STAND UP FOR THE GOD SAVE THE QUEEN ANTHEM

A grumpy old joker from Waitheheckdoesitmatter commented on my previous post about sandwich bars.

He rather tersely 'reminded' me that there is a good bakery where The Plaza cinema (he meant picture theatre) used to be.

I remember a lot of Wellington picture theatres but couldn't remember The Plaza until I Googled it and was told that it used to be on Manners Street. Now I remember.

In my school days I used to go to a lot of these, particularly in the winter months to see Saturday afternoon features - usually the 2 o'clock ones. This was back in the day when shop opening and closing hours and picture theatre viewing hours were easy to remember: 11o'clock in the morning; 2 o'clock in the afternoon; 5 o'clock in the early evening and 8 o'clock in the evening. It wasn't until the 70s that 'late features' at 11 o'clock emerged. This was when 'am' and 'pm' was introduced as well and later the word 'cinema' to replace 'picture theatre'.

The inner city picture theatres I went to were - the aforementioned The Plaza plus Kings, The Majestic, Embassy, Lido, Roxy, Tudor, Paramount, The Regent and The State (later renamed and remodelled as Cinerama). Richard will no doubt remember more.

Almost every Wellington suburb had one or two picture theatres as well but the only ones I went to were The Ascot and Rivoli in Newtown and The Vogue in Brooklyn.

When I was at university I used to frequent the Victoria University 'cinema' named The Memorial Theatre and was a member of the Wellington Film Society which had a screening room beneath the old Wellington Museum.

I've mentioned Wellington's old picture theatres before so, for that grumpy old joker here's a link to one of them:

SATURDAY AFTERNOONS

Tuti frutti.

 

 

C.O.M. COMME CA

No doubt Richard, channelling his mother, would call me a sandwich bar crank or an old moaner for what I'm going to post here.

I know, I know, I've complained about this before - twice - when writing about walking about Christchurch and Whangarei but ... here I go again.

Wellington city is great. It's far superior to any of our other cities and beats most overseas cities I've visited. What makes it great, for me, is that the city is contained. The suburbs radiate out into the surrounding hills and don't just seem to go on endlessly like in Auckland and Christchurch. The central city area is flat and so walking is easy and enjoyable. The harbour is a magnificent feature and the public transport system world class.

I'm spoiled for choice here with cafes, wine bars and restaurants amongst the interesting and often quirky shops. This is all fine but when, walking about at lunchtime and I want a simple ham and tomato or an egg sandwich even being prepared to accept a fancy club sandwich, almost all the offerings are overpriced and tarted up nonsense like ' pork and cranberry sausage roll' for more than $20 or a giant open sandwich made of fruits, meats and vegetables for $25. I found a place named 'The Pie & Pickle' but the cheapest pie was $26 and came with mashed potato and salad. Sheesh!

The Dixon Street deli has disappeared as have a few of my other favourites including Sir Breadwins in Lambton Quay and the cafe that used to be opposite the old town hall. Admittedly the last time I'd visited either was in the mid 1980s but ...

I did find, in Ghuznee Street a fancy bakery place that had some interesting but large and expensive fare. I bought a Chipotle chicken pie ($12) and a vegetable and feta pie ($10) to take away (unheated) for my and The Old Girl's dinner tonight. I'll make some mashed potatoes and steamed broccoli and zucchini to go with them. I've come home and had a boiled egg on toast for lunch.

Now don't get me started on the dawdlers who walk so slow along the footpaths that they might as well be standing still and the millions of idiots waking along texting or watching videos on their phones and not looking where they're going. Shee ... but that can be the subject of another post.

HE DOESN'T BELIEVE IT

 Richard was surprised that I wrote a post today:

It reminded me of Victor Meldrew - my inspiration as a curmudgeon:

A ROOM WITH A VIEW

 Well I'm in Wellington* at the moment and experiencing what Wellington has to offer by way of weather.

It's raining and it's cold so I probably won't do much exploring today.

To be fair though, the last few days have been very nice - sunny and warm.

Northland, as well, is experiencing bad weather - rain and high winds. I heard on the news that there have been floods, slips and power outages in Whangarei. I checked our house on-line using the security camera app and yes, it looks a bit wild.

We have three cameras fitted - one at the front of the house, one at the back and one inside in the hallway. They work well and it's handy to be able to check on-line what's happening live and to review any video captures of movement around the house - usually the neighbours cat snooping around.

I've set up my laptop at the dining table here and, unless The Old Girl 'moves me on' will be able to do some blogging.

I might get relegated to a position in a cupboard if I don't keep the workspace tidy but, at least for today I'll be at the table. Who knows? I might write a couple more posts (and not filler ones).

* What passes for a pun in Wainuiomata

LOOK OUT FOR JOHN KEY

A kiwi-born (Wellington) dancer who lives in Australia, after nailing a spot in the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading team has been criticised for having her hair in a ponytail.

Faith Ward is the first Kiwi (and the third Aussie) to be involved with the Texan-based cheerleading squad.

See the story here: KIWI WITH PONY TAIL IN DALLAS COWBOYS

No doubt ex prime minister John Key will have noticed this bit of news. Remember him and his liking for ponytails?

No? Well here are some reminders:

HERE

HERE

and 

HERE

Faith Ward: "Do you like it John?"

OK, OK - HERE'S ONE

Richard must be under the weather today as he's been nagging for a new post from me.

"Sorry Richard but I've been under the weather myself today"

It's been a stunningly beautiful day today but I've been inside sorting out all the things that The Old Girl wants me to take down to Wellington in the car.

I had originally planned to drive down on Friday, staying the night in Taupo and arriving Saturday.

Giving some thought to how women's brains work I decided to delay my trip and leave on Saturday instead and arrive on Sunday. This is because she takes possession of the apartment on Friday. I imagined that, once she's in it she will decide, after a good look around, that there are a whole lot of other things she needs. It's always best to be prepared - "Hope for the best but plan for the worst".

I'll pack the car up on Friday afternoon, hopefully leaving a bit of space for the inevitable extras. I just hope that these won't be heavy items. I'll already have the rather heavy memory foam mattress overlay, a solid wood wine-rack, wine, suitcases of clothing and bed sheets, duvets and towels. I really hope that two trips won't be necessary like the last time in 2020 when she rented a 'furnished' apartment.

TUESDAY - NOT HERE TO STAY

Only a strange little post from Robert today.

He was claiming to have some important news but, going by the photograph the news seemed to be about one of his workmates eating peanut butter brownies.

He did add another of his AI generated 'slop' images. I think it's about time that he gave this up and stole borrowed used cartoons made by real artists from the internet like normal bloggers do.

Ricard hasn't posted yet and it'll be his bedtime soon so I won't hold my breath.

He did leave a comment on an earlier post :

Whatever that means.

Maybe it has something to do with not giving himself 'the cuts' like Robert's Christian flaggelationists do.

Then again, if half measures are his thing then he's referring to being 'half-cut'.

Who knows? Tomorrow is another day.

 

OVERDOING THINGS

Look, let's face it - some people are compulsive, just read any of Richard's posts on his Bass Blag where he bangs on about endlessly changing violin strings, practising on his double basses and going to the toilet.

Sometimes though, obsession and overindulgence can be harmful. Look away now if you are of a sensitive disposition ...

... Robert's 'Mass-groupie' hobby seems to have bitten him on the bum (I hope it didn't draw excessive amounts of blood) as he recounts in his latest and non-telegrammic post:

"We had a nice time. I went to Mass in the Palmerston North Holy Spirit Cathedral at 7.30 then picked up L and went to Mass again at 10.30 in her Church. I had just taken the Blessed Eucharist and His Blood when sitting down my nose started to bleed. I had to leave and go to the bathroom because it took ages to stop."

Robert of  Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish

I hope that overeating the body of Christ doesn't cause similar (and more southerly) expulsions.

I blame Jesus and his enablers like John.

John 6:52-59


52 Then the Jews began to argue sharply among themselves, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?”

53 Jesus said to them, “Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day. 55 For my flesh is real food and my blood is real drink. 56 Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood remains in me, and I in them. 57 Just as the living Father sent me and I live because of the Father, so the one who feeds on me will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven. Your ancestors ate manna and died, but whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” 59 He said this while teaching in the synagogue in Capernaum.

IS IT SERIOUS?

Things are not exactly riveting on the blogs this morning.

OK, OK, yes, I  slept in and have only just 'fired up' the computer but really .... you should see what those other jokers are doing.

"I had a late night, and I have some jobs to do this morning."

Said Richard in his post this morning.

No detail, no images except for some old vanity shot of him playing a ukulele or a banjo or something. It's a bit of a disappointment.

Mind you at least he hasn't been lurking around our rental apartment in Cuba Street.

There's certainly nothing riveting over at Robert's blog. He hasn't posted for a couple of days and when he did it was in the form of a telegram. He wrote:

 

"Plan to go up to Feilding Sunday. It's nice going to Mass with my darling; probably get lunch somewhere after"

He's becoming something of a Mass groupie. It reminded me of this segment from Father Ted: 

And this:

It's a nice sunny day here so I think I'll head out for a walk. I'll be back later.

IRISH STEW

 **BREAKING NEWS**

Just to hand is a leaked police report that I think readers should be made aware of.

WELLINGTON CENTRAL POLICE

SATURDAY 19 JULY 2025

Verbal Report transcript from Sergeant Paulus Constable and PC Ima Sergeant after apprehending a suspect behaving suspiciously in the Tea Aro area.

Sergeant Constable: At about 10am PC Sergeant and I noticed the accused, a Mr Prowse behaving suspiciously in the Te Aro area, specifically in Vivian Street, Cuba Street, Abel smith Street and Wigan Street. PC Sergeant, what did you notice?

PC Sergeant:  I at first noticed the suspect limping from ...

Sergeant Constable: Limping?

PC Sergeant: Yes, he was limping ... er, I don't wish to imply that he was a Chinese man .. if anything he looked German and ...

Sergeant Constable: Get on with it police constable.

PC Sergeant: Oh, yes, OK, I noticed the suspect limping along Wigan Street. He kept stopping to peer inside a parking garage before looking up to the 8th floor of an apartment building. I surmised that he was trying to peer through the windows ..

Sergeant Constable: Peer through the 8th floor windows from ground level police constable? That seems ...

PC Sergeant: I've checked his record sergeant and he was once apprehended, by a big girl, for looking up schoolgirls' dresses while lurking below the school stairs.

Sergeant Constable: The dirty bastard. I've got a good mind to ...

PC Sergeant: Also, sergeant, our records show that he has a younger brother who used to lurk in bushes in Garden Road and look through the windows of a neighbour's house.

Sergeant Constable: What! That's no laughing matter police constable.

PC Sergeant: I'm reliably informed sergeant that this younger brother chuckles a lot.

Sergeant Constable: Oh ho. Does he now? Well he'll be chuckling out of the other side of his mouth when we catch him. We'll ...

PC Sergeant: Um, sergeant, our main focus is this mister Prowse. Mister Richard Stephen Prowse D.O.B. (redacted so as not to shock anyone).

Sergeant Constable: OK police constable. Carry on.

PC Sergeant: I also noticed that the suspect was covered in blood - on his trousers (right leg) and on his hand (right hand). When asked about this he babbled some story about tripping over some rubbish bins at the rear of an old lady's house. I can only surmise that he was lurking and peering with nefarious intent sergeant.

Sergeant Constable: Thank you police constable. Surmise away.

PC Sergeant: Thank you sergeant. I then questioned the suspect as to what he'd been doing in Vivian Street before he lurked along Wigan Street. His response was rather confused which was strange as I'd only given him a few light taps on the head with my truncheon sergeant.

Sergeant Constable: As you should have done police constable. As you should have done. Carry on.

PC Sergeant: The suspect said that he'd been looking for a purple onion. I don't know what that meant sergeant and perhaps is some sort of code that perverts use.

Sergeant Constable: (Ahem) ... er, you are too young (and attractive) Ima to know about The Purple Onion which was a late night strip joint owned by Carmen who also owned Carmen's Coffee Lounge in Vivian Street 'back in the day'. The suspect might simply have been regressing.

PC Sergeant: That makes sense sergeant - more than the suspect did anyway who tried to 'regress' all over my shoes. I'm adding that to his list of charges.

Sergeant Constable: I think we've caught a dirty one here PC 31.

PC Sergeant: My police number isn't 31 sergeant, it's ...

Sergeant Constable: ... just a music joke Ima, just a joke.

PC Sergeant: Oh yes, I forgot sergeant. You come from the 'Nui'.

PARADISE LOST

“A mind not to be changed by place or time. Can make a heav'n of hell, a hell of heav'n.”

        Paradise Lost - John Milton

 I woke to a beautiful morning which is so much better than the weather we've had for weeks now.

The outlook made me think of Atata Island in Tonga for some reason and I recalled my lovely experience there ... but also the devastation of 2022. See: HERE

The beautiful island, among others was totally munted by the tsunami that followed the volcanic eruption and the people (population 106) were evacuated to one of the main islands.

I searched the internet to get an update of the fate of Atata and found this sad little videoblog of one of the survivors. This is worth a look. 

ATATA SURVIVORS

Remarkably, the people of Atata, even though there was a tourist resort at one end of their small island (Royal Tongan Sunset Lodge where I stayed in 1995) managed to maintain their community and garden-of-eden lifestyle right up to 2022 and the tsunami. The simple and in many ways idyllic existence has been replaced by a jarring movement to the 21st century - even though that is just a few kilometers from where they were - which has brought drug issues, monetary problems and social dysfunction.

Let's hope that they can make a slice of heaven from their current situation.*

"A Paradise within thee, happier far."

          Paradise Regained - John Milton

 

* No, I haven't downloaded Dave Dobbyn's 'Slice of Heaven'. You can imagine that song in your own heads.

PRIVATISE

No doubt you readers are aware that Richard's Bass Bag Toursⓒ is defunct having not recovered from its disastrous showings most recently in 2024.

Your investigative reporter The Curmudgeon, in January of 2025 raised the issue and suggested that the business might be folding. See: WHATEVER HAPPENED TO RICHARD'S BASS BAG TOURS? 

It turns out that The Curmudgeon might have been right as there has been no reported activity of this business even though a major potential customer Robert of Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish (don't ask) has been FREQUENTLY travelling to Feilding and even further afield. He could have availed himself of the 'Tours' services (if he had plenty of time to spare as Richard drives at a maximum of 50kph on motorways) but seems to have preferred to 'go his own way'.

I guess that this was the final blow to the Richard's Bass Bag Tours enterprise but there might be some light on the horizon if Richard is prepared to diversify. Today a thought came to me as to how 'The Tours' could morph into a more viable business - snooping.

Yesterday Richard telephoned me to say that he and Shelley were staking out the apartment building/hotel where we signed up a lease.

I thought this odd at first but then realised that a Richard's Bass Bag Detective Agency could be the way to go. I mean, it couldn't be worse than the Richard's Bass Bag Toursⓒ fiasco could it? Even Donald Trump with all his failed businesses must have had a winner somewhere*.

Mind you, with his current selection of motor vehicle he'd probably look more like this:

In the middle of the night** last night budding Detective Richard telephoned me with an update on the parking situation at the new lease we've taken. Had he been staking out the apartment building all night? Was Shelley with him? Whatever happened to Amelia Earhart? There are so many unanswered questions ...

... so many in fact that This detective or private eye business could be very successful and require an assistant. I've got a fair idea that Bob's discombobulate Bobadilish won't be a long-term runner so maybe Robert could join forces with Richard in the snooping business and combine it with his cleaning operation..

Just a thought (it's a slow day up north).

* Nope.

** It was actually 7.55AM

RIP Chris Faiumu (Fat Freddy's Drop).

BIG FIGHT AT TENNIS THIS MORNING

Old ex school teachers might jump to conclusions and assume that I was fighting with Mike but the fight was between a Kārearea (New Zealand falcon) or it might have been a Swamp Harrier and some White Fronted Tern or Black Billed Gulls.

New Zealand falcon

Swamp Harrier

White Fronted Tern

Against the backdrop of Mount Manaia these birds had an aerial battle going on for well over 5 minutes before the Harrier was chased off.

Mount Manaia as seen from the tennis courts

The terns flew in flights of 4 or 5 and, wheeling, turning, climbing and diving they attacked the harrier. I saw mid-air collisions and the harrier climbing even higher to, in turn, attack the terns. This was pretty dramatic stuff, things I'd never seen before and it made me think of the Battle of Britain and WW2 dogfights.

I don't know if any of the terns were killed or injured but it is likely. They, in numbers though sent the bird of prey packing.

Exciting stuff this.

**************************

Update

"In New Zealand, White-fronted Terns will sometimes harass or mob Australasian Harriers (also known as Swamp Harriers or Kāhu). This behavior is a form of defense, where the terns attempt to drive the harrier away from their nesting or feeding areas. The terns, being smaller and more agile, will dive bomb and call loudly at the larger harrier, hoping to deter it."

        Google search 

FORSEEN CONSEQUENCES

Anyone with half a brain would have known that AI would pollute the internet with both useless and dangerous images, videos and information but I'm sure none of us realised how fast this would happen and to what degree.

This John Oliver programme is well worth watching: 

It really is getting to the point where nothing can be trusted and that original creativity is becoming a thing of the past.

This would be bad enough if it was just a dumbing down of creativity, excellence and effort but unfortunately, where the internet and mass media is concerned the scammers, liars, criminals, cheats, pornographers and politicians are having a field day and the general populace, already duped by politicians, mass media and religions will be fucked over even more ruthlessly.

Already Robert's blog pictures are mostly AI generated slop and soon, I guess he will be using AI generated videos. His church will soon be using AI generated imagery and videos at Mass if they haven't already.

I admit that I dabbled a bit with Chat GPT and Meta AI to see what it was about and created a couple of silly images but that stops now. I refuse to be a part of this. I know, I know, I am a bit of a Luddite anyway and deliberately avoid new technology until it becomes impossible to get by without it but I'll hold out for a while. I bought a new phone recently an Apple 16 series that has an option for using Apple Intelligence for writing and designing images and videos. Bah Humbug!

Hopefully this image was actually drawn by a human and isn't AI generated

I think I'm fighting a losing battle though.

Watch the John Oliver clip and, if and when YouTube/Google disappear it from this post search to for it on the internet.

WELLINGTON PART ONE

We haven't sold the house yet and, with winter well and truly here it's unlikely that there will be any interest until spring or even summer.

The plan was to, once we sold, rent a place in Wellington for a while to give us time to properly check out the market and find what we want within our budget. I had planned that the place (a townhouse ideally) we rent would have an attached large or double garage so that we could store all of our extra furnishings and goods until we bought an apartment or a townhouse. That was the plan ...

... and of course, things change. The Old Girl, after her couple of months stay in Christchurch, went to Wellington last week to stay with her cousin in Wakefield Street until August when she and the cousin are taking a trip to Melbourne. While in Wellington she was to check out likely locations for us to look to buy. I said that if she wanted to work out of the Wellington office for a while, she should rent an apartment in the interim. This she has done and we take possession of a Cuba Street apartment next weekend!

It's a great apartment - spacious 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom across 2 levels in an apartment building that is partly hotel accommodation at 233 Cuba Street. I think that's between Vivian and Abel Smith Streets and close to Lighthouse Cinema. It's a good location, handy to shops, restaurants, cafes, foodstores and entertainment.

The apartment is fully furnished which means we won't have to buy or rent furniture in the short term but means that when we sell our house all of our furniture will have to go into storage. The rental comes with a secure covered car park in the building but not a garage suitable for storage. When we finally sell I'll have to rent a storage unit somewhere in Wellington - the closest are in Newtown or Thorndon.

Anyway, she takes possession on Friday 25th July. I'll drive down that day with a car load of bedding, extra kitchen ware (the kitchen is currently stocked with plates, pots and cutlery), her computer gear, some of her clothing and, no doubt other things that she 'needs' like artwork, wine and stuff. No doubt I'll have a very full carload. I'll stop at Taupo for Friday night and plan to arrive in Wellington on Saturday 26th. I'll stay a couple of weeks to when she goes to Melbourne and when I have to be back home for Jury duty on 11th August. Busy, busy, busy, but, I'm used to it. We've done  a fair bit of shifting in our time. After that I'll pre-purchase Air NZ 'grab a seat' deals for September through December and try and spend two weeks each month in Wellington.

In Wellington I'll have the opportunity to catch up with Richard, Shelley and Robert, The Old Girl's cousin and her husband, my sister in Waikanae and other friends and family. I'll also be able to check out likely long-term living locations, storage availability plus things like a golf club and a tennis club to join.

USEFUL ADVICE *

* Never miss an opportunity to take a piss.

The other bloggers have been going off at tangents in their recent posts with Robert in his blog - now known as 

- continuing to regurgitate the contents of his sunday sermons which are invariably silly Bible stories - parables - that are supposed to have meaning for the great unwashed or, in the case of baptised Christians - the recently washed. These are generally stolen from ancient lore as most of Christianity's tenets are and often are obtuse maybe having something to do with poor translations or having been passed through too many hands like Chinese whispers. I prefer nursery rhymes, Grimm brothers fairy tales or Aesop's fables myself.

Robert's parables have set off his grim brother Richard to write his own fables, one being something about rotten fish and bass bags. Really, it made as much sense as Robert's 'bobadilish'. Here's an example from his post:

"Jesus stopped and asked one of the fishmongers what he was writing. The man replied, "Well mate, I have a pair of balls so I call my little stories 'pair of balls'. I suspect that, as history has its effect and languages change, the spelling of my little writing miracles might change too.""

        - Richard of Richard's Bass Bag (not to be confused with the superior Rich of Basschat - see: https://www.basschat.co.uk)

I think that these guys should take more care in their writing as readers will be confused and get the wrong idea.

Sometimes you have to be hard to be kind so, in the interests of tough love I should step in and critique what they write and offer some helpful advice.

FEELING GOOD

 

After many days of stormy weather that's kept me indoors, today I woke to blue sky, sunshine and a day with no wind and no rain. I'm feeling good.

I've done two loads of washing and put it on the line and now I'm off to play some golf.

*****************

I checked the other guys' blogs but won't let that ruin my good mood.

Robert banged on about buckets using some rather dodgy historical sources to identify their origin (along with the obligatory spelling errors). I'm just surprised that he didn't manage to get Jesus, Mary and the Holy Trinity in there. Never mind, I've done it for him:

Over at Richard's blog that leaky bucket would have been apt but he's still sulking because no-one commented on his post yesterday. See:

What a prima donna.

Anyway, I don't care - I'm off to have fun in the sun.

INTERVIEW # 35

Yes, you read it right - 'INTERVIEW # 35', who would have thought? 

Well, me really as the interviews are from my imaginings but, as you readers* know, I would never continue with a post series unless at least 50% of readers* endorse them by the comments that you leave.

Our last interview, INTERVIEW # 34 back in April was with Lazarus and elicited 8 comments - many times the readership. Here are a couple of them:

Thanks readers.

Inspired by this, and the acceptance of the earlier interviews (that can be accessed via the clever search engine on Google blogger that is at the right hand side of the Home Page titled 'Search this blog' 'INTERVIEW # 35' is here for your reading pleasure. No need to thank me.

INTERVIEW # 35

We've all noticed (how the hell could you not) Donald Trump's seizure of the USA's presidency like a bird killer ...

... and the way that he has surrounded himself by idiots (so as to try to be the smartest person in the room) and to select the most unqualified, but sycophantic people to head up major cabinet posts and positions of power and influence. Some examples are:

Vice President JD Vance 

Secretary of State Marco Rubio 

Secretary of Treasury Scott Bessent 

Secretary of Defence Peter Hegseth 

Attorney General Pam Bondi - 
Secretary of the Interior Doug Burgum
Secretary of Agriculture Brooke Rollins
Secretary of Commerce Howard Lutnick
Secretary of Labour Lori Chavez-DeRemer
Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr
Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Scott Turner
Secretary of Transportation Sean Duffy
Secretary of Energy Chris Wright
Secretary of Education Linda McMahon
Secretary of Veterans Affairs Doug Collins
Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem
Administrator of the Environment Protection Agency Lee Zeldin
Director of the Office of Management and Budget Russell Vought
Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard
Director of the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) John Ratcliffe
United States Trade Representative Jamieson Greer
Administrator of the Small Business Administration Kelly Loeffler
Chief of Staff Susie Wiles

Director of Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Kash Patel

Almost all of these lack political experience but have served Trump's purposes over the last 9 years by endorsing his policies and supporting his actions no matter how insane or dangerous they might have been.

These people are always in the news - some because of their incredible stupidity and incompetence so I will not be giving them any more free 'press time'. Today, instead we will interview a lesser-known, well, unknown Trump appointee to the newly created position of Secretary of National Parks and Treasures, Butch Erthem. This new department will work closely with the Environment Protection Agency and the Department of Homeland Security.

Butch Erthem

The Curmudgeon: Hello Mr Erthem and welcome to The Curmudgeon's Interview series. This is interview #35

Butch Erthem: Thanks The Curmudgeon. Can I call you TC? You can call me Butch.

The Curmudgeon: OK Butch - good to hear ...

Butch Erthem: No problems ...

The Curmudgeon: ... I mean, it's good to hear again. The Old Girl's

been at me to use my hearing aids and so I charged them up. The deciding factor I admit was when Richard of Richard's Bass bag said something about God preferring ice hockey and I thought he said that God prefers Wysocki - Father Wysocki. Ha hah ha you had to ...

Butch Erthem:... yeah whatever TC. Hey! Does this Richard guy have some sort of fish'n and shoot'n blog going?

The Curmudgeon: What? No - ha writes some sort of music blog it's ...

Butch Erthem: ... never mind. I've got no time for most of those music guys unless they play a banjo. Have you heard 'duelling banjos'? Now there was a tune and a darned good movie as well. Pity that those good 'ol boys got shafted though ..

The Curmudgeon: ...um, Butch. Can we get to the interview. Forget about Richard for a moment. He's probably forgotten about himself anyway. He's a bit old ha ha.

Butch Erthem: Sure. Shoot!

The Curmudgeon: Shoot?

Butch Erthem: Yeah, shoot! Ask your questions buddy.

The Curmudgeon: Oh, OK, I see what you mean. Look Butch, how did you get the position of Secretary of National Parks and Treasures?

Butch Erthem: I like to shoot things.

The Curmudgeon: You mean ask questions?

Butch Erthem: What? Have you been drinking? I said I like to shoot things. Bang bang - like that unless I use a crossbow.

The Curmudgeon: Oh, I see. But I thought that the Department of National Parks and Treasures would be about conservation and protection. I thought ...

Butch Erthem: ... get off the grass TC.

The Curmudgeon: Huh? I'm not sure ...

Butch Erthem: I said get off the grass unless you step on that big pile of whatist that my dog just did behind you.

The Curmudgeon: So that's what the smell was. I just thought it was another of those odours coming off that hunting jacket you're wearing. My but there are some interesting colours on it. Is it camouflage?

Butch Erthem: Camouflage? No , just blood and shit and stuff. It's my work jacket. (pointing) This stain here is a Bald Eagle. That one is a California Condor. Here's a Red Wolf. That one's a Florida Panther. Over here's ...

The Curmudgeon: ... but but but ... aren't they all protected species. I thought...

Butch Erthem: You know what thinking does TC ?

The Curmudgeon: No, what?

Butch Erthem: I don't know that's why I was asking you. Look, the boss told me to get rid of these annoying critters that ...

The Curmudgeon: ... the boss?

Butch Erthem: Yes, the boss. Mr Trump to you. He said that all this beautiful land and real estate that's hiding trillions of dollars worth of minerals, rare earth, oil deposits and coal, is being used up by Bambi and its pals all supported by the woke environmentalists. The Boss said that if there were no bambis then the wokes would have nothing to bitch and moan about so he's given me Carte Blanche to go about it.

The Curmudgeon: Carte blanche - you mean the green light to ...

Butch Erthem: Green light? What the hell are you on man? Carte Blanche is my assistant provided via the Boss to me from the Department of Homeland Security. She's a mean sonofabitch - used to work for Kristi Noem.

The Curmudgeon: Kristi Noem? She's the one who shot her dog isn't she?

Butch Erthem: Yeah, good ol' Kristi. It was only a little dog mind but she did also shoot her pet goats that were bigger. She's got balls that one which is why you don't see her wearing tight trousers in all of those cosplay costumes she wears. I've been training her in the use of the M24 sniper rifle to control those pesky Mexicans at the border. The .338 Lapua Magnum bullet can take a head clean off.

The Curmudgeon: Oh!

Butch Erthem: TC?

The Curmudgeon: Yes Butch?

Butch Erthem: Look, as riveting as this interview is, I've gotta go.

The Curmudgeon: Oh, it's just down the corridor to the left ...

Butch Erthem: ... I mean I'm heading off. I've got a full workload. I have to dynamite some glaciers and then scrape off Abe Lincoln from Mount Rushmore. The Boss has gone off him - too liberal - and wants his own mug up there. Gotta go ...

The Curmudgeon: Righty. Keep up the er... have a good day Butch.

The presidents: "Oh no!"

* Readership well into single figures now.

BUK - BUK - BUK

 I was a bit confused at a comment and image Richard posted on his blog this morning:

I checked the internet for 'dried and dressed' and found this image:

Yes, I can see the similarity.

BAD HABITS

Richard's been practising a lot on his instruments recently and doing 'the Atomic Habits' whatever that is.

I practised my instruments for two hours yesterday - one hour each. I'm still doing the Atomic Habits. Within those habits I include work on four solo pieces on each instrument.

I initially thought that Atomic Habits was the name of a 60s psychedelic band like Toby Twirl which sounded like something he would have been involved in. I couldn't find an Atomic Habits band but did find Toby Twirl.

 

I then did another Google search and found Atomic Rooster ...

... who had a song titled 'Devil's Answer'. Seeing as Richard was also banging on about tritone substitution maybe that was what he had in mind.

Anyway - more power to him I say, maybe atomic power (a little joke there).

As he's planning on starting up The Prowse Brothers band again some new material wouldn't go amiss.

Some new members wouldn't either. I'm sure that prospects are lining up out there:

"Giza job mate"