Monday 30 April 2018

Sunday 29 April 2018

THEY HEARD THAT HE'S COMING

So Richard is off to Venice then. See HERE

Maybe that explains this:

Venice Ready to Turn Back Tourists if Too Many Come

By THE ASSOCIATED PRESSAPRIL 28, 2018, 10:28 A.M. E.D.T.


ROME — Venice has installed temporary gates at the ends of two bridges to turn back tourists if their numbers become overwhelming.
The Italian lagoon city put the measure in place for a four-day holiday weekend that ends on Labor Day, May 1.
By early Saturday afternoon, municipal police officers monitoring the flow of arrivals judged the crowds manageable enough that the gates didn't need to be shut yet.
Tourists far outnumber residents in carless Venice, where the narrow streets become almost impassable during peak travel times.
Crowds get especially heavy when cruise ships disembark thousands of passengers at once for day trips.
The city has struggled for decades with what to do about its dwindling population, but also lives off tourism.


Local residents looking for Nuova Lazio infiltrators

Continue reading the main story
.
" Thats-a-righta Luigi, blocka-the canal so those Nuova Lazions donta try anda getta past"



NEW POST - THE CULTURED CURMUDGEON.

The Cultured Curmudgeon's been busy this morning.

See HERE




Saturday 28 April 2018

OK, I WIMPED OUT

I decided not to drive down to Auckland this weekend. The weather is just too bad.



It makes no sense to go aquaplaning when I have time on my hands to pick a day of better weather to drive in.

I'd drive carefully and to the conditions but I'm amazed at the stupid behaviour of some drivers who are unaware of the dangers of high winds, heavy rain and wet roads.




Why take the risk?

SHOTS, TREES, FISH 'N' CHIPS, STORM, AUCKLAND*


*I borrowed that heading style from Robert but I hope that other things relating to his blogs aren't catching.

Richard's caught his predilection for deleting posts (not that it's such a bad thing in this case).


******************


Yesterday morning I went to get both the flu shot and the shingles shot (now free for over 65s).

After that I spent several hours cutting down shrubs , picking out weeds and trimming trees.  I was exhausted. I couldn't be bothered cooking so had fish and chips for dinner from our excellent local takeaway.

Overnight and this morning we've had a massive storm battering the house. I hope that if it decides to interfere with my tree cuttings that it takes them completely away rather than just spread them all over the property.

I'm driving down to Auckland today so will head off about midday, hopefully as the storm quietens down. I need the car down there as The Old Girl wants me to bring a lot of stuff back from the new apartment. She overestimated how much stuff she could take from the two bedroom one to this one bedroom one.

I'll come back tomorrow possibly to find this again.





Tuesday 24 April 2018

WHATTA RORT




I can't believe the amount of bottled water that people buy in supermarkets.



Sure, a small pack is handy when travelling on a bus or in the car but now I'm seeing huge containers of water like this:





What are these people thinking? OK, if you lived in Havelock North last year maybe there was a case for it but not normally.

Gave a look at this nonsense here:



RAW WATER





.

BLOODY WASP GOT THE LAST LAUGH*






* Well it would have been its last laugh if it was one of the ones I sprayed and crushed. Bastard!




I had a bad night last night, not being able to sleep due to the pain in my arm and discomfort from swelling. I'd done the cider vinegar and honey thing yesterday and used ice packs but this time it was worse. Much worse.

I went to the doctors first thing this morning and was prescribed antihistamine tablets and painkillers.
Apparently wasp sting effects can be accumulative and the fact that I had one recently before exacerbated the symptoms. Hopefully the course of antihistamine will sort it out.

Monday 23 April 2018

SEARCH AND DESTROY



I was on a mission this afternoon.

I did a couple of hours of tree and bush trimming using my handy Bahco hand saw.


This is a nifty little tool. It's really sharp and cuts through branches like a knife through butter.
I haven't given up on buying a pole pruner but this is doing the job and only cost $50.

I gradually cut back vegetation around where I suspected the wasp nest was.



Eventually I found it on the underside of a flax bush and a swarm of angry wasps came out to check me out. I retreated to the house and grabbed a can of insect spray and made a few running forays into the danger zone, giving a liberal spraying each time. After a while activity slowed down to the point where I was able to dislodge the nest using my very versatile Bahco with which I speared it and hurried down to the beach and crushed it with rocks.

Job done.

I wonder if I'll get a medal?



WASP BASTARDS 2

A few weeks ago I was stung by a wasp when I was clearing weeds.


Today, after buying a neat little Bahco curved saw I attacked the bushes and trees again and, in the exact same place in the garden as before a bastard wasp stung me.

It hurts and I've had to use the honey, cider vinegar and ice remedy again. Now I know what Richard was on about with his wasp problem.

BASTARDS!

this means war.








Sunday 22 April 2018

A NEW TWEET FROM THE TWITTER CURMUDGEON

See:

HERE




ROAD TRIPS

I drove down to Auckland yesterday and returned today. This is the second trip that the 'new' car has had from Auckland to Whangarei and performed very well.

No bits fell off.




This car must have been made on a Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday.
Don't buy a car made on a Monday or a Friday.


I'm sure there were supposed to be four wheels


I worked a summer season at Todd Motors in Petone in 1970/71 as a holiday job before starting university. I was in the checking and testing department at the end of the line. We used to do wheel testing, drive testing, headlight testing and water tightness testing along with some other checks.

Most cars passed except for a few where wheels fell off due to no wheel nuts being put on. Cars leaked water because a Hillman Avenger door was jammed into a Hillman Hunter doorframe. Headlight checks failed because the headlight fittings from Chryslers were jammed into the set up for Hillmans. Brakes failed because no brake linings were fitted etc. These were just the 'superficial' checks. I hate to think what might have been wrong with engines and transmission systems.

I found that most of the problems happened on Mondays and Fridays. I know, I've heard that this is an apocryphal story but in my case I know it to be true. As a checker I used to have to go back down the line to point out the mistake to the person who had made it - usually a gigantic  man*.
On Mondays said gigantic man, if found was nursing a massive hangover from the weekend just gone. On Fridays said gigantic  man was never to be found having taken the day off for a long weekend and had a friend clock him in and cover his duties. Once the guy I was looking for was actually there and when I asked questions he ran away. He ran away! From me, a skinny (then) 18 y.o. and him at least 6 foot five!

*********************

My trip back was uneventful but on the way down I was nearly wiped out twice. It really is getting too dangerous to drive nowadays, especially in Northland.
On a 100 kph stretch just south of Whangarei there is an intersection on the right which has been the scene of lots of fatalities. I saw about five cars lined up trying to turn right on to State Highway One and the lead car was getting a bit 'antsy'. I always try to anticipate problems when driving and sure enough, this turkey pulled out and turned right in front of me. I was travelling at 100 kph. I had already planned to brake in case this happened and did so with the car braking well and in a straight line de-accellerating from 100 kph to about 40 kph to avoid ramming the stupid fucker.
The cars travelling in the opposite direction were also travelling at 100 kph and the lead one, maybe braking, jinked to the left and missed the stupid cunt by a whisker. If he had even just nicked him I would have been involved in a multi-car pile up. The stupid christian (I ran out of increasingly virulent descriptions) took off and because the car behind me undertook me on the left I was unable to get his number-plate. He proceeded to overtake other cars on the 100 kph stretch and was well away.

The second time was between Wellsford and Warkworth on an uphill passing lane. I was passing some slow traffic and was behind another car in my lane. Behind me was an impatient fucker who was right on my bumper. As I completed the passing manouvre the passing lane had run out but, instead of tucking in behind me 'Mr Speedy' chose to continue to overtake me forcing me dangerously left. I gave him the finger and the cunt waved to me in the rear vision mirror. If this was middle america and I was driving a behemoth utility truck with bumper bars I would have sped up and  nudged him off the road ( too much reading of Jack Reacher books I know.) This idiot performed another few stupid overtaking moves and was soon well ahead. I thought I wouldn't see him again.

I was wrong. After the twin tunnels south of Puhoi I noticed the same black car at the side of the motorway. He had been pulled over by a plain police car. Justice done!






* This was in the early days of manufacturing using imported Polynesian labour - in Wellington it was Cook Islanders and Samoans. There was little in the way of language education  and skills training and the unions were strong and the employers were comparatively weak. It didn't stop them making as many cost cuts (including wages) as they could get away with though.

Saturday 21 April 2018

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

Robert has freaked out The Religious Curmudgeon.








MY WHEELS ARE GETTING SMALLER.

When we were younger we used to think that bigger wheels on cars were more desirable. It made them look flasher, faster, more macho etc.



As we get older these things don't appeal so much so we settle for smaller wheels.



When I had company cars and didn't have to pay for them I used to choose the option of 18" or 19" wheels over the standard 16".


Why? Because they looked better. Facile eh.

I just had a look at a VW forum on whether larger wheels are better than smaller wheels:


A question
I have a 2001 (B5.5) V6 4motion Passat. I still have the stock wheels and tire size on it: 205/55/R16. Was thinking about getting some new wheels, but before I locked myself into that wheel/tire size, I wanted to ask the question -- is there any real advantage (or disadvantage) to getting bigger tires, and therefore wheels?

An answer
Advantage. looks only, really.
Disadvantages. lack of wheel protection, hasher ride, more expensive tires....
It's a preference. That's all.
Want a good middle of the road without having to lower to look good? 17" 225/45/17 tire.

The car we just bought has 16" wheels and it looks OK to me. At least they are larger than the tyres on the Toyota Ist we just sold which were 15".
No doubt the boy racers will sneer when they see me driving it but hey, at least they might not steal it.

Thursday 19 April 2018

BECOMING A BLOKE

I've always avoided owning and operating those 'blokey' things like chainsaws, water blasters and the noisy  usually irrelevant things that home handymen feel they can't do without.

I'm more like this guy on the right in Mitre 10 Mega's 'Easy as' TV ad of a few years ago:



I did once own a small chainsaw that I bought at a swap-meet. It was faulty and crap and leaked petrol everywhere and could hardly cut through butter. I nearly immolated myself using it up a tree once so took it to the dump.

The Old Girl has no confidence in me as a handyman and generally forbids me from doing repairs or making things. She controls the power-drill set and most tools see HERE

**********************

Anyway, today, after the morning's tennis and as the sun was hiding behind overcast skies I decided to give tree trimming a go. I've got the car and trailer now to remove substantial amounts of garden waste so went 'rip-shit-or bust' at it. Since we got back from the UK two years ago now I haven't been able to trim the bushes and trees much so that now most of them are bloody monstrous.  I used a hand-saw as per usual and created vast piles of cuttings before I was exhausted. Looking around it appeared that I've hardy scratched the surface of what needs to be done. I need to motorise,



I've decided to buy a garden chainsaw, a petrol-driven one and tonight will Google -search options and go to Placemakers or Mite 10 tomorrow.

I'll tell The Old Girl tonight and no doubt she will warn me about chopping off an arm or a leg but, needs must.


Wednesday 18 April 2018

PLANE SPEAKING


Airlines have been in the news this week, even more than usual.

Air New Zealand's new Dreamliner may possibly have problems and have to be refitted.
Air New Zealand is making changes to some international flights after being forced to carry out early maintenance checks on its engines.
In March, Rolls-Royce told airlines to check a specific part of the Trent 1000 engine compressor on all planes earlier than usual.
This type of check is usually required after reaching making 2000 one-way flights, however Roll-Royce are requiring them to now be checked after 300 flights.
                                                                                                            - Stuff News

In a statement, Air New Zealand said there would be some impact to its international schedule, however it could not say how many flights would be affected or when.
Still, it's better than having the engines blow up I guess as happened here:




Southwest Airlines flight 1380, en route from New York to Dallas, with 143 passengers and five crew, was forced to make an emergency landing in Philadelphia, where the mother of two, identified as Jennifer Riordan, was declared dead and seven other passengers were treated for minor injuries.
                                                                                                           - The Australian

A Southwest Airlines passenger was been killed after being partially sucked out of a blown out window, when the plane engine appeared to explode.


Unfortunate wording in this advertisement given the circumstances


I heard a news report where some dispshit American reporter surmised what could have happened if the wings fell off or went on fire (they didn't) but this doomsayer kept banging on about what if .....  what an arsehole.
He might as well have wondered what would have happened as in how many passengers would have been killed if Thor had thrown a hammer out of the skies and it hit the plane.



****************


Today I read an article about the possible future of airline travel and what sort of seating we might expect.

.


Passengers brace yourselves. This image shows what one company wants to do to economy class on flights, and it appears to be rather painful,

You know that annoying game of elbow wars you're already quite used to playing with your seatmare? Well that will pale in comparison to what's planned for you.
And that tiny bit of space they call legroom these days that you've long complained about? Well, say goodbye.
This is what the future of flying will look like, if Italian seat manufacturer Aviointeriors has a say.
The company unveiled their latest design at the Aircraft Interiors Expo 2018 in Hamburg. It's called the SkyRider 2.0 affectionately known as the "saddle seat".
In reality, they are more like "standing seats" than actual seats as you'll be left supporting your body weight using the floor. Great for the thigh muscles, though.
Aviointeriors have compared the seating position to that of a horseback rider, stating that cowboys can sit on saddles for hours without feeling discomfort. So why couldn't we?
The design would allow airlines to squeeze in an extra 20 per cent more seats, with the "ultra high-density" seats reducing the space between rows. They will weigh half as much as existing seats.

                                                                                    - New Zealand Herald



So. What next?


NEW POST - THE FOOD CURMUDGEON















Tuesday 17 April 2018

THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND (PART 2)

I've got a sore knee.

I hurt this while playing that extreme sport - golf - back in November. See HERE
I thought that it was coming right but this is because after I was able to stop using the crutches I assumed that it was fixed. Wrong! It's been 5 months now and the knee still occasionally gives way on me  and I have to use a knee brace when walking, playing tennis and, yes, playing golf.



Time had run away on me though as I hadn't realised that it was so long ago that I hurt the knee. I had visited White Cross a couple of months ago but left when I saw how many people were waiting. Yesterday, after scaring myself by reading on the web about knee injuries and, if untreated can lead to arthritis problems, I went again to White Cross armed with my ACC letter (no payment required which saved me about $80). There didn't seem to be many people waiting so I fronted up and was asked to wait. For three bloody hours! This time I forgot to take my iPad or a book to read so sat there staring at the fish in the aquarium.

I glanced at the magazines on offer but then seeing and hearing spluttering, coughing, spitting and otherwise secreting other patients I decided against choosing a 2010 issue of North and South or last years Women's Weekly. I'm always wary of handling anything in doctor's and dentist's surgeries and even carefully choose supermarket trollies to use.

Eventually I was seen and here's where I get to one of the things I don't understand. When the doctor checked out my knee there was no pain when he manipulated it. None. I find that this often happens to me and I'm sure that it happens to others. At home the sickness or injury symptoms and pain are pronounced but try to explain it to the doctor and all is OK. What's that about? Is it some kind of bodily defense mechanism to not let strangers know your weaknesses or is it some sort of psychological thing? Now, today, the day after visiting the doctor my knee is more painful than before.



Fortunately the doc is aware of this phenomenon and wrote a referral letter for me to an orthopedic surgeon. I'll go and get a check up and a MRI scan which may lead to surgery to remove some damaged or rogue cartilage. Better to get this sort of thing sorted early before it leads to further problems eh?




SOME THINGS I DON'T UNDERSTAND (PART ONE)

There are many things in life that don't make sense to me and I'm not just talking about the big things like: The non-existence of god; why double basses have to be so big; why commercial cleaners reside in cupboards when at work; and, why I had to wait 3 hours at White Cross yesterday just to see a doctor.

Here is one of the things that mystify me:


"A Christchurch man has gone on hunger strike in a push for his earthquake insurance claim to be resolved.
Peter Glasson's home suffered significant damage in the 2010 and 2011 earthquakes, but he's still waiting on insurance company Southern Response to play fair.
"We have four engineering reports, one of which was paid for by Southern Response [which says] we have significant damage to our foundation," he told The AM Show.
"They then went and got another engineer who says we don't."
Mr Glasson says vowing off food, which he began on Tuesday morning, is his last resort.
"We've tried to speak to Southern Response. They're refusing to meet with us and refusing to discuss our claim and so it's just a very problematic position that we've got ourselves into.
"There must be another process that is a more practical process for resolving these claims than simply just delaying them like Southern Response does."
Insurance Claims Specialist Dean Lester says Mr Glasson's case is just the tip of the iceberg." - MSN


I mean, it's like saying "Give me what I want or I'll poke myself in the eye with a pointed stick." Ridiculous. I've never understood the hunger strike threat. If you don't want to eat then don't eat.

Yes, yes I'm aware of the famous hunger strikers around the world who have had very legitimate reasons for protesting but it still, to me is a strange way of threatening someone.

I liked Mel Brooks take on this in Blazing Saddles HERE

Monday 16 April 2018

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

Having recovered from the excesses following (and during) THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ's April meeting, The Religious Curmudgeon has created a new post : HERE




Sunday 15 April 2018

THE CURMUDGEONS INC. MEETING APRIL 2018

.



Welcome all of THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ and associates. Thanks for coming.

The Mundane Curmudgeon has done an attendance check and we have here:

The Curmudgeon (me, ha ha)
The Curmudgeon Express
The Religious Curmudgeon
The Darker Curmudgeon
The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt
The Food Curmudgeon
The Philosophical Curmudgeon
The Curmudgeonly Luddite
The Cultured Curmudgeon
The Music Curmudgeon
The Twitter Curmudgeon
The Wine Guy
The Wine Guy (New)
The Wine Guy Express
Bas's Bag
Good Kiwi Bloke
Zweite Geige

and of course The Mundane Curmudgeon (ha ha).

This is a big meeting and The Mundane Curmudgeon has had a lot to do to get it underway but then, that's why he's The Mundane Curmudgeon I guess. On my recommendation he approached Richard's Bass Bagg (and its offshoots) and Robert to see if they could assist in the organising and to, of course attend the after-meeting piss-up wine tasting set up by The Wine Guy. There was no response from Richard (of RBB) but this might be because it's his wedding anniversary this weekend (either that or Shelley finally strangled him with a bass string). Richard's alter-egos seem to have ceased to be involved in the blogging community. Robert said that he'd like to give a hand but he has both hands occupied. Never mind, The Mundane Curmudgeon has it all sorted.

Now you'll notice that The Old Girl isn't here. I just drove her in to the airport for her flight to Auckland. Well, actually she drove as she wanted to try out the 'new' car and I drove home. As per usual she treated the Corolla like a rally car, testing it on corners with rapid gear changes, braking and acceleration and on the flat straights with full-on power. Frankly I was pleased to arrive in one piece but she is a good driver. I was a bit concerned though as she has hardly driven over the last 5 years and it is definitely 5 years since she drove a manual gear change car.

She is however now in Auckland so (coincidentally) we can have the meeting (thanks The Mundane Curmudgeon for keeping things schtum).

***********************

.............. (General business was discussed with some competitor analysis reported on. Points to note were the disappearance of Richard's Bass Bagg cohorts ( who may be sulking since the collapse of the Confederacy) and the ultimate failure (despite some promising signs) of Robert's blog in terms of coherency, consistency and durability.)

To conclude


The Curmudgeon: 

Right guys. As you know I have a lot of commitments on at present having sold our apartment and bought another, the paperwork, banking details and physical shift all has to happen before or on the 24th of this month. 

Zweite Geige:

Anzac Day is the day after on the 25th .....

The Curmudgeon: 

(through gritted teeth) Yes thanks for that ZG  (you little bastard Nazi) I know that and that's why the settlement day is being brought forward so that all good Kiwis can celebrate New Zealand's victories over the last two centuries ....

Zweite Geige:  

Hey, what are you implying you ....

The Curmudgeon:

How many World wars have you lot won then? ..

Zweite Geige:

Schweinhund!  I've been working hard to help my adopted country no matter how backward all you peasants are. I've ......

The Darker Curmudgeon:

Sit down you little cunt or I'll plant you ...

The Mundane Curmudgeon:

Ha ha ... guys....guys.... settle down OK

The Curmudgeon: 

Hey The Mundane Curmudgeon, let them have a go at each other. Look, it's been me (and the Religious and The Food Curmudgeons) who've been keeping things going recently. The rest of these lazy bastards have just been sitting around with their thumbs up their arses. I reckon....

The Cultured Curmudgeon:

You cunt!

The Philosophical Curmudgeon:

I say, The Cultured Curmudgeon, that's a bit strong isn't it?

The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt:

You can fuck off too The Philosophical Curmudgeon, I'm sick of your trite observations and it's just as well that you haven't posted for a while. Enjoy that thumb up your arse did you? (sorry Robert).




General hubbub, shouting, fighting, bottles breaking etc



The Curmudgeon: 

Guys, guys , cut it out. The Wine Guy put on some great wines tonight (that he got free from sponsors). Settle down.

If you don't you can all fuck off as my pizza (home -made pepperoni) is nearly ready. This Villa Maria Cellar Selection Pinot Noir is pretty good - thanks The Wine Guy.



************************


MEETING ENDED AT 6:19 PM


HOT NEWS OF A COOL IDEA

The weather has been odd over the last week.
A few days ago the temperature dropped to about 12 degrees and  it was cool enough to put a pullover on and even to consider lighting a fire in the evening.

This weekend it's back to over 20 degrees and after my walk this morning I'm boiling hot as Dad says when he takes his shirt off in Friday Night Dinner

"I'm boiling"



This prompted another 'BILLION DOLLAR IDEA'

I've had these before:

HERE

and

HERE

and

HERE

The Old Girl always says "You must be dreaming" but one of these days one of my ideas will come off.

***********************


Today my 'Eureka' idea is for every household to have a person-sized heating or cooling machine.
This device, a bit smaller than a shower cubicle could allow someone to step into it and set the mechanism to either instant heating or instant cooling - whichever is required.

The object is to quickly lower or increase body temperature to the ambient temperature in the house.
This would preclude the necessity of having to cool or warm the entire house when one is just temporarily too hot or too cold. 


For heating it will be like a human microwave oven, toaster or 'whirlpool' appliance .







For cooling it will be like a human sized version of a wine bottle cooler or instant cooldown fridges.








What could possibly go wrong?

Saturday 14 April 2018

ANNIVERSARIES



Richard and Shelley got married 34 years ago today. That's a hell of a long time ago until you remember how old Richard is and that this is only just over half of his lifetime. He wasted the rest of his years.

Apparently 34 years of marriage is Opel. I hope that he remembered to get Shelley one.

OPEL - Mokka-X

************************

I was at Richard and Shelley's wedding in Northland (Wellington's version) in 1984. It was a good 'do'. I drove down from Auckland and parked the car in The James Cook hotel where I was staying and walked up to Northland. Shelley looked stunning and Richard behaved himself for a change.

**************************

Lynn and I celebrated our 30th 'anniversary' earlier this year. 30 years of being happily unmarried she said even if I didn't buy her a present. Time flies when you're having fun.

****************************

Congratulations Richard and Shelley. I trust that you have something nice planned for this evening and that you have some nice wine (or at least wine with labels on the bottles).

NEW POST - THE FOOD CURMUDGEON



IT'S GETTING COLDER - TIME FOR SOME WARMING MEALS




Thursday 12 April 2018

IT'S SUCH A SHAME







The once mighty Richard's Bass Bag is now a mere shadow of its former self.
This blog was once rising so fast in worldwide readership that the URLM survey listed it in the top 10 million blogs in USA.
Sadly it has now slipped to a ranking of #37,587,984 see HERE


It's even slipped below this blog HERE and I'm pretty sure that even Robert's blogs will soon be outstripping it.


Wednesday 11 April 2018

HAVING A BATH IS SUPPOSED TO BE RELAXING - ISN'T IT?

It's been cold today - at least 10 degrees lower  than it was last week. I decided to have a leisurely bath in the early afternoon. A chance for a soak and to read as it was starting to rain.



Sure enough as soon as I'd settled in there was a knock on the door. It was Rod my neighbour wanting to see my new car.  I ignored his knocking for a while and then recalled how years ago when I was living in Upland Road in Wellington I ignored a knock on the door when I was in the bath and bloody Mike Moroney stuck his head through the bathroom window. "Oh, you're in the bath" he said. WTF? Did he think I was on the toilet or something? If so what did he look in for? No wonder we called him Mike the moron.

Anyway I hastily dressed (still wet) and let Rod in. I showed him the car while ignoring his hints that a coffee would be nice. I did relent when he hinted at a game of snooker which we played before I tossed him out. I went back to my bath - now cooling and ran some more hot water. I'd just got in again when the phone rang.




It was the house phone and I ignored it as very few people ring me on the landline. I settled and began reading my book again. Then my cell phone rang. I thought I'd better answer this as I'd been in contact with the bank about some fraudulent charges on my credit card and it might have been them.

It wasn't.

It was Richard (of RBB). I told him that I'd just got out of the bath and was standing in the hallway naked and dripping. "Oh, I'm so sorry he said - I'll call you back later".

I got back into the bath and settled again.

30 seconds later my cellphone phone rang again. I got out and just said "Bastard!". There was no answer but I knew that it was Richard again. I gave up on the bath, dried off and dressed and went to the kitchen to prepare lunch. I rang Richard back on his cell phone (no answer) and left a message.
A few minutes later the landline rang again - Richard. We had a good chat.