Well, when I say 'success' I guess I mean that it gets a few extra clicks - it's not like The Wine Guy's blog or Kim Kardashian's Twitter account. Anyway, as I've been a bit slack in blogging recently I thought that I'd give my blog a boost by
Taking advantage of Air New Zealand's 10th anniversary of Grab a Seat and the special $1 flight deals, I arranged for some inaugural guests to fly up here to form the panel. Unfortunately Richard himself is afraid of flying and I assume that his alter-egos are too so the panel was made up of:
The Wine Guy from The Wine GuyThe Wine Guy from The Wine Guy (New)
The Wine Guy from The Wine Guy Express
but we'll just refer to all three of him as The Wine Guy
Geramy aka Robert was too shy to provide an image so I've used an appropriate one instead.
Bas from Bas's Bag
The strange guy from Zweite Geige
(The Curmudgeon Express guy will fill in when I have to get drinks, make coffee etc).
The Curmudgeon: Welcome all, glad you could make it up here this morning.
ALL: (hubbub, coughing, shuffling and farting)
Bas: Ooops - better out than in.
The Curmudgeon: That's OK Bas. Scatological! Ha, ha, ha, ha.... OK never-mind, it was just a reference to that other blog with a Saturday morning panel. I'm not surprised that you've never seen it. Let's get settled. I've lit the fire in the lounge and started up the coffee espresso machine. None of that vile instant coffee here ha, ha.
The Wine Guy: I'd prefer a wine. Have you got any wine? Maybe a couple. Can I have a selection? I usually have two or three glasses on the go at any one time. I bought some good chardonnay from Blackmarket and a few cases of pinot noir from Fine Wines On Line. They were pretty good. Have you got a sweet wine maybe? A Sauternes will do ....
The Curmudgeon: (under his breath) Fuck!
Bas: I'll have a red ta.
The Strange Guy: Nein.
The Curmudgeon: Nine?
The Strange Guy: No, nein.
The Curmudgeon: (under his breath) Fuck!
Geramy: I'll have a beer - home brew thanks.
The Curmudgeon: (under his breath) Fuck!
Bas: What the fuck's this I asked for a red.
The Curmudgeon: It is a red - Pinot Noir.
Bas: Nah mate. Red - Lion Red. Jeez.
The Curmudgeon: (under his breath) Fuck!
The Wine Guy: This isn't a Sauterne. It smells like a Barsac. Did I ever tell you the story about when I was in France and..
The Curmudgeon: (loudly) Gentlemen, gentlemen please. Let's settle down and get started. We don't have much time as your flights back are leaving in a couple of hours. Geramy, why don't you start off. What have you been up to over the last week?
Geramy: Good, im glad you asked that. You know I've been buzy so bussy in ffcat that I get up before ive even gone to bed I pray tomy God Jesus before fixing his holy church which I then cleen for him before cleening hosueses for all thos ungreatfull bistards who i work four and then my wife has sum lounge sweets and 4 door wardrobes for me to pik up from trade me every afternoon and tehn i have to rebuild them turning the 4 door wuns into 3 doors and then i brew some more beer drink it and get up again before i go to bed again..
The Curmudgeon: (under his breath) Fuck!
The Strange Guy: Vass iss god hein?
The Curmudgeon: Now Strange Guy, don't start him off again for fuck's sake - Who wants coffee?
ALL: (mumbles Cappucino, farts, Espresso, hubub, Flat white, farts, Lion Red)
The Curmudgeon: (under his breath) Fuck! Well, time's up guys I'd better get you back to the airport.
* This inaugural meeting will be the only one.
2 comments:
I drink gods good water after Jesus has had a go at it.
Not much information came out. None actually. Not a touch on my Saturday morning show. You should have called it "Meet The SCrewballs"! I suggest that you stick to what you know - dealing with damage after storms.
I will not be recommending this gathering of freaks to my readers.
Richard (of RBB)
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