Sunday, 6 July 2025

LOCKER ROOM

The perfume or fragrance industry has reached market saturation where any Tom, Dick or Harry can, if they have a 'name' or connections, scam potential users and generally followers with some other weird smelling shit. Think Kardashians here, or Trumps, sports stars  or the rich-lister offspring of celebrities and wealthy people around the world including in New Zealand.

Many brands and individuals are continually releasing new perfumes and colognes, leading to a feeling that the market is overcrowded and lacking unique offerings.
With so many available, it's difficult to find something truly unique or special, as many scents are similar or simply re-hashes of existing popular 'notes'.

Perhaps the 'notes' that differentiate could be part of the new brand like:
  • Football players' colognes that have a whiff of jockstrap, armpit or general sweat
  • Donald Trump cologne (yes he marketed one recently) that smells of dirty adult diapers and shit
  • X-rated and adult film stars whose perfumes smell of sex
  • Rock and Pop stars fragrances that smell of marijuana and teens' panties
  • Actors whose deodorants smell of greasepaint and despair ...

... you can imagine the rest.

We've all seen many examples of this cashing in which is just ridiculous and I cannot work out why they continue. They are never successful in the long term but obviously make a bundle quickly in the short term duping naive followers to part with money they can ill afford to spend - which of course is why the orange idiot got involved with that, along with casinos, football teams, airlines, memorabilia, crypto-currency, bibles, sneakers, clothing, watches, jewellery etc.


What prompted this post was seeing advertisements for Jimmy Choo perfumes.

Jimmy Choo (contrived name no doubt) is a Malaysian fashion designer based in the United Kingdom. He co-founded Jimmy Choo Ltd, which became known for its handmade women's shoes and went on to market clothing, handbags and accessories. These, the shoes especially, incomprehensibly became 'must have' items for not only the rich-listers and well-heeled (excuse the pun) but for low income earners who can hardly afford rent, mortgages, public transport and food for their children but who just 'need' a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes! Go figure.

Well, now Jimmy Choo (the company that the namesake sold out to years ago) has released a perfume brand:

Admittedly the products are at the bargain end of the market - think The Warehouse, Farmers, Chemist Warehouse and K-Mart but .... even so, the asking prices are $50 to $200 plus for bottles of this generic shit.

I think the USP (unique selling point) should be the aroma of sweaty socks, bacteria, fungal infections, dirty feet and those other intriguing smells that are collectively known as 'locker room'. Ask Donald Trump. He knows all about that.








5 comments:

Richard (of RBB) said...

Quite a positive post.

Richard (of RBB) said...

Are you drinking Cleanskins tonight?

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Positive!
Oh no. Am I slipping?

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Primitivo (with a label on it). The Wine Guy might write a post about the wine soon.

Rob said...

I have long searched for a cologne but always found they smell worse than not having any! I think the safest way is just a soapy smell. At least my comment was 'on topic'.