INTERVIEW # 39

Robert of Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish (I must provide him with another name soon) has been using what he calls a tag-line provided by The Vatican this year. It is "Embrace Your Cross" although he gets confused and sometimes writes "Carry Your Cross". That's OK, it's nonsense whichever way you look at it.

The Vatican has wheeled out this construct regularly over the centuries with popes using the cross imagery to represent active discipleship, urging Christians to share in the redemptive love of Christ by stepping into the pain and struggles of others. As such the theme of 'carrying your cross' appears frequently in papal homilies, encyclicals, and Vatican-related messaging.

In recent years Pope Francis emphasised that "to carry the cross of Christ is never in vain". He explained it means becoming "each of us, for one another, a Simon of Cyrene" by bearing the burdens and sufferings of others. Well, he was pope so had to say something to keep the followers in check I suppose.

This year, new pope Pope Leo XIV described the call to carry the cross as an embrace of the "Way of the Cross," a path of unity, hope, and faithful witness to the Gospel" - Witnessing to the Faith. To demonstrate this he actually carried a cross around all of the Stations of the Cross. A bit over the top I feel but he is American and they like to appeal to the lowest common denominators.

As a result Catholic Churches around the world are exhorting their followers to 'Embrace (or carry) The Cross". This supersedes that other silly slogan - "Have fun and don't sin" which Robert did to death.

In light of this I was wondering how The Vatican markets these concepts and whether there is in fact, as I have suspected, a Josef Goebbels-type propaganda machine at work. I contacted The Vatican (+39 06 6988 45600) and asked to talk to the head of marketing. I was put through to Prefect Analyctix and here's a transcript of our conversation which makes up Interview number 39 in this very popular series.

The Curmudgeon: Ah Bonjorneo .. err Signiturore Analyct ... er Prefect ...

Prefect Analyctix: English is fine The Curmudgeon. I sort of speak it as I am American.

The Curmudgeon: American? Wow - I didn't know. By the way you can call me TC.

Prefect Analyctix: TC? I like it. Top Cat was one of my favourite cartoon characters - well, I am from New York after all.

The Curmudgeon: New York. Oh that's right the new pope's from New York isn't he.

Prefect Analyctix: Rob's actually from Chicago but I won't hold that against him especially since we beat the sh... the stuffing out of them at basketball recently.

The Curmudgeon: Rob?

Prefect Analyctix: Rob, yes, Robert Francis Prevost. You'd know him better as Pope Leo XIV. Rob likes to have some Americans on his team to balance out those eyetie cardinals.

The Curmudgeon: Ahh, I see, the politics of religion.

Prefect Analyctix: No, just good business practice. When Rob made me Prefect ...

The Curmudgeon: ... I was a prefect at school you know.

Prefect Analyctix: Glory days TC, glory days. "Contritionem praecedit superbia, et ante ruinam exaltatur spiritus." which means ...

The Curmudgeon: ... "Pride precedes destruction and an exalted spirit before a fall."

Prefect Analyctix: Well done TC. You must be one of those famous 3P boys I've heard about.

The Curmudgeon: Yeah but if you want to know anything about double entry bookkeeping or where Zambesi is then you'd need a 3G boy.

Prefect Analyctix: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

The Curmudgeon: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

Prefect Analyctix: So tell me TC, why the call?

The Curmudgeon: I read about Rob's sorry, Pope Leo's exhortation to Catholics to use the 'carry your cross' greeting or sign-off and I wondered ...

Prefect Analyctix: ... where did you read it?

The Curmudgeon: Robert, not the pope, is using it on his blog Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish.

Prefect Analyctix: WTF? Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish! Is he mad?

The Curmudgeon: Yeah, kind of, he is a Catholic ... no offense.

Prefect Analyctix: None taken. Between you and me it's all a game. Did you know that it was one of mine?

The Curmudgeon: One of your what?

Prefect Analyctix: One of my marketing  campaigns, the latest in fact. "Carry Your Cross" has a ring about it don't you think? I was head of marketing and advertising ata Madison Avenue agency before Rob recruited me as Prefect.

The Curmudgeon: What does Prefect actually mean Prefect?

Prefect Analyctix: Here at The Vatican the Prefect oversees the Vatican's official news portals, publishing house, press office, and radio networks. I'm  the head of the Dicastery for Communication. Its a funny term 'dicastry' and I suspect some lowbrows would like to make scatological jokes about it.

The Curmudgeon: I know just the person. He was one of the 3G students. He would also make rude 'witticisms' about your name.

Prefect Analyctix: It figures. As I was saying, I manage all Vatican media operations, including Vatican News the L'Osservatore Romano newspaper, and the Holy See Press Office. 

The Curmudgeon: That's impressive. In my past career I was a marketer. A wine marketer.

Prefect Analyctix: Really? Then you would have written those back labels on wine bottles and created the blurb and hype around wine and wine brands then. You must be good at obfuscating the truth and creating nonsense. I suspect that you are an atheist but, having been in the famous 3P must have been a Catholic at some time. Why not come back into the fold. I could create a job here for you my son.

The Curmudgeon: It's TC, not Mason but thanks, I'm quite happy here and have a very successful blog that keeps me busy.

Prefect Analyctix: Oh, OK, but if you change your mind give me a call. I have to run now.

The Curmudgeon: I'll call again soon as I want to ask you about some of the past Vatican marketing scams, er, campaigns like aggiornamento, new evangelisation, "mercy over judgment", Nostra Aetate and others.

Prefect Analyctix: They were some doozies all right. I wish they had been mine. I've got some new ones I plan to introduce soon that I'd like to get your input on, things like:

• Give us a 7. Give us another 7. And another 7. What have we got? 777!
• You can still be a nun if you are not a virgin.
• Photo competition - best pics of the Virgin Mary statues.
• New motto - "Don't leave home without your scapula".

The Curmudgeon: (voce sotto Sheesh!). Yeah, good Prefect, I can help you with those. Ciao.

"PULL YOUR PANTS UP, ROB"

 Here's what the best dressed men wear in Moera apparently.

Barrelman says "Lot of people see world wrong. They don't like seeing me without barrel. Why,why,why?"

           Robert of Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish

Oh well, it beats going to the shops in old man slippers like the Wainuiomartians do I guess.

EMBRAVE YOUR CROISSANTS

Embrave your croissants?

Not to be confused with 'revive your croissants' which is where stale, day-old croissants that have lost their flakiness can be restored to a crunchy crust and tender interior by:

•  Slicing the croissant in half and placing the cut-side down into a dry pan over medium heat. Toasting until golden brown, then flipping and briefly frying the other side. 
• Or,  running the croissant under a quick stream of cold water, then placing it directly on the oven rack in a 200°C oven for 6 minutes. 

The dictionary meaning of embrave is 'to make fine or impressive'.

Do you remember the Monty Python line "blessed are the cheesemakers" when people at the back at the Sermon on the Mount couldn't hear what 888 was saying? Maybe then, Robert with his dodgy hearing misheard when old 888 said "embrace your cross" and he heard "embrave your croissant". He will now go on a crusade or mission seeking to convert people to his new doctrine.

NAUGHTY BUT NICE THURSDAY

 I notice that it is colder in Wellington than we have been used to in Northland. I guess that the description of Northland as 'the winterless north' is fairly accurate.

I've taken to wearing my woollen cardigan indoors in the evening more than usual and often wear at least two layers when going on my walks.

The Old Girl too, dresses warmer and, while not lamenting not having her Eskimo fur-lined anorak that she used in Canada, has indicated that she still would like to have her fur coat and damn the political incorrectness.

"LEFT TURN ... ROBERT CAN GO RIGHT"

It's a beautiful day today.

I went out first thing to buy a pair of robust hiking shoes. I need to get wide-fitting ones which turn out to be rare.

I tried Sketchers as I have some very comfortable wide-fitting walking shoes but as we will be doing some hiking in Australia I need some stronger shoes or boots. I prefer shoes as I don't plan to do much hiking or tramping at home and boots would be a bit of overkill.

Sketchers didn't have any hiking shoes and the ones I identified on-line at Mac Pac were unavailable in my size so I crossed Willis Street to Kathmandu and bingo - found some Salomon hiking shoes in wide fitting that had just come on sale today at 40% off. $228 instead of $380. They fit well and are comfortable as proven on my walk home and I'm going to head out for another walk soon - maybe to the botanic gardens.

I plan to boost my walking over the next 6 weeks to wear the shoes in and to get a bit of extra fitness for our holiday. I guess that we will do a bit of walking and hiking while in Oz and I don't want to be flagging.

RIGHTING WRONGS?

Old Robert, his imaginary god bless him, is still slavishly following The Catholic Church's right of centre line in politics and societal mores.

Here's what he wrote in his post this morning:
 

"The elections must be coming up. My union wants me to vote Labour. I haven't heard that National has done anything bad except killing lots of little babies."

Maybe he was out of the country when the current New Zealand coalition government (National, ACT, and NZ First)  provided tax cuts to property investors, implemented broad public service cuts, reduced the free school lunch program, slowed and cancelled environmental initiatives, repealed smoke-free laws, and held up advancement of legislation regarding Te Tiriti o Waitangi. 

Oh! Hold on - he was here in New Zealand and has only ever been away for two weeks.

WHO VOTED THESE FOOLS IN? ....

... Oh!

I read on Scoop news that more than 1 million eligible voters did not vote in the 2023 New Zealand elections.

What's wrong with these idiots? Or, I should ask "what's wrong with most of these people?" given that there will be a small percentage who are very aged, infirm or congenitally impaired.*

The information came from a Conservative Party press release but I assume even those idiots can read and interpret statistics.

New Zealand is a stable democratic country that is proud to have used this democracy to pass ground-breaking social justice, educational, health, environmental protection and other forms of advanced legislation and personal freedoms.

In 2023 however nearly 1.2 million people eligible to vote did not do so.

In this country voting is a right not just a privilege and, more than theoretically, eligible citizens can help to influence the political, social and economic direction that the country goes in.

"Elections determine who forms government, how public money is spent, what laws are enacted, and the priorities of national policy. Decisions affecting housing, healthcare, education, employment, taxation, law and order, infrastructure, and social services are all shaped by those elected to Parliament. When people choose not to vote, they effectively leave these decisions to others. Every non-voter increases the relative influence of those who do participate.

Based on current Electoral Commission estimates of approximately 4.05 million eligible voters, a political party seeking to enter Parliament under New Zealand's MMP system would need support equivalent to approximately 202,500 voters to achieve the 5 percent party vote threshold."

          Scoop 15 June 2026, Conservative Party press release.

It's easy to see why the Conservative Party is making noises about this as, being a party outside of Parliament, the million potential voters are an opportunity for them to pass the 5% threshold given that they would only need one in six of those votes.

For once I agree with them. Not their policies obviously as they are a far right bunch of arseholes now pretending to be centrist  (if they really were centrist they would be either the National Party or the right-leaning parts of the Labour Party). I just agree that if a fair proportion of the non-voting million plus New Zealanders bothered to use their democratic rights then the things that they bitch and moan about might get improved and legislated with either a more powerful ruling government or coalition or some more voices to be heard in Parliament who might listen to their bitching and moaning.

Sheesh!

* Hutt Valley South electors are now allowed to vote.

FUNK IS ITS OWN REWARD ...

 ... said no-one interested in personal hygiene.

In slang, "funk" typically refers to a state of depression or a bad mood (e.g., "being in a funk"). Its adjective "funky" can mean something smells bad, has a weird/unconventional style, or refers to a groovy musical rhythm.

 Why do I say this?

Check out Richard's latest post where he wrote:

"Yesterday's jam was a bit of a waste of time but at least there were nice people there. I have absolutely no gigs coming, so why do I practise so much? Well, as a jazz bassist said once, "Funk is its own reward." I don't know why he used the word funk and not jazz but, never mind, the intended message is the same."

We just hope that he's not taking funk too literally.

*************

I spent some time yesterday finalising our August bookings for our Australia trip. We fly to Darwin, stay there a couple of days before boarding the GHAN train to Adelaide (3 days and nights). I've yet to book accommodation and plan activities in South Australia but will do that soon.

I booked a 12 hour 'experience' of Kakadu national park near Darwin which will be good.

Kakadu national park

Today I need to look to buy some sturdy but comfortable hiking/walking boots that are wide-fitting. I gave away a new pair to Robert recently as I didn't buy the wide-fitting variant and they cramped my feet a bit. I guess I have or have developed flat feet so need wider fitting shoes for comfort.

Yesterday afternoon we saw another French film festival film De Gaulle:Tilting Iron which is well worth going to. It's an epic look at Charles De Gaulle's 'wilderness' years in London and Africa after the fall of France in 1940. The French have done this well creating a fascinating look into the politics behind warfare.

 

NOT APP-RECIATED

 I dislike apps and try to avoid downloading them to my phone. They, to me are an example of how the world has gone mad and people are being duped in to giving up freedoms, personal selections and responsibility to technology. Apps = AI and AI = ridiculously wealthy and influential IT people like Elon Musk who is now set to become a trillionaire. "Fuck that"I say.

It's hard to do a lot of things nowadays without having to have a bloody smart phone with apps on it.

Order a burger at McDonalds? You need a card capable of PayWave (which I've deactivated on mine).

Pay for parking in the street? PayWave via a bloody app.

Try to get a new NewWorld clubcard+? Download and use the app but ...

... I don't want to use an app for this I want a bloody replacement plastic card! It took me two visits to the local New World store and lots of conversation and several attempts on-line to re-register as myself, changes passwords and PIN numbers and a whole lot of hassle to order a plastic card which, I'm told, might take up to 4 weeks to be delivered!

Our world is being run by 'smart' young things who have never lived in an analog world and who think everyone has a smart mobile phone or device welded to their hands. I'm getting sick of it.

I had trouble with my Apple 16 phone over the last week with the bloody settings dropping out and being unable to access my emails. Unfortunately some 'smart' young thing at Apple some time ago thought it a good idea to connect all Apple devices so my phone, watch, iPad and laptop all merrily cavort using my information, leaving analog-me in the dark. I tried all sorts of reset procedures only to totally block the damned internet traffic. I had to visit the Spark store this morning to get things sorted.

Why has life become so complicated? Maybe we need Musk to become a trillionaire so as to finance himself a trip to Mars where he can bloody well get stranded or disappear in a big puff of smoke along with his AI ambitions.

FAARQ IT'S COLD ...

 ... I wonder if Robert's funny little wooden man's dick has shrunk.

No doubt Richard is hibernating in his man cave with the heater on full blast. I wonder what his electricity bill is?

I received our latest bill today and it's for $317! Faarq!

The thermostat on the heating system showed a temperature of 12 degrees inside the house before (now 13 degrees) making me want to turn the central heating on but ... "I received our latest bill today and it's for $317! Faarq!"

Maybe I'll go out for another walk to warm up. It is sunny outside after all.

I walked down to Lambton Quay to the bank this morning to sort out a payment for our GHAN train trip from Darwin to Adelaide in August. All sorted now. I'm looking forward to this and to the side trips we will do to visit some national parks near Darwin, Uluru and wineries in South Australia.

We won't be doing what this joker who looks like Robert is doing though: