Wednesday, 29 November 2017


THE CURMUDGEONS INCⓒ have been working really hard over the last few weeks bringing you, our readers posts of great importance and interest. No, no need to thank us we see that as our mission (THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON would say vocation).

Tomorrow I'm we're going to Auckland for a day to have an end of year lunch with Tony and Mike.
I'll have my iPad with me so will be able to access other blog posts to write those ever sought after comments but, as writing posts on iPad is so bloody difficult I we won't be posting until Friday.

Auckland - for that geographically challenged Richard (of RBB).


A successful meeting was had with members and associate members of THE CURMUDGEON INCⓒ today.



Core members
The Curmudgeon (Chair)
The Curmudgeon Express (Secretary)
The Cultured Curmudgeon
The Food Curmudgeon
The Philosophical Curmudgeon
The Darker Curmudgeon
The Mundane Curmudgeeon
The Music Curmudgeon
The Religious Curmudgeon
The Curmudgeonly Luddite

Associate members
The Wine Guy
The Wine Guy Express
The Wine Guy New
Good Kiwi Bloke
Zweite Geige


Associate member
Bas's Bag

No apologies received:

Richard's Bass Bag
Robert's Thing

First of all a vote of thanks to The Food Curmudgeon for provision of the delicious meat loaf sandwiches and to The Wine Guy for that outstanding Hawkes Bay Chardonnay. The cleanskin white wine laid on for the non-associates (I don't know why it was laid on - that only warms it up) is unused since they didn't show up and did not send in apologies. Very Rude. We will retain this for use as a cleaning aid or as an insect killer.

Members were very pleased to review the blogging figures and to learn that they far exceeded other blog associations in terms of quantity, quality, variety and reader interest. Well done to everyone.

The THE CURMUDGEON INCⓒ logo was not accepted so we will have to go back to the drawing board on this one. Literally we will have to draw our own as the offerings from the web are unsatisfactory. The Curmudgeon Express will investigate the possibility of investing in a cartoon creation app or software and will report at the next meeting.

The THE CURMUDGEON INCⓒ badges were a success and proved very useful for identification at the bar. The Wine Guy and his beverage team would have found it very difficult identifying members without this form of ID. Thank you to the Curmudgeonly Luddite for providing these. Everything doesn't have to be digital Ha ha.

Unfortunately Bas of Bas's Bag did not arrive but he did telephone in his apology. As he doesn't have FaceTime on his computer he was going to ride here but saddle sores from his bike proved to be a limiting factor. Get well soon Bas.

We had correspondence from Capitano R. Testore, Officer in Charge of RBB Blog Police threatening
THE CURMUDGEON INCⓒ of some investigation. We have successfully dealt with this correspondence via SPAM filter.

There was some discussion of blog frequency and blogging priority. Let it be known that The Chair and The secretary do not have any favourites when it comes to posting posts. As long as the post is written it will be published - just send it through to The Curmudgeon. This could mean a minimum of 16 blog posts a day if you all get off your arses bother to get the creative juices flowing. Let's do this!

Meeting closed at 3PM for afternoon tea and drinks.


Tuesday, 28 November 2017




Good news THE CURMUDGEON INCⓒ members. We have reached our target of 10 primary members well under our target date. Thanks for all the support and input.

We will have a special meeting tomorrow (Facetime for those who cannot make the Northland venue) where we will discuss the results so far and plan our next campaign(s).

Associate members are most welcome - the three Wine Guys, Zweite Geige, Good Kiwi Bloke and of course Bas.

Non-associate members are also invited to the open sessions but due to seating space problems we must limit Richards Bass Bags to one representative and Robert must come as one identity only. The RBB Blog Police cannot unfortunately be accommodated as we will be unable to provide Italian to English translation services since the budget has been used to employ  a spelling, grammar and word meaning expert to assist Robert should he attend. Richard will be able to update Capitano Testicles later.

Please study the following sales graphs before attending as this will be the basis of discussion:



We will also be unveiling the new THE CURMUDGEON INCⓒ logo and point of sale and promotional material (P.O.S. and PROMAT). Here is a preview of the logo.

Attached are ID badges for you to wear.

For CURMUDGEON INC. members and Associate members:

Wearing this badge will allow the wearer to unlimited quantities of Hawkes Bay Chardonnay at the bar

For non-Associate members

Wearing this badge entitles the wearer to two complementary cleanskin  white wines at the bar

Monday, 27 November 2017


Now We've all had trouble with computers, TVs, refrigerators, toasters, radios and electric double basses (well the last is debatable) - it's just a fact of modern living. But should it be? The time is nigh for all those smart-arsed tech bastards to get a swift kick up their smart-arsed arses.

Thankfully THE CURMUDGEONS INCⓒ has long realised this problem and have now, for your reading pleasure devised a new blog THE CURMUDGEONLY LUDITE.

Don't thank us as it was that occasional blogger Robert-of-the-whatever-the-fuck-ID-he's-going by-this week who drew attention to the fact that those bastard geeks and nerds were holding up the important blogging process.

Anyway, without fanfare and further ado as time is of the importance here is the new blog:


The Wine Guy (associate member of THE CURMUDGEONS INCⓒ) has also been suffering from cabin fever and started drinking at 4.30.

He wrote this new post which is actually worth reading. Check out the links. Robert should like the track See you don't bump his head  on the Bish Bosch link as he likes
 to make annoying drumming noises .

re Links (bastards).

Try going here:



I drove The Old Girl into town this morning to catch the bus for Auckland. We had coffee and scones at a cafe in town, she got on the bus and I headed back home.
Monday is rubbish collection day in our area and driving along I saw some jokers putting out their rubbish. I noted some of the newbies - newbies are those Aucklanders who have sold up and moved up here after reaching retirement age. I'm an oldbie having done that nearly 10 years ago.
One of the interesting thing about newbies is the way they dress. There is always a forced attempt to look casual but for ex middle-managers who always dressed in suits and ties for a working day it doesn't come easy.

The result is quite farcical.
Not like this

Not like this

More like this

One guy I saw looked like an accountant or finance director. He was wearing an ironed T-shirt, shorts with a crease in them, knee length socks and sandals. Ridiculous. The outfit screamed 'newbie'.

Sunday, 26 November 2017





Lying in bed this morning, reading, drinking tea and cuddling with The Old Girl I thought about how other people should be spending their Sunday morning whether they are religious or not. I tried not to be hassled by Richard (of RBB) who had obviously got up early to watch his house paint dry and to annoy his neighbours with double bass sounds. I then thought that what the world needs is a PHILOSOPHICAL CURMUDGEON BLOG.

So, here it is - the first post on the new blog.

Please enjoy.

Friday, 24 November 2017


THE CURMUDGEON EXPRESS informs me that he's written a new post (thanks Curmudgeon Express).

You can view it here:


.....then Kiwi blokes would save a fortune.

I had a haircut today at one of those quick turnaround barbers. The guy cutting my hair was pretty rough, but good. He was Northern Irish but I didn't get to talk to him about sectarian politics, the film The Journey that we saw recently or about Van Morrison's music - in fact we didn't say anything at all.
I was actually quite pleased at this as I hate it when you get one of those chatty barbers and you have to sort of go along with what he's saying whether it's about politics, religion or sex because he's the one standing behind you with sharp implements just by your head.

It was the barber next to me who was extremely chatty, rambling on about music (not double basses or violins), films and god knows what else. The guy whose hair he was cutting responded with a series of ..."Yep". "Too right". "No worries". "Yeah". "Sort of". Yeah nah" etc. It was like having the late Fred Dagg sitting there saying "Yeah Gidday" and "Story".

My barber was going furiously at my hair and I could feel it getting shorter and shorter. Now I've lost a lot of hair but The Old Girl likes me to keep what's left at a medium level. It grows wildly out at the sides and back but has retreated (like the Eyeties at El Agheila in WW2) at the top. It's like my Curmudgeon image at the left.
I thought that I'd be in trouble when I picked The Old Girl up from the bus tonight and sure enough when he'd finished and showed me with a flourish what he'd done and asked me what I thought my worst fears were realised. I said "I've changed my mind, can you put it back". He looked at me strangely and passed me on to the cashier who robbed me of $24.


Before I went to the barbers I visited Harvey Norman's for the Black Friday sale. Luckily I didn't get scalped twice today as the tv I bought was a real bargain. It cost $799 down from nearly $1300. I'd been researching these and knew that there was no better price to be had for a new one.

It's a 'smart' tv which I know sounds like an oxymoron but I wanted something that would serve more as a monitor rather than a TV. Monitors though, of the size I wanted are hellishly expensive so we decided to do the TV thing. We don't have TV up north and have got out of the habit of watching it. We only watch films or TV series through the computer via Netflix, Lightbox or TV on demand which means that we only 'fire the machine up' when there is something we really want to watch otherwise it stays silent and we read or listen to music or National Programme on the radio.

The problem is though that even though I've been doing this through the 24" Apple mac, which is OK when I'm watching it by sitting at the table, when the two of us are watching from armchairs the screen just isn't big enough.

The other problem is that I've had the computer set up in the dining area at the dining table and have gradually built up piles of files and paper and all the crap that congregates around a computer. The Old Girl hasn't been pleased with this. The computer can now go back into the study where it belongs.

The smart tv I bought doesn't need to be connected to aerials or satellite dishes as it has WiFi connectivity. The sellers assured me that all I had to do was plug it in and the TV would basically sort itself out and I'd be up and running.

Yeah right.

As usual I unpacked the bloody thing, put it together, located it after moving the stereo system (which we hardly use anymore since we've been using iPods) and plugged it in. I strolled through the settings ....and strolled....and strolled and couldn't get the fucking thing to work. I really thought that I'd been misled and did internet searches on set-ups which were all horror stories about other people never getting their smart TVs to work. I got onto a chat link with the manufacturers and was told a different set of instructions than either the manual or the 'smart arse' tv's menu was telling me.
After about 2 and a half hours I got frustrated and just pressed random buttons when, bingo, it worked. I'm now up and running and can show The Old Girl when she arrives tonight. This smart tv doesn't need to be linked to a computer. I can access Netflix, Lightbox, TV on demand, You Tube, Google and lots of other programmes and channels direct. via the Broadband WiFi we have in the house.

I set it up in a corner of the room away from the lounge seating area so as not to dominate the lounge.
We will only turn it on when we want to watch something decent - I hate those houses where there's a tv blasting away when no-ones watching it and I've given up on the crap news programmes we have today - Mike Hoskings Ugh!.

Stuck away in a corner whee it belongs

No doubt Lynn will make other arrangements and I'll be moving furniture around but I think I did good today.

Pity about the haircut.

Thursday, 23 November 2017


I can't remember if I have a GARDENING CURMUDGEON - it's getting hard to keep track.

It's been an outstanding day here with blue sky and lots of sunshine.
After the heat of the sun had died down a bit and after 6PM I watered my vegetable garden.
I noticed that some little bastard snails have been eating into my broccoli, spinach and lettuces.

Little bastards. Little though, not like those ones that apparently are eating Richard's house.

I decided to get rid of them but I don't like killing them. My solution was to pick them up and toss them over the fence into my neighbours property.

Mean? Well, normally yes but this is the guy who owns the house next door and uses it as a holiday house as they have their main house in Auckland. Recently they demolished their garage and have had builders in building what I assumed was a newer garage. Assumed because this inconsiderate joker didn't bother discussing anything with us. The builders have been ages and I was wondering what sort of garage he was building until today when the framing went up. It's huge with what looks like an extra storey on top (granny flat?Air B&B apartment?). It's at the back of their house and of course out the back of our line of sight except for the rear kitchen where it will slightly block the view of the mountain behind us. Big deal? No, not really that's just part of life nowadays but I'm annoyed at the lack of courtesy. If we were building something like that we would let the neighbours on both sides know even if we didn't need their consent.

Meanwhile he's going to be getting a shit load of snails and (Robert's) god knows what else.


Poor old Richard (of RBB) must have stayed up too late watching B-Grade horror movies.
When I mentioned that insects were eating my mail it triggered off some fantasy of his that giant slugs are taking over his house. See his comments in my blog post here:



At least we hope that these images are in his head and not a portrayal of what's happening out there in his house in Nuova Lazio


THE CURMUDGEONS INCⓒ is pleased to announce the incorporation of three more associate members.

While THE CURMUDGEONS INCⓒ at core is an incorporation of the various curmudgeons who have different areas of special interest the incorporation also allows other blog members to be involved as 'associate members' - see The Wine Guys (3).

The new members to now have associate member status (more frequent posting, easy links service with active photo access, attendance at THE CURMUDGEONS INCⓒ meetings and parties official functions etc)ⓒ are:



The Old Girl rang to see what I was doing and I confessed to blogging. There was a silence on the phone eventually broken by "are you sure you're not doing too much of that my love?".
I explained that I'd created so many new blogs that I had to spend a lot of time keeping them up to date. I further explained that all my readers some readers a reader had been complaining that the posts weren't being refreshed enough. There was further silence on the phone.

The fact is that although I now have quite a few blogs (8 Curmudgeons, 3 Wine Guys and 3 miscellaneous) I feel that I need some more and, whenever I write a post on a particular blog I worry that the blog's name and theme might not be appropriate for that post.

A few years ago I replicated Robert's and Richard's blogs by doing a copy of them and registering under new blogger addresses but found this to be unsatsfying for several reasons:

  1. The readership for those original blogs is so low
  2. I don't have enough technical music knowledge to impersonate Richard for long
  3. I can only witter on about christianity and pretend to believe its arcane teachings for a short time
  4. My sense of reality and my grammatical teachings began to suffer
  5. I couldn't put my own stamp on the blogs as I was pretending to be those old crazies.

I'll try to keep the current ones up to date but will have to lie to The Old Girl. Fortunately she doesn't read my blogs and, unless she's staring into my eyes I might be able to get away with the lie. She would be able to create a good blog and write very good posts - better than me anyway - but she's very busy with work. Maybe when she retires in a couple of years I can get her to do it.

That goes too for Mike and Tony who would be good bloggers but Tony is busy with work and Mike is busy with doing his Masters at university.

In the interim I'll have to fill the void with new blogs. Now, I've got a new idea ............


It's lunchtime on a sunny day up north and THE FOOD CURMUDGEON has written a new post:



Well, in the case of the church and Australia it's not really 'news' but THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON discovered this story about a controversial statue in an Adelaide school.

Wednesday, 22 November 2017


I'm not long back from my little trip away from the cabin.

THE MUNDANE CURMUDGEON has a new post. See here:


NEW POST -  CHECK OUT ....... umm, sorry, the post is on this blog. I get a bit confused with all the sub-blogs in THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ.

Of course an unkind person might suggest that this Post is more suited to THE MUNDANE CURMUDGEON but personally I think that it's more interesting than that.

Hey! I just had a thought - I could rent out space on my blogs for other bloggers to use for example that latest Post by Angry Jesus would be very well suited to THE MUNDANE CURMUDGEON. Check it out if you have trouble sleeping:


I'm using crutches to get around this week after damaging my knee last week. That's not a great problem but being unable to go out walking, play tennis golf or bowls and do some gardening is becoming annoying and I'm starting to suffer from 'cabin fever' and am going 'stir crazy'.

The Old Girl, when she left for Auckland yesterday gave me strict instructions not to do any of the activities mentioned above and to make sure that I use at least one crutch when walking about the house. Of course I ignored her advice and last night when walking down the hallway without crutches my knee sort of gave way on me. Bloody painful and it gave me a scare so I've put the pressure bandage back on and am using a crutch again.

It's boring though. I'm reading, listening to an audio-book, checking out blogs etc. but need to be doing something else.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be at a Civil Defence training exercise but had to cancel out of this as I'd just be in the way.

Today I might check out what films are on at the local cinema. I'd really like to see the new Blade Runner film so hope that it's on. While in town I might check out the Noel Leeming store as I was sent a discount voucher and special offer to old buggers for cost plus 5%. I want to buy a smart TV that I can run my computer through (we don't get TV reception here and I don't wish to subscribe to SKY again), or buy a large screen monitor. I think that they will have a Black Friday sale this week as well so I'll check out things first.


Tuesday, 21 November 2017



Announcing the creation of a new blog - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

The idea was initiated by Richard of Richard's Bass Bag which is a.... never mind, you've probably never heard of it. Anyway, thanks Richard.

I'd been thinking recently of ceasing any posts or comments on religion, particularly that form of christianity practised by Robert who has an even more obscure blog than Richard. Robert, who is an educated idiot idiosyncratic person for some bizarre reason believes in the teachings of the catechism which is kind of like a more unbelievable form of Grimm's or Aesop's fables.

I then thought, prompted by Richard (who?) Richard of Richard's Bass Bag (what?) - that as no doubt Robert will write something silly soon about holy ghosts, gods hiding in boxes and some mythical being creating the universe in less than a week, that I'd get annoyed and be forced to respond so it would be better to isolate those responses in a separate blog. This blog would act like a quarantine area separate from the others.

So, last night, fuelled by some nice wine (Villa Maria 2017 Hawkes Bay Rose) I created this new blog:

Look out for news, articles and some spleen venting in due course.

Monday, 20 November 2017


We may have some exciting news to tell soon re a new blog under the CURMUDGEONS INC. umbrella - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON but as the curmudgeons have been imbibing a bit this afternoon and evening - Villa Maria Rose kindly provided by THE WINE GUY and as he has bothered to write a post about this wine we will put off THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON launch until tomorrow.

Meantime here is THE WINE GUY's new post:


After a wet and windy weekend - a big branch off one of our trees fell down next to the deck but no chairs were blown over fortunately- Monday morning is calm and sunny. It's perfect for walking, golfing, kayaking or tennis but....I can't do any of that as I'm still hobbling about with the aid of crutches.
I tried to do without the crutches entirely but The Old Girl who doesn't go back to Auckland until this afternoon gave me a bollocking - "You won't make it any better doing macho stuff like that Matey!" - so I'm experimenting with just one crutch.

I'll have to drive her into town for the bus later (luckily our car is an automatic) but in the interim I'll read and write some posts. Richard's was predictable. I knew that he'd delete his comments and apologise to Robert for being vitriolic. Mind you, Robert's annoying 'born again' evangelism can be infuriating. I rise to the bait on this myself and have to try to stop myself reacting but often it's hard not to scream for reality and common sense in face of this religious nonsense and claptrap.


I got distracted by having to feed the cat and now I've run out of things to say. This could have been a CURMUDGEON EXPRESS post or even a MUNDANE CURMUDGEON.
(Sigh) - so many curmudgeons but I'll have to GET cracking if I want to get over 100 posts written before the end of the month.

Sunday, 19 November 2017


An old bugger blogger I know suggested that THE CURMUDGEONS aren't posting enough.

See here:


Well of course I was miffed at this but then decided to do some checking.
I looked at all posts made by THE CURMUDGEONS INCⓒ since 1 November - less than 3 weeks.


TOTAL - 65

In comparison the tired and saggy old THE BASS BAGGING CONFEDERATION has posted far fewer posts since 1 November:

RBB Blog Police - 4
All other rag-tag blogs - 0

TOTAL - 27.


The clear winner in quantity, and it goes without saying, quality, is THE CURMUDGEONS INCⓒ.

And the month hasn't finished yet.

You get much better value at THE CURMUDGEONS INCⓒ, we might even introduce some BOGOF's yet for Christmas.

Friday, 17 November 2017


I've decided to revive the Post Series 'THE NICEST PEOPLE I'VE KNOWN' because, well because I can and I have time on my hands since I can't go out to play as I have a sore leg.

That saying 'time on my hands is interesting'.

To have "time on your hands" is an idiom that means simply you have time in which to do anything you like. Time, of course, cannot be held in the hands, so the word hands is a metaphor which means to have, or to possess. An equivalent expression would be. "I have plenty of free time."  - from Stack

I think THE MUNDANE CURMUDGEON could investigate and elaborate on that for your edification.

Anyway, I wrote this post back in February and it looked promising as I've met a lot of nice people but it attracted a lot of negative comments - many of them from me- see here:

Which resulted in Part 2 being cancelled. See here:

I think the concept is worthwhile but I'll keep away from religious people this time.



When we moved to Christchurch in 1995 (as part of my work) we didn't know anyone. I have relatives in the South Island but they were in South Canterbury and Marlborough, not Christchurch. We lived briefly in Merivale in an old brick villa we rented for a couple of months I think. I remember the first weekend there we experienced a fairly severe earthquake. The walls were moving and we thought the roof would fall in on us. This was a bit of a surprise to us as we were unaware that Christchurch was an active earthquake zone - we certainly had that notion destroyed 16 years later.

One Friday evening when I was waiting for my fish and chips at the local chippie I spied an ideal property to buy in the real estate window next door. As we were going to Blenheim the next morning I rang the real estate agent that night and said we were interested. The property was ideal, we viewed the next week, put an offer in and bought and moved in a few weeks later. It was a great property next to Riccarton race course , was a 1930's 2-storey bungalow and had nearly an acre of established gardens, lawns and trees. We enjoyed our ownership of this and kept it even after we returned to Auckland in 2000, only selling it in 2005.

Working in Christchurch was very enjoyable and I discovered that most people didn't work weekends as I'd become used to in Auckland where everyone I knew seemed to duck into work on a Saturday or Sunday to 'catch up' on things. In Christchurch weekend sports, gardening and relaxing was sacred (oops - a religious expression).
I learned the pleasure of mowing lawns, trimming trees, cutting firewood and generally enjoying the property. The Old Girl set up many different gardens at various points. We had a long meandering driveway, a fishpond, council-registered protected trees, an unusual South American plant that flowered once every two years and to which the Christchurch horticultural society members would come to visit, and, as mentioned we had garden 'islands' scattered about.

Not long after we'd moved in there was a knock on the door and an elderly chap introduced himself as our neighbour Wes. He was in his 80s but was still fit and active and was looking for things to do. He and his wife Mary kept a magnificent garden in their property next door but he was well on top of that. He pointed out a large uncultivated area next to our garages and asked if I minded if he put a vegetable garden in. As I'm not much of a gardner and had no thoughts of using that patch I told him sure, go for it. I assumed that Wes was looking to have a vegetable garden for himself.

During the week while we were at work Wes would toil away, digging, fertilising, seeding and cultivating this garden. It was a show piece with all sorts of seasonal vegetables growing nicely.
One day he brought us some cauliflower or other winter vegetable and I thanked him. He explained that he'd staggered the planting of all the varieties so that we could pick and use when they were ready. At that point the penny dropped - he'd put the vegetable garden in for us. I told him that he should use as much as he wanted but he laughed and took me to his property and showed me his own vegetable garden behind the house that I hadn't seen before even though we'd visited for afternoon or morning tea several times.

Wes and his wife Mary were great neighbours. They were quiet, friendly and helpful. Sadly Wes, for all his fitness was diagnosed with a nasty form of cancer in 1999 and died very quickly. Mary, who was only a few years younger than Wes was still living in their house when we left but has most likely passed on by now.

In this Post I make a mention of Wes and Mary and their Saturday night ritual of listening to music and dancing - the only times that we heard any noise from their property.

Wes and Mary, you are both living in our memories.


I like John Oliver. His retakes of the news are insightful and very funny. Have a look via the link below at his latest review of Facebook...