Friday 3 May 2013

DONKEYSTONE SPORTING ARMS CHRISTMAS CATALOGUE


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Due to the phenomenal success of our infants' rifle range we have, in 2013 extended our range of children's toys 'with attitude'. Check out our new range here and get those orders in before the rush. We sold over 60,000 last Christmas and that old demand is just increasing.

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Remember how our Christmas catalogue used to look?



The pretty in pink range for girls was snapped up with proud daddies stripping our stores bare before Christmas last year.

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We have extended the range with this cute little number that can slip inside the doll pram or in the teddy bear's pocket. Every little princess from ages 3 to 10 will want one of these.
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This Christmas, for those customers who for some unpatriotic reason don't want to give a gun to their wee ones we have added some other categories, designer-made with the toddler in mind.


The 'buzzy-bee' chainsaw.  Attractively presented in blue for boys or pink for girls this is just the buzziness for the little guys who have a hankerin' to chop down a tree or two. Let'em fill it up with gas and get sawin'. Ideal for ages 2 to 8 years old.
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The Li'l Ripper circular saw for your budding handyman. This little monster will help your little monster help dad around the house. In colour choices of blue, red and green this while being light enough for the hands of a 3 y.o. can cut through any wall, joist or floorboard of your choice.

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The 'Nailed 'em' nail gun. For girls or boys - ages 4 to 10 this beauty would make Rambo jealous. Let them help old dad around the house or get them to put up their own posters on the walls. Keep Fluffy or Rover out of the way. Ha ha.

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How about the 'Chow's up' gas cooker for the little miss? Any 4 year old should know how to help mom in the kitchen. This whopper will crisp fry a chicken or anything in seconds.

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Is your wee man a budding chemist? If so forget about those lame chemistry sets. We have the 'Dr Strangelove home-starter' chemistry laboratory here. Any ages from 3 through 12 is suitable for this one. Comes fully stocked with most of the periodic table elements including the 'fun' stuff like mercury, lithium, sodium and potassium. The little guy will love this and, when he's in his teens can save money by cookin' his own (you know what we mean).

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All this and more for Christmas 2013. Look out for the full catalogue in the mail.

Don't worry about the bad press we're receiving for this alleged 'incident' here:



We're here to serve you and help provide learning experiences for your children.


2 comments:

Richard (of RBB) said...

Wow, I just looked at the link! Scarier than what's happening to me in Second's poetry.

Robert Sees Things in Sky said...

Yes and only 5 photos show adult supervision.
Reminds me of a photo in a home of a pre teen NZ boy aiming a big old 303 and a sergeant in uniform with a big mostache looking proudly on.
I never gave that photo a second thought until now!