PLAYING (THE FOOL)

I had a busy day today: Out and about shopping because we have visitors here for the entire long weekend; going to SPARK to sort out my phone (getting the ring times extended from one and a bit to a maximum 5 rings before the damned thing cuts off and goes to voice mail); receiving the new clothes dryer and trying to work out how to register it, get installation instructions and set up its WiFi capability via a difficult App; and then doing housework - vacuuming and bathroom cleaning. Sheesh! I need a long holiday weekend to recover.

This afternoon though I did get away for a tennis lesson at the tennis club. When I returned I told The Old Girl that the instructor told me that I was a natural and should be on the circuit. "Yeah right" she said, "I think he said 'circus' not 'circuit'. Oh she of little faith. I did learn a few things though - basically that forever I've been holding my tennis racket with the wrong grip and standing wrong and leading off with the wrong foot and ... it'll be good to put what I've learned into practice next time I play.

"APRIL IS THE CRUELLEST MONTH" ...

... wrote T.S. Eliot in The Waste Land ... "breeding lilacs out of the dead land, mixing memory and desire, stirring dull roots with spring rain" but as I've posted on this before I'll save myself time by putting in this link to the post and you can still enjoy it. Enjoy: April is the cruellest month

April in the Northern hemisphere is associated with the season of Spring which is Autumn in our Southern hemisphere and Eliot's poetic device is to upend the seasons in his description but you will of course have noticed that.

Moving on - its a lovely day here in Thorndon but no doubt raining in the Hutt. 

I'd go for a long walk but have a sore foot for some reason. I'll trot along to the supermarket later which is a handy 5 minute walk away. This will have to make do for exercise unless I do some rowing, stepping and biking in the 'gym' this afternoon.

I did move the fridges, the wine racks and the bookshelf in the garage earlier to make room for the clothes dryer I bought yesterday (to be delivered tomorrow) so that was a bit of exercise (and no, I didn't hurt my foot doing this). This will make for a good post - with pictures - on Thursday afternoon for you.

"Man's Own country, studded with grim effigies marked Greed, Authority, Pride and Law – armour to be assumed for adult occasions. And humour: kindness: sacred and redeeming graces as I had seen them and loved them in the old policeman – how easily, how willingly extinguished! That night marked an end: the end of the golden weather".

          Bruce Mason 'The End of the Golden Weather' 

"SHELF AWARENESH" ...

... Sean Connery.

As promised here's the new post about the garage cupboards installation.

I know that you've been waiting patiently for this and Trent Horn apologises for the delay.

"Mea culpa"

First though - a recap, so here's a link to an earlier post on the subject: HERE

The installation guy came early this morning and has just left after putting in the bespoke cabinets.

Before:

After:

I told The Old Girl as she was leaving for work this morning that when she came home the cabinets would be installed and I'll have jammed all our stuff into them.

"Yeah right" she answered inferring that I won't get a say in what is going to go on the shelves.

Oh well, it'll make the garage/gym tidier.

 

NOW THERE'S A FUNNY THING ...

 I was sitting down and lifted my foot to look at the sock I was wearing:

I was intrigued by the logo at the top - a sort of regal 'R' which I thought strange because the brand of the socks is Swanndri.

When I put both feet together and looked at the socks the penny dropped:

The other sock has an 'L' at the top so this must designate 'left' and the other 'right'.

How clever this is but it obviously doesn't work as the 'R' was on my left foot and the 'L' was on my right foot. What's that about?

*******************************

Anyway, on another matter concerning footwear, at Christmas-time I purchased some sturdy walking shoes from Mountain Warehouse. These are strong and well made and cost over $200. I wore them once and walked a few kms around town but they hurt my feet. I put this down to the fact that I was recovering from a broken toe at the time.

The other day I wore them for the second time, again walking about town but ended up with sore toes.

Looking closely at them I realised that I hadn't bought 'wide-fitting' shoes like the Sketchers I buy and, while there is nothing wrong with the shoes they are not suited to my feet.

Unfortunately I don't have the receipt for these to return them for credit or exchange so plan to give them away to an Op Shop. Before I do this however ,I'd like to offer them to Richard or Robert if they want them provided that they can wear a standard or narrow (not wide-fitting) shoe. Either of you please let me know before I donate them to charity.

They are size 11 UK or 12 US and have only been worn twice.

GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

 

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A PORSCHE AND A PORCUPINE?

With the porcupine, the pricks are on the outside.

 We live in a reasonably nice area with schools and embassies in the street. I'm not aware of there being any gang headquarters (other than the US Embassy) or yahoos living in our and surrounding streets but there are some nuisance types - rich bastards.

There are, living in the street and nearby, several idiots who drive expensive fast cars who from time to time travel way too fast up our narrow street which, as said has two schools and children and elderly people (mainly me) who cross the road.

Two in particular are a dark blue Maserati and a light grey Porsche. I posted on Facebook's Thorndon community site a query and a complaint about the Porsche and someone else has complained about the Maserati.

Yesterday as I drove down Hobson Street I was behind the grey Porsche which, out of character, was cruising slowly. The driver was looking for a car park which normally are easy to find for residents who have preferential parking but, being around the time of school pick-ups, most parks were occupied - legally or otherwise. The car turned right into a side street where the US embassy is and I decided to follow it. The driver found a park and I drove past and turned around at the end of the short dead end street. I drove back to the parked Porsche and stopped. The driver, a woman (flash blonde tart in her 40s) got out and I confronted her. I asked her, politely, if she would take more care in driving and with her speed especially in Hobson street where there are two schools. She expressed surprise and asked when she had been speeding. I told her that it wasn't just now when she was looking for a park but many times over the last couple of months where she has driven at excessive speeds. She seemed non-plussed and was quiet but then said that she was sorry and will watch it in the future.

Now she will probably ignore this 'fatherly' advice and was thinking that I was an old busybody but I feel that sometimes you have to make the effort. I'd feel ashamed if I hadn't and a kid or an OAP get's killed trying to cross the road some time in the future.

I have her number plate details now so, if I see that car speeding again I will send the details to the police.

OK, here's another corny joke for you that almost fits this post:

Q: Why did the Porsche go to school? 

A: To accelerate its knowledge.

THE SEVENTH WAVE

 

The term "seventh wave" most commonly refers to a long-standing maritime legend that waves travel in sets, with the seventh wave being the largest and most powerful. 

1. Maritime Folklore & Science The Legend: Sailors and coastal communities (such as in the Aran Islands) have long believed that every seventh wave is the peak of a cycle, traveling further up the beach and carrying more momentum than those before it.
Scientific Basis: While it is a myth that it is always the seventh wave, oceanographers note that waves do travel in "sets" or "groups". Due to constructive interference, waves in the middle of a set tend to be larger. If a set contains roughly 14 waves, the seventh or eighth often naturally becomes the largest.
Safety: The "seventh wave" serves as a warning for shore-dwellers to remain vigilant, as a larger mid-set wave can easily knock someone off their feet.

OK, got that?

The Old Girl, who is a bit more observant than me commented that I always sneeze seven times in quick succession in the morning.

Now I do know that I sneeze for some reason (it's better than itching) I hadn't actually counted before but do now. By and large she's right - I do sneeze seven times. I'm not sure if the seventh one is the largest and most powerful and doubt that it could knock someone off their feet but it might be worth cultivating especially if some visitor is itching and scratching near me.

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES

An incursion is an entering into a place, often sudden, unwelcome, or invasive (e.g., enemy troops entering a country), whereas an excursion is a short trip or journey out of a place for leisure or educational purposes.

This doesn't stop the stupidest president that USA has ever had from saying that the invasion and war in Iran is an 'excursion'. The background to this is that, because declarations and engagements in war, under the US Constitution, have to be ratified by Congress, the Trump administration has taken to using weasel words so as not to use the word 'war'. Trump and his idiot entourage forget themselves and use the word 'war' and then contradict themselves, often in the same sentence. It's not unlike how Trump's buddy and that other criminal world leader Putin describes the Ukraine invasion and war as 'a special military exercise'. The weasel word that Trump's advisors wanted him to use is 'incursion' but the fool uses the word 'excursion'!

As I said before it would be funny if it wasn't sending the world in to a global war, killing people, destroying cities and infrastructure and likely to case a massive world-wide recession.

I guess that some time soon Trump will be sent packing by the Iranians or dumped at home by the electors so his choice of word might come true if looked at like this"

Incursion vs excursion definition and direction: Incursion means "running into" (entering). Excursion means "running out" (leaving).

 

I ROBERT... SORRY, I PETER

I've booked in for some tennis lessons.

I'm a bit of a hacker at tennis, a bit like the way I play golf.

I can serve well and have a sneaky spin shot but my volleys leave a lot to be desired.

I feel comfortable playing with the others at the club but most are better than me and I don't want to let them down so I'll see if I can improve on my volleys.

DONALD, WHERE'S YER TROOSERS

 

You would have seen Trump's latest 'down-trou' actions where the old idiot has made even more of a fool of himself and has been caught out in his incompetence, lies and increasing failures.

It really is ridiculous and would be funny if it wasn't so dangerous. Probably thousands of people have already died due to Trump's warmongering and a global financial crisis has started ... that is affecting me!

We had some money left over between selling our house up north and buying here so decided to invest it. We took financial advice and, two weeks before that fat orange idiot illegally attacked Iran, put our money in to an investment fund. Great timing eh.

When Trump's war started we wondered if we'd made a mistake and sure enough noticed our balance shrinking. After a couple of weeks the Old Girl and I decided to pull our money out of the fund and put it in to a fixed term savings account which will earn less but only by a couple of percent. It took a week to get the funds released and today I put it in to the savings account. The loss to us was a couple of thousand dollars which, in global terms isn't even the dust on peanuts but to us is a lot of money. This could have bought enough golf balls for me to continue playing at Berhampore!

I obviously blame Trump and if someone finds the idiot's trousers please check his pockets for us as this war will be greatly increasing his and his family's wealth, his billionaire buddies' wealth and that of his pal Putin in Russia.