7.15PM the phone rings. Is it the Old Girl ringing to say she will be late? Is it an emergency?
No, as usual when the phone rings between 6PM and 8.30PM on a weeknight it is probably some unsolicited advertising or promotional call offering home finance, holidays, special furnishing deals or a market research company wanting to know how often you go to the toilet.
Generally the calls are from somewhere in India or the Philippines. The Old Girl always asks them where they are calling from and won't accept anything but the truth on this - she's tough.
Although my name is The Curmudgeon I still find it hard to be too rude to these annoying callers as I know they are just trying to make a living.
Recently we have adopted a new way of dealing with the calls -obfuscation and obtuseness.
When we realise what the call is (Indian accents asking May I please speak to Mr...etc) we may do any of the following:
Caller: May I please speak to Mr...
Us: (delay...) Hello
Caller: May I please speak to Mr..
Us: Hello...Hello.. Is anyone there?
Caller: Yes Hello, may I please speak to Mr...
Us: Hello...Hello...Damn it. I'm sure there's someone there.. Hello.. Hello...
This can go on for a while with the caller getting more and more frustrated until they hang up.
or,
When we realise what the call is we say, "Just one moment" and put the phone down and finish dinner or watching a TV programme. Generally the caller has gone once you get back to the phone 15 minutes later.
or,
and this is the one I like best
Caller: May I please speak to Mr,..
Us: Right! I've been waiting days for you to call you Bastard. We ordered that (garage door, curtains, carpets, elephant ..whatever) weeks ago and still the bloody thing hasn't turned up. What are you going to do about it., We don't have time to wait around (etc etc for about 2 minutes) Generally the caller rings off.
No, as usual when the phone rings between 6PM and 8.30PM on a weeknight it is probably some unsolicited advertising or promotional call offering home finance, holidays, special furnishing deals or a market research company wanting to know how often you go to the toilet.
Generally the calls are from somewhere in India or the Philippines. The Old Girl always asks them where they are calling from and won't accept anything but the truth on this - she's tough.
Although my name is The Curmudgeon I still find it hard to be too rude to these annoying callers as I know they are just trying to make a living.
Recently we have adopted a new way of dealing with the calls -obfuscation and obtuseness.
When we realise what the call is (Indian accents asking May I please speak to Mr...etc) we may do any of the following:
Caller: May I please speak to Mr...
Us: (delay...) Hello
Caller: May I please speak to Mr..
Us: Hello...Hello.. Is anyone there?
Caller: Yes Hello, may I please speak to Mr...
Us: Hello...Hello...Damn it. I'm sure there's someone there.. Hello.. Hello...
This can go on for a while with the caller getting more and more frustrated until they hang up.
or,
When we realise what the call is we say, "Just one moment" and put the phone down and finish dinner or watching a TV programme. Generally the caller has gone once you get back to the phone 15 minutes later.
or,
and this is the one I like best
Caller: May I please speak to Mr,..
Us: Right! I've been waiting days for you to call you Bastard. We ordered that (garage door, curtains, carpets, elephant ..whatever) weeks ago and still the bloody thing hasn't turned up. What are you going to do about it., We don't have time to wait around (etc etc for about 2 minutes) Generally the caller rings off.
11 comments:
A good read!
I too have stratergies for these calls:
1) I butt in and tell them about my double bass busking plans in detail.
2) I pretend that I only talk Italian.
3) I keep trying to get them off topic with questions like,
"What are your plans for tomorrow?"
Sometimes I feel a little mean.
I must try you're "I'll be right back"! My mother used to do that.
A much easier way is to just ask them if they are wearing any clothes.
When I was flatting in Wellington, in Oriental Bay years ago one of my flatmates was receiving strange phone calls asking her what colour her underwear was. Was that you John Locke?
I can't remember the phone number we had but you probably do!
Can you remember the date? Just a rough guess will do,
10 October 1977
Look up yur phone records!
John Locke (this one, anyway) was a boy then.
The inks all smudged so I can't really tell.
If it's a sales call I like to answer all their questions, get them excited and at the end say "No thanks"!
brother ass, you are the devil reinvented!
Those are just my ears.
Interesting that we all seem to have similar strategies for dealing with these people. I especially like that one in the post where TC berates the poor bast**d for some imagined failure of delivery/service. Very creative, must try it.
What I find even more surprising, even shocking is the lack of alter egos in the comments, yet a change in non de plumes. Richard Prowse as Richard )of RBB), Brother Ass as second/fiddle whatever.
I wonder who/when the mutations crept in.
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