NEW POST - THE FOOD CURMUDGEON

 

RHUBARB, RHUBARB, RHUBARB

HEY HO!

 

When it's raining heavily like this morning I drive The Old Girl to work and or pick her up in the evening.

I swear though that she's getting more and more like Hyacinth Bucket in her 'back-seat driving'.

As the blog readers struggle with reading long posts it's necessary to alternate with simple posts ideally accompanied by video clips, cartoons, pretty pictures or promises of things to be won.

GREAT TOWN*

 * What the person who named Greytown probably intended if his spelling was as atrocious as Robert's is.

***************

Richard has picked up a bug.

You just never know what those Wainuiomartians will get up to next.

With luck he'll get up to Greytown on Saturday provided he leaves a day early. Mind you, he lives so far out in the wop wops he's halfway to the wire-wrapper Wairarapa already.

I hope the old guy gets better before his trip and, if not, he uses a mask when socialising.

I've had some sort of a cold for over a week now with similar symptoms to the one he describes. I must have picked it up on a bus trip or at the picture theatre Sunday week ago. I must try and remember to wear a mask when I do this. I do recall some idiot sneezing and coughing at the film (De Gaulle) and thinking at the time that the person should have stayed at home.

Oh well, Amor fati.

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 

GOOD(?) HEAVENS!

INTERVIEW # 39

Robert of Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish (I must provide him with another name soon) has been using what he calls a tag-line provided by The Vatican this year. It is "Embrace Your Cross" although he gets confused and sometimes writes "Carry Your Cross". That's OK, it's nonsense whichever way you look at it.

The Vatican has wheeled out this construct regularly over the centuries with popes using the cross imagery to represent active discipleship, urging Christians to share in the redemptive love of Christ by stepping into the pain and struggles of others. As such the theme of 'carrying your cross' appears frequently in papal homilies, encyclicals, and Vatican-related messaging.

In recent years Pope Francis emphasised that "to carry the cross of Christ is never in vain". He explained it means becoming "each of us, for one another, a Simon of Cyrene" by bearing the burdens and sufferings of others. Well, he was pope so had to say something to keep the followers in check I suppose.

This year, new pope Pope Leo XIV described the call to carry the cross as an embrace of the "Way of the Cross," a path of unity, hope, and faithful witness to the Gospel" - Witnessing to the Faith. To demonstrate this he actually carried a cross around all of the Stations of the Cross. A bit over the top I feel but he is American and they like to appeal to the lowest common denominators.

As a result Catholic Churches around the world are exhorting their followers to 'Embrace (or carry) The Cross". This supersedes that other silly slogan - "Have fun and don't sin" which Robert did to death.

In light of this I was wondering how The Vatican markets these concepts and whether there is in fact, as I have suspected, a Josef Goebbels-type propaganda machine at work. I contacted The Vatican (+39 06 6988 45600) and asked to talk to the head of marketing. I was put through to Prefect Analyctix and here's a transcript of our conversation which makes up Interview number 39 in this very popular series.

The Curmudgeon: Ah Bonjorneo .. err Signiturore Analyct ... er Prefect ...

Prefect Analyctix: English is fine The Curmudgeon. I sort of speak it as I am American.

The Curmudgeon: American? Wow - I didn't know. By the way you can call me TC.

Prefect Analyctix: TC? I like it. Top Cat was one of my favourite cartoon characters - well, I am from New York after all.

The Curmudgeon: New York. Oh that's right the new pope's from New York isn't he.

Prefect Analyctix: Rob's actually from Chicago but I won't hold that against him especially since we beat the sh... the stuffing out of them at basketball recently.

The Curmudgeon: Rob?

Prefect Analyctix: Rob, yes, Robert Francis Prevost. You'd know him better as Pope Leo XIV. Rob likes to have some Americans on his team to balance out those eyetie cardinals.

The Curmudgeon: Ahh, I see, the politics of religion.

Prefect Analyctix: No, just good business practice. When Rob made me Prefect ...

The Curmudgeon: ... I was a prefect at school you know.

Prefect Analyctix: Glory days TC, glory days. "Contritionem praecedit superbia, et ante ruinam exaltatur spiritus." which means ...

The Curmudgeon: ... "Pride precedes destruction and an exalted spirit before a fall."

Prefect Analyctix: Well done TC. You must be one of those famous 3P boys I've heard about.

The Curmudgeon: Yeah but if you want to know anything about double entry bookkeeping or where Zambesi is then you'd need a 3G boy.

Prefect Analyctix: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

The Curmudgeon: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

Prefect Analyctix: So tell me TC, why the call?

The Curmudgeon: I read about Rob's sorry, Pope Leo's exhortation to Catholics to use the 'carry your cross' greeting or sign-off and I wondered ...

Prefect Analyctix: ... where did you read it?

The Curmudgeon: Robert, not the pope, is using it on his blog Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish.

Prefect Analyctix: WTF? Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish! Is he mad?

The Curmudgeon: Yeah, kind of, he is a Catholic ... no offense.

Prefect Analyctix: None taken. Between you and me it's all a game. Did you know that it was one of mine?

The Curmudgeon: One of your what?

Prefect Analyctix: One of my marketing  campaigns, the latest in fact. "Carry Your Cross" has a ring about it don't you think? I was head of marketing and advertising ata Madison Avenue agency before Rob recruited me as Prefect.

The Curmudgeon: What does Prefect actually mean Prefect?

Prefect Analyctix: Here at The Vatican the Prefect oversees the Vatican's official news portals, publishing house, press office, and radio networks. I'm  the head of the Dicastery for Communication. Its a funny term 'dicastry' and I suspect some lowbrows would like to make scatological jokes about it.

The Curmudgeon: I know just the person. He was one of the 3G students. He would also make rude 'witticisms' about your name.

Prefect Analyctix: It figures. As I was saying, I manage all Vatican media operations, including Vatican News the L'Osservatore Romano newspaper, and the Holy See Press Office. 

The Curmudgeon: That's impressive. In my past career I was a marketer. A wine marketer.

Prefect Analyctix: Really? Then you would have written those back labels on wine bottles and created the blurb and hype around wine and wine brands then. You must be good at obfuscating the truth and creating nonsense. I suspect that you are an atheist but, having been in the famous 3P must have been a Catholic at some time. Why not come back into the fold. I could create a job here for you my son.

The Curmudgeon: It's TC, not Mason but thanks, I'm quite happy here and have a very successful blog that keeps me busy.

Prefect Analyctix: Oh, OK, but if you change your mind give me a call. I have to run now.

The Curmudgeon: I'll call again soon as I want to ask you about some of the past Vatican marketing scams, er, campaigns like aggiornamento, new evangelisation, "mercy over judgment", Nostra Aetate and others.

Prefect Analyctix: They were some doozies all right. I wish they had been mine. I've got some new ones I plan to introduce soon that I'd like to get your input on, things like:

• Give us a 7. Give us another 7. And another 7. What have we got? 777!
• You can still be a nun if you are not a virgin.
• Photo competition - best pics of the Virgin Mary statues.
• New motto - "Don't leave home without your scapula".

The Curmudgeon: (voce sotto Sheesh!). Yeah, good Prefect, I can help you with those. Ciao.

"PULL YOUR PANTS UP, ROB"

 Here's what the best dressed men wear in Moera apparently.

Barrelman says "Lot of people see world wrong. They don't like seeing me without barrel. Why,why,why?"

           Robert of Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish

Oh well, it beats going to the shops in old man slippers like the Wainuiomartians do I guess.

EMBRAVE YOUR CROISSANTS

Embrave your croissants?

Not to be confused with 'revive your croissants' which is where stale, day-old croissants that have lost their flakiness can be restored to a crunchy crust and tender interior by:

•  Slicing the croissant in half and placing the cut-side down into a dry pan over medium heat. Toasting until golden brown, then flipping and briefly frying the other side. 
• Or,  running the croissant under a quick stream of cold water, then placing it directly on the oven rack in a 200°C oven for 6 minutes. 

The dictionary meaning of embrave is 'to make fine or impressive'.

Do you remember the Monty Python line "blessed are the cheesemakers" when people at the back at the Sermon on the Mount couldn't hear what 888 was saying? Maybe then, Robert with his dodgy hearing misheard when old 888 said "embrace your cross" and he heard "embrave your croissant". He will now go on a crusade or mission seeking to convert people to his new doctrine.

NAUGHTY BUT NICE THURSDAY

 I notice that it is colder in Wellington than we have been used to in Northland. I guess that the description of Northland as 'the winterless north' is fairly accurate.

I've taken to wearing my woollen cardigan indoors in the evening more than usual and often wear at least two layers when going on my walks.

The Old Girl too, dresses warmer and, while not lamenting not having her Eskimo fur-lined anorak that she used in Canada, has indicated that she still would like to have her fur coat and damn the political incorrectness.

"LEFT TURN ... ROBERT CAN GO RIGHT"

It's a beautiful day today.

I went out first thing to buy a pair of robust hiking shoes. I need to get wide-fitting ones which turn out to be rare.

I tried Sketchers as I have some very comfortable wide-fitting walking shoes but as we will be doing some hiking in Australia I need some stronger shoes or boots. I prefer shoes as I don't plan to do much hiking or tramping at home and boots would be a bit of overkill.

Sketchers didn't have any hiking shoes and the ones I identified on-line at Mac Pac were unavailable in my size so I crossed Willis Street to Kathmandu and bingo - found some Salomon hiking shoes in wide fitting that had just come on sale today at 40% off. $228 instead of $380. They fit well and are comfortable as proven on my walk home and I'm going to head out for another walk soon - maybe to the botanic gardens.

I plan to boost my walking over the next 6 weeks to wear the shoes in and to get a bit of extra fitness for our holiday. I guess that we will do a bit of walking and hiking while in Oz and I don't want to be flagging.

RIGHTING WRONGS?

Old Robert, his imaginary god bless him, is still slavishly following The Catholic Church's right of centre line in politics and societal mores.

Here's what he wrote in his post this morning:
 

"The elections must be coming up. My union wants me to vote Labour. I haven't heard that National has done anything bad except killing lots of little babies."

Maybe he was out of the country when the current New Zealand coalition government (National, ACT, and NZ First)  provided tax cuts to property investors, implemented broad public service cuts, reduced the free school lunch program, slowed and cancelled environmental initiatives, repealed smoke-free laws, and held up advancement of legislation regarding Te Tiriti o Waitangi. 

Oh! Hold on - he was here in New Zealand and has only ever been away for two weeks.