I TRY (INTERVIEW # 42)

Robert's been gone for a long time but, like a bad penny we know that he'll turn up.

Richard has done his usual thing by deleting the link to Robert's (now redundant) blog. It's kind of like getting cashiered from a gentlemen's club or branded in the US Cavalry.

Will he be missed?

It is a bit lonely when the bloggers are down to two and without Robert's crazed witterings on the arcane practices of the Catholic Church for Richard and me to jeer at we kind of run out of ideas to blog on.

Did Robert contribute to the world of essaying? Well, he was a trier (a little grammatical joke there for you).

Will Richard fill the gap and make more of an effort at essaying? It's yet to be proven although, given that he doesn't know how to turn on his new computer yet I wouldn't hold my breath waiting.

To answer these questions and more I decided to contact one of the world's greatest essayists - in fact, the creator of the concept of essaying - Michel de Montaigne (1533–1592)  a French philosopher who coined the word essai (meaning "to attempt") to describe his personal, introspective writings and who is said to be the father of the modern essay.

"Bonjour"

Michel Eyquem, Seigneur de Montaigne[a] (28 February 1533 – 13 September 1592),[4] commonly known as just Michel de Montaigne, was one of the most significant writers of the French Renaissance. He is known for popularising the essay as a literary genre. His work is noted for its merging of casual anecdotes[5] and autobiography with intellectual insight. Montaigne had a direct influence on numerous writers of Western literature; his Essais contain some of the most influential essays ever written.

          - Wikipedia

The Curmudgeon: Welcome Michel Eyquem, Seigneur de Montaigne to The Curmudgeon's interview series. It's nice to have you here.

Michel Eyquem, Seigneur de Montaigne: Thank you Monsieur Le Curmudgeon. I try to be of assistance in times of literary crisis which brings a decline in reading comprehension and literacy .

The Curmudgeon: Ha ha Michel Eyquem, Seigneur de Montaigne, I see what you did there - um, can I call you Michel de Montaigne?

Michel Eyquem, Seigneur de Montaigne: Sure, fill your booties Monsieur Le Curmudgeon but maybe to save us both doing a lot of typing you call me Michel and I'll call you TC?

TC: OK, that's good let's crack on. Michel I note in your bio that during your lifetime you were admired as a statesman more than as an author. It's said that there was a tendency in your essays to digress into anecdotes and personal ruminations which was seen as detrimental to proper style, rather than as an innovation; moreover, your declaration that "I am myself the matter of my book" was viewed by your contemporaries as self-indulgent.

Michel: Google TC?

TC: Um, yes - rumbled. That's what Google told me. "I quote others only in order the better to express myself".

Michel: Ha ha - that's my quote you stole there TC. Be careful of AI and Google-type searching. It can be as bad as forgetting to switch on your computer like some old guy I heard about - ha ha ha ha ha ...

TC: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ...

Michel: ... yes they said that but eventually came around to recognising me as embodying the spirit of critical thought and open inquiry. I was best known for my sceptical remark, "What do I know?" ("Que sçay-je?" in Middle French; "Que sais-je?" in modern French).

TC: Mmm I see - but as you know I was in 3P. I doubt that the 3Gers would understand that.

Michel: The world is but a school of enquiry TC. To know much is often the cause of doubting more.

TC: What? I meant ...

Michel: ... On the highest throne in the world, we still sit only on our own bottom.

TC: Hey! That's the sort of aphorism that Richard would say ... except that he'd put it more crudely and think that an aphorism was some sort of insect. Did you know that he once confused a daddy long legs with a mosquito?

Michel: There is no conversation more boring than the one where everybody agrees TC. Maybe this Richard fellow's eyes are bigger than his stomach, and that he has more curiosity than understanding. We grasp at everything, but catch nothing except wind.

TC: Er , that sounds like him alright, especially that bit about the wind.

Michel: He sounds (see what I did there?) like an interesting character TC.

TC: Yes, 'interesting' like that Chinese saying "May you live in interesting times".

Michel: Ha ha - hey it's been interesting talking to you TC. We got a bit stuck on sayings there and didn't discuss my essays. Can I interest you in my theories of humanism as I expressed in my Essais (published in 1580), a large collection of short, subjective essays on various topics? These essays were inspired by my studies in the classics, especially the works of Plutarch and Lucretius.

TC: Um ... gosh! Look at the time. I have to nip out to the shops. Look Michel. I'm sure Richard would like to hear about those especially as he has nothing to do now that he can't start up his computer. Here's his address ...

WELL I'VE NEVER BEEN TO SPAIN ... SORRY, GREAT BARRIER ISLAND ...

 ... but I've always wanted to go there.

As The Old Girl is going to have all of January off for holidays this coming summer we thought we'd go somewhere special so I checked it out and made a booking today.

I had planned to  travel from south to north of the island and back staying at different lodgings but on checking, this is difficult to line up and most of the offerings are pretty rustic. Instead I've opted for a quality Air B&B to stay in for a week and we can do day trips to different parts of the island.

The Air B&B offerings themselves are variable and after looking at a few I decided to 'push the boat out' and go for luxury rather than being parsimonious and thereby disappointing The Old Girl. The one I've (we've) decided on is Mason Canyon Gibson Cottage. GIBSON COTTAGE

The more observant reader will notice that guitars come with the accommodation so I might be able to learn to play while I'm there. How hard would that be? I do, after all, have some musical history with the bagpipes.

I was hoping to be able to get to the northern tip of the island but I doubt that there's a passable road to use to get there. Years ago I read a great novel by Derek Hansen about life on the Northern tip of Great Barrier and the intersection of lives of a few people in an isolated community - the most striking being Red O'Hara who is traumatized by horrific experiences working on the Burma railway as a P.O.W. of the Japanese in WW2. After reading it I promised myself to get there some day (we've been to the Burma railway and the location of the bridge over the River Kwai).

I recommend his book along with Hansen's other publications.

SIEG HEIL!

"Er ist nicht in der Bunkeranlage"

(He is not in the bunker)

Richard looking for Robert

 

Well we know that there's a worldwide movement to the right in politics and thinking but I never thought that Richard's Bass Bag would go that way.

Is he filling the void created by Robert The Right Wing Unempathetic Catholic leaving the blogs?

ROBERT THE UNEMPATHETIC CHRISTIAN

I've changed the link name to Robert's blog from 'Robert's Latest Thing' to 'Robert The Unempathetic Christian'.

For a long time I've experienced Robert's unusual response to misfortunes experienced by others that are at variance with the "I love you" and "I'll pray for you" platitudes that he wheels out almost by rote and that have been passed to him during that bizarre and archaic ceremony The Mass aka 'A weapon of mass destruction' or 'massinformation'.

Richard experienced it yesterday in a comment on his post.

It's weird really so I did a Google search on unempathetic Catholics and, bugger me if the AI Overview function in the search doesn't have this covered. Creepy but, maybe this is the positive side of AI which I admit isn't all bad - it just needs to be reined in from time to time.

Google AI overview said:

"Offer it up."

That is the official, centuries-old Catholic response to your suffering. Did you break your leg? Offer it up for the souls in purgatory. Did you burn your toast? Offer it up. Are you experiencing a profound existential crisis? Excellent—the saints went through a "dark night of the soul" too, so stop whining and get back in the pew.
If you are looking for a dose of traditional, zero-empathy Catholic humor, here is a breakdown of how the Church handles feelings:

The Hierarchy of Divine Sympathy

• Your Mom: Might care, but will ultimately tell you to go to Confession just in case your bad luck is a mortal sin.
• Your Parish Priest: Will look at his watch, give you a penance of three Hail Marys, and ask if you can help set up chairs for the fish fry this Friday.
• The Irish Saints: Will tell you that suffering builds character, and if you aren't actively being chased by druids or martyred by Vikings, you don't actually have a problem.

Scannable Truths: Catholic Vs. Modern Empathy

Situation: You are stressed.

 Secular Response - "Take a self-care day and get a massage."

Empathetic Catholic Response - "The Desert Fathers lived on bugs and rocks for 40 years. You'll survive finals week."
 

Situation: You got dumped.

         Secular Response - "You deserve someone who sees your worth." 

         Empathetic Catholic Response - It’s a clear sign you have a religious vocation. Pack your bags               for the convent/seminary."

Situation: You have a cold.

         Secular Response -"Oh no, get some rest and drink fluids!" 

        Empathetic Catholic Response - "Fast from television and pray for the conversion of Russia."

Guilt: The Ultimate Productivity Tool
The Catholic Church invented psychological resilience via intense accountability. You don't need a therapist to validate your emotions; you need a strict Italian grandmother or an old-school nun with a ruler to remind you that your feelings are entirely secondary to whether or not you made your Easter Duty.

WHEELY?

 I went for a nice long walk today along the wharves and waterfront. It was magic...

... warm and sunny and marred only by these idiots:

I tell you - it was a nice day for walking being sunny but not too hot and with no wind but there were as usual, fools who've given up using their legs to scooter along instead, along with, of course, the inconsiderate bike riders.

Zager and Evans had it right in their song:

"In the year 5555
Your arms hangin' limp at your sides
Your legs got nothin' to do
Some machine's doin' that for you"

It's bad and annoying but ... it's going to get worse.

Under new New Zealand regulations effective October 1, 2026, children aged 12 and under—along with their supervising parents or caregivers—are legally permitted to ride bicycles on footpaths.

Yes, get prepared for out of control brats riding freely along pedestrian footpaths and with a likely out of control adult riding along with them, most likely parallel.

So what's new you might ask? They do this anyway but now they can do it legally.

Get prepared for pedestrian outrage and arguments and they won't all be from me.

Sheesh!

ONLY IN AMERICA

 Before I forget here are some extra exclamation marks for Richard. !!! He likes these.

OK, let's start.

I heard an expression used on a TV programme last night which was "put a cap in his ass (sic)". This is American jargon for 'shoot him'.

It reminded me of years ago when I was attending a conference in USA, on a break day, we were playing golf. In the four was a warehouse manager from Chicago who was a bit of a character very much like those characters seen in American crime dramas except that he was for real.

I noticed that when he was climbing into a golf buggy he seemed to be in a bit of discomfort so I asked him if he was OK.

"I'm fine" he said "a few years ago someone put a cap in my ass (sic)".

He wasn't joking as, in Chicago someone had indeed shot him in the arse.

The thing was though that he stated it matter of factly as if it, and being Chicago probably was, just the normal risks of daily life like getting cut off in traffic, bumping into someone on a footpath or dropping an icecream cone. What a weird country.

MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING

"The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing," 

- attributed to Socrates via Plato.

I don't consider Richard to be a philosopher - a philanderer, a Philistine or even a philatelist maybe and he could be described as being philharmonic so I don't know why he wrote this post this morning:

 

With Robert it would be expected and he excels at writing posts about nothing:  

"I can connect nothing with nothing" wrote TS Eliot in his poem 'The Waste Land (Section III, The Fire Sermon)' in which he was referring to modern day (in his time) collapse and despair but I don't think that Richard studied Eliot at school unless it was the comic version of 'Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats'.

Maybe he's just run out of ideas.

PUTTING MYSELF OUT THERE

 It's bloody cold outside this morning but, as my foot is up to walking I feel that I need to get out and do some exercise.

The Old Girl is here this weekend (up from her two month stint in Christchurch) so we'll head out soon for a stroll along the waterfront. 'Rugging up' will be necessary as I think there's a cold southerly wind lowering the temperature. 

No doubt Richard is huddling in bed doing a gaseous rendition of Krook from Dickens's Bleak House. I hope that he doesn't burn the house down. He has nothing to report in his blog post this morning which is, for the readers reader a blessing in there being:

• No scatological references
• No blasphemy
• No vulgarity
• No dullard wine advice
• No endless musical instrument anecdotes.

I might post again after the walk as I have lots to tell you.

PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE

 It has been nice out - I agree with Richard on that but don't approve of him going about  exposing himself.

*********

I was going to go for a walk to 'test' my foot but got busy doing housework.

The Old Girl is back for the weekend from Christchurch so I have had to get the house back in order. This means doing everything twice like vacuuming, dusting and generally cleaning. Even then the result isn't up to her standards. Hey ho!

The Prednisone medication I've been taking for gout inflammation has the side effect of blurred vision so my cleaning ability has been even further compromised. All these bloody medications have side effects and Prednisone being a steroid has many. Fortunately I'm only taking a very short duration dose so hopefully the eyesight will come back to normal, or what's normal for me soon.

I'm picking up The Old Girl from the airport tomorrow and she goes back Monday evening. On Saturday she will be going to World of Wearable Arts (WOW) with Geoff if he's feeling up to it and on Sunday we are out to dinner with her cousin and her husband. He's a professional chef so always cooks delicious meals.

Robert hasn't been posting for a few days. I imagine that AI slop he dishes out has shagged him out. I hope he hasn't been flashing like Richard has. If he has he should know that it's a sin so should read Richard's blog to get some pointers of what to do if he gets 'sent down'.

Wine time is calling and I have to get my dinner organised - Thai chicken curry and Jasmine rice. Yummy!

AND ANOTHER ONE

 I'm sure that you liked the joke we made in the previous post about Richard's doctor consultation.

Here's another one that could have happened:

This could be the start of a new series - RICHARD GOES TO THE DOCTORS.