Me and the Old Girl have been together for over 25 years and seldom argue kind of like Richard and Shelley who've been together longer. By my reckoning they will have their 30th wedding anniversary early next year. What's the 30th? Balsa wood? Aluminium? I'm sure someone will know.
Anyway, even though we seldom argue there are sometimes occasions that put stresses on relationships. The current one is travel as today we are off to Scotland to spend Christmas and New Year with The Old Girl's family. Packing, planning, organising and spring cleaning ..... Yes you heard right, spring cleaning is all on the agenda. WTF? I said that as we're away for over a fortnight things will get dusty again so why other cleaning the bath, all surfaces, floors etc. her response ..."I don't want to come back from holiday to a tip like this Matey" levelled at me with, I think, an underlying condemnation of my cleaning abilities.
I had to respond.
There are three levels of argumentativeness in my arsenal:
Level one, which I used as a response was "blah, blah, blah"
This was good as it hit the mark and made me feel relieved. By hitting the mark though it triggered a response from The Old Girl along the lines of "watch it".
Now this was blatant provocation. It had to be responded to.
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| "Fiddle - de- dee Madam" |
Things were escalating. I knew it and The Old Girl knew it. This could lead to level three which has only ever been used once before about fifteen years ago. It was devastating and reduced The Old Girl to tears. She claimed that it was due to 'hormones' but I know differently.
Level three is " For God' sake".
The big gun. Big Bertha. Armegeddon. I gave her a meaningful stare letting her know what might be in store before picking up the duster and cleaning the surfaces.
5 comments:
It's at times like this that a good book can help. Flicking through "Laugh on the loo: bog standard humour" I find the following advice which might help though I could be wrong.
Never say "It's nice being in bed with a girl I don't have to inflate or careful I might spill my pint".
Hope this helps.
Dangerous ground Nanook.
If you're going to make a stand, and I'm certainly not advising a stand in a stressful situation like before going away (she'll be worrying about what clothes to take - that's a biggy), you'll need a good supply of recent brownie points. It will also be necessary to remind that these exist - they don't last for long, but a memory triger can bring them back.
"Remember when I fixed the chair and you were so pleased?"
You're probably wise, in a stressful situation like this, to use at least three brownie points. This is what I've learnt after nearly 30 years.
Also, if you're a musician, this is not a good time to boast about how much practice you've done.
My advice...
no smart back chat, look like you're really concerned about the dust too. Attempt to clean the toilet, but look a little helpless - do it badly. NEVER, and I mean NEVER, show that you can clean the toilet successfully. Try to show competence on the easy jobs. Vacuuming is a good on to shine at - it's not hard and can take a while. Unloading the dishwasher is another good choice. You could also pretend to fix something really important - change a lightbulb, for instance, and say you were a little worried about how hot is was. Talk some electrical mumbo jumbo. Look like you're really involved - this is a chance for some brownie points. It's best to try to come out looking good. Later in the day, when you're having a wine, she'll think about the panic and how helpful you were. She might be a little remourseful (she'll remember that electrical knowledge you displayed) and might be eager to make ammends.
That's my advice after nearly 30 years.
Your past can let you down
http://youtu.be/lCQznWcm1KQ
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