Another year has begun so what will it bring us?
On TV we may see new reality shows like ’A Day in the Life of a Toilet Cleaner”. This has great disgust value with likely close-up shots of ‘shotgun’ toilet bowls, vomit-filled basins and clogged urinals. Yum.
Staying with TV it is long overdue for a competitive series like ‘Celebrity Music Teacher – Who can best control the hormonally charged teenagers and get them to appreciate the finer aspects of life… and live.
On the political front, in place of Rodney Hide wearing his yellow ties we may see Murray McCulley in Fiji finally cutting the arms and legs off of his pinstriped suit. Currently he looks ridiculous wearing it in a hot climate and also his party may just well leave him over there for all the use he is elsewhere.
In music we will no doubt see yet another icon disgracing him or herself by fornicating with a Meer cat at the zoo or exposing him/herself at the Destiny Church’s Sunday service.
The Tablet, the long-established Catholic newspaper will be outed for having been using subliminal images of fornicating devils in their feature pages to woo back a dwindling subscriber base.
It will be proven that the New Zealand wine industry has been a cleverly orchestrated scam driven by off-shore billionaire expats like Brierley, Myers, Fay and Richwhite. They have created shell buildings in scenic locations and have been secretly bulk importing wines from Uruguay, Chile and Argentina.
Whitebait will be proven, as many have suspected, to be a cynical scam perpetuated by South Islanders, whereby maggots are packaged up and sold at outrageous prices to naive Aucklanders.
A proven link will be exposed between Government controlled TV 1 and 2 and ‘Independent TV3 and others. The cartel will be shown to have been creating ‘jobs for the boys’ while milking unsuspecting viewers and advertisers.
Muslim extremists will recruit menstruating women and plant explosives in their tampons before they board airplanes.
I could go on but I will just depress myself.
P.S. jet skiers have been seen up here in paradise. I think I will get myself a gun.
7 comments:
Now, this is more like the Comeinyourpants of old! Welcome back, you old codger.
"On TV we may see new reality shows like ’A Day in the Life of a Toilet Cleaner”. This has great disgust value with likely close-up shots of ‘shotgun’ toilet bowls, vomit-filled basins and clogged urinals."
Mike Rowe does a good one on Discovery "Dirty Jobs". But I notice he is getting a bit slack, doing a bit of a clean then running of to lie down with a coffee.
"then running of to lie down with a coffee."
What?
Lie down with a coffee?
Did you forget to finish the sentence and meant " lie down with a coffee-coloured woman? Or, "lie down with a coffee importer?
Curmudgeon,
I've been doing a bit of reading on Richard's and your blog.
Are you the Peter McDonald who was at Marist Newtown in the 1960s?
If so we were in the same class in standard 3, before my family moved to Wadestown and I attended Marist Thorndon with Richard.
I didn't go to St. Pats, but went to boarding school. I caught up with Richard at a jazz course in the 1980s.
I've enjoyed skim reading your blog. There are some good moments.
I don't think that Richard's blogs are meant to be serious.
It's a pity he needs to play the clown all the time. Maybe that's why he never really got his music career together? Never mind, he seems happy.
Dave Shaw
Oh, I forgot to mention, I've been invited to Tony's wedding in Feb.
We might catch up then, if you're going. I seem to remember hearing that you two were friends. Maybe Richard that?
Dave Shaw
"Maybe Richard that?"
Dave, I really advise against learning grammar from Robert.
"I don't think that Richard's blogs are meant to be serious."
Ithink you should seriously consider deleting that comment!
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