THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT

I gave my neighbour Rod a ride to tennis. He has a shangeye and doesn't drive while using it. When you're in a confined space with Rod, you have to talk to try and stop him talking. He doesn't listen though because Rod is only interested in shangeyes and what you can kill with them. "My grandson is a brilliant shot with his shangeye. Really accurate. He shot a bush rat yesterday that was in the garden. He thinks it was a bush rat but his neighbour is complaining that her cat is missing. Never mind. My grandson is a really good shot." While it's not worth responding to Rod you can make up answers in your head like "who gives a fuck about your grandson?" or "hey! Watch where you're firing that thing" or "what colour cat was it?". You know, stuff like that. It makes the drive to tennis more bearable.

As you know, last week I didn't drive Rod to tennis. If I had I would have mentioned it in my blog seeing as you readers find what I write to be so riveting. The people at tennis didn't know nor care whether I'd given Rod a ride to tennis but I think that they were secretly pleased because he rode his bike to tennis. When Rod rides his bike he can't fire off shots with his shangeye and so is safer to have around. Quite a few of them gave me a nod and a wink and I think that it was due to me not giving Rod a ride to tennis. Or, that's what I think it was about. I checked to see that my flies weren't open though just to be sure as a couple of the old dames at tennis are a bit frisky. They tell me that I play very well, almost as well as their nephews, cousins, children and grandchildren but I don't really believe them. I think that they are just sucking up so that I don't give Rod a ride in my car to tennis. They admire my tennis racket as well and say things like "Wow! That's a big one" or "you can serve me anytime you want you know". You know, stuff like that.

On the local Facebook pages (formerly known as Neighbourly) that I check for local news there's a tennis coach who advertises lessons. He posts videos of him playing and teaching kids to play. He says that you don't need to have your eyes open to play as by using Zen techniques a good player can just sense where the ball will be. He also advocates taking the strings out of your racket to make the stroke more fluid and unaffected by wind resistance.

Personally I think that he's full of shit (or marijuana) so will not be following his silly advice.

Quite a few people up here don't really like Facebook and Zen tennis teachers and their ilk because quite frankly they prefer to live in their own alternative life-styles living in the bushes. They listen to odd voices in their heads and some even profess to believing in some god who created the world. Many of them also believe that Donald Trump is a saintly person and deserves to go to heaven so there you go. I don't have much truck with them because they are even worse than Rod and don't just have shangeyes - they have guns and like to call the shots. They are not unlike those rednecks and anti-establishment people in and around Otorohanga and Waitomo in that regard.

So, what if people don't like my particular style of tennis playing, the one where I basically hold my position and use cunning spin shots to devastating effect without the use of Zen, god or any religion? "Tough cookies!" I say.