INTERVIEW #38

This post was inspired by Richard who irreverently refers to one of Robert's gods as 'God the Farter'.

No doubt Richard was one of those schoolboy wags who recited "Our Father who farts in heaven" when he was at Mass.

This got me thinking as to whether there is a patron saint or a god of farting and discovered Matshishkapeu, a prominent, culturally revered, and highly humorous figure from the oral mythologies of the Innu people of Arctic Canada. Often literally translated as "The Fart Man" he is known for:

• Controlling the Caribou Master: In one of the most famous legends, the Caribou Master (the spirit who controlled the food animals) greedily withheld food and starved the Innu. Matshishkapeu intervened, cursed the Caribou Master with a cripplingly painful case of constipation until he relented, and ultimately gave the Innu the game they needed to survive.
• Communicating through Gas: The Innu historically believed that every flatulent roar and rumble made by the spirit contained a cryptic but important message. 
• The "Fart of Creation": The concept of ruling/creating the world with flatulence is also heavily tied to the trickster Wakdjunkaga in the traditional mythology of the Winnebago (Ho-Chunk) Native American people. In their creation cycle, Wakdjunkaga scatters all living creatures across the face of the earth and scatters their possessions to the four corners of the world through one enormous expulsion.

          Thanks Wikipedia.

Wow! Now there's a guy worthy of being interviewed. I decided to contact Matshishkapeu as interviewee in INTERVIEW #38.

The Curmudgeon: Hi Matshiskapeu and welcome to The Curmudgeon's Interview Series.

Matshishkapeu: Thanks The Curmudgeon and congratulations on the longevity of this interesting and informative series. As a god of course I'm well aware of your blog and its contribution to education and culture.

The Curmudgeon: Gee, that's nice Matshiskapeu ... can I call you Mats?

Matshishkapeu: Ha ha - call me Mate if you like, I know that you're antipodean. I'll call you TC.

The Curmudgeon: OK Mate. Let's crack on ...

Matshishkapeu: ... Um, TC, speaking of which, where's the ... you know ...

The Curmudgeon: ... Mmmm? Oh, the bathroom? We've got two upstairs and one downstairs. I suggest you use the one downstairs - and open a window Mate! 

Matshishkapeu: Will do TC. I'll pop-pop-pop down there now ha ha.

The Curmudgeon: OK we'll .... Sheesh almighty! What's that pong? Oh ....

Matshishkapeu: I'm back TC. I opened the sliding door to the courtyard as well as the bathroom window. Caribou is nice and filling but it ... you know?

The Curmudgeon: Yes, I do know now. Look Mate, I've been reading up on you and want to know why you're so popular especially among the Innu of Eastern Quebec and Labrador?

Matshishkapeu: Mmm, yes, I've heard it said that I have an “unusual omnipresence” which makes me an especially unique mythological being. 

The Curmudgeon: Omnipresence - you mean like being everywhere?

Matshishkapeu: That's it TC - I can see that you were in 3P. It's said that I'm everywhere, both inside the tent and outside. I'm always with you no matter where you may travel.

The Curmudgeon: Well I was certainly aware of you just before boyo and god (sorry) knows what the neighbours think.

Matshishkapeu: Sorry TC, it's in my nature.

The Curmudgeon: I read that you are famous for 'conversing' with the Innu with great frequency especially while they are hunting, trapping and fishing.  

Matshishkapeu: Ha ha - yes, they see me as a fun god and my “popping up” at inopportune moments makes them laugh.

The Curmudgeon: Yeah funny (gets up to open a couple of windows) but it could be dangerous couldn't it if you suddenly appear and let a big one rip when the Innu are involved in a life-threatening hunt?

Matshishkapeu: Yeah, that happens especially if a polar bear is involved.

The Curmudgeon: Wow!

Matshishkapeu: You're impressed TC - so are the Innu hunters when a polar bear presses down on them.

The Curmudgeon: No Mate. I'm impressed at how bloody stinky your farts are. WTF?

Matshishkapeu: Sorry, maybe I'd better ... oops, oh shit, I've ...

The Curmudgeon: Fuck! That's The Old Girl's fancy armchair - the one I'm not allowed to sit in. You've  ... oh Mate you'd better go - and quickly.

Matshishkapeu: Toodles TC. No coffee then?

The Curmudgeon: Definitely no coffee. Hey! Richard will have some for you. His address is ...