INTERVIEW #38

This post was inspired by Richard who irreverently refers to one of Robert's gods as 'God the Farter'.

No doubt Richard was one of those schoolboy wags who recited "Our Father who farts in heaven" when he was at Mass.

This got me thinking as to whether there is a patron saint or a god of farting and discovered Matshishkapeu, a prominent, culturally revered, and highly humorous figure from the oral mythologies of the Innu people of Arctic Canada. Often literally translated as "The Fart Man" he is known for:

• Controlling the Caribou Master: In one of the most famous legends, the Caribou Master (the spirit who controlled the food animals) greedily withheld food and starved the Innu. Matshishkapeu intervened, cursed the Caribou Master with a cripplingly painful case of constipation until he relented, and ultimately gave the Innu the game they needed to survive.
• Communicating through Gas: The Innu historically believed that every flatulent roar and rumble made by the spirit contained a cryptic but important message. 
• The "Fart of Creation": The concept of ruling/creating the world with flatulence is also heavily tied to the trickster Wakdjunkaga in the traditional mythology of the Winnebago (Ho-Chunk) Native American people. In their creation cycle, Wakdjunkaga scatters all living creatures across the face of the earth and scatters their possessions to the four corners of the world through one enormous expulsion.

          Thanks Wikipedia.

Wow! Now there's a guy worthy of being interviewed. I decided to contact Matshishkapeu as interviewee in INTERVIEW #38.

The Curmudgeon: Hi Matshiskapeu and welcome to The Curmudgeon's Interview Series.

Matshishkapeu: Thanks The Curmudgeon and congratulations on the longevity of this interesting and informative series. As a god of course I'm well aware of your blog and its contribution to education and culture.

The Curmudgeon: Gee, that's nice Matshiskapeu ... can I call you Mats?

Matshishkapeu: Ha ha - call me Mate if you like, I know that you're antipodean. I'll call you TC.

The Curmudgeon: OK Mate. Let's crack on ...

Matshishkapeu: ... Um, TC, speaking of which, where's the ... you know ...

The Curmudgeon: ... Mmmm? Oh, the bathroom? We've got two upstairs and one downstairs. I suggest you use the one downstairs - and open a window Mate! 

Matshishkapeu: Will do TC. I'll pop-pop-pop down there now ha ha.

The Curmudgeon: OK we'll .... Sheesh almighty! What's that pong? Oh ....

Matshishkapeu: I'm back TC. I opened the sliding door to the courtyard as well as the bathroom window. Caribou is nice and filling but it ... you know?

The Curmudgeon: Yes, I do know now. Look Mate, I've been reading up on you and want to know why you're so popular especially among the Innu of Eastern Quebec and Labrador?

Matshishkapeu: Mmm, yes, I've heard it said that I have an “unusual omnipresence” which makes me an especially unique mythological being. 

The Curmudgeon: Omnipresence - you mean like being everywhere?

Matshishkapeu: That's it TC - I can see that you were in 3P. It's said that I'm everywhere, both inside the tent and outside. I'm always with you no matter where you may travel.

The Curmudgeon: Well I was certainly aware of you just before boyo and god (sorry) knows what the neighbours think.

Matshishkapeu: Sorry TC, it's in my nature.

The Curmudgeon: I read that you are famous for 'conversing' with the Innu with great frequency especially while they are hunting, trapping and fishing.  

Matshishkapeu: Ha ha - yes, they see me as a fun god and my “popping up” at inopportune moments makes them laugh.

The Curmudgeon: Yeah funny (gets up to open a couple of windows) but it could be dangerous couldn't it if you suddenly appear and let a big one rip when the Innu are involved in a life-threatening hunt?

Matshishkapeu: Yeah, that happens especially if a polar bear is involved.

The Curmudgeon: Wow!

Matshishkapeu: You're impressed TC - so are the Innu hunters when a polar bear presses down on them.

The Curmudgeon: No Mate. I'm impressed at how bloody stinky your farts are. WTF?

Matshishkapeu: Sorry, maybe I'd better ... oops, oh shit, I've ...

The Curmudgeon: Fuck! That's The Old Girl's fancy armchair - the one I'm not allowed to sit in. You've  ... oh Mate you'd better go - and quickly.

Matshishkapeu: Toodles TC. No coffee then?

The Curmudgeon: Definitely no coffee. Hey! Richard will have some for you. His address is ...

BEEP BEEP

 I'm up early because I need to take Shelley's car for a warrant check in Seaview. Oops, that's that other joker who surpasses me in boring post writing.

No, I'm taking our car in to Toyota Kent Terrace early on Monday morning for its yearly check-up and W.O.F. I have to be there by 8AM! Is there such a time? I'll have to leave just after 7.30 in case early morning traffic is heavy.

We pay to get the car thoroughly checked once a year by authorised Toyota dealers. This gives peace of mind and can prevent costly repairs later. Vehicle safety is important and worth the once a year cost. This time might be a bit more expensive as last year the Whangarei Toyota team alerted me to the fact that new tyres would be needed for the next W.O.F. I won't be buying expensive tyres, just safe and hopefully cheaper ones as we hardly use the car and certainly not for long trips like Robert frequently takes. I hope that he keeps his car properly maintained.

I hope that you found this interesting.

Oh, here's a funny cartoon for Richard. He likes funny music-themed cartoons.

NEW POST - PETER'S GOLF BAG

 Due to the success of BERHAMPORE GOLF COURSE (PART ONE) post PETER'S GOLF BAG has followed up with another post:

BERHAMPORE GOLF COURSE (PART TWO)

Enjoy.

NEW POST - PETER'S GOLF BAG

 Peter's Golf Bag has a new post BERHAMPORE GOLF COURSE (PART ONE)

It looks like this might be a short series.

NEW POST - THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT

 The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt has written a new post: 

SO KISS ME AND SMILE FOR ME

I FOUND MY MOJO ...

 

... and my No. 4 wood!

The Old Girl cajoled me into playing golf today and I'm glad that I did. It was a wonderful afternoon - sunny, warm and windless.

After being very disappointed with my playing the last few times I went out, today I hit straight drives off the seven holes I played, did some nice approach shots and putted well enough to get three pars and four bogeys (one overs). This bore no resemblance to my embarrassingly bad performance when I played with Robert a while back (although I suspect his prayers to Jesus and his mother helped in that).

Today I didn't lose a ball and found that someone had handed in the golf club that I thought I'd lost a couple of weeks ago.

Yeah baby, yeah!

 Robert posted an image of the Banksy marching man statue today. 

This is a brilliant piece of political satire aimed at misplaced patriotism and should also be on display outside Congress, the Senate and the White House in Washington D.C.

It's also a step forward (hopefully not off his plinth) for Robert who recently seems to be shrugging off his reactionary and right wing sympathies. What's next? A rejection of Catholicism?

The statue made me think about statues and how they can influence thought and political consciousness - not always in a good way. It's a massive subject though and I don't have time to cover it in any detail (The Old Girl calls ne a lazy bugger) so to follow are a few personal observations.

We all know about the recent removal (and reinstatement) of American Civil War 'hero' statues in USA depending on the political ideology of the presidential administration of the times and have seen similar criticisms and removals of statues in New Zealand that have odious colonial implications.

Removal of Robert E. Lee statue in Richmond Virginia.

Removal of Captain John Hamilton statue: In June 2020, the Hamilton City Council removed the bronze statue of British naval Captain John Fane Charles Hamilton from Civic Square. 

Both of those statues and what they represent were rightfully removed in my view.

We've been exposed to iconic images of destroyed statues that underscore the collapse of mostly fascist and authoritarian regimes ...

Joseph Stalin

Adolph Hitler

Saddam Hussein

... and are likely to see soon the scrapping of images of Donald Trump ...

... although most of the replicas have been, like Banksy's one, examples of political satire:

OK, back to me, some statues that have concerned me over my years have been these:

Queen Victoria

The Queen Victoria Monument on Cambridge Terrace/Kent Terrace in Wellington is imposing. Some see it as an important expression of the values of New Zealand’s colonial past but obviously others see it as a symbol of the darker side of colonisation and Victorian morality. As a child walking past this I was a bit scared as it was dark and creepy. I've never liked it.

New Zealand Wars memorial Wakefield Street Auckland

This memorial commemorates imperial and Maori troops during the New Zealand Wars who were allied with British forces. It is blatantly authoritarian and no wonder that it's been the scene of Maori protest in recent years.

There are many more examples of statuary and monuments that get up my nose particularly war memorial ones that incorporate ridiculous god and angels motifs but ... that's for another day and, as I said, I'm a lazy bugger.

Just to show that I'm not always complaining though here's a statue that I've always liked and remember admiring it (the original) when it was in the Wellington railway station foyer.

Painted plaster original in Wellington railway station

The Kupe Statue (formally known as The Coming of the Māori), was sculpted by William Thomas Trethewey. It depicts the legendary Polynesian explorer Kupe, his wife Hine-te-Apārangi, and the tohunga Pekahourangi on their canoe, Matahourua, at the moment they discovered New Zealand. 

History of the Statue
1940 Centennial Exhibition: The original 6.78-meter sculpture was created out of painted plaster for the 1940 New Zealand Centennial Exhibition.
Wellington Railway Station: Following the exhibition, the statue was too large for its intended home at the Dominion Museum, so it was moved to the foyer of the Wellington Railway Station. It stood there for nearly four decades and unfortunately suffered damage and vandalism.
Relocation: In 1985/1986, it was moved to the Wellington Showgrounds before being placed into storage at the Museum of New Zealand Te Papa Tongarewa 

Where is it now?
In 1999, the original plaster statue was successfully cast into bronze. This bronze version was unveiled on the Wellington Waterfront (Taranaki Street Wharf) in March 2000, where it remains today. 

 Getting back to Robert's post which triggered this post I note that he had actually totally misrepresented Banksy's political satire and adapted it to match his idiotic Catholic beliefs. See what he wrote below.

Oh well,  plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.

 

WELL THAT WAS SUNDAY

 It's been a day of two halves really with this morning and early afternoon being sunny and warm but in the mid to late afternoon, just when I was planning to head off to tennis the cloud came over and it's threatening rain.

I'll stay inside and prepare my dinner - Spaghetti alla Puttanesca which is an Italian pasta sauce made with tomato, olives, capers, anchovies and garlic. Yummy! The Old Girl is making some yucky thing with haloumi and eggplant for herself. As far as I'm concerned my dish will be the winner.

I won't be having any wine with dinner this evening as Richard and Shelley came around yesterday and made us drink too much. I might go the week without any as well.

We went for a long walk this morning going first to the Home Show at Hnry Stadium (boring) and then around town. I'm enjoying Wellington very much.

That's it from me. I've got a sore tooth and will go to the dentist as soon as I can get an appointment.

Robert's been conducting financial business in church today expressly against his god's wishes so he'd better watch out when he goes to The Philippines as they are rabid catholics over there.

Richard has been practising his fiddle I think and limiting his bathroom visits to piddles. He might have done this for the rhyming opportunity since he doesn't have a sitar or a gong.

It looks like the rain is here. Bye.

WHEN PROFANITY CAME TO THORNDON

OK, I hear some of you readers saying: 

"But The Curmudgeon, Parliament is in Thorndon and we've heard many of those cunts calling other members "cunts" - what's new about that?"

I accept that but point out the existence of the rule of Parliamentary Privilege which encompasses special legal rights, immunities, and powers granted to the House of Representatives and its members that ensure that they can perform their democratic functions without fear of legal consequences. Normally, in Thorndon where I live our members of the community who are not protected by Parliamentary Privilege show gentility and express friendly greetings to our neighbours.

"So what happened in Thorndon today The Curmudgeon?"  at least one of you readers asked.

Richard came to lunch.

"Oh no!" 

Yes, yes but he did come with his lovely wife Shelley so it could have been worse.

"What did he do, The Curmudgeon?"

He called your friend and informative blogger a cunt!

"What? A cunt?" 

Yes, I'm sorry to have to confirm that but he called your friend and informative blogger who has your best interests at heart a cunt. Imagine that?

"That's terrible The Curmudgeon. Did anyone overhear?"

Well that's the thing loyal reader(s), he said that at the dinner table seated next to The Old Girl who is The Curmudgeon's fiercest supporter.

"Whoo - so it didn't go down well for him then?"

Like a lead balloon loyal reader(s), like a lead balloon. 

The Old Girl ripped into him with a lecture on how women consider it one of the most offensive, derogatory terms in the English language. They view it as a weapon used to oppress women, reduce them to their genitals, and promote internalised misogyny. To give Richard some credit he bowed his head and seemed to be contrite (although he may have nodded off given his age and everything). Shelley, Richard's wife also gave Richard a bollocking and agreed with The Old Girl.

Richard, under attack from both sides looked over to me for help. I told him that he was on his own there.

****************

But we had a nice lunch,

How did your day go? 

 

FRIDAY IS SHOPPING DAY

 

I'm off to the shops soon with The Old Girl as she is having today off work.

Actually, she has decided to cut her working week down to 4 days with the idea of having most Fridays off.

We will do a 'wine run' meaning that we will have to drive to several wine outlets to stock up the cellar. The local supermarket is good but doesn't stock enough of the zinfandels and Primitivos that she likes. 

We will likely visit Glengarry, Moore Wilson, Big Barrel and Regional Wines and buy a cross section of the aforementioned zinfandels and Primitivos along with some Californian and Hawkes Bay chardonnay plus any pinot noirs of interest.

I suspect that she will want to visit at least one furniture shop to look for a couple of armchairs to replace my 'manky old ones' that we have in the lounge.

*************** 

OK, that's done. We went to all three of those wine shops and will now have to take out an overdraft to pay for the wine (with labels on them) that we bought.

We also went to three furniture shops and couldn't agree on any new chairs. My 'manky old ones' are safe at present but The Old Girl saw an advertisement for a furniture show at Hnry Stadium this weekend. I guess we'll be going to that.

The supermarket shopping has been done but I forgot to get some little pies for Richard. He'll have to make do with salmon flan and salads.

We are now heading out (again) to Lighthouse cinema to see a documentary film Sgt Haane about Sergeant Haane Manahi DCM of B Company, 28th Māori Battalion whose actions proved pivotal in the 1943 battle for the fortified summit of Takrouna, Tunisia. My dad was there as a sergeant in the Divisional Cavalry so I'm keen to see this.