A NEW USE FOR THE BIBLE

My dad used to give me Christmas gifts like:


Practical Problem Solver

Readers Digest Repair Manual

How to Fix Things

D.I.Y. For Dummies

and other home hint things. I think he was trying to tell me that I was crap at building and fixing things. Not that it helped much.

Richard (of RBB) in a comment on Second Fiddle's post created a spoof extract from the Bible on mould eradication (the post was eradicated later by its own creator) which was funny and got me thinking of how the Bible could be useful as a kind of day to day reference book like building repair, sex advice, fixing electronics, car maintenance and of course cooking.

Relationship advice

With regards to cooking the Bible is full of handy hints although some are dated, arcane or frankly weird.

"Then it shall come about when the Lord your God brings you into the land which He swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, to give you, great and splendid cities which you did not build, and houses full of all good things which you did not fill, and hewn cisterns which you did not dig, vineyards and olive trees which you did not plant, and you eat and are satisfied."

- Deuteronomy 6:10-11

This kind of sounds like invasion, burglary and theft although Second Fiddle could be wrong.


"For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land, a land of brooks of water, of fountains and springs, flowing forth in valleys and hills; a land of wheat and barley, of vines and fig trees and pomegranates, a land of olive oil and honey." 

 - Deuteronomy 8:7-8

Sounds good. I don't know why the Lord didn't bring them there first instead of the home invasions the old sabre rattler was advocating earlier.

"Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself."

 
- Ezekiel 4:9.

Not exactly much help here - hardly a cooking tip. What about a bloody recipe?

"Now you shall eat it [the unblemished lamb] in this manner: with your loins girded, your sandals on your feet, and your staff in your hand; and you shall eat it in haste—it is the Lord’s Passover. " 

        - Exodus 12:11

I put this into the weird category. Either it's a description of takeaway food or an admonishment to those jokers who used to eat their lamb dishes in the nude.


"The lambs will be for your clothing and the goats will bring the price of a field. There will be goats’ milk enough for your food, for the food of your household, and sustenance for your maidens." 

 - Proverbs 27:26-27)

Providing you've got a few maidens then this is a handy one

"They shall eat the flesh that same night, roasted with fire, and they shall eat it with unleavened bread and bitter herbs. "  

- Exodus 12:8

Not exactly Hester Blumenthal but might suit the Paleo freaks out there.


" Please test your servants for ten days, and let us be given some vegetables to eat and water to drink." 

 - Daniel 1:12

Nice to see that not only the Paleos are catered to but veggos as well.


"Have you found honey? Eat only what you need that you not have it in excess and vomit it."

 - Proverbs 25:16

Something here for those with a sweet tooth but with some sage advice although the manner of delivery could do with a bit of a polish up.