THE 100 DAY PLAN - WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

.

We are already seeing the new PM's weakness - at first skiting about how good a negotiator he is (wrong) and then bleating about how unfair it is that the previous government handed him a crock of shit.

What a loser. He's doing this to kid on that if his wonderful 100 day plan doesn't work it must be the fault of someone else - the Labour Government, ACT, NZ First, Uncle Tom Cobley .... whoever.

He doesn't take any blame himself for his weaselly coalition agreements, his silly 100 day plan, the odious multi-billion dollar gift to speculative landlords, the looming disastrous tax break for the wealthy, a shameful back-pedalling on tobacco legislation etc etc.

Basically, in a matter of days he has done the opposite of 'manning up' to do the job that a lot of people voted him in to do. We don't want an "I told you so" limp dick as PM - we want and need someone who will roll up his sleeves and pitch in and - to take some bloody responsibility. Sheesh!

This is going to be a government floundering in hypocrisy:

• The deal done to drop the foreign-buyer tax means that the promised tax cuts that will favour the wealthy can't be funded unless.... tobacco is still allowed to be sold to provide tax revenue .... which is what they are proposing and it's just a shame that at least 5000 lives a year will continue to be lost to smoking.
• ACT's wish to cut down on public sector jobs is in contradiction to the fact that while preaching  austerity, this new government has increased the number of MPs inside and outside Cabinet. Nearly half of the coalition’s MPs now belong to the Executive with higher salaries, expensive perks and increased numbers of support staff. Give me a break. 
• Crown spending will be decreased on essential services - Police, Education, Health, Social Welfare to support the aforementioned gift bags with little regard to social need, struggling families and increased population.
• An attack on better wages and conditions for hard-strapped workers with promises to repeal the Fair Pay Agreement regime by Christmas 2023, reform health and safety law and regulations and to expand 90-day trials to apply to all businesses.

The 100 day proposals are not all bad by any means but there are enough knee-jerk reaction ones to make me wonder how mature Luxon and National are and whether they are just acting peevishly. Here are the 'actions' and I've highlighted the bad ones.

• Repeal the Clean Car Discount scheme by December 31, 2023.
• Ban the use of cell phones in schools.
• Introduce legislation to remove the Auckland Fuel Tax.
• Repeal Fair Pay Agreement legislation.
• Stop "blanket speed limit reductions" and start work on replacing the Land Transport Rule: Setting of Speed Limits 2022.
• Stop central government work on the Auckland Light Rail project.
• Start work to improve the quality of regulation.
• Introduce legislation to repeal the Water Services Entities Act 2022, also known as the Three Waters reforms
• Introduce legislation to ban gang patches, stop gang members gathering in public, and stop known gang offenders from communicating with one another.
• Give police greater powers to search gang members for firearms and make gang membership an aggravating factor at sentencing.
• Introduce legislation to disestablish the Māori Health Authority.
• Begin work to repeal the Therapeutics Products Act 2023
• Allow the sale of cold medication containing pseudoephedrine
• Require primary and intermediate schools to teach an hour of reading, writing and maths per day starting in 2024.
• Begin disestablishing Te Pukenga.
• Stop all work on He Puapua.
• Stop work on the Income Insurance Scheme.
• Stop work on Industry Transformation Plans.
• Stop work on the Lake Onslow pumped hydro scheme.
• Begin efforts to double renewable energy production, including a National Policy Statement on Renewable Electricity Generation.
• Withdraw central government from Let’s Get Wellington Moving (LGWM).
• Meet with councils and communities to establish regional requirements for recovery from Cyclone Gabrielle and other recent major flooding events.
• Make any additional Orders in Council needed to speed up cyclone and flood recovery efforts.
• Start reducing public sector expenditure, including consultant and contractor expenditure.
• Introduce legislation to narrow the Reserve Bank’s mandate to price stability.
• Cancel fuel tax hikes.
• Begin work on a new Government Policy Statement reflecting the new Roads of National Significance and new public transport priorities.
• Introduce legislation to restore 90-day trial periods for all businesses.
• Begin work on a National Infrastructure Agency.
• Repeal the Spatial Planning and Natural and Built Environment Act and introduce a fast-track consenting regime.
• Begin to cease implementation of new Significant Natural Areas and seek advice on the operation of the areas.
• Take policy decisions to amend the Overseas Investment Act 2005 to make it easier for build-to-rent housing to be developed in New Zealand.
• Begin work to enable more houses to be built, by implementing the National Party's Going for Housing Growth policy and making the Medium Density Residential Standards optional for councils.
• Abolish the previous Labour government’s prisoner reduction target.
• Stop taxpayer funding for section 27 cultural reports.
• Introduce legislation to extend eligibility to offence-based rehabilitation programmes to remand prisoners.
• Begin work to crack down on serious youth offending.
• Enable more virtual participation in court proceedings.
• Begin to repeal and replace Part 6 of the Arms Act 1983 relating to clubs and ranges.
• Improve security for the health workforce in hospital emergency departments.
• Sign a Memorandum of Understanding with Waikato University to progress a third medical school.
• By December 1, lodge a reservation against adopting amendments to World Health Organisation health regulations to allow the Government to consider these against a “national interest test”.
• Appoint an Expert Group to redesign the English and maths curricula for primary school students.
• Begin work on delivering better public services and strengthening democracy.
• Set five major targets for health system, including for wait times and cancer treatment.
• Take first steps to extend free breast cancer screening to those aged up to 74.
• Repeal amendments to the Smokefree Environments and Regulated Products Act 1990 and regulations.
• Establish a priority one category on the social housing waitlist to move families out of emergency housing into permanent homes more quickly.
• Commission an independent review into Kāinga Ora’s financial situation, procurement, and asset management.

***************

I loved the Wellington councillor's 'dick pic' of Luxon and his two coalition partners.

"Councillor Teri O’Neill posted the billstickers with her friends last Friday night and told the Herald she stood by her decision, saying she wanted to “challenge entrenched power structures”."

         NZ Herald 

WHEN YOUR NIGHTMARES WAKE YOU UP

 Mr Sloppy rang at the crack of dawn today, waking me up.

"Scusi Ho cagato a letto e devo dirlo a tutti"

I was hoping for a lie in as I 'pushed the boat out' a bit last night, drinking too much wine and listening to 'my 70s music' since The Old Girl is in Auckland.

It's been a slow day today - and a long one since having to get up so bloody early - 8AM!

The activity I'd planned didn't happen and has been put off to tomorrow or Friday. If the weather is fine I'll go to tennis in the morning. No wine for me tonight nor tomorrow night. I was thinking of signing the pledge like Robert has but I guess, by Friday I'll have changed my mind.

Pronto!

YOU ALWAYS HEAR IT HERE FIRST - YOU KNOW THAT

Richard of the Bag (the blog site formerly known as Richard's Bass Bag wrote a post introducing his new character. See: HERE

The new character looks like someone who Police Ten might be interested in. It's like an identikit of a peeping tom or a rapist who's been stalking women.

This is disturbing ... even more disturbing.

We at The Curmudgeons Incⓒ predicted this of course back on 3rd April this year. See: HERE ....

.... where we predicted a change of blog title for Richard's bag.

No need to thank us.

THERE'S A NEW KID* IN TOWN

 *'Kid' is being a bit generous as this old bugger could give Methuselah a run for his money - or a hobble anyway.

Johnny come lately

The new kid in town

Everybody loves you

So don't let them down

So who's the 'new kid?

Sorry to say - it's someone named Slurpy. I know, I know, it's a bit of a let-down but when I tell you his source you won't be surprised. Slurpy is one of Richard of the Bag (the blog site formerly known as Richard's Bass Bag)'s creations. See: HERE

Will he let us down?

You betcha. Just look at the poor performances of all those other alter-egos* he has.

* An alter ego can be thought of as a person's clone or second self. A professional alter ego might be a trusted aide who knows exactly what the boss wants done. A personal alter ego might be a close friend who is almost like a twin. Alter ego can also refer to the second, hidden side of one's own self.

A LITTLE UPDATE

 

It was a calm day today - another of a series of them we've had recently. This is quite a relief after a winter and spring of storms. I haven't been brave enough to go swimming yet as reports are that the water is still pretty cold - maybe Robert would in his Lenten religiosity. If this keeps up though it'll make for great kayaking so I'd better get the kayaks out from under the house.

I took The Old Girl to the airport today. She went to Auckland for the week- back on Sunday ('who'll cook my tea?'). On the way home I played some golf - very badly as I'm way out of practice. Not only that but I lost two golfballs and only found one! I'm one down.

MYSTERIES SERIES PART ONE

 

I'm not sure if this will become a series but then, there are so many things that I don't know that could stretch out to a mysteries series.

I'm not talking about transubstantiation, virgin births, ascensions and assumptions here - that's just Catholic fairy tales. I'll leave it to Robert to try and bamboozle readers with that stuff. No, I'm talking about some things at the edge of my memory that bug me.

1. That tomato sauce TV advertisement.

In I think the late 1990s there was an animated television commercial advertising sauce. It depicted a couple in bed - a guy who was a chip (French fry type) and a female partner who was a bottle of tomato sauce. 

The female character said something like:

  "You don't appreciate me enough, I'm going to leave you."

The male character (the chip) looked a bit nonplussed and said:

"Who'll cook my tea?"

It was surreal and ever since, when The Old Girl is going away on a trip and asks me if I'll miss her I say:

 "Who'll cook my tea?"

I've tried to find this ad via internet searches but with no luck.

2. The 1960s British travel series set in Eastern Europe.

In the early 1960s I think there was a remarkable TV series (might have been BBC) where two guys (one named Renee) who could have been gay - they certainly were well dressed and swish - travelled through countries like Romania, Bulgaria, Hungary etc. in a big white British car (Daimler, Jaguar or similar) and reported on the local food, wine. music, dance and culture. It was whimsical and marvellous. I'd love to see this again. I've searched BBC historical programme sites and other similar sites on Google but have had no luck tracking it down.

Please advise if you are familiar with either or both of these. Your input will be appreciated.

RUMBLED

 

SUNDAY RIDDLE # 1

 It's a big responsibility having the most successful blog in this community - the one that has the most number of posts and a lot of readers look up to me and anticipate new instalments.

One old guy though from Wainuiomata - or should I say Whine-nuiomata - has been whinging that there hasn't been a Sunday quiz recently.

He even wrote a post about it: HERE

Jesus! What a nag.

He seems to have conveniently forgotten that it was one of his own whiny little alter egos that complained about the judging of the Sunday quiz which is why I decided to discontinue it.

Because there will be clamouring for something like the quiz though I've decided that instead of the quiz we will have a weekly riddle presented by a different curmudgeon. First up The Music Curmudgeon has volunteered. Take it away TMC.

Thanks TC, that's a great idea and I'm sure we at The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ can come up with some riddles to stump the readers - I mean, how hard would that be? I have a good one to kick off and am offering  an interesting LP to the first person who solves the riddle. This is Sam Sacks's famous recording "Sing It Again Sam!'

No need to thank me. Here's this week's music riddle:

A rock group has four members, each of whom are dead. People still come to see them even though an album was never released. What is it?

SOME NEWS

 

THE THREE STOOGES

Seymour: The Cheshire Cat - "How queer everything is today." (Alice in Wonderland).


Luxon : Humpty Dumpty - "The question is, which is to be master - that's all." (Alice in Wonderland).


Peters: The Big Bad Wolf - "I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down." (The Brothers Grimm).

HIP SHAKE

 

Oops! Sorry, wrong video.

Try this:

That's better - "Do the hip shake baby." Mind you, I wouldn't mind Rosario teaching me how to shake my hips.

"Why hips?" you might ask.

Well, today I visited an orthopedic surgeon and he said:

"Oooh! Nice hips. Those are the best hips I've seen for sometime and I see a lot of hips baby."

That was the gist of what he said anyway. A more literal version as he pointed to the x-ray images on his computer screen might have been:

"See the hips there? Note how they are even on both sides. The structure is good showing no degradation. See the synovium - the thin cover that wraps around the bones in the joint. It makes a fluid that provides lubrication so your bones can move easily without resistance. It's perfect. The bursa , the fluid-filled sac that provides cushioning and a smooth surface for the bones, muscles and tendons in your joints to move on. is also in great condition. Your hips are in really good condition - for your age."

OK, that was good news (except the "for your age" comment and I felt relieved. He told me that no invasive surgery or needles would be required and that a course of physiotherapy will get me back to normal. He diagnosed Gluteal tendinopathy which used to be known as Trochanteric bursitis. This typically causes pain on the side of the hip, making it difficult to lie on that side, walk up stairs, or even just normal walking. 

He is a very good surgeon (has his own website and all - maybe I can encourage him into blogging) and explained the condition well. Apparently rest is good for the condition in the early stages but then, like a stretched spring, the tendon needs to be forced back into 'recoil' by physio and selected exercise. This makes the body form new collagen fibres for strength.

Here's what the surgeon's website says:

Tendons are made up of tiny little ‘ropes’ called collagen fibres. Building these ropes is a slow process which occurs in response to the tendon being used (through weight bearing exercise). As we age and become less active fewer ‘ropes’ get made and those that are present become brittle. These weakened tendons may not be able to withstand a sudden movement or certain exercises as its normal ‘spring and recoil’ system becomes overwhelmed. The remaining normal fibres within the tendon then become sore as they try to adapt by growing new ropes to carry the load. Just as our muscles need to grow and adapt in response to exercise so do our tendons. Pressure also affects tendons, especially the gluteal tendons. Tendons are not designed to withstand compressive forces for prolonged periods of time. When they are constantly exposed to these forces tendon structure adapts and changes further weakening them (collagen fibres become cartilage). A structure called the ileo-tibial band (ITB) places pressure on the gluteal tendons where they join the bone of the hip.The pressure exerted on the tendons by the ITB changes depending on the position your legs are in. Crossing your legs increases the pressure while keeping your legs parallel has little effect.

Doing the two glacier walks on the same day was for me, unusual exercise and put pressure on my hip tendons. The good news is that the condition is not tendonitis (inflamed tendon) or tendonosis (tendon tear and degeneration).

You didn't know and now you know. I'll soon be back to hill-walking, tennis and golf. Unfortunately I will no longer have an excuse for not doing weeding, gardening and home maintenance. That paved pathway might have to get finished after all.

"THAR SHE BLOWS!"

 

I was listening to a news report on National Radio this morning. It was about a 600 year old pohutukawa tree that had fallen over.

POHUTUKAWA

It's an interesting story but what marred it for me was the continual reference to the tree's gender as a woman. Here's an extract from the report:

"A small coastal town in the Bay of Islands is mourning the loss of a much-loved member of the community.

She was known and admired by Ōpua residents and visitors alike. Children were especially fond of her, and wildlife flocked to her in summer. No one had a bad word to say about her, though admittedly she never said a word to anyone.

She was - as far as anyone knows - about 600 years old."

For fucks sake! It's a tree.  It's not a woman.

"And I'm not a tree."

This annoys me a bit but it annoys The Old Girl more. She corrects people - ones we know and even strangers - who use the pronoun 'she' or 'her' when talking of ships, cars, storms, houses etc. and detests it when anyone refers to 'Mother Nature'. I can hear her going "Grrr" now as I think of it.

I agree with her since gender identification of inanimate objects is usually feminine with not that many things being called 'he' or 'his'. The issue came to a head years ago when the naming of hurricanes and cyclones was changed from only using female names to now alternating with male names. More recently the Scottish Maritime Museum  decided to adopt gender-neutral signage for its vessels, dropping "she" for "it" after two signs were vandalised. 

The practice of using the feminine pronoun for inanimate objects is no longer acceptable. Get over it.

MODERNISM

 

OK, if you don't want Modernism go to Robert's blog and hear (again) about old Bible stuff. I don't care.

Or, you could check out Richard's Revised Bass Bag - the one with pictures.

********************

I've had a full day today and can't wait to tell The Old Girl  (T.O.G.) about it.*

She's working in Auckland this week and yesterday, on our nightly FaceTime call she was less than impressed at my activity report - scathing actually.

Today I started early by mowing the lawn before it got too hot. I then did a load of washing and hung it out.

I did some housework - vacuuming and cleaning the bathrooms (she's coming home tomorrow).

I went into town for some supermarket shopping and to Mitre 10 Mega for a couple of Black Friday deals. I bought a retractable hose reel ($99 down from $180) and a Black and Decker battery drill set for T.O.G. to replace hers that burned out a while ago (It wasn't me - honest).

It cost $90 and came with a battery and battery charger which is a pretty good deal.

I charged up the B&D battery and then installed the new hose reel at the end of the house (using her new drill that I won't tell her about). I found a strong batten below one of the spare bedroom's window that allowed installing the reel mechanism while allowing room underneath to wheel a barrow and it is far enough back so that the trailer won't knock it. Job done, I'm happy. The hose reel is a cheaper version of the more expensive and better quality Gardena one I installed under the front deck earlier in the year. I've been hoping that a Gardena one would come up on the Black Friday sales but - no such luck. The one at the front will get the most use though as T.O.G. has lots of plants and flowers in pots on the deck that need daily watering in Summer and I have lots of herbs in big planters along the side of the house.

I didn't get a nap today and had only about a half hour to do some reading and solve crosswords and am only blogging now (7pm) while waiting for my dinner to cook. It's pretty prosaic - lamb sausages, mashed potatoes and steamed asparagus but I'm tired. I'm enjoying a Church Road McDonald Series chardonnay - suitably chilled regardless of what that old wine critic down south says.

Salut!

* I'm also telling you, the reader as I know from past posts that you like to hear about life up North.

Hypocrite lecteur, — mon semblable, — mon frère ! (Hypocrite reader - my fellow man - my brother!) From T.S. Eliot The Waste Land. If you want to know what it's about, read T.S. Eliot or Baudelaire.

A Modernist look at T.S. Eliot

YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER NOT CRY

 

'Our' pohutukawa are blossoming already and the beachfront is looking nice.

I guess that Robert's annual festival commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, observed primarily on December 25 and central to the Christian liturgical year is just around the corner. As you know it's preceded by the season of Advent which we are in now and initiates the season of Christmastide, which historically in the West lasts twelve days and culminates on  Twelfth Night. 

Whoopdy do!

Curmudgeons no longer get Christmas presents and nowadays don't have visitors coming to stay - no kings and no shepherds which pleases The Old Girl as her ex husband's name is Shepherd and I know that she doesn't want to see him. We will (again) 'celebrate' Christmas on our own with our own traditional Christmas fare - a light meal of salads and a quiche or a flan with Champagne and sparkling shiraz.

No church services will be attended but it would be nice to hear some hymns or carols coming from the little church at the end of our road.

WAITING

.

"Trust me."

Christopher Luxon continues in his delusional belief that he's a great negotiator and is doing things in the coalition talks that no NZ prime minister has done before.

" We’ve achieved, I think, a significant milestone overnight and that is that we have actually closed down and agreed policy programmes with both Act and also with New Zealand First. That’s a major achievement.”  said Luxon.

"He may have had “too many weet-bix”. said Seymour.

 “I’ll tell you later.” said Peters

"Tell him he's dreaming." said  Darryl Kerrigan.

Oh, sorry. That last comment came from the film The Castle. 

Meanwhile Nicola Willis is stewing on being kept on the sidelines.

"There have been compromises on all sides of the coalition negotiations and trade-offs have been made.
We are making compromises but we’re doing that in a way that we think is consistent with the broad mandate we’ve been given by New Zealanders and by and large, the people we’re negotiating with are being reasonable about that. They understand that no one will thank them if they’re seen to hold the country to ransom with less than 10 per cent of the vote. No one wants the tail wagging the dog. No one wants a situation where a smaller party is dictating the direction of the country or the way it’s governed."

Said Willis but I think that 'she doth protest too much'. She wants the Finance Minister position if not the deputy PM position as well but probably will settle to bide her time until a probable new election next year.

Waiting. Waiting.

NEW POST - THE DARKER CURMUDGEON

 

"DO IT AGAIN - I DARE YOU"

THE GOSPEL IS NOT REALLY GOOD NEWS

Robert reckons I'm insane as he commented on his own post recently:

 

OK, I might have alluded to losing my marbles in previous posts like this one ...

CRAZY

... but I do think he's being a bit rude.

Anyway, pot-kettle-black he bangs on about mythical deities and arcane religious practices - even in the very same comment that I extracted from above, Here's the entire comment:

Maybe his comment about the Gospel is spot on though as in his post he quoted Matthew 25 - the parable about servants wasting their talents which was a nasty little Gospel story and certainly not good news for many people except for the avaricious and wealthy.

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 

YOU'RE FIRED!

SUNDAY QUIZ # 7

 

Sorry readers. This weeks Sunday Quiz has been cancelled.

This is because one contributor threw a hissy fit at the results of the last quiz and the other another reader is AWOL and not contributing.

We will review the situation next week but I'm afraid that I can't promise much.

Meantime I'll leave you with this:

INTERVIEW # 25 - SUITS YOU SIR

 It's opportune to interview Chris Bishop in this latest in the Interview series since we mentioned Chris in  yesterday's post.

"Beep beep! Important messenger coming through."

***********************

The Curmudgeon: Welcome Chris. I say, that beige suit well, suits you. Suits you sir ha ha ...

... I apologise for the smutty innuendo there Chris.

Chris Bishop: Ha ha , that's OK. I'm used to it at work you know.

The Curmudgeon: So Chris, why beige? I would have thought a nice toady green would suit you more.

Chris Bishop: It is green ... hey! What do you mean by 'toady'?

The Curmudgeon: The suit looks beige to me Chris or am I colour blind like most of the voters who confused red with blue in the elections?

Chris Bishop: Beige? Oh .... that's just the coffee stains. I was helping the boss at the recent coalition meeting and he gave me an important mission.

The Curmudgeon: Like getting in the coffees?

Chris Bishop: Yes, well, it was important. The boss likes his fancy coffees so I had to go to Starbucks but as it was so far away I borrowed a scooter. On the way back I had to carry three coffees and ...

The Curmudgeon: Three coffees Chris? I thought that there would be four of you in that meeting. You, the boss, Peters and Seymour?

Chris Bishop: Ummm .... I'm sort of a special agent for the boss going on missions for him and such like...

The Curmudgeon: ....Yeah right! So Chris, the coffees?

Chris Bishop: Yeah, well, they were bloody big coffees you know: 

A white chocolate mocha for the boss: 

A caramel macchiato for Mr Seymour:

And a cafe mocha for Mr Peters:

The Curmudgeon: Quite appropriate Chris. Did they enjoy them?

Chris Bishop: Er, no, on the way back I fell off the scooter and spilled the coffee all over my suit.

Senior National MP and campaign chair Chris Bishop helped navigate his party through to victory in the 2023 election, but the boy from the Hutt struggled to make his way across downtown Auckland this morning as party members met to discuss the ongoing coalition talks.

The Curmudgeon: There's a metaphor in there somewhere Chris .... or an omen.

Chris Bishop: Better to spill the coffee than spill the beans though.

The Curmudgeon:What? Have you been reading Richard's Bass Bag again? I told you last time that it's a lot of nonsense ... hold on. Richard only writes his silly and confusing aphorisms in a mangled version of Italian. You said .... OK, what are you hiding there Chris?

Chris Bishop: No, no, nothing, nothing, I er ...

The Curmudgeon: You know that you're going to tell me Chris. What are you hiding? Is it about the coalition talks? I've heard that they aren't going well and that Luxon has been exposed as the blancmange I identified him as last year, see: HERE

Chris Bishop: The talks are going very well thank you and they are stimulating.

The Curmudgeon: Well not stimulated by caffeine though, that's for damned sure. So Chris, what's up?

Chris Bishop: Look .... if I tell you, will you promise to keep it to yourself?

The Curmudgeon: Mmm ... I have a responsibility to my readers Chris but, since there are only three of them I guess your story is safe enough.

Chris Bishop: OK then. I was lying when I said that I only bought three coffees. I actually bought four. The other one was a green tea cream frappuccino.

The Curmudgeon: A green tea cream frappuccino? You mean for ....

Chris Bishop: Yes, for my real boss Nicola Willis.

She wears green often to appeal to the Green Party and Save The Earth voters.

The Curmudgeon: Harrumph. 'Scorched earth' would be more suitable to her and her policies Chris.

Chris Bishop: Yeah well, anyway that's why I normally wear green suits as well - not 'toady' green I'll have you know. Nicola will be my boss soon as you well know.  We talked about this when you last interviewed me in Interview #7 see: HERE 

The Curmudgeon: Yes, yes, yes as Robert would say if he ever got back to blogging but that's moot.

Chris Bishop: Suit? Are we back to that?

The Curmudgeon: Moot. I said 'moot' as in it won't matter soon as there'll be a new election next year as you well know once this ridiculous coalition government falls over (if it ever gets started) . You'll have to align yourself with another 'up and comer'. How will you look in yellow do you think?

TOO MANY FIDDLERS ...

... And I'm not just talking about those guys on the other blogs.

It's been over a month since the 2023 election and still the bozos who the bozos voted in haven't got their frigging respective Acts ... sorry, acts together! Well, no surprises there from the guys who couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery or ride a scooter without falling off the damned thing: BAD BISHOP

“I’m going to use the next three weeks until the special votes are fully counted, to actually progress the relationships and the arrangements with each individual party.” Bishop's King ... sorry, boss proclaimed rather prematurely.

“I’ve done a lot of mergers and acquisitions,” he also boasted. “I’ve done a lot of negotiations.”

Yeah right. Luxon fancies himself as a successful businessman and, like many businessmen in senior positions skited that he'd do better than his predecessors, slating Bolger, Clark, Key, English, and Ardern who also had to form coalition governments.

Well, guess what? He's done bugger all. It's reported that he's all mouth and no trousers.

"It’s not clear what mergers and acquisitions Luxon was involved in for Unilever in Canada or when running its soap, deodorant and toothpaste category in the United States.

He was responsible for Air New Zealand’s alliance with Virgin Australia, but failed to build a strong working relationship with Virgin’s chief executive John Borghetti and its board. After reportedly failing to win board support to sack Borghetti, Luxon quit Virgin and sold Air New Zealand’s 25.9 per cent shareholding, although luckily the loss to Air NZ shareholders, including taxpayers, was probably under $100 million.

In commercial negotiations, it’s the bigger player, like Air New Zealand, that can walk away, while the smaller players usually feel pressure to close. In coalition negotiations, it’s the other way around."

Said Mathew Hooton in the NZ Herald.

It is said that Luxon doesn't listen to others which has been shown in the coalition negotiations. He wants to bulldoze through with National's agenda and hopes that Peters and Seymour will just coattail. So far he's hardly recognised that they have different agendas and even mocked Seymour for having pre-prepared policy papers. This is arrogance in the extreme.

"Follow me guys."

Act (Seymour) felt its time preparing detailed policy had been wasted and NZ First (Peters) was offended that National presumed to know its priorities without asking. They both were pissed off and, strangely for two diametrically opposed politicians, found some common ground - against National and Luxon.

Luxon has already shown himself to be an ineffective leader and in doing so is allowing Peters and Seymour to grow more powerful. He makes pithy comments on how things are going rather than, as the number one spokesperson, showing that he has control and as spokesperson keeping everyone informed.

He's just 'mouth and no trousers'. Maybe he should, like Nero, wear a toga and at least give us a tune.

 

I MAY BE PARANOID, BUT NO ANDROID

 

There've been some strange happenings on the blogs recently:

• Robert the sinner and lots of other things has gone virtual farming which explains the infrequency of his posting.
• Richard of Richard's Bass Bag, as he also is infrequently posting might well have virtually bought the farm and,
• Scottish Twisted Bastard, after many years absence has popped up in Scotland and is virtually dipping into blogging again, drafting posts to drench readers in his daggy way. He might as well be farming too.

I thought I'd check up on my blog statIstics as I haven't done this since November 2019 :INDIA'S COMING UP

Although I don't know why I should care about India after them beating us at one day cricket in the World Cup semi-final last night which I stayed up for from 9.30PM to 5.30AM much to the Old Girl's bewilderment.

Page views by country for the last week:

You will notice the order by popularity is:

1. New Zealand
2. Singapore
3. Australia
4. United States

Page views by country for last month:

The order by popularity is:

1. New Zealand
2. USA
3. Japan
4. Singapore

Page views by country for all time:

The popularity is:

1. NZ
2. USA
3. Russia
4. France

What does this tell us?

I don't know, I failed Statistics at university. Ask Robert as he studied weird shit like Sociology, Psychology, Mysticism and Omphaloskepsis and probably had to know stuff about statistics.

It does suggest that I'm being monitored though.

In the 2019 statistics the orders of popularity were:

Week:

1. India
2. NZ
3. USA
4. Indonesia

Month:

1. NZ
2. USA
3. India
4. Ukraine

All time:

1. NZ
2. USA
3. Russia
4. France

Well, to my untrained eye I can see that the all time ranking is still the same with those pesky Americans, Russians and Frenchmen are still watching me.

Uncle Sam: "Hands off - he's ours and you can tell those Frenchy friends of yours that too."

'JOGGING' THE MEMORY

 "What did you do in the printer wars grandad?" asked the little boy looking up with adulation admiration incredulation at his crusty old grandfather.

"The 2023 printer wars grandson?"

"Yes grandad. What did you do?"

"Well grandson, I was on the frontlines. I was in charge of the Cannon."

"Like great-uncle Robert at church grandad?"

No grandson that's the canon which is an entirely different thing. Catholics believe that it's a collection or list of sacred books accepted as genuine?'

"Yeah right eh grandad."

"Yeah right, You've got it grandson."

"But grandad .... about the printer wars..."

"Well, as I said grandson, I was on the front line in charge of the Cannon which ... "

"Which has an overhead hexagonal self refurbishing ink minimalising spectrum cartridge grandad?"

"That's the one grandson. It was a beauty but could only fire out about maybe 200 pages before another ink cartridge had to be fitted." 

"Was that bad grandad?"

"Yes grandson, very bad. I got plastered by those other guys - TC and TSB, who had superior equipment. TSB would totally cover my 200 pages with his Epson 20,000 pages and his ink bottles only cost him 18 quid! TC used a Brother and brother could that baby churn out the copies with a fast print speed of up to 18ppm while the automatic document feeder allowed him unattended scanning and copying of multi-page documents."

"Bummer grandad."

"No grandson, they didn't interfere with me in that .... oh, yeah, bummer."

"So TSB and TC were the big guns grandad?"

"That's so grandson, that's so."

"So, grandad, is that why you misspelled Canon as 'Cannon' so that you could feel at home with the 'big guns?"

"Ha ha grandson. With puns like that you'd make a good blogger. I remember one guy ... "

WHAT'S UP D.O.C.?

 A helicopter has been operating above Mount Aubrey most of today. Mount Aubrey is the mountain with the bush reserve and walking tracks behind our house.

D.O.C. is repairing tracks on this mountain and the other tracks (Mount Manaia and Reotahi) that are nearby and need the helicopter to drop buckets of gravel and other materials down to the workers.

The tracks were damaged by the cyclones this year so it'll be great having them renovated before Summer. Well done D.O.C.