Friday, 11 July 2025

BUK - BUK - BUK

 I was a bit confused at a comment and image Richard posted on his blog this morning:




I checked the internet for 'dried and dressed' and found this image:



Yes, I can see the similarity.


Thursday, 10 July 2025

BAD HABITS

Richard's been practising a lot on his instruments recently and doing 'the Atomic Habits' whatever that is.
I practised my instruments for two hours yesterday - one hour each. I'm still doing the Atomic Habits. Within those habits I include work on four solo pieces on each instrument.

I initially thought that Atomic Habits was the name of a 60s psychedelic band like Toby Twirl which sounded like something he would have been involved in. I couldn't find an Atomic Habits band but did find Toby Twirl.




 

I then did another Google search and found Atomic Rooster ...

... who had a song titled 'Devil's Answer'. Seeing as Richard was also banging on about tritone substitution maybe that was what he had in mind.



Anyway - more power to him I say, maybe atomic power (a little joke there).

As he's planning on starting up The Prowse Brothers band again some new material wouldn't go amiss.

Some new members wouldn't either. I'm sure that prospects are lining up out there:

"Giza job mate"





OLD MOA(NERS)

Extinct

(of a species, family, or other group of animals or plants) having no living members; no longer in existence.


Yes, I know that you immediately thought of those other old bloggers blogs when you read that but I'm referencing the Moa in that.

"You talkin' about me?"

Coincidently those old fossils have both been writing about moa in their recent posts:

"I just read Robert's latest post. I see that he is worried about the possible return of the Moa. He seems to think that Moa were carnivores and that they weren't 'wiped out'. I heard that settlers wiped them out because they were eating their crops. If this is true, they don't sound like carnivores. Anyway, I'm no expert on this topic"
        - Richard of Richard's Bass Bag


             -  The Correspondent from Feilding


I wonder if they remember that I covered the 'Moa situation' some time ago in a previous post: SEE HERE


They could save themselves a lot of trouble if they'd only re-read my excellent and informative posts using the handy  'Search this blog' feature in my blog.



Tuesday, 8 July 2025

11 MORE ANGRY MEN

I've accepted jury duty and will be turning up next month for the selection process.

I feel that I have the requirements that are needed including:

  • A good education
  • Maturity and life experience
  • Managerial and commercial history with ability to process facts and come up with informed decisions
  • Some law study knowledge
  • Past jury duty experience
  • Open-mindedness formed by widespread reading and following of local, national and international politics news and social developments
  • Involvement in local community initiatives and groups
  • 16 years living in local community....
... which means I'll likely be knocked out at the first challenges by either the defence or prosecution lawyers - if I get through the ballot system.

Oh well I'll keep you posted up until I get elected or not. If selected the law requires that I cannot communicate on any case I'm involved in.










NOEL WAS NAKED!*

No doubt the post headline got your attention.


Sensationalist newspapers have been using those for years like:

And:

And the famous The Sun's Falkland war headline:


Well Richard employs these as well to try to draw in readers to his blog. His latest is this:


Yes, well, obviously that one didn't work and I can't imagine anyone being drawn in by it.


* The heading of this post was actually used by Richard in a post over 20 years ago.

This was before he started blogging and invented Richard's Bass Bag. Back then he was using real post and started sending me bizarre letters one of which was titled NOEL WAS NAKED!

"OK", you might ask, "What's wrong with that?". Well, I'll tell you. Richard back in the day when using the real post - aka NZ Post didn't use envelopes to enclose his missives like a normal person would. No, he would just write his nonsense on a big piece of paper and fold it several times before addressing one side and attaching a stamp. The trouble of course was that a lot of his ravings were on display on the other side of the folded paper for the postman and anyone else interested to see. I don't know what they thought but it wouldn't have been good.

Thank Robert's god that he discovered the internet and blogging so that his posts can now languish in secrecy and obscurity.





Monday, 7 July 2025

THE BIG QUESTIONS

It's only Monday and already those other bloggers are posing big questions on life, the universe, time, beds and lampshades. Blimey!


Richard

"Does this make my bum look big?"


Robert

Time for a change


Me

"Did Modest Mussorgsky blow his own trumpet?"














Sunday, 6 July 2025

LOCKER ROOM

The perfume or fragrance industry has reached market saturation where any Tom, Dick or Harry can, if they have a 'name' or connections, scam potential users and generally followers with some other weird smelling shit. Think Kardashians here, or Trumps, sports stars  or the rich-lister offspring of celebrities and wealthy people around the world including in New Zealand.

Many brands and individuals are continually releasing new perfumes and colognes, leading to a feeling that the market is overcrowded and lacking unique offerings.
With so many available, it's difficult to find something truly unique or special, as many scents are similar or simply re-hashes of existing popular 'notes'.

Perhaps the 'notes' that differentiate could be part of the new brand like:
  • Football players' colognes that have a whiff of jockstrap, armpit or general sweat
  • Donald Trump cologne (yes he marketed one recently) that smells of dirty adult diapers and shit
  • X-rated and adult film stars whose perfumes smell of sex
  • Rock and Pop stars fragrances that smell of marijuana and teens' panties
  • Actors whose deodorants smell of greasepaint and despair ...

... you can imagine the rest.

We've all seen many examples of this cashing in which is just ridiculous and I cannot work out why they continue. They are never successful in the long term but obviously make a bundle quickly in the short term duping naive followers to part with money they can ill afford to spend - which of course is why the orange idiot got involved with that, along with casinos, football teams, airlines, memorabilia, crypto-currency, bibles, sneakers, clothing, watches, jewellery etc.


What prompted this post was seeing advertisements for Jimmy Choo perfumes.

Jimmy Choo (contrived name no doubt) is a Malaysian fashion designer based in the United Kingdom. He co-founded Jimmy Choo Ltd, which became known for its handmade women's shoes and went on to market clothing, handbags and accessories. These, the shoes especially, incomprehensibly became 'must have' items for not only the rich-listers and well-heeled (excuse the pun) but for low income earners who can hardly afford rent, mortgages, public transport and food for their children but who just 'need' a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes! Go figure.

Well, now Jimmy Choo (the company that the namesake sold out to years ago) has released a perfume brand:

Admittedly the products are at the bargain end of the market - think The Warehouse, Farmers, Chemist Warehouse and K-Mart but .... even so, the asking prices are $50 to $200 plus for bottles of this generic shit.

I think the USP (unique selling point) should be the aroma of sweaty socks, bacteria, fungal infections, dirty feet and those other intriguing smells that are collectively known as 'locker room'. Ask Donald Trump. He knows all about that.








MELVILLE CRUMP'S DAY

 It's cold. I checked the temperature thermostat and it's 16 degrees in the house at present. Brrr🥶.


I just turned on the heat pump in the lounge. I'll run it for half an hour to take the chill off.

I should go for a walk but I've just had a large breakfast so might hold off for an hour or so. Today will probably be a 'chore day' with me doing dusting, vacuuming, bathroom cleaning etc. The Old Girl has left instructions for me to 'keep on top of things and to keep the house looking presentable'. OK, I'll do that.

Dinner this evening in case you are wondering will be meatloaf, roast potatoes, roast pumpkin and some green vegetables.

I guess that you've guessed that it's a bit of a slow day up north. Fair enough but I'm not alone. Down south Richard's lamenting the fact that schoolgirls will be hiding their legs, Robert is still ghosting him, video referees are ruining sport and that his atheism rules him out from going to mass and working in the church shop.

Sad.

Oh well, he might want to brush up on his bible skills if things get too slow down there.

Proverbs 31:27

She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

Saturday, 5 July 2025

BABYSITTING

I've got a visitor today - Lexy, my sister's golden retriever cross.

She's just a pup - a baby and Kathy asked me to babysit while they went to the rugby (Black Ferns vs Black Ferns IV and Maori All Blacks vs Scotland.








I didn't buy tickets for these matches as the weather forecast was for heavy rain so I bought a Sky Pass instead to watch these matches plus All Blacks vs France on TV today and this evening. As it turned out it's been a cracker day so the crowd (10,000 plus) will get their money-worth.

Lexy is a sweet natured little dog but, between naps is quite mischievous so I have to keep an eye on her. Lucky for me she seems to sleep a lot although Kathy said that she gets 'the zoomies' around 5PM. I'll take her for a walk before then, between the Black Ferns and the Maori All Black/Scotland game to tire her out I think.

How's your day going? I know that Richard is and will be watching the rugby but I guess that Robert sees it as idle-handed sinfulness. I imagine that he is especially incensed that women now play the game as well. They won't be going to his heaven.



WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN?



Donald Trump's initiated 'Big Beautiful Bill' (Democrats call it the 'Big Ugly Bill) narrowly passed in both the Senate and Congress yesterday underscoring how low USA has fallen in decency, empathy and commonsense.
The supporters of the bill and the republicans who voted for it will, in time regret their decision and no doubt many will pretend that they didn't vote for it nor agree with its content. Time will tell - especially next year in the mid-term voting.

Congressmen and Congresswomen who have nothing to fear are the 212 Democrats (all of them) and the two Republicans who voted against it. The warm glow they might receive from doing so though will be cooled by the likely disastrous fallout of the bill's provisions:
  • the US will lift its debt ceiling  by $5 trillion.
  • the country’s deficit will increase by $3.3 trillion 
  • tens of billions will be poured into immigration enforcement making effectively turning USA into a police state similar to Germany in the 1930s
  • massive tax cuts will be given to the rich and the super rich
  • the middle class and the poor will be stripped of social benefits like Medicaid, food stamps and school meals to cover the increased costs and tax breaks
  • 17 million people will lose health insurance cover
It is the greatest redistribution of wealth from the poor to the rich that the country has ever seen.



Countries have had governments overthrown for less.





 “What are the Republicans waiting for??? What are you trying to prove??? MAGA IS NOT HAPPY, AND IT’S COSTING YOU VOTES!!!”

        Donald Trump (Truth Social)

Those words, unintentionally with a double meaning, will bite him on his big orange bum soon.

Friday, 4 July 2025

IT'S UP TO ME THIS MORNING*

Tomorrow morning really but I know that readers are starved of good reading material.

So, Richard is off on a sleepover. He's probably gone back to Wessex**. Inconsiderate of him really because he normally writes in the bog in the morning. Yes, I know, we'd be better off without his 'Nui (Wainuiomata) attempts at humour. Chloe did it much better and with nicer footwear.

He's ased me to write his morning post for him so here goes.

First up is a video of a song about making people laugh by a 70s rock band.
.


Well, locally I am writing this blog to myself, now that Robert has disappeared again. Fortunately, I have many overseas readers.

.



Well, that should meet my obligations. I don't want to show him up too much, poor old 3G guy! Most of us are now using 4 and even 5G and leaving him back in the dust.
















** An in-joke there

Thursday, 3 July 2025

FROM THE BEGINNING

That rude old guy down (and out?) in Waiunuiomata is telling everyone to fuck off. 

He then realised that he'll be left on his own though and, in the longer term won't like it


He might find that Eve isn't quite as he remembered her from the beginning.









Wednesday, 2 July 2025

YELLING AT CLOUDS


Look, I'm an old man - I admit it. I can't deny it as I'm 72 years old but that doesn't mean that I can't think for myself and, as shown in my previous posts, think for others especially my many numerous pair of readers.

I've mentioned the excellent US news channel MSNBC before and one of their great presenters and essayists Lawrence O'Donnell and, hopefully, the more enlightened (and less Catholic) of you have read and listened to what he and the other intelligent essayists have said.

For years now I've been struggling with the questions why Donald Trump has such a great following and why US Republican senators, congressmen and people in power cow-tow to him and vote on bills according to what the orange idiot has requested. It just doesn't make sense.

Now, surprisingly as it may seen - given the massive popularity of this blog - my opinions have not resonated with nor impacted on American political thinking. Go figure! Fortunately (for you readers) the said Lawrence O'Donnell shares my views as you will know if you've followed the links I provided before.

Tonight O'Donnell presented a great essay titled 'The Banality of Cruelty' and it is really worth watching. See here: 



O'Donnel sums up with the statement:


"He's not there!"


And neither should he be. He's a cunt and, probably all his miserable life has made other people around him suffer. In his current 'not giving a fuck' position, exacerbated by his power, he is making uncountable people suffer who would not have suffered if he'd never been there.


Which leads me to this clip of the excellent Zombies song 'She's Not There':


OK, OK, it's a stretch but I love this song. Anyway, the lyrics do suggest some connection to the orange fool and his idiocy with only some minor tweaks:

Well, no one told me about her (HIM), the way she lied
Well, no one told me about her (HIM), how many people cried
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know, why should I care?
Please don't bother tryin' to find her (
HIM)
She's (
HE's) not there
Well, let me tell you 'bout the way she (
HE) looked
The way she'd (
HE'd) act and the colour of her (HIS) hair
Her (
HIS) voice was soft and cool
Her (
HIS)  eyes were clear and bright - (doubtful)
But she's (He's) not there
Well, no one told me about her (
HIM), what could I do?
Well, no one told me about her (
HIM), though they all knew
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know, why should I care?
Please don't bother tryin' to find her (
HIM)
She's (
HE's) not there
Well, let me tell you 'bout the way she (
HE) looked
The way she'd (
HE'd) act and the colour of her (HIS) hair
Her (
HIS) voice was soft and cool
Her (
HIS) eyes were clear and bright (doubtful)
But she's (HE's) not there
But it's too late to say you're sorry
How would I know, why should I care?
Please don't bother tryin' to find her (HIM)
She's (HE's) not there
Well, let me tell you 'bout the way she (HE) looked
The way she'd (HE'd) act and the colour of her (HIS) hair
Her (HIS) voice was soft and cool
Her (HIS) eyes were clear and bright (doubtful)
But she's (HE's) not there

I'M A BIT TIDIER NOW

 


My fashionista Riccardo Testacoli advised that I should ask for a discount when having a haircut.

I did have a haircut this morning but before I could ask the question the hairdresser said that she would reduce the fee from $30 to $20 as I was a good customer.

I'm not sure what makes being a good customer - certainly not frequency as I last went to her in January. Maybe it's because there's not a lot of hair to cut and sweep up. Anyway, I'm happy and The Old Girl should be as well as the cut isn't as severe as The January one was.




ACCORDING TO INTERNATIONAL STANDARD ISO 8601 TODAY IS THE THIRD DAY OF THE WEEK

First of all I want to acknowledge that Richard wrote a new post this morning.



OK, now that we've got that out of the way let's move on to more serious issues.

Milk.

I went to have my usual breakfast this morning - Weetbix with my All Bran/apple sauce/prune juice mixture and fresh milk. Imagine my consternation when I noticed that the best-before date on the milk is 2 July. That's today! While The Old Girl is not averse to using rotten old milk I don't like it. I'll have to go to the shops this morning for fresh supplies.

Robert's blog

It comes and goes like the tide or, to use a more accurate metaphor, the scum, flotsam, jetsam and other detritus that floats in with the tide. Fortunately all that disappears quickly. What's that about? Why bother?

Primitivo

I ordered a case (6-pack) of wine for the old girl yesterday (Masso Antico Primitivo 2023) because she likes primitivo and zinfandel only to be informed by her that she had ordered a six-pack of American zinfandel to be delivered! We will be awash in Italian and Italianesque wines for a while.

Haircut

Richard, in a blog comment, rather rudely suggested that I need a haircut so I'll get that done this morning on my 'milk run' :


Overweight

With The Old Girl being away and me being unsupervised I've been sneaking things into the supermarket trolley like potato chips, chocolate and cheesecake-type desserts. As a result I've gained a bit of weight. I've now started to use the stepping machine to see if I can cut this back before she gets back here. I normally use the rowing machine and the exercycle (because they are easier) and have left the stepping machine alone (because it's harder) but a couple of days ago I got into it. 10 minutes at the moment (before rowing) which I hope to build up to 15 or 20 minutes a day should do the trick.

Note to self

Get rid of the potato chips, chocolate, desserts and any other 'forbidden' things in the freezer before she gets home.

Weather

After a cracker day yesterday, today is a bit grey and dreary. After the 'milk run' I think I'll stay indoors, lounge about and try to avoid that junk food.











Tuesday, 1 July 2025

"OUT" ... OF THEIR MINDS

The old codgers were at it again at the tennis club this morning.

Half of them just can't see the bloody lines and invariable called "out" for serves that were clearly in.

Maybe it's just because I've recently had my eyes refurbished and now have clear vision. After remonstrating with a couple of old dames, I very clearly watched each serve in a game and 4 times out of 6 one of them called "fault" or "out" to balls that were either on the line or just in at the corners. Sheesh!


I think that I'll propose that we have a chalk box like weightlifters use at the server end so that the server can cover the ball with chalk before serving.



What could possibly go wrong?





Monday, 30 June 2025

UNMENTIONABLE

 Regular readers - well, regular reader now that Robert's blog has gone again - will have noticed that over the years comments on blog posts have become bizarre and othen disconnected from the topic of the post.

I won't get into cognitive decline here as that will be the topic of a future post. What I'll do is select one comment and try to find out what the hell it meant.

On the comment section of Richard's most recent post he wrote this:


IT HAS NO CONNECTION TO THE BLOG POST THEME OR TITLE WHICH IS THIS:

It's a while since my last gig

It had no connection to the comments thread either which followed the usual pattern of abuse, slander and insult.

What does it mean? Are my underpants broken? Do I need to get something to fix them?


I have a good selection of quality underpants in different colours (all tartan pattern) see:   A BRIEF POST 

... and, at last count have about 16 pairs - more than enough for daily changing and they are all in good condition which is a far cry from the state of a pair of my favourite skants from years gone by:


If it was these he's referring to then yes, some repairs would be necessary but The Old Girl tossed them into the rubbish bin a long time ago.


I'm confused. What's the old codger on about?



Sunday, 29 June 2025

ACCOLADES

 


It's time to update the accolades in the 'ACCOLADES' section in the right hand column of the blog.
Thanks to the supporters who provided the current ones that have been there for some time now. Have a look at the blog home page or, for your reading pleasure I've copied and pasted them for you here:

***********************************
ACCOLADES

"Alert, conversant, speaking full sentences"

- From hospital doctor's report.


This just to hand - an accolade from one of this blog's followers:

"Reading The Curmudgeon's blog has opened my eyes and mind to the silliness of religion and the stupidity of catholicism in particular. I now see myself as a modernist even if I don't really understand what the term means. Well done that man for giving us the low down.
That's why most readers reference Curmudgeon first."

- Robert the apoplectic sinner

And another one:

"What I like about The Curmudgeon is that he's fair. When he posts comments on my blog they are positive and always contain a hint as to how I could improve my own blog. As an older person I find this to be helpful."

Richard (of Richard's Bass Bag).

An updated accolade from Richard:

Hello all. I really like this blog. The quality, humour and professionalism gives me something to strive for in my own blog. Recently I've run out of ideas and have reverted to writing long and boring posts on violin playing. I wish that I could create blog posts as fresh and interesting as The Curmudgeon's.

- Richard of Richard's Bass Bag

"This is the first tantalizing (sic) surprise of many as The Curmudgeon introduces us to ...."
- an excerpt from devoted follower Richard of Richards Bass Bag.

****************************************

These glowing acknowledgements are as fresh today as when they were first written and published but I'm sure that there are many more to be added.

Please feel free to add some in your comments readers if you want to see your names 'up in lights'.


Here's an example:



No need to thank me.

CHACUN À SON GOÛT

We all have our own particular tastes and, while we share a lot of things with friends, family members and partners we don't agree all the time.

The Old Girl uses the TV in the other lounge when she wants to watch 'her' programmes. These are different to the TV series and films I prefer, hers being romantic comedies, Formula One type documentaries and dramas, Marvel-type superhero films- you know - crap.


When we had just one television and one lounge set up for watching I used to watch her 'crap' under duress (with the odd huffing and sighing). She would do the same for my 'good stuff'. The current situation works well and she combines her evening TV-watching with working out on the rowing machine, exercycle and stepper. I use the exercise machines in the mid to late afternoon while watching game shows like The Chase and Tipping Point. In the evening I have the TV in the main lounge to watch the films and series I like. It works out well.

On a related topic I hate it when people lend or foist a book on to you to read because "it's a great book - you'll love it". I prefer to make my own reading selections and recently prefer to read a book on my iPad rather than a regular book. It's a habit I've gotten into.

Friend Rod foisted a book on me at tennis on Thursday. It's 'Hunting the Nazi Bomb' by Damien Lewis. "You'll like this" he said "It's topical given the Iranian nuclear situation".


I didn't really want to read this but he was insistent. I know that he will pester me each time I see him now to check that I've read it and what my thoughts on it are. Really! It's like me pestering asking Robert what his opinion is of posts I've written. Sheesh!

I'll have to read the damned thing.


Saturday, 28 June 2025

SATURDAY AFTERNOON

Saturday night is coming up. 

I don't think I'll be fighting no matter what Elton John suggested.

I think that I'll be following Sam Cooke's advice and staying in for a quiet night.

Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody
I've got some money cause I just got paid
Now how I wish I had someone to talk to
I'm in an awful way ...

... sounds a lot more believable than:

Don't give us none of your aggravation
We had it with your discipline
Saturday night's alright for fighting
Get a little action in ...

... sung by this guy:

"You lookin' at me?"


Perhaps, for the casual visitor to this blog I should explain that:
  • While I am on my own this evening I do actually have somebody (The Old Girl) who is in Christchurch at present.
  • I didn't just get paid because I don't work but The Old Girl told me today that she'd just had a pay rise.
  • While I can't talk to her face to face at the moment we do converse daily via FaceTime and we've communicated twice today.
  • I'm not in an awful way... yet. I'm preparing a nice dinner for myself - meatloaf, roasted potatoes, pumpkin and kumara with a vegetable bake accompanied by a couple of glasses of Central Otago pinot noir. If I have more than two glasses of the red wine I might be "in an awful way" tomorrow morning.



Elton: "What do you think of it so far Sam?"

Sam: " Ruggish (don't hit me big man)."