NEW POST - THE TWITTER CURMUDGEON

 

"TWEET TWEET TWEET"

NEW POST - THE POLEMICAL CURMUDGEON

 

NIETZSCHE NICHE

NEW POST - THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT

 The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt is back.

A TALE THAT'S BURSTING TO BE TOLD

NEW POST - THE PHILOSOPHICAL CURMUDGEON

 

ROBERT'S TAKE ON ETHICS

NEW POST - THE MUSIC CURMUDGEON

 

FEELING ALRIGHT?

FOR RICHARD

 The cavalry to the rescue.

Oops! Sorry, wrong one, that's calvary



.

That's better

Richard (of RBB) and his family are unwell  and I had promised another furniture post which he was apparently looking forward to. Unfortunately I have no new furniture items planned although I must replace the wooden chairs on the deck that I junked and the bar stools I gave away.

I had a quick look around and saw three items of existing furniture that I may not have reported on in the past. I quickly photographed them and hope that this little filler might tide him over.

I can't remember where we bought this little rimu cupboard from but it may well have been from the Sunday Riccarton market when we lived in Christchurch in the 1990s. It is nicely made and we keep it in the kitchen area to hold things like the spare lens for the telescope, binoculars and phone chargers.

We bought this little wine rack in York when we lived there in 2015. I don't know what the wood is but it's very solid and well-made. While we keep most of our wine in the basement, or in the fridge, The Old Girl likes to keep a few select bottles in it. It's place is at the end of the house conveniently snuggling against the wine fridge. Note: we don't chill our red wines unless they are sparkling ones.

This little escritoire is quite old and belonged to my mother. She had it for many years and we've had it now for abut 20 years. We keep it in our bedroom. It has suffered a bit from sun exposure and, sometime I might give it a revarnish. The Old Girl keeps things like gift cards, wrapping paper and ribbons in it so it's a bit of a no-go area for me.

.

Well, that's it - I'm sorry that this is such a short post but I thought that given the urgency that will be overlooked.

CHEERS!

 

As I said I'd do in that previous post, I lit the fire for warmth and cheer.

While getting in kindling and wood from the woodshed I brought in extra and also lit the wood-burner in the small lounge at the end of the house. It's only 15 degrees in the house so not exactly 'arctic' but certainly cooler than we're used to. anyway it makes for a cosy environment while it's raining outside.

I'm going to be lazy today and settle in to some reading and TV watching. I'm reading David Nobbs' book 'A Bit of a Do' which is very good and funny. Nobbs also wrote the Reginald Perrin series. As I sometimes do I decided to watch the 'Bit of a Do' TV series in between reading chapters. This was screened quite a while ago but it wears very well and the actors selected match the characters in the book exactly. Maybe it was especially written for them.

So, how's your Friday shaping up?

NEARER MY GOD TO THEE*

* NEARER MY GOD TO THEE 

It's better as a brass band tune than the sentiments expressed in the actual song:

In articulo mortis
Caelitus mihi vires
Nearer, my God, to Thee
Nearer to Thee
E'en though it be a cross
That raiseth me

I'm back after spending 4 days in the Assessment Unit at our local hospital. Yesterday it was touch and go during an endoscopic procedure and I did actually think that I could prove or disprove Robert's  belief in a god and a hereafter. I came close and may tell you about this in further detail some time.

Meanwhile, it's a funny old world still with, among other vile things, USA in Texas having the worst school shootings for a decade and a spate of gun crimes in Auckland.

Luckily Robert came out against the Texas shootings with some quotes from the Catechism and scriptures. Well done that man - that'll sort it just like the gun totin' Americans do with their 'hearts and prayers' platitudes when these things happen.

It's a miserable day here today but far, far better than sitting in a hospital room. The care and attention I received however was superb and I just cannot understand why some people are so critical of hospital care in this country. Maybe it's because I'm pleasant to the doctors, nurses and other staff.

I think that I'll light the fire in the main lounge today to 'cheer' the house up and our spirits. I guess I have to take it easy and I know that The Old Girl was worried. I discovered this morning that she had sorted out my socks, underwear and T-shirts drawers, resorting and folding everything nicely rather than the normal jumble I have them in. It's always a sign. She's back working today so I'll get the house cosy and decide on something nice for dinner (a nod to Robert there) probably Teriyaki fish and rice.

MUSICAL CHAIRS*

 * Actually, bedroom furniture, not chairs.

Well, the great furniture move around has been done. I know that you've been looking forward to seeing this and, once again. I apologise for the delay. I also apologise for the standard of this post as I've been 'under the weather'.

The small 4-drawer kauri chest in the master bedroom that hogged this space has been moved .

It has been replaced with a taller, 7-drawer tallboy that, whilst not being made from as good wood, is a more economical use of space.

The pine wardrobe in the master bedroom has been moved.

It has been replaced with a larger oak wardrobe.

The white chest of drawers in one of the spare bedrooms has been replaced.

The pine wardrobe now stands here.

The rattan duchess has been moved from the study to the shed.

It has been replaced by the white chest of drawers and the kauri chest of drawers

Well, that's it really.

INTERVIEW # 6

 Against my better judgement, I allowed a discussion on the non-existence of god to dominate our blogging over the last day or so. Mea culpa. Robert was helpful, finally admitting that there was no proof of the existence of god which I thought had comfortably brought the discussion to a conclusion when he said:

"But to get back to the subject, I believe there is no real proof that God exists because the God that is, is outside science or the observable." - Robert the apathetic sanctimonious pork eating sinner and catholic 

Richard kind of agreed that there was no god although, being distracted, he wavered a little. I thought that it would be best, in view of there not being a god to contact, to talk to his/her/its supposed representative on earth, the Pope.

The New Zealand Catholic diocese were helpful in making the arrangements to talk, via ZOOM with Pope Francis, born Jorge Mario Bergoglio, and were enthusiastic when I showed them my school prefect badges, class photographs (they were particularly pleased at the 'P' class status), my letter from the St Patrick's College Foundation and an old school sock that I had in the back of a drawer. I didn't mention my time as a Sacristan and thought better of providing them with a link to The Religious Curmudgeon's blog.

INTERVIEW NUMBER SIX - POPE FRANCIS

The Curmudgeon: Greetings Pope Francis. Thank you for 'meeting' with me.

Il Papa : You can call me Il Papa my son if I can call you TC.

The Curmudgeon: Oh, gee, thanks Papa, I'll ...

Il Papa : Il Papa.

The Curmudgeon: Huh? Oh, I see, Il Papa, OK, um .... look, I'm part of a blogging community that discusses important things like religion, politics, music and household furniture and we ...

Il Papa : Community TC? How big is this community?

The Curmudgeon: Well, Il Papa, it's big .... it's, well now, it has three members. There's Rob....

Il Papa : Three members? Mmmm. Does this blogging community have a name?

The Curmudgeon: A name? Gee, I hadn't thought of that. I could ask the others but between you and me dad, er Il Papa that'd be like trying to get a tennis club committee to agree on something.

Il Papa : Ha ha. Yes, I know, I've got the same thing here with all of these damned (and most of them will be) cardinals. I find it best just to be autocratic and make my own decisions and enforce them. It's easier that way.

The Curmudgeon: Hey, great advice. Thanks. I could tell the others that we agreed to call the community TC AND A COUPLE OF FIDDLERS. The old guy Richard will have forgotten that we agreed on the name and Robert will buy into it as soon as I tell him that you and I discussed it.

Il Papa : Good thinking. I like it, I could borrow that for use in many of the Marist schools that we have.

The Curmudgeon: OK, let's move on Il Papa ..... look, this Il Papa thing is a bit cumbersome frankly can I call you ...

Il Papa : Frank? Surely, but don't call me Shirley. Ha ha.

The Curmudgeon: Ha ha. OK Frank, look, is there a god or not?

Il Papa : Well, that depends what you mean by god?

The Curmudgeon: Here we go. Mealy-mouthed tripe just like Robert wheels out. Can't even you give me a straight answer?

Il Papa : Look, let me finish.

The Curmudgeon: OK, the floor is yours (sotto voce) And the rest of the world according to you guys.

Il Papa : What's that my son?

The Curmudgeon: Oh, I just said best to carry on big guy.

Il Papa : Mmm, well, anyway, to proclaim God to others does not mean to "justify his existence" because "even the devil knows that God exists." Instead, the church fulfills its duty to proclaim God's love by "giving witness to the joy of knowing him. God is not the answer to an intellectual curiosity or to a commitment of the will, but an experience of love, called to become a story of love. The mystery of God is never exhausted; it is as immense as his love.

The Curmudgeon: Jesus.

Il Papa : Yes, Jesus is God as well, let me ...

The Curmudgeon: Um.. just a mo Frank, have you heard of George Carlin?

Il Papa : George? Yes, I like old George. He gets a bit bolshie sometimes but I like his style.

The Curmudgeon: Well, have you listened to his "There is no God' sketch?

Il Papa : Yeah, I loved. it, especially when he said that he prayed to Joe Pesci. I love Joe Pesci. Have you seen  Goodfellas?

The Curmudgeon: Hey! I can see what you're doing there - obfuscation, bafflement, bewilderment, confusion, discombobulation, fog, perplexity and puzzlement. All leading to stupefaction and the inquisitor tearing his hair out (what's left) and giving up.

Il Papa : H ha, right, you got me.

The Curmudgeon: Well, I guess we agree to disagree. You can believe in your silly old god as long as you stop bothering me ....oh, can you have a word with that St Pat's guy who keeps sending me those begging letters for the St Pat's Foundation?

Il Papa : That's a deal. You know that he never made the P classes. I think he's a bit disgruntled about that - they usually are.  I'd best get along, I think I'll declare that Trans people can get the operation free of charge from the Catholic Church with its blessing. That'll get the cardinals in a tizzy for a while and keep me amused.

The Curmudgeon: Ha ha, great idea. Robert will be pissed off and confused at the same time. He'll then wonder if, as you approve it, he himself should get the op. That'll keep the blogs going for a while. thanks Frank.

Il Papa : Addio.

Well, that wraps that up. Old Frank's not such a bad chap -a bit misguided still, but we'll bring him around.

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 

"THERE IS NO GOD"

JOB DONE

 We've had a bit of fun with Robert on the posts over the last two days.

The Religious Curmudgeon wrote a post  titled 'WILL THE CATHOLICS HAVE A NEW SAINT SOON?' HERE fully expecting a bit of a reaction and boy, did we get one - 27 comments which must be a record for the Religious Curmudgeon just exceeding the number of comments on the March 2018 post titled 'ANYONE WHO WENT TO ST PATRICK'S COLLEGE AND STILL THINKS THAT HE'S A CHRISTIAN IS A BIT WEIRD.' HERE. I imagine that this could only be surpassed by a post titled something like 'SAINT FAUSTINA AND JESUS CAUGHT IN A MENAGE A TROIS WITH MARY MAGDALENE'. Hey! That gives me an idea .....

Anyway, in this latest post Robert got the comments rolling with the first comment:

As you can surmise this set a challenge for me and Richard in asking Robert for an example of one of these 'multiple proofs'. What we received was some cut and paste mumbo jumbo about faith and believing and 'just shut up because we catholics know better' kind of stuff. Continuous requests for at least one simple proof were followed by fatuous answers and of course this pushed the number of comments up.*

We kept putting pressure on Robert for any sensible answer and got this:

It's a real doozy and, to me, the most telling thing in it is the opening statement: "Belief in God , we must remember is the "default" setting." It's that old Catholic stand by kind of like "I know I'm right so I won't argue". How do you argue with that?

How indeed?  Robert soon grew even more frustrated and signed off his comments with:

 Job done.

* Much to Richard (of Richard's Bass Bag's chagrin as he equates the number of comments with blog popularity. He even writes multiple comments himself to build up the numbers.

******************** UPDATE *********************

Just after I posted this I saw that Robert came back and posted a new comment on The Religious Curmudgeon's post - 28 comments now!

This was in response to our questions to him as to why his god can't communicate directly and simply with humans instead of using 2000 year old texts, burning bushes, visions via religious nutters and arcane images in the clouds, on potatoes and on tea towels for example. They were really simple questions and Richard asked a contemporary one along the lines of why couldn't his god create a miracle and save the women and children in Ukraine from being blown to bits.

Robert's answer, another question really is as silly and mealy-mouthed as we'd expect. We go around in circles with this guy. When pushed he has to admit that this all-powerful, all-seeing, all-doing and supreme being is really just invisible and probably not there. He/she/it apparently can't do anything. In being asked for another way of proving that god 'is' I'd just say - stop that fucking Ukraine war. That'd be a start.

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 SAINT ROBERT

WOODCHIPS

 First of all I wish to apologise to my readers for not updating this blog for a few days and for not following through on the promised new posts on furniture and the garden. I've been unwell - stupid health - but as I have a couple of hours to spare before having to go into town for an ultra-sound I will provide an update on the retaining wall (the furniture hasn't yet arrived and will hopefully be delivered on Wednesday. Stupid furniture company).

I'm aware that my non-posting has put undue pressure on some readers with Richard (of RBB) desperately in need of a distraction and Robert (of something or other) writing posts just for himself and desperately trying to become a saint (the Religious Curmudgeon will comment on this later).

Last Thursday the landscapers (finally) completed the task. This has taken them all of 5 months with hold-ups from Covid sickness and bad weather and The Old Girl telling them "no hurry, just come and go when you can". To be fair though they've done a nice job and it's now much tidier than it was before.

BEFORE

AFTER

Now, when I'm feeling better and The Old Girl  gets a break from work we'll back-fill with soil, woodchips and mulch and start a planting programme.

As Joni Mitchell said : "We've got to get ourselves back to the garden."

A BEAUTIFUL VERSION OF HER SONG

NEW POST - PETER'S GOLF BAG

 

LAZY BASTARDS

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 

BREAKING NEWS

HOT OFF THE PRESS

 

COMING ALONG

 I was going to wait until this retaining wall job was finished before posting but it's been happening now for 4 months and besides, Richard is getting antsy and wanting updates on the furniture status in our house so I thought that this might keep him quiet for a bit.

The builders have done quite a bit today and yesterday and have finished the roadside portion and, maybe over the next two days will finish the driveway side.

To be fair their workforce was depleted by Omicron ripping through them and we've had very variable and rainy weather for months (La Nina which may be here for another 3 years).

It'll be good to be able to back-fill with some soil and get a planting programme going.

Well, that's it but it gives me an excuse for another post when they've finished.

Don't forget about the promised furniture post which is scheduled for Saturday.

SEEING RED

 I wonder of Robert is moving away from saying silly things about religion* and now saying silly things about politics?

Here's a comment he made on Richard's latest post:

A 'left wing thingy' I guess is any informed comment or opinion generally found in legitimate media and without having any conspiracy theorising reactionary, right-wing bias.

Well, I would say that wouldn't I  since I disagree with almost everything that Robert says regarding politics, popular media, society, philosophy, history, science and civics. My response to Robert's comment was, I guess rude. I said:

I know, I know, red rag to a bull - or, maybe a red hat.

That got me to thinking what kind of red-hat wearing right wing nutter Robert would be if he lived in the good ol' US of A where he could wave that Confederate flag of his gaily.

Well, not that gaily

.

More like this.

I think that Robert would be like this guy: REDNECK IN A RED HAT

* Probably not as there is so much silly shit out there for him to regurgitate without having to put much thought into it.

ALWAYS SOMEBODY READY TO INTERFERE ISN'T THERE?

ALWAYS SOMEBODY READY TO INTERFERE ISN'T THERE?

Some anonymous person has made a complaint to the crossing administrator, saying that 'correct' procedures are not being used. Last week the administrator sent this out to patrol people:

It's been brought to my attention that correct calls are not being made before allowing your customers to cross the road. The checks and calls are imperative for the safety of both yourselves and the crossers.

The following procedures MUST be followed at all times please.

1. When safe to do so, both sides agree "Signs Out"

2. Once both barriers are out, both of you must check that cars have stopped either side, before the barrier

3. One side shouts across "Check"

4. Other side shouts "Clear"

5. Once "check" and "clear" have been called you may tell your customers to "Cross now".

So this person obviously felt incensed enough to make a complaint but didn't have the gumption to mention it to the people actually doing the work at the time. 

The 'procedure' is actually a bit naff and was designed for school children themselves to do the crossing duty, supervised by an adult, hence the rather ponderous and 'by rote' aspect of the drill. For some reason, during this pandemic WHICH IS STILL ONGOING EVEN THOUGH MANY FOOLS THINK THAT IT HAS PASSED schoolchildren haven't been involved and the adults have been manning the barricades.

As such, the adults do the job properly without shouting out all of the drill except to state clearly to the children things like "safe to cross now".

I'm a bit pissed off for several reasons:

1. There's a poor response from parents to get involved in this.Most parents, usually mothers, turn up to collect their kids and use the crossing but can't be arsed to volunteer 25 minutes of their time to assist.

2. Schoolteachers don't get involved because they are 'too busy' after classes finish.

3. I'm just about the only person still wearing a mask even though some of the volunteers have reported that they have or have had Covid.

4. Oh, and I guess here's the crunch - I don't like anonymous complainers. This person should step up and help out instead of complaining.

I've declared myself unavailable this week and next week and it's unlikely that I will return to this.

SUNDAY MORNING

 It's such a nice day today that I decided to take the kayak out for a couple of hours in the bay. I haven't been out for ages so thought I'd take advantage of the calm water and sunshine.

I 'tootled' around, crossing the bay and checking out the new boats moored. I was hoping t osee some sea critters but was rewarded only by a smattering of piper who were 'scared up' by the shadow of the kayak. Lucky for them no birds swooped down and ate them.

I alternated between leisurely paddling and hard-out racing style. When I do the racing style I, as you do, imagine that I'm competing in the Olympics. Readers will be pleased to know that I won both the heats and the semis and took gold in the final. Job done!

I made a coffee when I got back, using the Sanitarium  'Barista blend' oat milk mixed with 'blue' milk. It's delicious and made me think of a title for a new series of posts - 'HOW TO .....'. It occurred to me that many of my readers don't know how to do many things properly and are in need of a bit of instruction. They, after all, live in a place named Hutt South of which its main claim to fame is electing Trevor Mallard to parliament. Look out for the new series.

It's shaping up to be a great afternoon as well and I might get in a few holes of golf.

I hope that you're not wasting your day inside a stuffy old church listening to sermons.

.

TIME TO GO*

Trevor Mallard has always annoyed me. He was a prat as a junior politician. Annoying as a Labour MP and minister and now embarrassing as Speaker of the House.

Here's what 'Granny' Herald says about him today:

EDITORIAL

Speaker of the House Trevor Mallard's actions over recent months bear the hallmarks of a curmudgeon who has lost all sense of proportion.

In allowing parliamentary security to issue a trespass notice against a political party leader for visiting a protest on the front lawn of the Beehive, he has descended beyond farce to witless asininity.

Mallard and the protesters faced off during the mid–February encampment in what appeared to be a contest to be crowned the dumbest.

One protester stripped naked and danced in front of police officers, another painted a swastika on a statue, others planted cannabis seeds in the gardens and relieved themselves against a war memorial. Mallard ordered the lawn sprinklers be turned on in the night and played schmaltzy pop songs at high volume.

Given his job description, it was Mallard who stooped the most in the churlish tit-for-tat.

By allowing a prohibition order to be issued against NZ First leader Winston Peters, Mallard has carried on where he should have long since stopped digging himself and the Speaker's designation, into ignobility.

        - New Zealand Herald

Mallard has been around for a while having joined the Labour Party in 1972, coincidentally the same year that I canvassed for votes for Brian Edwards (although I gave my personal vote to the Values Party).

In 1983 he contested his first nomination and in 1984 won his first seat - Hamilton West. Later, in 1993 he won the Pencarrow seat in Wellington which is now Hutt South. He has been, over the years, Minister of education, state services, sport and recreation, education review office, America's Cup, energy and others. 

God

He has experience.

But, he's still a prat.

Robert

Here are just a few of the silly things that he's done.

Mallard was implicated in the resignation of Don Brash after interjecting with an allegation in the House that Brash had engaged in an extramarital affair.

In 2007, Mallard punched National Party MP Tau Henare after Henare made comments about a new relationship Mallard had formed. 

In 2008, Mallard was warned by New Zealand's Chief Electoral Officer Robert Peden that signage on his electorate vehicle breached provisions of the controversial Electoral Finance Act and ordered him to update the signage to include an authorisation from party officials. 

Mallard's handling of the education portfolio was strongly criticised by teachers' unions, including the PPTA. In his first term as minister, he was strongly criticised by teachers during a long-running strike action over salaries.

In his second term, he was criticised for a program of school closures, that involved almost 90 schools across the country. The program was eventually stopped after it faced heavy criticism from parents and teachers.

In 2002, Trevor Mallard made crude comments about inserting beer bottles into "uncomfortable places" of IRB chairman Vernon Pugh and Australian Rugby boss  John O'Neill during a radio interview about following the withdrawal of co-hosting rights for the 2003 RWC.

In  2012, Mallard was accused of ticket scalping when he sold four tickets to the  Homegrown music festival for a $246 profit. The MP had in 2006 initiated legislation, the Major Events Management Act 2007, prohibiting ticket scalping for major events. 

In 2018 Mallard decided to remove 'Jesus' from the Parliament prayer which sparked a protest of around 1000 people who argued Mallard had overstepped his authority. Mallard said he consulted with parliamentarians and found that many of them were in favour of a secular prayer where the word 'God' remained but 'Jesus' was removed.

 
In 2020, Mallard was sued by a Parliamentary worker who alleged that the Speaker had defamed him by claiming in May 2019 that a rapist was working at Parliament. The plaintiff has described these remarks as defamatory and untrue. Later Mallard apologised to the parliamentary staff member whom he accused of rape. 

At the anti-mandate protests in Wellington this year Mallard, as Speaker of the House, Mallard was unable to order the protestors to be dispersed by force, so instead responded to their refusal of them to vacate Parliament's grounds by turning sprinklers on full and setting up loud speakers playing copyrighted music and pro-vaccination messages.

This month Mallard in his capacity as Speaker of the House approved Parliament Security's issuing of 151 trespass notices against individuals who had participated in the Wellington anti-vaccine mandate protest. Five of these trespass notices were issued to former Members of Parliament; namely Matt King, Winston Peters, Rodney Hide, Marama Fox and Darroch Ball. 

Following Peters' threat to seek a judicial review of the trespass notices and media coverage, Mallard withdrew the trespass notices. 

Time to go Trevor.

* The more observant reader will have noticed that certain words, phrases and sentences have been highlighted in a different text colour. We do this so that reader Robert, of Robert the apathetic disingenuous catholic sinner and toilet cleaner won't feel left out. Robert has a limited concentration span but is interested in things to do with god, religion, women's rights (them getting too many of them) and, of course himself. We've tossed in a few of these even out of context to keep him involved. The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ likes to think of itself as an all inclusive organisation.

THANKS TO ALL OF OUR SUPPORTERS

For some time now we at The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ have been proud of the following that we have and have given our supporters comments pride of place on the main blog (The Curmudgeon)'s home page.

Richard and Robert obviously have featured but the latest comment from Robert on the post titled INTERVIEW #5  is the best and what we have been trying to achieve. 

ROBERT THE APATHETIC SANCTIMONIOUS SINNER AND TOILET CLEANER SAID:

 "I DID READ IT, JUST NOW. IT WAS A STRUGGLE BUT NOW I FEEL DIRTY."

Thanks Robert and this is our #1 accolade. 

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY - *SPECIAL VERSION FOR ROBERT*

As you may have noticed, Robert seems to have difficulty in reading long posts and needs lots of pictures to sustain his interest. He also likes mention of things like, himself, god, abortion, Jesus, church and the virgin Marry. Maybe I should, when writing future posts, create a special version (not virgin) for him.

Millionaire and CEO of a chemical company, Simon Henry made a stupid comment about My Food Bag founder Nadia Lim recently, claiming that she was "Eurasian fluff"  showing some cleavage.

Lim, of Chinese descent and a woman who probably supports the idea that women should have control over their own bodies was outraged.

There was no comment from Cardinal John Dew.

Not Cardinal Dew, but close.

The Virgin Mary was asked but provided no comment.

"No comment and please stop trying to take photographs up my dress".

"That goes for me too" - Jesus

"Robert wouldn't approve of those images" - God

"Did someone mention my name?" - Robert

I guess money doesn't make you smarter.