eating a ham sandwich. A bloody (almost) sandwich. How the hell did that happen? It was freshly baked bread, nice and soft, with a delicious piece of moist and fat free ham with hot English mustard inside.

I suppose that the tooth had been weakened by the big chunk of hard Thornton's toffee that I had crunched up earlier.

This stuff is great. The 'Mother-in-law' sent some with the Christmas pack from Aberdeen along with Gold Bars, Caramac and all sorts of other sweet British stuff guaranteed to ruin your teeth. I'll have to send her a note telling her that it worked.

Murphy's (Sod's) Law of course dictates that you break a tooth during the Christmas closure for most dentists. I rang around and discovered one close to my work in Auckland that is open between Christmas and New Year. Well, they weren't open today so I had to leave a voice message (dentists haven't discovered e-mail yet).

I'll have to be careful what I eat between now and then. Soft and mushy stuff I guess which is OK when it comes to trifle but crunchy roast potatoes might be a bit of a struggle. Bugger. I could put the Christmas roast meal in a blender and suck it up through a straw I suppose.

AHHH, FRIDAY

2011-12-24T08:17:00.000+13:00

Horoscopes.
Written by young things (or sad old bastards pretending to be young things) that invariably say things like "If you're single then expect some wonderful news this week"

The trigger for that was watching the wonderful Getting On TV programme this evening where Jo Brand was talking about her horoscope one morning being totally different to what her daily life was like.

Getting On is one of those sublime British television comedy dramas that will endure in the same way that The Office, The Thick of It and Yes Minister will endure. Interestingly Peter Capaldi the wonderfully ascerbic Malcolm in The Thick of it directs Getting On and some of the characters act in both shows.
"I don't usually cry after sex. Before and during, that's a given but.." - a line from Free Agents another good British comedy. You can see I'm talking about UKTV here.

Which brings me back to Fridays. Bugger all that TGIF crap. I like Fridays because they are Fridays. Most of my working life I have worked Saturdays so Friday doesn't mean the end of a working week. Why do I like them?
Some random thoughts are:

Ivanhoe. The TV series screened on TV in New Zealand in the mid 1960's. It was on Friday nights at 6.30. Brilliant. The neighbourhood kids would play after school, have tea and meet again after Ivanhoe and relive our favourite moments.

Fish and Chip lunches at school. They have never been better since. The orders were accepted at 'playtime' (the mid-morning break). The goods were ordered and picked up at lunch-time. In big boxes. The wrapped parcels we all squashed together and different flavours and aromas infused. You might have ordered fish and chips with vinegar but the meal would be flavoured/tainted with battered saveloys and Worcester sauce or oysters.

Friday nights at The Grand in Willis Street Wellington when I was at University. Meeting up with friends, having a few beers and the expectation of a party. Brilliant.

Wines after work in the 'cellar door' of the wine companies I have worked for. A chance to try new vintages, old vintages, trial offerings etc.

Late night shopping in Wellington when I was a kid off to spend my pocket money.

OK - the TGIF mood that fellow workers who don't work on Saturdays get.

Well, Friday wasn't so good for him

I like Fridays because I get away from work and the city and back to our house up North. It is also, as you can see from the comments above, the best TV night with those good British comedies.

Getting back to horoscopes, who doesn't sneak a look at those things? as Jo Brand observed they are usually written about love, romance and riches. Jo Brand's character in Getting On is a nurse aide in a geriatric hospital. Her horoscope doesn't say "old Mrs McGrundy is going to have a whoopsie in her bed today and you have to clean it up". Do you know I once studied Astrology? This was at Victoria University in the 1970's. I actually studied lots of things at University - law, architecture, computing, seismology, history, renaissance art, French, English, education, physics and philosophy. The astrology classes were in the evening. I 'studied' this because a young woman, Veronica (yes Veronica just like in the Archie comics) was doing it. Garth Carpenter was the tutors name. He was big in Astrology in New Zealand at the time. I think that Robert Muldoon used to use him as an economic forecaster.

'My' Veronica looked like this. Totally out of my league.

Anyway, creating astrology charts was bloody boring and Veronica wasn't interested in me (probably gay) so I gave it up and got uselessly diverted in another direction.

I've lost my train of thought now (damn Veronica) so here's what Richard (of RBB) would do.

JUST ARRIVED IN PARADISE

2011-12-23T20:43:00.001+13:00

No, I didn't crash and kark it on the way. Besides, according to Christian Doctrine and the Catechism I'd have gone in the other direction as I have committed these most heinous sins over the last few years:

Haven't attended Mass every Sunday
Taken the lord's name in vain
Coveted my neighbours wife (in thought not deed)
Coveted my neigbour's ass (well, he doesn't own a donkey but see above, I've sneaked a look at his wife's arse.
I've stolen (apart from glances at the neighbours wife's arse) many images from the web to use in my blog posts

I haven't done any of the other things that the commandments forbid me to but hey! The year hasn't finished yet.

Back to paradise. I have just driven up to McLeod Bay from Auckland. The Old Girl is baby-sitting the Godson tonight in Auckland so she is driving up first thing in the morning. It has been a busy week, well every week is busy nowadays that I have taken up (gasp) working again. The roads were pretty good ( I took the back way via Highway 16) so made good ground - 2 hours 15 in the Rover. I can do it in 2 hours 10 in the peugeot because it is newer and safer on corners.

Driving around the Whangarei Heads road to McLeod Bay was magical. Honestly, I could just feel the stress leave my shoulders at the first glimpse of the Bay with Mount Manaia in the background.

Just to make sure that the stress was going to leave I quickly took a bottle of Nobilo Gisborne Chardonnay 2008 from the fridge as a precaution and poured myself a bifg glass while preparing home made oven baked chips and pan-fried snapper (caught from the waters I can see out of the kitchen window.

Life is good and I'm looking forward to catching up on what Richard's Bus Station ~~derelicts~~ ~~inebriates~~ ~~down and outers~~ ~~hangers around~~ fellow travellers have been doing. Lack of time and the vagaries of indifferent telecommunications during the week prohibit me from keeping up to date.

GO FIGURE

2011-12-18T13:30:00.001+13:00

Well, you don't need to as I can tell you.
There have been 1,786 hits on this post here.

The Little Rascals

I guess quality and content of a post is not important it is just the heading that can attract attention.

GIS A JOB

2011-12-18T10:33:00.001+13:00

See here: I can do that

A Well-Planned Retirement - From The London Times:

TRUE STORY

Outside the Bristol Zoo, in England , there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 coaches, or buses.

It was manned by a very pleasant attendant with a ticket machine charging cars £1 (about $1.40) and coaches £5 (about $7).

This parking attendant worked there solid for all of 25 years. Then, one day, he just didn't turn up for work.

"Oh well", said Bristol Zoo Management - "we'd better phone up the City Council and get them to send a new parking attendant . . . "

"Err . . . no", said the Council, "that parking lot is your responsibility."

"Err . . . no", said Bristol Zoo Management, "the attendant was employed by the City Council, wasn't he?"
"Err . . . no!" insisted he's not one of my employees said the Council.

Sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (presumably), is a man who had been taking the parking lot fees, estimated at £400 (about $560) per
day at Bristol Zoo for the last 25 years. Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over £3.6 million ($7 million - or $280,000 every year for 25 years)!
TAX FREE!

And no one even knows his name!

STRANGER THAN FICTION

2011-12-17T09:39:00.001+13:00

"Stranger than fictionLarger than lifeFull of shades and echoesIt's the story of my life"

Listen

When I was looking for an image of underpants for the previous post I found 'Captain Underpants"

and in turn this took me to a Captain Underpants website where a strange guy Dan reports on strange bits of news. Now whether true or not, more likely not, this tickled my fancy:

"Old Man McGumbus, 103 and former World War II grenade specialist, was driving his 1986 Buick down Main Street when a deer sprang out in front of him. McGumbus clipped the deer, and it damaged the right headlight of his Buick. Infuriated, the old man went into the trunk of his car and grabbed his M203 Grenade Launcher, which fires a 40 mm grenade. McGumbus, wasting no time, spotted the deer in his sights, whispered the words to himself, “God damn hippies,” and fired. In an instant, the deer exploded into hundreds of pieces. There were deer guts everywhere on Main Street and splattered on some of the cars parked on the side of the road. One of the cars splattered was Bert Pickles, who drives an MG, he is 24 years old and plays in the rock band, “Cool Before It Was Cool.” Pickles yelled out to McGumbus, “Hey Old Man! You messed up my MG!” To which McGumbus replied by loading another grenade into his grenade launcher and said, “That MG? THAT MG YOU GOD DAMN HIPPIE!!!” McGumbus fired and blew up the MG, causing a severe fire that needed to be put out. There is a YouTube video online of McGumbus walking in slow motion with his grenade launcher through the fire like some kind of 103-year-old Terminator. No arrests were made."

Borrowed from here

I guess old Dan has a bit of a fetish about grenade launchers (and underpants).
I bet he likes this clip:

Bozo on the end of a Mk 19

GRIPE #4

2011-12-11T09:52:00.001+13:00

Underpants. Modern underpants. Why does the bloody brand tag have to be on the outside?
When I was buying underpants (nowadays the Old Girl has taken over this task) the manufacturers always put the brand name inside, at the back, at the top where you knew where to find it. Invariably it said 'Jockey' and sometimes 'Haines'. 'My' underpants unfortunately are getting a bit threadbare as some of them are well over 20 years old. I continually have to rescue them from the rubbish bin but, as the assortment is growing fewer I suspect that the Old Girl has rumbled to my fossicking.

Why is this a problem? Well, now that I have to wake at the crack of dawn again (7AM), shower and blearily search in the underwear drawer I find myself putting the damned (new) things on back to front and don't notice until later.

OK, not relevant to the post but I thought this was funny

OLD FOLKS BOOGIE

2011-12-10T11:09:00.001+13:00

I remember when living in Christchurch the couple next door, in their seventies, would crank up the radiogram on Saturday nights and boogie away into the wee hours (or until 9.30). There is a great radio programme on National Radio on Saturday evenings where 'the oldies' request music. No doubt I'll be tuning in soon.

CD's and entertainment is not the exclusive domain of teenagers with their mind-numbing music.

There is a hell of a lot out there that doesn't get written up in Melody Maker, Rip It Up and Rolling Stone but which is meaningful to (probably) more people than the supposed target teenage market who bootleg, copy and otherwise steal it anyway.

The prompt for this ~~rant~~ post is the CD I bought at Countdown supermarket the other day. It is 'A Kiwi Journey' which has music and historical narrative from prominent Northlanders. It has been made as a fund-raising initiative for Project Promise with which I have been associated.

This is a very good cause aiming to raise $3m for an oncology centre at Whangarei Base Hospital. I am going to buy more of these CD's for Christmas gifts. I really exhort (with an 'h' not a 't') you to buy one of these and support a very worthy cause.

OK, its not rock and roll and won't make the top 10 charts but it is a good listen and a good reminder that there is a lot of good stuff out there that doesn't get hyped up. If you are too young (yeah right) to listen to it now then buy it, put it aside for a few years and enjoy it in your dotage.

SLIPPAGE

2011-12-08T18:46:00.001+13:00

On Monday night after dinner I looked through the offerings on TV but was disappointed that there was nothing that looked interesting. Mad Dogs, the British series about aging blokes on an adventure in Spain had finished the week before with no adequate replacement.
I settled on Criminal Minds having heard or read some hype about how good it was - award winning and all that. Boy it was crap. Bad acting, Bad writing. Bad Direction. Bad filming. I persevered for about 10 minutes and gave up in disgust. I looked through the DVDs that The Old Girl had brought down from our collection up North and was overjoyed to discover the full series of Cracker the outstanding Robbie Coltrane series written by Jimmy McGovern.

Now this was something. I watched the 'Mad Woman in the attic' episode in two parts. I was gob-smacked. I hadn't seen this for quite a few years and it was still great. Good acting. Good writing. Good direction and good filming.
I feel sorry for our younger generation. They are seduced into watching rubbish that is dressed up in marketing hype which is really watered down versions of what has been produced before. This is not to say that all new stuff is rubbish as winessed by The sopranos, The Wire, Dexter and Treme (although all of these feature initially on HBO) but the other bullshit that is presented as quality drama is really forensic porn.

CHRISTMAS TIME. ITS CHRISTMAS TIME AGAIN

2011-12-03T22:15:00.000+13:00

Oh no. All the usual crap mainly driven around retail sales (and, nowadays just that - bloody SALES - where the moronic retailers discount stuff BEFORE Christmas).
Hopefully, amongst all the dross will be the good things like Mike, Tony and I catching up for our yearly pre-Christmas lunch, letters and cards from old friends, re-runs of some good UK TV programmes (Morecombe and Wise springs to mind) and the tasteful Christmas displays in quality stores like Ballantynes, Kirkaldie and Staines and Smith and Caughey.

But, one of the great things about New Zealand Christmases (well in the North Island anyway) is the flowering of the Pohutukawa trees that generally start in the first week of December. We are working in Auckland during the week and coming home to McLeod Bay on weekends. Last weekend the trees by the bay were not in flower. This weekend they are getting dressed for Christmas. Magic.

Pohutukawa tree starting to flower - view from the Kitchen Saturday 3 December 2011

GRIPE #3

2011-12-03T15:38:00.000+13:00

Courier companies.
I have problems with them at work when trying to get them to pick something up we want to send.
I have problems with them when I'm driving as their drivers continually cut in front of other cars, double park in busy lanes, ignore traffic signals and generally drive like idiots.
I also have problems with them when something is delivered at home. They operate between 9 and 4. They call at your house and, surprise surprise find no-one home as it is a working day. They leave a card saying that the item can be collected from their depot between 9 and 5.30 Monday to Friday.
Right. Have courier companies not grasped that nowadays mot householders are at work. Why can't they change their operating hours to suit the bloody customer? Oh, I see, their customer is the organisation who sends the stuff. People like Vodafone. It is not the poor bloody sap who receives the parcel. That person has to hang around all day or take time off during a working day to drive miles to pick the item up. What the hell is wrong with having the depot open to say 7PM or on weekends?

When wishes come true

GRIPE #2

2011-12-03T15:28:00.000+13:00

OK, call me stupid but when I signed up for 'Naked Broadband' with Vodafone I thought that I would be getting a broadband device that didn't require a fixed land-line. How silly of me. They of course have another product named Mobile Broadband. I of course assumed that this was a way of accessing the internet from your mobile not the bloody computer. When signing up via Vodafone's very complicated and consumer unfriendly website I entered the information that we were just moving into a flat that had no telephone, that we didn't want a fixed line phone and wanted broadband to suit. On Thursday (see Gripe #3) I arrived home after work to find a courier card at the door saying that they tried to deliver a parcel but no-one was home. The parcel could be collected the next day between the hours of 9AM and 5.30PM at their depot ON THE OTHER SIDE OF BLOODY TOWN! On Friday I collected this at lunchtime to discover that it was a Vodafone fixed line modem that is of no use to me. Today, Saturday I received an invoice for the damned connection. SHIT! (sorry, scatology). Look, I know that I am not good at new technology but I'm not a slug at it either. I work with a computer at home and the office and generally know my way around the ether. What if I was an O.A.P. (no jokes please)? How the hell does a novice to the computer world negotiate the miasma-filled labyrinths that these geeks create?

GRIPE #1

2011-12-03T09:17:00.000+13:00

At my age there are so many things to complain about that the little annoying things get passed over. The problem with these little annoying things are that they are often a regular niggle we we tend to put up with them.

Gripe #1. Why does washing up liquid have to be so bloody foamy nowadays? In the old days you squirted a bit in and it soaped the dishes nicely. The bubbles were sufficient to do the job and still allowed you to see into the sink and differentiate between glasses, dishes, pots and very sharp knives. This new-fangled stuff acts like a bubble bath and the foam goes about a foot higher than the top of the sink as you run the water and threatens to engulf you.. I reckon that dishwasher manufacturers have somehow taken over the dishwashing liquid companies and are making this horrible crap to drive is all into buying their machines. Bastards!

YOU DID IT SO LIVE WITH IT

2011-11-27T08:23:00.000+13:00

To all those well-intentioned but naive non National voters out there who didn't vote Labour and didn't vote to get rid of MMP.

And that also goes for the huge numbers who didn't vote at all.

WORD VERIFICATIONS

2011-11-26T20:55:00.000+13:00

You know that the standard of blogging has gone down. You know that.

As a counterpoint though, Google has lifted its game in the humour of the 'randomised' word verifications.

They intrigue me and I think that the word verification (w.v.) picks up on the words used in the comments to posts. I'll see what comes up as I comment on this post as another viewer.

ROAD RULES

2011-11-26T12:10:00.002+13:00

Driving 500 km each weekend on State Highways 16 and 1 highlights the problems we have in New Zealand with drivers who have no or little understanding of the road rules. I heard Stephen Joyce on the radio a few weeks ago promising to review the licensing system should he and his dodgy mates get re-elected. In short, he highlighted the problem in this country where there is a very high number of unlicensed drivers and those still driving on learners permits after many years. He said, correctly, that until people passed the full licence they haven't demonstrated that they understand the rules and regulations. The intention is to cancel temporary licences after a few years and make the holder go back to the beginning. This is all very well but unless we actually have meaningful penalties then nothing will change. I live in a rural area. I searched the web to find out the quantum of the problem and came across this:

Unlicensed driving among urban and rural Maori drivers: New Zealand drivers study.
McDowell A, Begg D, Connor J, Broughton J.Source
Injury Prevention Research Unit, Dunedin School of Medicine, University of Otago, Dunedin 9054, New Zealand. anna.mcdowell@ipru.otago.ac.nz
Abstract
OBJECTIVE:
To determine the extent and type of self-reported unlicensed car driving and reasons given for driving before getting a license among Maori drivers in urban and rural areas of New Zealand.
METHOD:
Participants included 824 people of self-identified Maori ethnicity. The ages ranged from 15 to 65 years, with the majority of participants aged 15 (37%), 16 (21%), or 17 (14%) years at the time of recruitment. Participants were recruited after passing the car driver's learner license theory test at a driver licensing agency or a learner license course or by the participant responding to a postcard placed at licensing agencies nationwide. All participants completed a self-administered questionnaire that included items for a wide range of personal, driving, and licensing-related variables. The cohort was not randomly selected but included as many eligible participants as possible, with recruitment taking place in urban and rural areas of both the North and South Islands of New Zealand.
RESULTS:
Unlicensed car driving experience was common, especially among rural participants (urban: 65%, rural: 83%). The nature and extent of driving experience and reasons for driving unlicensed were remarkably similar for urban and rural drivers, Females (47%) were more likely than males (37%) to report previous experience of a serious traffic crash. Being stopped by the police for driving unlicensed was not common (24% urban, 17% rural), but for those who had been stopped, the consequences varied by residential location.
CONCLUSIONS:
Driving before obtaining a driver's license was common practice and the amount of driving extensive, for both rural and urban drivers. Furthermore, contrary to common perceptions in New Zealand, the need and opportunities for driving were similar, irrespective of place of residence. This suggests that similar issues may need to be addressed by both urban and rural Maori community road safety providers.

Now I'm not saying that Maori nationally cause the greatest problem but in Northland there is a much higher proportion of Maori than elsewhere in the country. This report may be relevent to rural dwellers in total.

In Australia they take the problem a little more seriously and, like their drink-drive regulations they actually legislate properly against unlicensed drivers. See:

Unlicensed Drivers
If you drive unlicensed, you risk having the vehicle you are driving impounded.
Likewise, if you allow an unlicensed person to drive your vehicle, you risk having your vehicle impounded.
This law takes effect in addition to existing penalties and applies when a person drives in one of the following circumstances:
The driver licensing authority has suspended or refused to renew a person’s driver licence, or refused to issue a person with licence.
The person has had their licence cancelled.
A court has imposed a disqualification upon the person.
The person is subject to a disqualification because of the accumulation of an excessive number of demerit points.
The person has an extraordinary licence and is driving contrary to a condition relating to the time, purpose or location.
Roadside vehicle impoundment will apply to the vehicle used by the driver at the time of the offence, including borrowed vehicles or a vehicle used for commercial purposes.

Penalties
The penalties for unlicensed driving range from 28 day roadside impoundment to court imposed sanctions for repeat offenders including impoundment for up to 3 months duration (after conviction of two relevant unlicensed driving offences), and for up to 6 months duration or confiscation (after conviction of three relevant unlicensed driving offences).

In addition to the inconvenience of losing the car, the cost of impoundment will typically be around $900 for the full 28 day period. Vehicles will not be released until the costs are paid in full. Further penalties, including permanent vehicle confiscation, will apply for repeat offenders.

So what have I noticed (more) now I am driving a lot.

1. Lane changing. Do you know that when indicating a change of lane you ~~should~~ must use the indicator at least 3 seconds before changing lanes. Makes sense? Most people, if they indicate at all, turn the blinkers on while making the lane change or even after doing so. Stupid.

2. Passing on yellow lines.

3. Passing on bridges

4. Passing on blind corners

5. Following too close. The Road rules in New Zealand has the 2-second rule for good weather conditions and 4-second rule for bad. It is recommended that the motorist takes a fixed position ahead of an object and count how long it takes to get there. At whatever speed the time should be at least 2 seconds to ascertain the distance that should be left between cars.
This table is in feet and is based on 3-seconds but shows the distance needed.

Three-Second Rule		Safe Interval Should Be >	3 seconds	6 seconds
Speed	Distance Traveled	For These Conditions >	Good	Marginal
25 m.p.h.	37 ft. per second		111 ft.	222 ft.
35 m.p.h.	52 ft. per second		166 ft.	312 ft.
45 m.p.h.	66 ft. per second		198 ft.	396 ft.
55 m.p.h.	81 ft. per second		243ft.	486 ft.
65 m.p.h.	96 ft. per second		288 ft.	576 ft.
75 m.p.h.	111 ft. per second		333 ft.	666 ft.
			Safe Following Distance in Feet

So, how many people know or adhere to this rule? Bugger all I think.

6. Turning right off a main highway. This one always surprises me. when I was taught to drive it was mandatory to, when wanting to turn right off a main (80km plus) highway, where there is not a marked turning area, to pull over to the left until it was safe to cross. Every time I drive up North, some moron stops in the middle of the open road to turn right into a driveway or minor road. Behind them cars are barrelling along at 80 to 120km per hour and they fucking stop in the middle of the road!

7. Driving unsafe vehicles. Bald tyres, rust, insecure bonnets, doors, boots and even roofs is de-rigeur up here.

8. P.

9. Pulling out onto the main road without checking that it is safe to do so.

10. Alcohol and excessive speed.

STRANGE PHONE CALLS

2011-11-25T21:20:00.000+13:00

Have you ever had a weird phone call? The one where the person on the other end doesn't seem quite right? I wrote a post on one a couple of years ago, see here:

http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2009/06/trust.html

Tonight when I got home after being away all week there was a single message on the answer phone. "Remember to mow the lawns" the voice said and nothing else. What the hell was that. This disembodied voice is what? My conscience? The neighbourhood home and garden club? A motor-mower salesman? No. On listening again I recognised the voice as belonging to none other than Richard (of RBB). Has anyone else received strange big-brotherly comments from him?

WHEN THE OLD GIRL'S AWAY

2011-11-20T00:00:00.001+13:00

...... I play my '70's music. That's what she calls it but to be fair a lot is from the '60's and '80's as well.
Tonight, as she is in auckland setting up the new townhouse flat we have rented and I am up North, I can indulge.
Playing select tracks from music that was important to me in my youth can be both fun and sad. It is certainly nostalgic and takes me back to places I have been and people I have known. When listening to some tonight I realised that I really like it. This is not to say that it is any better (my selections) than other music that was around at the time or music of the following generations (see MOE's excellent essays on the music that influenced him in the '80's and '90's) but it has meaning. To me.

Listening to Trafiic's 'Low Spark of High Heeled Boys' took me back to Vogeltown and the period between school and universty - a time of change and liberation:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c2OIlJXbuVo&feature=related

And Roger Chapman's quavering voice on Family's 'The Weaver's Answer' sent shivers up my spine and seemed ethereal when echoing around Aro Valley late at night:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uzl_HIeE3Y++

Small Faces was a group I liked when I was at school and I had all the albums. 'Afterglow of Your Love', 'Tin Soldier', 'Autumn Stone' etc. were all favourites but I particularly liked "The Universal' because it was mad and subversive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1-lhhHojV_o

Arthur Brown, Cream, Spencer Davis Group, Them, Animals, Chicken Shack, The Kinks, The Yardbird's and others represented another world to me and one I love. after forty years its interesting to know that the music is still as fresh and alive to me now as it was then.
Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f9mQkFpkShg

STILL GOOD

2011-11-19T22:14:00.000+13:00

I watched an interview of Noel Gallagher on TV last night and he said that the name of his new album came from Peter Green's 'Man of The Word' - a bit of it played here. It is an enduring classic along with virtually everything else he did in his band, Fleetwood Mac when they were something (not the pale imitation it became after he left).
Check out his music sometime.

YOU SHINE OUT LIKE A SHAFT OF GOLD WHEN ALL ABOUT YOU IS DARK

2011-11-19T21:01:00.000+13:00

Yes, I ~~borrowed~~ stole that from Monty Python. See below:

Sorry about the Czech subtitles.

I was reminded of this quote and the Monty Python sketch when watching Treme on the new SOHO channel (SKY 10) tonight. Set in New Orleans after the hurricane and flood and resultant devastation (6 months after) it shows the community(s) trying to get their lives back into order. This works on a lot of levels. It is well written and has a very good acting cast. It has very good production values and doesn't skimp on 'setting the scene'. More relevant and importantly though it has resonance with anyone who has recently experienced loss. And, who hasn't. The Global financial meltdown is mirrored. Personal disasters, family deaths and disappearances are an ongoing theme but, overall is a sense of tristesse - a loss of something that was there before and has slipped away. This is good (at least to me) and is worth checking out.
The New Orleans music scene is interesting and I think well covered with the conflict between 'authentic' and 'popular'.

A city rebuilding itself against the problems of a slow bureaucracy, weasly insurance companies and a nation that is 'over it' must mean something to Christchurch residents.

My reference to the Monty Python sketch is because we have so much TV selection nowadays that the good stuff gets lost unless it is really good. Occasionally something shines through and when it does I try to follow it.

SOME WHIMSY FOR A SATURDAY MORNING

2011-11-19T09:08:00.001+13:00

Its a nice sunny morning up North. I have just woken up after having a nice sleep in. I have been getting up at 6.30 every morning during the week! A friend sent this ukulele band clip. Its nice and gentle. I hope you enjoy it.

"SIMON DIDN'T KNOW WHETHER TO COME IN HIS PANTS OR TEXT HIS FRIENDS. IN THE END HE DID BOTH"

2011-11-18T21:53:00.001+13:00

....... This was a voiceover in tonight's Inbetweeners, the UKTV show I talked about last week see:

http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2011/11/excuse-me-for-being-so-stressed-but-ive.html

It related to when Simon, one of the show's regular characters is kissed by a girl for the first time. I know that this will appeal to Richard (of RBB) who , for strange reasons of his own, mangles my Curmudgeon name into 'comeinyourpants'. Now there's an Inbetweeners' character if there ever was one.

SPORT ON TV

2011-11-12T01:48:00.000+13:00

I used to think that there was too much of it. Endless series of boring cricket, overexposed rugby, under-performing ~~soccer~~ football, disappointing net-ball and thuggish rugby-league was pissing me off ..... until I discovered Lingerie Football!

I USED TO LIKE DRINKING TEA.....

2011-11-12T01:42:00.000+13:00

..... but lately have gone off it.

For years now I have been drinking Irish Breakfast tea, either from Twinings or from Dilmah. I like the strong blend like 'navvies' tea. It reminds me of the stuff I brewed up for my Dad's workers on the building sites when I was a roustabout in school holidays. I recently entered the Twinings competition to create the New Zealand Breakfast tea. See here:

http://nzwineguy.blogspot.com/2010/04/blend-it-like.html

I didn't win with my submission as I refused to put that bloody awful Earl Grey in it, but The Old Girl likes my blend and only ever drinks it.

What has annoyed me recently has been the endless reporting of John Key having a 'cup of tea' with John Banks. The 'will he or won't he' was the stuff of teenage magazines and frankly not deserving of prime-time news coverage. At one stage a set-up of a silver teapot was used as if it was the bloody rugby world cup! What idiots they think we are. The whole thing is a rort and it flies in the face of democratic voting.

If we really want to see what John Key (Shonkey) is about just recollect his behaviour during a minutes silence for earthquake victims in Christchurch last week. He was either electioneering or chatting up. Either way it was not appreciated by the locals so if they vote the idiot in again God help them.

Sshhhh!

LITTLE MURDERS

2011-11-12T00:52:00.001+13:00

OK, he nailed it.
But this post is not about Malcolm Tucker's opinions of bloggers although he did feature, as he always does, with this diatribe against bloggers in tonight's episode of The Thick of It replayed on UKTV on Friday nights. Peter Capaldi's vicious portrayal of a spin doctor in this very, very cleverly written political spoof is worth watching no matter how dated it becomes (like Yes Minister).

In this episode Nicola the Minister, at a Party conference preparing a speech is accompanied by her entourage of secretaries and PR people. In the opening scene she enters the hotel room of one of her lackeys to discover that it is more of a suite than a room and definitely larger than hers. The to-and-fro accusations disguised as queries is really funny and quite spot on.

This is about dysfunction.

I have experienced this in my working career. There is a ridiculous hierarchy in business of any kinds - corporations, government institutions, professional bodies - that dictate salary levels, office allocations, vehicle attributions etc. often unconnected to worth or ability. I have been on overseas conferences and visits where the scenario as in The Thick of It was played out. On two separate occasions, years apart, I was witness to and key player in similar farces. Once it was the Chief Executive of a company I worked for and reported to and a relatively junior management member one level below me and the other time it was me and my direct boss the 'President'. On both occasions the 'supremo' was allocated an ordinary room and the junior an elaborate suite. It was bloody funny but the bosses who were pulling down substantially bigger salaries and benefits behaved like petulant schoolboys. I don't think they ever realised the damage it did to their positions or the companies reputations because, like most Chief Executives, they are only aware of their own position and advancement, but I thought it was funny. I told my President that he was behaving like a wanker which, in retrospect didn't help in my career advancement. Dysfunction, small hassles that don't get resolved are the Little Murders that bring us all down.
A superb film from the early 1970's was Jules Ffeiffer's Little Murders. The link to this clip is a trailer. Don't be put off by the slickness. If you ever get the opportunity- see the film. I'm sure you'll love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Tm7XalL8bc

GAY PENGUINS. WHAT NEXT?

2011-11-11T21:49:00.000+13:00

Have you heard about the gay penguins? I'm not talking about Richard (of RBB) dressed up in a dinner suit but that's another story.

No, I'm referring to Buddy and Pedro who currently live in a zoo in Toledo and have a 'good' relationship. The 'powers-that-be' have decided to separate these two who incidentally have been buddies for years so that they can procreate (with females) indifferent zoos. It has caused an uproar with gay-rights activists around the world petitioning the zoo to let the old guys live their lives the way they choose. Fair enough.

"EXCUSE ME FOR BEING SO STRESSED BUT I'VE GOT NO FUCKING PUBES!"

2011-11-11T21:23:00.000+13:00

Got your attention?
Good. That was a line from The Inbetweeners, a really funny British comedy currently screening on UKTV on Friday nights.

It is good and covers lots of those teenage angst scenarios we all know except that nowadays it is all aired whereas in my time this was all hidden.. I like the teachers who use sarcasm, cruelty and indifference to keep their charges in place. Tonight's story (not unlike the usual ones) concerns masturbation, lust over other friends mothers, lust over older girls, masturbation, anxiety over sexual performance, worry about the state of ones genitals and, oh yes, masturbation.
Its all good fun with liberal sprinkling of the 'fuck' word, a scene of one of the teenagers masturbating over a 1940's photo of one of the residents of an old people's home, shaking hands with an official representative with spunk on his hands etc etc. Quite normal really. Its just that this programme screened between 8.30 PM and 9PM. I'm not a prude but I think that standards are slipping. And, did I mention? They used the 'C' word at 8.45PM.

WASTING MONEY ON FIREWORKS

2011-11-05T14:43:00.001+13:00

I used to. It was a big deal when I was a kid, before people used to hoard them and let them off at any time of the year. We used to raise money by collecting empty beer and soft-drink bottles and pinecones and fire-wood and selling them. Back in the 60's we also used to raise money by making a 'guy' which was a stuffed replica of poor old Guy Fawkes.

In the Gunpowder Plot of 1605, Fawkes and other conspirators were horribly executed after trying to blow up King James 1. Its a pity they got caught really as the bastard deserved to get his arse blown off .... but that's another story.

We used to wheel our 'guy' around in an old pram yelling out 'Penny for the Guy'. Of course we were looking for sixpences and shillings but 'penny for the guy' was a traditional thing.

Kids don't do that now which in a way is a shame with a tradition disappearing. I suppose it has been replaced by Halloween now. More bloody American culture replacing the British that we grew up with.

With the money we made the standard items we bought were bangers.

Anything that could make a lot of noise and that we could throw at one another was the thing.
The standard purchase was the Double Happy.

This made a decent bang and could (just) be held in the tips of the fingers without actually losing a digit. It hurt and there was the occasional loosening of a nail but it was OK, certainly stronger than the Tom Thumb which was a bit lame. The 'mother' of all bangers was the Mighty Cannon. This was about 5 times bigger than the Double Happy and had a fuse protruding from the side instead of the end. Binding a half dozen of these together could result in a very decent bang and, with enough 'baffling' could do some damage to our preferred target - the letterbox.

For the actual night of the 5th November we would buy the colourful stuff. Mum would like the Roman Candles and the little pot fireworks like Egmont, Vesuvius, Emerald Fire, Floral Bouquet etc but these were a bit tame. Jumping Jacks, Catherine Wheels and sky rockets were our thing.
Obviously firing them at each other was not allowed (or at least when our parents were watching). I remember setting fire to my sister when I fired a small skyrocket at her. It burnt her wooly jumper and I got hell for that.

Later, when I was older, skyrockets were what I spent my money on. Bangers were later to be banned but manufacturers and importers concentrated on skyrockets and their kind that made bangs. When I lived on a farm in Papatoetoe we made a big bonfire each year and I would spend a couple of hundred dollars on skyrockets. This was in the 1980's so I hate to think how much this is in 2011 figures. What a waste.

Nowadays I think the whole thing is dumb. The risk of fire is even higher than it used to be with the higher use of flying flaming things than before. The power of these is greater and can lead to more accidents and the use of them is becoming less discriminate.

I think most of all though that the connection with past history has been lost, kind of the way Easter, Christmas and New Years has. With luck this may be rejuvenated so these events don't just become commercial sales sprees but I doubt it. Its more likely we will end up celebrating more American events like 4th July, Thanksgiving and bloody 9/11.

AND ANOTHER DAY OLDER .......

2011-11-05T11:25:00.001+13:00

I started full-time work again this week. Man, what a shock to the system this has been. Up at the crack of dawn (well, 7AM anyway). Off to the place of work at 8 AM. Incarceration until 5.30PM. Home, exhausted and bed by 10PM. This is seriously different to what I have been used to for the last two years.
On Monday morning I arrived to find that the temporary person who was filling in my position for the last month was doing her last day there and was going to 'induct' me on that one day.
There was a mountain of paperwork to be actioned relating to the hundred or so activities that were all deemed to be urgent.

For some reason, the three export container orders that they had to process, and had been sitting on for three months, all had to be done the week I started. Murphy was well and truly in action as: the paperwork to date was wrong; the labels printed in Chinese script were incorrect; the same labels were also supplied in the wrong quantity; the production people put the wrong labels on wrong bottles; once corrected they put the wrong bottles in the wrong cases; they then packed one lot of Chinese order into the container for an order for a different region of China; the customs people supplied the wrong information; the export documents were subsequently wrong and all had to be re-done (twice); no-one had been able to decipher what the Russian customs people wanted by way of labelling and export documentation. All this and small wineshops in New Zealand were asking where their orders of 3 cases of wine were. Sales staff were wanting product information, pricing and samples. External providers were wanting to re-do the website. Publication companies were asking where advertising copy was etc.etc. And, all this was directed at me who had just bloody started!

Russian customs vary the rules to suit the amount of revenue they can screw out of you

And I've mentioned before of my dislike of Customs people:

Here: http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2010/11/uncustomary-behaviour.html

And here: http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2010/11/welcome-to-america.html

New Zealand agencies triplicate documentation requirements seemingly to keep themselves in employment

And they all demand urgent action on processing all this stuff just so they can pile it somewhere never to look at again

While arranging one shipment I noticed that the shipping company had a name that I recognised. With luck the shipment will go off overseas like this:

and not like this:

As this company ~~operates~~ operated the Rena.

All in all it has been a hectic week and I am exhausted. I have been a glorified shipping clerk and had no time to do any 'marketing'. We left Auckland at 5PM last night and got up here shortly after 7 to enjoy a relaxing weekend before heading back Sunday night to do battle once again.
Bugger!

FRIDAY MAY 24 1968

2011-10-29T12:01:00.000+13:00

Location: Inangahua
Date (NZ Standard Time): Friday, May 24 1968 at 5:24 am
Epicentre: 41.76°S, 172.04°E
Focal Depth: 12 km
Maximum Intensity: MM 10
Magnitude: M_W 7.1
Casualties: 2 killed
GeoNet Summary:DetailsMapsShaking MapsMost of New Zealand felt the earthquake that struck the town of Inangahua in 1968. It was centred about 15 km north of Inangahua, but intensities of MM 4 and greater were recorded as far south as Otago and in almost all of the North Island, with the exception of areas in the north-east. Close to Inangahua, where intensities reached at least MM 10, the quake caused widespread destruction. Fortunately, the area’s small population meant casualties were minor, but most structures, including wooden houses, roads and bridges, suffered extensive damage in the quake. Underground pipes broke under the strain, and railway lines twisted and buckled, derailing two trains. One hundred kilometres of track later had to be replaced.The quake also triggered large landslides in the surrounding slopes, one of which claimed the lives of two people. Inangahua and Westport were evacuated when another massive slip dammed the Buller River, raising the river 30 m above its normal level, causing fears that a sudden failure of the dam would flood these downstream settlements. Due to the number of roads and bridges that had collapsed or been blocked in the quake, including the newly constructed Buller Gorge Highway, 235 people had to be airlifted to safety.Numerous aftershocks followed the quake, including 15 that were magnitude 5 or greater and occurred within a month of the initial shock.

I remember this day. At the time, in my lifetime this was the strongest New Zealand earthquake. We felt it in Vogeltown, Wellington where I was living. The images in the Evening Post that day and The Dominion the next were disturbing: A car fallen into a hole in the road; twisted railway tracks; roads subsided; bridges damaged; waterpipes broken; and three people dead.

We were used to earthquakes at this time. At school we had earthquake drill in primary and intermediate school. I don't remember having them at secondary school but I do remember, at St Patrick's college in the 5th form (1968 as well), an earthquake striking during the day and the prefab classroom we were in bucking and bouncing, scattering books, desks and students everywhere including I'm pleased to say the sarcastic English- teaching priest who had make fun of my précis of "The Admirable Crichton" when I said that one of the characters cracked epigrams. There was a continual flurry of earthquakes in Wellington through the 1960's and early 1970's kind of like what Canterbury is experiencing now. We got to know the signs. I vividly remember on day, at home when all the birds in the tress fell silent. The chickens in our henhouse stopped their clucking. The cats and our dog disappeared and then I heard a roaring sound. Our house was in a street that ran down towards Berhampore with a view right down to Island Bay.

Standing at the roadside looking downhill I could see the road rippling like a wave coming toward me. It was kind of like someone grabbing a long, narrow bit of carpet and, holding it at one end, flicking it to send a rolling ripple all the way along. I stood transfixed until around me the ground shook and I could hear the house banging and bumping. It was scary.
A couple of years later, in Taranaki Street where my parents lived in an apartment atop a small 3-storey brick and concrete building, I remember one early evening when an earthquake struck that one of the walls was actually moving outwards as the building was swaying. Instead of just crumbling the bricks and the mortar holding them together had some kind of elasticity that allowed them to bend rather than shatter. I truly believe that we were lucky as if the intensity had been greater I'm sure that the wall would have collapsed carrying away my mother and sister who were sitting on a couch placed against it.

I truly feel for the Christchurch residents. Not only have they had their lives shattered by the two main earthquakes but the continual worry from on-going quakes must be a nightmare.

HEY TEACHERS .....

2011-10-29T10:02:00.000+13:00

...... you could all make fortunes in USA pedalling out rubbish like this:

http://nz.lifestyle.yahoo.com/general/features/article/-/10893826/does-he-love-you/

When I used to go to overseas conferences with the wine company I worked for that had been taken over by a big American conglomerate, they used to have' key-note' speakers like the jerk in this article, who, having just released some guru-type twaddle that got featured on Oprah, Letterman or the other waste-of-space television media, would be invited to the conference to expound on it. A free book came with the excruciating two hour presentation (the last one I went to I didn't bother attending and went for a walk instead going to the auditorium at the lunch break). The worst of these was Bruce Jenner the ex-Olympian who gave a 'motivational' talk. He was like a bo-toxed version of John Key.

Ooops, sorry, wrong one ....

Nope, wrong one .....

Found it.

NOW I'M SURE

2011-10-28T21:57:00.000+13:00

I have to admit that I haven't had as strong a commitment to voting for Labour this election as I have in the past. This by no means is an indication that I favour Mr shonkey John Key though

who resembles a shark more and more as time goes on.

The Old Girl reckons this is because of his 'dead eyes' and I think that she has something there. Sincerity, assuming there is any and I don't, just cannot shine through.

Tonight's election opening addresses on TV One was quite telling. National's was all about Key whether by the endless film clips of him with various dignitaries or him standing in front of an audience pretending to be the driver of the recent and planned changes that this government have in for us. The trouble is that he doesn't engage well with those eyes staring fixedly at a potential next victim. There is no warmth.

Labour's video presentation was impressive. I feel that they created a positive link between the solutions to the problems in the past and an intention to continue to strive to improve the quality of life for the majority of New Zealanders. Downplaying Goff, whether deliberately as the coup advocates believe, or because they choose (sensibly) to not make this an ego-trip for the leader as National is doing, seems to work. (Are they setting young Stuart Nash up to be future leader?).

The Greens came across as being well intentioned but ineffectual. Certainly not to be trusted with the silverware.

I have been believing over the last few years that there is not a great deal of difference between National and Labour in their ability to run the country. National, allowing boofhead Key to dominate has certainly changed my thinking now. I will vote Labour again with great confidence knowing that they are serious and not cartoon characters.

REMEMBER THESE?

2011-10-28T18:54:00.000+13:00

The laughing clowns that were a game of 'skill' at fairgrounds when we were young. The clowns (several in a row) swivelled from side to side. You put a ping-pong ball in its mouth which went down and travelled out of a tube behind him to bobble and bounce through a maze and would be channelled down to a possible prize-winning capture point. It was obviously 'doctored' so that only minor prizes could be won but it was fun trying after giving up a shilling for a couple of balls.

I was reminded of this when making a comment on TSB's blog and was looking for images of scary dolls See here: http://twistedscottishbastard.blogspot.com/2011/10/dolls.html#more

"I WASN'T ORIGINALLY A BASS PLAYER.I JUST FOUND OUT I WAS NEEDED BECAUSE EVERYONE WANTS TO PLAY GUITAR" - Tina Weymouth

2011-10-28T13:23:00.001+13:00

Richard of RBB posted a nice image of a bass player in his latest post.

He also has a great poster for his next gig with brother Chris which I assume his daughter created

This got me searching for other bass art images. Here are some (note some are not double basses but are interesting):

LITERAL

CLASSICAL

IMPRESSIONIST

NAIVE

MODERN

CUBIST

MURAL

SWEET

VULGAR

PSYCHEDELIC

POLITICALLY INCORRECT

WEIRD

PRACTICAL

BIZARRE

IF ONLY SHE WAS A BASS PLAYER

FUNNY THINGS ......

2011-10-27T19:03:00.002+13:00

........................ we accumulate.
I'm packing up a few things that we need to take to Auckland, not much as we fully intend to leave our Northland house fully equipped and will try to live minimistically in Auckland during the week.
In the bathroom, while putting things in a travel bag I stopped to look at this:

It is our toothbrush holder and is a ceramic modelled on the torso of a voluptuous woman wearing a rather risqué something or other (I don't go much in for sexy lingerie - I prefer my women naked).
I looked at it for a while as if seeing it for the first time. It seems to have always been there and I have taken it for granted, putting it in the dishwasher when needed and twice or three times a day sticking my toothbrush in it (steady - ed.). Looking at the base I now notice that is named "The Cozzie" and is signed by Freya Posey and has an Australian stamp on it. A quick search on the internet was not enlightening (one must be careful when typing in voluptuous woman's torso in lingerie as the results can be quite an eyeful) so I cast my mind back and I think that we bought it in an arts and craft store in Newtown, Sydney many years ago. I'll have to ask The Old Girl as she has a much better memory than I have.

GETTING IN PRACTICE

2011-10-26T10:43:00.002+13:00

I start work full-time again next week so have been practising going to bed early (well before 11PM) and getting up at 6.30AM. Its a bit of a fankle but I've just about mastered it.

The trouble is that after a couple of months of crappy weather it has now turned out really nice up here.

This is the view from the bedroom window this morning:

It hardly inspires me to pack up and move to Auckland.

DUM DE DUM

2011-10-25T20:32:00.001+13:00

Inspired by:

http://ondemand.tv3.co.nz/Target-Season-13-Ep-27/tabid/59/articleID/4529/MCat/21/Default.aspx

And Nuova Lazio indiscriminate traffic ticketing.

Lower Hutt City Council Traffic Fines Department after hours telephone contact officer: "Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring Ring ring ring ....."

Richard (of RBB) 's residence: "Dum de dum de dum de dum (some unbelievably boring noise for about 20 seconds - ed) .. we'e not here right now, leave a message .... dun de dum de dum..."

Lower Hutt City Council Traffic Fines Department After Hours Telephone Contact Officer: "Hello. Hello. Hello. Damn it. They're never fucki... Oh, hello. its Officer Dmitri Petrokonovich here from the Lower Hutt City Council Traffic Fines Department after hours Department. I'm your Lower Hutt City Council Traffic Fines Department after hours telephone contact officer. (Oh fuck it, see :
http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2011/09/aaaaa.html

and now, after typing out all this I'm happy to acronymise it to LHCCTFDAHTCO- ed). You haven't paid your traffic fines and I'm calling you to advise that if you cannot give me a credit number authorisation for you fines immediately then we will proceed with court action."

Richard of RBB: "Whaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: " I said that as you have accumulated a significant number of traffic fines we are now going to take court action unles you give me your credit card details immediately and clear the fines thus saving all of us a lot of unnecessary trouble."

Richard of RBB: "Whaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: " Are you Richard (of RBB) residing at 10075 PineTree Falling Place Nuova Lazio?"

Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh, yes ..whaaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: "And are you the owner of a 2008 McLaren F1, blue coloured with the registration number FKURINGO?

Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh! No, whaaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: "And my records show that you have accumulated 127 parking infringement notices in and around Nuava Lazio shopping mall parked most often on the handicapped reserved parking area outside of the Pink Pussy Gentleman's Speciality Entertainment Club"

Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh! No, whaaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: "And furthermore our traffic speed cameras have recorded you travelling at excess of 287 kilometres per hour on several occasions all of which have been travelling away from Nuava Lazio High School"

Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh! No, whaaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: "And our roving traffic patrols have recoreded you as holding up traffic on at least 75 times in the morning because you have been travelling at less than 15 kilometers per hour . On all of these occasions you have been travelling towards Nuava Lazio High School"

Richard of RBB: "Whaa? Oh! No, whaaa?"

LHCCTFDAHTCO: " Have you anything to say about this?"

Richard of RBB: "Wh...... no, its a fair cop. How much do you want?"

SAVED!

2011-10-25T18:58:00.000+13:00

Well the peely wally wee jock visitors have gone. We had another wonderful weekend. Our friends are very generous. Everytime that they visit they seem to think that they are part of the Berlin blockade relief force.

Obviously they perceive Whangarei Heads as being so far at the back of beyond that they bring every manner of supply with them.

They are like the Red Cross arriving in the nick of time to save us. I'm not kidding. They are not like the normal visitors who bring some bread, a bottle or two of wine, some treats and some sausages for the BBQ. No, these visitors, this weekend, brought: a whole beef fillet; a gourmet butterflied fillet of lamb; a delicatessen smoked salmon fillet; 3 different types of expensive butcher's sausages; 3 different styled packs of delicatessen bacon; cream; vegetables; tomatoes; potatoes; butter; milk; chocolate; beer; soft-drinks; biscuits; potato chips; cheese; and, (like coals to Newcastle), 8 bottles of wine! Well, you would think that they are scared that we will feed them gruel or some vile microwave instant meals or something. In the past when we have had them at Christmas times we have stocked up on hams, turkeys,
lamb fillets, salmon etc only to find that Snap ....

.... they have brought the same. This weekend we did a really big shop but were cautious about what we bought. We did get a butcher to 'butterfly' a lamb roast, bought chicken fillets and gourmet sausages along with all the fancy trimmings but kind of expected/feared that the C- 54's would arrive with supplies. And they did, as usual. They explain it as liking to bring goodies because they have such a good time in a relaxing setting. OK.

So, from Friday afternoon to Monday afternoon we dined sumptuously, drank copiously, played delightfully (snooker, cards, bush walks) and watched the two rugby games. Good friends and good memories.

IT WAS ONLY A SIMPLE PENALTY KICK

2011-10-25T14:26:00.002+13:00

Sometimes our media just get too carried away and whip up frenzy among the simple minded public. Stephen Donald came on late in the RWC final, performed adequately as is expected in rugby at this level and kicked a relatively easy penalty kick that Weepu probably would have as well. Now we get all this hype about Donald being a hero that saved the day etc. Well excuse me but a penalty kick is worth 3 points and a try is worth 5 points so in my view it is Woodcock scoring the All Black's only try who should be lauded much more than Donald.

Now if Donald's kick had been something like this one then it would be worth all the talk
See :

Bizarre Rugby Penalty Kick

A BOX OF BIRDS

2011-10-24T08:39:00.000+13:00

A box of birds

That Kiwi expression is very apt this morning as New Zealanders all over the country will be cheerful and in good spirit.

Not a good day for roosters though.

No doubt we will be seeing a lot more of the silver fern flag flying. This was interesting seeing the black flag with the silver fern being waved more than the actual nNew Zealand flag. Is this significant? I think so. For a long time now there has been discussion about changing the flag to something more unique and representative of the country. I'm for that but don't like the black imagery as I don't believe that black defines us as a fresh new place in the Pacific. I'd like to see something along these lines:

Anyway, the win, played with great spirit and the French rising to the occasion so well and creating the nail biting tension of the last few minutes (thank that mythical being that the play was in the French half for the last few minutes) will give the country a real shot in the arm in confidence and hopefully community spirit. Well done those men!

SEEING THE B-B-B-B-B-BIRD BIRD BIRDS

2011-10-23T16:54:00.002+13:00

Following old Richard's example I went hiking today. In New Zealand we usually say 'tramping' but to be fair it was an easy walk and so more like a hike. Around where we live there are lots of bush and marine reserves to choose from. Today we went to Bream Head reserve with some friends who are staying with us for the long weekend. They are Scottish and had peely wally legs. They have been in New Zealand for about 8 years so their skin, once blue is now nearing white so there is some improvement.
We did the Smuggler's Bay/Busby Head walk which is pretty easy but just the thing for people who have had too much wine the night before.

The views of the harbour on one side and the open sea on the other looking out past the Hen and Chicken islands are spectacular. Smuggler's Bay is where contraband (alcohol and tobacco) used to be illegally landed in the nineteenth century. I always imagine finding a crate of old whisky in a sand dune here.

At the top of the Busby Head walk you can look down one side at Frenchman's Island which has a cavern inside and a big door on it like something out of Tolkien. Smugglers used this as an observation post.

On the other side looking out East you can imagine where The Niagara blew up and sunk after hitting the German mine in WWII.

This walk goes through lots of light bush and little cabbage tree plantations. Birds like Kereru (wood pigeon), Tui and Fantails fly in and out of the trees. Every time I saw one I would sing "B-b-b-b-b-bird bird bird, do the bird.." See:

http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=7619654581009531930&postID=2577183690146496993

for which I would receive a punch on the arm. Oh what fun.

Trashman Bird is the word Live 1963 год

2011-10-23T10:41:00.001+13:00

I've been driving The Old Girl crazy this morning playing this over and over. She has threatened to lock me out of the house. I can't figure out why.

SUNDAY MORNING

2011-10-23T09:49:00.000+13:00

"LOOK OUT ITS GETTING CROWDED IN THERE"

2011-10-22T10:03:00.000+13:00

Oh, oh, its happening again. Richard (of RBB) is using his old alter - egos again and, disturbingly, some new ones.

We explored the problem earlier:

http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=7619654581009531930&postID=4746397140683097999

and after that things seemed to quieten down a bit. Admittedly our subject didn't delete his alter-egos but he did leave them dormant for some time.
I was concerned enough to phone him earlier in the week to enquire as to how he was doing. He wasn't home when I called and I was diverted to an answering device that had the most disturbing sounds imaginable on it. Beneath a low, rumbling, strumming sound came an ethereal voice that said "We cannot come to the phone right now ..." WE? The hairs at the back of my neck rose and I had a bad feeling.
I left a message and thought about the significance of this for a while until he called back. Trying to keep the conversation initially at banter level I eventually brought in the topic of blogs. He said "We haven't been keeping our blogging level up recently as our bass practice is placing a burden on us" WE, OUR, US? This was of concern.Knowing that his head is full of personalities all dangerously vying for attention I decided to mention the seemingly most innocuous one - Anselme.

http://theveryslowblog.blogspot.com/

Richard (for at this stage it was still Richard (of RBB) who was dominant went on a long dialogue of how Anselme was his friend (he said freund), lived in Germany, played in some sort of orchestra that frequented cafes, grew tomatoes and lived a quiet peaceful life. I couldn't help thinking that there was a lot of wishful thinking going on here and that this "Anselme' was the ego Richard would like to be to escape the manic and aberrant activities of his others. Not wishing to alarm him I pretended to agree that 'Anselme' was real and was a thoroughly good fellow. I confessed to having left a 'Fuck!' comment on 'Anselme's' blog and apologised for my rudeness and said I would remove it which I subsequently did. This seemed to please the old guy and as he was calm thought that this was a good time to end the conversation.
I think that we, as the bus station blogging community should consider an intervention. Perhaps we could get someone to dress up as the fictionalised 'Anselme' to lull him into a feeling of security. Does anyone know of a tall, bald man?

BUT ITS SOOO REFRESHING!

2011-10-21T17:27:00.001+13:00

No doubt you've seen the television advertisements for the new Smirnoff vodka and cranberry juice in the 2 litre 'convenient' packaging.

What fun. This 6.4% alcohol (stronger than the average export lager) mixture of vodka and cranberry juice has been described by top shelfliquor.co.nz as having no bubbles to cause a bloating effect later in the night so that you can drink more of it. The lack of carbonation is also said to make it quite a light liquid which goes down very smoothly. It has been described as being like a raspberry cordial and you really can't taste the vodka! Right. Who is the target market for this then do you think? Adults? Women in their 20's who, having been brought up watching Sex in the City and the fancy women drinking Cosmopolitans (vodka and cranberry cocktails) aspire to be sophisticated and gorgeous? No. It is no doubt pitched at the young girls who want to party and who cannot afford to buy vodka cocktails or glasses of Chardonnay.

This 2 litre monstrosity costs $19.00. If we assume that a normal size glass is about a hundred ml then there are 20 glasses of this in the box, more than enough to get bladdered on.

or worse,

Thanks Mr Smirnoff.

At least Drinkwise, the alcohol watch dog in Australia is annoyed at this product. See:

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/anger-at-two-litre-vodka-box/story-e6frf7l6-1225913500535

But, as they say, its all about profit.

HEY TEACHER!

2011-10-20T22:09:00.000+13:00

"Oh, puns, we (teachers) don't do puns. We do twisted cynicism, obvious and blatant slurs, idiosyncratic eponyms, and even straight-in-your-face insults. But we don't do puns."

Said TSB

It reminds me of this song...........

BRANDED

2011-10-20T11:27:00.002+13:00

Does anyone remember the 60's TV series Branded where Chuck ~~Norris~~ Connors was unfairly labelled a coward and drummed out of the army?

Anyway that was my experience today. Not to be branded as a coward but there were aspersions cast on my cleaning abilities. The Old Girl is having a few days holiday and, as she does, checked up on a few things around the house. She actually looked under things and looked up above eye level. Horror of horrors she discovered dust and cobwebs. After a lambasting, in the middle of which I went out and used the weedeater again so am now a bit shaky see: http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2011/10/thththe-pppppost-mmmmmust-gggget.html
she telephoned the woman who is the tenant of the other McLeod Bay house we used to own and arranged for her to come in once a week to do some basic housework. Now I know how poor old Chuck felt.

REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE

2011-10-20T10:39:00.000+13:00

Second Fiddle has taken up painting and not the door surrounds which he should be doing. No, he has discovered oil painting and is actually quite good at it see here:

http://petonepoet.blogspot.com/

His depiction of the people on the wharf here:

reminds me of Lowry:

an English painter who I have long admired (I have some nice tea mugs with his illustrations on them.

Keep up the good work Second and when you build up a portfolio I'd consider buying one.

BLIND AND MUNTED

2011-10-19T15:32:00.000+13:00

GOING, GONE, GONE.

2011-10-19T15:00:00.000+13:00

The Old Girl bid at auction today for a 2 bedroom apartment in the same building as the one bedroom one we own. She went to $270k, our predetermined limit but the apartment went for $310k. This was an outstanding price as we calculated that the mortgage on $270k would be $480 per week plus rates and body corporate fees with a possible rental income of $480 per week. At $310k the mortgage would be $550 plus the fees so the equation is not really viable. We are not concerned at missing out on the apartment as it suggests that our one bedroom one is probably worth more than we thought and we now know that the bank are happy to lend us $270k which they approved yesterday.

We have rented a town house in Westmere and will wait for opportunities for another apartment. As 'cash' buyers we should be in a good position to buy something that someone wants a quick sale of.

GOOD SAMARITANS?

2011-10-18T17:44:00.000+13:00

I eventually withdrew from the China project because of the delays and took a job in Auckland.
Looking at this news report reinforces the correctness of my decision.

SUNSHINE

2011-10-18T10:32:00.002+13:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=oXvJ8UquYoo&vq=large

BANKS, BUGS, BOTHER AND BORGIAS

2011-10-17T14:57:00.000+13:00

I'm at home today, having a day off.
That's a little joke as I have every day off but never-mind that is soon to change.

I am a bit crook today with symptoms of food poisoning. This is strange as yesterday I only ate the same things that the Old girl ate. Maybe she is putting powdered glass or poison in my food after all. Hey! She watched The Borgias last week! Perhaps she got some ideas and didn't like it that I fancy Joanne Whalley.

Oh well. I have been busy though. We are considering bidding at auction on Wednesday for a two bedroom, larger apartment in the same building where we have the one bedroom one. The advantage is that if we don't rent both out we can live in the 2 bedroom one. It also comes with two carparks which is a valuable consideration in central Auckland. The bank wants proof of earnings and assets etc. so I have been battling with the bloody scanners here at home. We have 4 of the damn things and none work properly. I hate these modern electronic machines. They are all flimsy and temperamental. See:

http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2011/07/printer-problems-read-description.html

I think that they misspelled Brother when they launched it. They really meant Bother.

XTC-Dear God

2011-10-15T10:44:00.000+13:00

"YOU ARE BECOMING DISGUSTING IN YOUR OLD AGE" ....

2011-10-15T10:35:00.000+13:00

...... said The Old Girl to me this morning as I was heading out for an early morning walk around the bays.
She indicated the T - shirt that I was wearing. The powder blue colour wasn't the object of her derision but the tea stains and remnants of last night's chicken curry were.

"I'm not going to the bloody opera" I remonstrated to no avail as I was ordered back inside to put on a clean navy blue shirt. The shorts (that I had fished out of the washing basket) fortunately went unnoticed.
I was tempted to don a dinner suit and say "there, will that do" but remembered Twisted Scottish Bastard's recent posts of domestic (dis) harmony and ensuing sub-zero atmosphere and held my tongue.

Dinner suit. And not named because it is covered in last night's dinner.

Living out in the sticks has totally changed the way that I dress. Shorts and T-shirt is the norm whether gardening, golfing, kayaking, walking and, when the Old Girl is not around, going ito town to do the shopping or other business.
Moving back to Auckland no doubt will change this back to how I dressed before but I am keen to moderate the change. Business shirt and trousers will, hopefully, be chinos and open necked checkered shirt. Shoes will be loafers and ties will be what, in a pinch, keeps the trousers up.

THTHTHE PPPPPOST MMMMMUST GGGGET THTHTHTHROUGH

2011-10-14T11:53:00.001+13:00

The Old Girl asked me to cut a path through the grass to the washing line the other day

I took that as a not so subtle hint to do the ~~lawn~~ ~~grass~~ weeds around the property. I started to run out of excuses like "but the weedeater has no cutting lines", "there is no petrol" and even a plea that the daily blogs have to be attended to fell on deaf ears.

"Sorry, can't stop, I've got to get my posts done"

Having left it for another week today I had no excuse as the weather brightened up after a few weeks of wind and rain. I got out the weedeater (full of petrol and cutting lines) and set to. Now cutting ~~lawns grass~~ weeds that are nearly knee high with a hand held weedeeater is bloody hard work. After an hour and a half of this I felt as if I had St Vitus Dance. Going inside (because mercifully it started to rain again), when I made a cup of coffee I could hardly hold it without spilling it as the muscles in my hands and arms were jumping.

Even typing this now is difficult. It reminds me of when I was young and on a building site operating a kanga hammer (pneumatic drill).

OVER THE TOP

2011-10-11T23:06:00.000+13:00

A recent post by Tracy on her blog Petone Ponderings here:

http://petoneponderings.blogspot.com/2011/10/stupid-facebook-stuff.html

reminded me of the insidious influence that media, social or otherwise, is having on our children.
I watched that execrable programme on TV3 tonight, Target , the one that gains viewership by tantalising them at the prospect of a tradesman sniffing the house owners panties. Along with a ridiculous segment of a dog-owners problems with a pet kennel that should have been better handled by the small claims procedure and not viewed on prime-time national television, and a boring (and stacked) 'consumer study' on chocolate-chip' biscuits, Target did a sting on retailers selling R18 video-games to underage consumers. The study was disturbing where the retail staff, in numbers, seemed to think that there was nothing wrong with selling these.
Now I am not a prude (and I have said this enough in my posts and comments to be resonant) but the content of some of the Play Station games that I have does make me wonder if parents are aware of what their precious little charges are watching.

I am not too concerned if Lara Croft shows a bit of nipple occasionally.

She does, after all dip in extremely cold water in underground caves and is ever alert to danger but I do wonder at the need to see her, at the end of an adventure, luxuriating semi-naked in a 'fuck me' pose.

Grand Theft Auto has always been controversial and Grand Theft Auto IV was banned in some countries and severely restricted in others.

Why? Perhaps it was the options of killing policemen, raping hookers and generally making mayhem. is this wrong? Ask the makers.

Sex in videos is becoming more and more prevalent and I'm sure that the average 12 year old is viewing and playing stuff that their parents would be horrified at. I mentioned in an earlier post that when I was playing a PS3 game Mafia II (yes I play them too), I was surprised at a link scene where fellatio was involved.

Kids I guess, when the parents enter the room, have learned to quickly change the scene on the screen (not unlike the way we used to hide the girlie-magazines under the covers) when sex is involved but I bet you that when it is a scene of violence they don't bother. The same or worse is showed on prime-time TV. This is why crap like this ....

... gets watched and played by kids. See a link between this and playground violence?

Get ready parents there is worse to come.

AAAAAAAARRRRGH!

2011-10-11T22:11:00.000+13:00

..... Fuck! I'm bloody sick of it. Idiots who confuse Mathematics with Arithmetic.

Here is a simple distinction stolen from Mathmedia Educational software ....

a·rith·me·tic(1) the branch of mathematics that deals with addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division,(2) the use of numbers in calculations

math·e·mat·ics(1) the study of the relationships among numbers, shapes, and quantities,(2) it uses signs, symbols, and proofs and includes arithmetic, algebra, calculus, geometry, and trigonometry.

.... which is OK but it defers to the American belief that arithmetic is a branch of mathematics. Admittedly mathematics requires an understanding of the principles of arithmetic but arithmetic does not need mathematics in order to exist in logic.

I get really annoyed at hearing that American expression 'Do the math" when they really mean add up or arithmetic.
Tonight on Target on TV 3 the silly bint who fronts it, when referring to the inability of a shop assistant to subtract some numbers said " It's simple maths really". Well, really!

EMASCULATED

2011-10-08T19:51:00.000+13:00

I remember when I was young, and before sports were televised as much as they are today, that when the All Blacks were playing in South Africa or the UK we used to stay up and listen to the games on the radio.

Because major TV networks hadn't evolved and the game was still not professional, the games start times hadn't been manipulated to fit TV scheduling, and night games were not de rigueur yet. Sitting up and listening at anytime between midnight and 6AM on a Sunday morning was the norm and made for being very tired the next day.

I was reminded of this tonight as the Wales vs Ireland game was on in the early evening. Good news that.

Bad news though was that Strictly Come Dancing was on TV between 6.30 and 8.15. Worse bad news is that the Old Girl is home and is an avid watcher of Strictly Come Dancing. What to do? The second TV at the other end of the house is mainly used for Play Station and doesn't get much reception for any channel let alone Maori TV. The answer was the radio providing a quite different experience and as said, taking me back to the 1960's and early 1970's.

I imagine that this scenario was played out in many homes around the country and this sign should have been put on the TV room door.

HOME ALONE

2011-10-08T16:19:00.000+13:00

"You're weird" said the Old Girl, not for the first time.
We were discussing staying in other peoples houses as next week when she goes to Auckland she will be staying with friends as we have rented out our apartment for a couple of weeks. I suggested that she stay in a hotel which elicited the above response.
I feel uncomfortable staying in other people's houses and, in the past, if attending weddings or funerals in other places would choose to stay in a nearby motel. I just like my own space and, it seems that I am not alone. See:

http://introvertzone.com/i-hate-to-spend-the-night-at-other-peoples-houses

I told the Old Girl that I know many people who think like I do including Richard (of RBB).
She responded by saying that Richard likes to have his own toilet with him and we surmised what he would take with him on a road trip and agreed on this:

Richard's caravan

I further suggested that he could go equipped thus:

LAST CHANCE

2011-10-08T11:56:00.001+13:00

Twisted Scottish Bastard (TSB) may be selling his house soon and will need assistance in finding another. See:

http://twistedscottishbastard.blogspot.com/2011/10/plague-of-estate-agents.html

As I am about to abandon my real estate career in favour of another I thought that I would take one last chance and help him using the skills taught me.

Everyone loves a place by the sea. While away those carefree hours looking out at the water thinking: "should I go fishing today or maybe a swim?" Enjoy your own, and ever changing view of the coastline. Be quick or this offer will ~~drift past~~ pass you by.

Tired of that long drive to link roads? Stuck in traffic lines at roundabouts and traffic lights? Wouldn't you just love to be able to be able to zoom into town or to work? Here's your chance. An airy bungalow with immediate access to a motorway. Conveniently located below the traffic to keep traffic noise at a minimum and with interesting water views. Phone now...

Serenity serenity serenity. Are you looking for peace and quiet? Fed up with noisy neighbours? Don't wait as life is too short. Come for a viewing. Phone ....

Looking for something different? Have things got on top of you? Here's your chance to reverse your fortune. Owner keen to sell due to a changed outlook on life. Be quick.

Sick of that frantic dash to the airport when you travel? Does the thought of that long drive home after arriving back after a long flight bother you? Well just look at this. Conveniently located just minutes from the airport this inner city haven allows you to actually see your plane arriving......

Are you a Do It Yourself enthusiast? Here's a chance to put your stamp on this property that needs a little tender loving care. With a bit of vision and bags of energy this lovely ~~5, 4, 3, 6~~ ... whatever bedroom family home can be yours for a song. Tune up those vocal chords and call .....

GETTING REAL

2011-10-06T15:37:00.000+13:00

The good news about having taken a job in Auckland is that I will be earning some decent money again and contributing to the family finances.
The obvious bad news is having to move away from the idyllic location we currently live in. Sure we will still have the house but at best will probably only get back here every second weekend. We will have to make sure that we don't let it stretch out beyond that.
The apartment in Auckland is great for a few days visit or The Old Girl on her own using it during the week but the two of us with lots of our stuff living there all the time will be too much of a challenge.

And then there is the cat who will need a place to go do do her business

so we will look for a townhouse with a small garden to rent.

With renting out our apartment the differential won't be too great.

The interesting thing I've discovered with renting vs. buying in the Auckland inner city area is that as rentals are at a premium it may be cheaper or at least not much more costly to buy another property. The weekly mortgage on a $300k two bedroom property is the same as the weekly rental of a townhouse or cottage. I will put my real estate agent hat on and have a look around at this.

Whatever we decide to do a task that is looming and which I dread is the physical move. Its less than two years since we did this last.

LES MISERABLES AND HIS BAND OF SAD BUGGERS

2011-10-03T19:32:00.000+13:00

OK, that's a little joke that I have for a long time wanted to make. Ahem. Moving on.......

The recent protests in Europe, particularly in Greece and the more recent attempted occupation of the Brooklyn Bridge should make everyone sit up and take notice. In fact, ignore them at your peril you greedy bankers

and you double dealing REAL ESTATE vultures

(There are no zealots like the recently converted).

I think that we are seeing something, in our lifetimes, that is groundbreaking.
Sure, the Greeks and the Italians, the Spaniards and the French take to the streets but we are used to that (hot-blooded you know), and even the POM's have got a bit antsy recently ....

..... but the Americans? In New York? Down Wall Street?
Hold onto your hat. We aint seen nuthing yet! (We haven't seen anything yet)

FUCKING WALLIES

2011-10-03T19:17:00.000+13:00

Sorry about the quality of this quick post (I was in the middle of writing another and have saved - hopefully - that to draft) but I heard the TV - Close Up - in the background with a panel of bleating woofters bemoaning the fact that Dan Carter has had to pull out of the World Cup Rugby. Boo Hoo. He's a damn good player but..... these idiots were talking about New Zealand going into a period of GRIEVING. Fuck!. They even had a bloody psychologist on the panel. What the fuck? Are we that bloody weak in New Zealand or is this a very (very, very) clever and orchestrated plot to make the Australians and those bloody awful English think that they have the upper hand? Unfortunately I think not. I love New Zealand (said in a blubbering tone) but sometimes ..... well ..... we are a nation of idiots.
I heard on the news earlier that the community around where Dan's family live are "rallying around to support" them. What? Their son earns bloody millions throwing a ball around. Get real New Zealand.

And I thought we couldn't get any more stupid than this

BLOODY AUSSIES

2011-10-02T23:36:00.000+13:00

I hate rugby League. It annoys the hell out of me - the brash and vulgar commentators (even worse than the Rugby ones), the stupid and repetitive play with tackle after tackle leading to the (planned for) and inevitable kick. Boring. Unfortunately the new game plays are making Rugby just as boring. Predictable. The randomness and excitement is disappearing.
I didn't always hate Rugby League. I played it for Marist as a kid before I played Soccer. The great Colin O'Neill (once captain of the Kiwis) was my coach. I was quite good at it but the stupid fucking Marist Brothers school wouldn't let us play League - we had to play Soccer or Rugby. Weird that since it was Marist I was playing for. I was brought up in a working class family and Rugby League was a working class sport. We played against teams with names such as St George and Watersiders.
It was in the late 1980's when Australian Rugby League began to be televised and shown ad nauseam here. The fun went out of it for me with the stupid team names, the thuggish behaviour and the incredibly thick commentaries being a real turn off.

Somewhere along the line Rugby seems to have picked up much of the bad side of Rugby League and to me is becoming unwatchable too.
That said though, I watched the Manly vs. Warriors game on TV tonight. Why? Because I will support New Zealand when playing against Australia at tiddlywinks or marbles or anything.

"I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER AT GOLF BECAUSE I'M HITTING FEWER SPECTATORS" - GERALD FORD.

2011-10-02T15:55:00.000+13:00

I've mentioned playing golf in previous posts. I may also have given some hints as to my ability in playing golf which, to be honest, is not great. I like being out there, usually on my own, to enjoy the walk, play a few holes well, forget about the bad ones and to find golf balls. In summary this sums up my golfing:

I put my name down for the club championships and for the last 3 Sundays have played in a tournament. The scores for the first two Sundays were atrocious but I still managed to make the 'cut' for the quarter-finals. The Old Girl was excited about that but I eventually broke down and told her that in the 'D' Grade (the 25 to 36 handicap players), the first 12 players go through. As there are only 8 of us we all go through. Today I played my first match play against another golfer. It turns out that they match the worst golfer (or at least the one who had the highest scores in the two previous weeks) with the best in each grade. I was of course the worst and was matched with the best. Well, bugger me, I played quite well this morning. This can be summed up by:

I won the round, on handicap play obviously but was playing well below my handicap with only a few outrageously bad shots (two in a row out into the harbour). My competitor looked at me sideways a couple of times and in jest queried my handicap.

The weather was terrible. It has been stormy here for several days and today, while the wind has dropped, it has been raining steadily. I was saturated.

I had considered calling in to cancel as yesterday and last night I have felt unwell (sore throat, chest pains, cough etc.) but thought that might be disruptive so I persevered. I was pleased to get home in the early afternoon though. I have just had a hot bath and enjoyed a hot lemon, whisky and honey concoction while listening to Miles Davis' Kind of Blue.

Life is good and I am starting to feel better. Next week I will be in the semi-final. I'll have to be careful that this doesn't sum me up:

INSTANT GRATIFICATION

2011-09-30T20:32:00.001+13:00

I was channel surfing and came across The X Factor which is yet another of those bloody Simon Cowell American TV programmes about wannabees looking for the big chance. Apart from the ageing nutters most are from the younger generations (in plural because I am now officially an old fucker) and have been brought up being told how wonderful they are.
question: Do you think that Frank Sinatra's, Judy Garland's, John Lennon's, Thelonius Monk's and Miles Davis' parents (to draw from millions of super accomplished artists) told them in their formative years that they were 'brilliant', 'the best' , "'awesome' etc.? I think not. I'm not saying that encouragement is a bad thing but when overdone it can be destructive. Having young people coming through with over-inflated impressions of their capabilities is destructive - the others around them in the sense that it can be bloody annoying, and to themselves in that at worst it can lead to disillusionment amd maybe suicide.

I can't think of any good that has come out of 'instant'. I hate instant coffee. Instant noodles and other types of instant foods are unsatisfying and most likely dangerous to health. I know that we all want instant wealth:

and I am guilty of buying those lotto tickets every week but we have to get away from this. The new culture we are breeding is dangerous and unhealthy.

We need to nurture a sense of achievement and accomplishment in our young people that will........

oops, sorry, I've got to go. South Africa vs. Samoa game is starting and I need my fix........

I'M BACK BABY - I'M BACK

2011-09-29T20:47:00.000+13:00

Yes, we ran out of money. Hey! It was good while it lasted. The Old Girl working all hours. Me playing golf and lazing about, but all good things come to an end. Yesterday I went to Auckland for a job interview. Today the owner of the company rang me to tell me that he wanted me to join his company.

I was conflicted. Yes, I was happy that he chose me. Yes we bloody need the money, but, work. What the hell is that? I'll have to get into training. I agreed to start in November. That will give me time to organise my stuff. And to tell the cat. We will keep the McLeod Bay house as a weekend place and live in Auckland during the week which is really how The Old Girl has been living for the last year. Now we will be together a lot more. By the way, the "I'm back baby, I'm back" clip is because I have re-entered the wine industry having chosen to leave the real estate industry untouched (the white shoes don't suit my navy blue chinos)

MY '70'S MUSIC

2011-09-26T21:14:00.000+13:00

The Old Girl went to Auckland today. While I'm going to miss her (I will go to Auckland myself on Wednesday), it gives me a chance to do things that are usually forbidden. I'll spare you the unsavoury details but share with you that I can play my "70's Music" that she doesn't have an affinity for. Tonight I have left the TV off (all crap anyway) and dug out some old favourites. I just played Hot Tuna's 1970 album Hot Tuna. Great with a half bottle of 2004 Penfolds Kalimna Shiraz. Here is a a taste of the album with Hesitation Blues.

AAAAA*

2011-09-26T11:47:00.000+13:00

* Against Annoying Acronyms And Abbreviations

I have always disliked acronyms and their overuse in all kinds of industry is a bugbear of modern day living. Text messaging using txt particularly pisses me off. I have a 10 year old cellphone which I won't change because it opens out to a QWERTY keyboard so that when I send a text I write it out in full with correct spelling and full punctuation. More recently I am annoyed at internet abbreviations.

This 'LOL' crap and "OMG' and all the stupid acronyms really get to me. Often they are associated with stupid little smiley or sad faces made up by symbols from a keyboard. Fuck!
It shows how people are becoming lazier with their writing and spelling and frankly not using the brains that they were born with. This stupidity (along with most Hollywood movies, American TV, modern formulaic music, fast food, reality TV and celebrity gossip magazines and websites) simply lowers collective intelligence of the general public - YOU. Surely there must be a backlash soon. As it is there must be many people who get annoyed when they say hi to someone and receive a 'lol' or similar back.

If there isn't a return to good old fashioned values then the answer may be to resort to something tried and true.

FOR SECOND

2011-09-25T18:40:00.000+13:00

After Second Fiddle's 'interesting' post showing him whistling while he fiddled (the mind boggles) I looked up whistling on the internet and found this sad specimen. Oh how life was simpler in 1967. Anyone and anything could get on TV - hey, wait a minute that sounds like 2011 and american Idol, the X-factor and America has talent.

In the comments on the following video the one I liked best is:

"I wonder what his medals are for - I guess dick-headiness, fuck-wizardry and being the world's biggest delusional fanny. On a lighter note he looks a bit like a young Jim Dale."

LADIES UNDERWEAR GOING DOWN

2011-09-24T15:00:00.000+12:00

"Ladies underwear going down"

Man of Errors' latest post here took me back to my days growing up in Wellington. I remember the old Kirkaldie and Stains department store. I also remember the ones that he is too young to remember - DIC, which used to be close to Kirkaldie and Stains in Lambton Quay and James Smith's which used to be on the corner of Cuba Street and Manners Street. These were huge, multi-floored operations with, as MoE says, escalators and lifts with uniformed attendants. I remember the old guy (probably younger than I am now) cracking us up by saying in his strange way of speaking "Going down. Ladies underwear first floor" If he ran the words together it used to sound funny and rude (hey, we were only 10 or so OK).
Friday late night shopping was an occasional chance to spend our weekly pocket money (2 and 6 pence). James Smiths had a great restaurant that occupied the best part of one floor. Fish and chips on a plate with lemon and a salad was a treat at about a shilling. These department stores had a vacuum system for handling receipts and money. It worked by the sales assistant putting the customers money and the hand-written docket into a small tube (metal or glass) which was then put into an overhead pipe that ran , with many tributaries back to the central office where a cashier would stamp the docket and return with the correct change. The small tube could be seen whizzing away through the larger pipe. We used to find this fascinating and would stand there gawking until we were moved along. Modern point of sale equipment is not half as exciting as this system was.

Man of Errors made reference to Bill Bryson's The Thunderbolt Kid where he quoted:

"That was the glory of living in a world that was still largely free of global chains. Every community was special and nowhere was like everywhere else. If our commercial enterprises in Des Moines weren’t the best, they were at least ours. At the very least, they all had things about them that made them interesting."

There were very few chain shops when I was a kid and certainly no global ones. I remember the first McDonald's in Wellington. It was in Courtenay Place Richard and opened in 1979. Everything went downhill from there. Bryson's observation is apt. Global retail and global brands rob communities of their own sense of place. I remember feeling this when coming across Irish pubs and McDonald's restaurants in France years ago. I was looking for 'authentic' experiences and at every turn was a bloody global franchise spewing out pap.
As a kid in Wellington we had local soft drinks. It was only later that Coca Cola was added to with a range of other drinks like Fanta. Our local was Thomson and Lewis.
We didn't have national bakery brands either. Each town and city had its own bakers and brands. Things have to move on I know but it is a shame when the 'improvements' bring along loss of culture, identity and the sense of belonging.

BLOGGING IS GETTING TO ME

2011-09-18T15:05:00.000+12:00

Over the last two nights I have had some seriously disturbing dreams.

Friday night's one had Richard (of RBB) in it. For some reason he and Gary Vincent, someone I vaguely knew 20 years ago (a friend of a friend) came around to play snooker and wouldn't go away. They were both enormously fat, smoked like chimneys and demanded beer, wine and snacks. The only way that I got rid of them was to wake up.

Last night I dreamed that TSB, another blogger on the bus station network whom I have never met in person, came around to visit. He brought his lap-top with him and sat in a corner working on his blog. He was unkempt and looked like he had been sleeping rough for some time.

As if this wasn't bad enough, for some reason he brought an old sofa with him. It was tartan coloured and full of holes. It was also infested by rats that when I banged a shoe against it proceeded to swarm out and take over the house.

Robert, you did the Psych degree at University. What does this mean?

ARSEHOLES, ACTION AND ART IN AUCKLAND

2011-09-17T17:11:00.002+12:00

I'm just back from Auckland. I went down yesterday to meet up with The Old Girl. As she is off to Christchurch on Monday she stayed in Auckland through the weekend so I went down for a 'date' last night. We went to the Crowne Plaza in Albert Street for a glass of wine and some tapas. The Crowne Plaza, as I've said before has a very good wine list. Expensive, but you get a good pour and there are some top wines - Seresin Pinot Noir for her and Trinity Hill Chardonnay for me at $19 a glass each. The tapas dishes are great - tempura prawns and asian mini spring rolls. Wonderful. The Australian rugby team is staying there and we saw a lot of familiar faces including these two partners in crime.

It is said that O'Connor looks like Justin Bieber.

FIGJAM

From where I was sitting he looked more like Michael Myers.

From there we walked down Queen Street to Queen's wharf and 'Party Central'. The atmosphere was good with all facilities working well and everyone in a good mood that the showers didn't dampen.

We watched the All Black's beat Japan on one of the (very) big screens that are in place there. What a great facility. Free viewing with nearly as good an atmosphere as being at the game. All those miserable knockers should just get a life.

Sonny Jim going for a try (or maybe he didn't pay for his sushi)

On the way back to the apartment we stopped off at Vivace in High Street for a glass of wine and more tapas. Deep fried mushrooms and shrimps for her and Mediterranean lamb meat balls for me. Delicious. If you are in Auckland this is a must visit place. Affordable, interesting and very spacious with a great atmosphere. They serve good wines including a good selection of European wines. A French Merlot for her and a Rioja Creanza for me.

This morning we went to the new Auckland Museum (refurbished and recently opened). This is stunning and leaves for dead some I've been in in Australia and USA. Spacious and well designed it sets off the artwork very well. The Gallery collection is on show along with some loaned/donated works including the generous donation from Julian and Josie Robertson who have gifted works by Picasso, Cezanne, Matise, Gaugin and Mondrian among others. The gallery design incorporates the neighbouring Albert Park beautifully with dramatic views of the trees seen through tall glass windows at the top of staircases and from many of the gallery room's windows glimpses of the park, the band rotunda and the vegetation. The Old Girl bumped into an architect she knows and he confessed to hardly noticing the art as he was fascinated by the building.
Another nice trip.