HOLY MOLY!

 I played golf yesterday with Robert.

I didn't play very well but we both played some good shots. Robert played better than me I feel. Even if I'd played well I still would have been outnumbered by Robert and his special friend God* though as Robert himself admitted in his latest post:

"TC did suspect divine intervention when one badly sliced drive of mine bounced off two pine trees and landed back on the fairway!"

Here are some examples.

On the first hole I teed off and hit a rather ordinary shot that landed on the fairway about 3/4 the way up a hill. It was OK, not good but acceptable. Robert teed off and hooked his ball to the left, into some trees and thick undergrowth. We headed off down hill and up on the fairway to discover that my ball was nowhere to be seen but Robert's ball - miraculously - was about 2/3 of the way up the hill on the right side of the fairway, a long way away from where it should have been in the trees to the left. "Funny" I thought, looking suspiciously around for a Trump acolyte-type person who was helping Robert. I dropped another ball and hit off with what I thought was a nice straight shot that sailed over the crest of the hill ... never to be seen again. Robert hit his second shot which crested the hill to the left and should have been in the gorse and long grass on the edge of the copse of trees (no, Richard wasn't in there doing his bear impressions). When we walked up and over the hill and down towards the green, my ball as said, was missing but Robert's was easily found and must have been hovering above the rough grass to the left kind of like the Holy Grail in those silly religious paintings.

"Funny" I thought again this time looking closely at Robert. I conceded the hole and Robert did a nice chip shot and a couple of good putts to finish.

On the next hole Robert, who 'had the honours' teed off to the right of the fairway into the trees and undergrowth. "Lost ball" I stupidly thought and teed off a reasonable shot down the left side of the fairway. I headed to my ball and hit a nice shot which hit the green and rolled across and off to, I assume, nestle beside the longer grass. Robert found his ball (no doubt hovering above the rough again) and hit a good shot to the left and beyond the green into some long grass. "Lost ball" I stupidly thought again and we approached the green. My ball of course was nowhere to be seen and stomping around in the long grass at the back of the green yielded no success. Robert's ball which had gone deeper in to the long grass was of course perched up awaiting his arrival. I took a penalty shot for a lost ball and managed to complete the hole fairly well. Robert also finished but we were even at this stage.

It must be said that Robert, even though he says he has not played much golf, was hitting the ball well and putting very well. I think that he's a natural and, with practice will be a much better player than me, Even better than Richard!

On the next hole we both hit our balls to the left of the fairway with Robert going in to the trees where, I think, his ball was lost. I think we both completed this hole OK and headed to the next where again I thought I'd hit a nice shot up the uphill fairway and Robert, I thought, had hit his in to the trees. Going uphill I found what I assumed was my ball and hit it with a nice shot up to just short of the green. Wrong! It was Robert's ball which somehow had materialised on the fairway away from where he seemed to originally hit it. My ball was nowhere to be seen. We completed the hole with me looking over my shoulder, into the trees with a growing suspicion.

In short we completed a few more holes rather unsuccessfully but with the odd good shot including a nice par three hole that has great views down to Island Bay. We both hit well with our balls landing on the green and both got pars I think.

The next  five holes were indifferent and I managed to lose three more balls with them being gobbled up by trees, gorse and long grass. These 'hazards' didn't seem to bother Robert's ball though and at one time I swear I saw a magpie picking his ball up from the gorse bushes and carrying it to the the middle of the fairway!

On the last hole we played - the 12th - I hit off with a long drive that crested the hill and over to the unseen green but a bit to the right where it should have been sitting below the raised green. Yes, you guessed it, my ball was nowhere to be seen. Robert teed off with a nice long ball to the right where it went into the copse of pine trees (like  the woods really but again, no Richard) and managed to collide with two tall trees before bouncing back on to the fairway! Holy Moly! He hit his second shot which rolled over the crest of the hill, once more in to some more very long grass and "Lost ball" I stupidly thought once again but of course the ball was sitting up nicely on top of the weeds. I imagined Robert gliding across the rough without touching the grass like Jesus on the water.

All in all it was a pleasant afternoon's golf even though Berhampore (Mornington Golf Club) is a challenging course. It will be good for my fitness though if I can find some more golf balls. I lost six of them yesterday and am now regretting giving away about 500 of them to my sister.

I'm looking forward to some more hits with Robert but it might pay to go to Mass beforehand next time.

* Adherents of the Fourth Council of the Lateran who believe in the Holy Trinity would suggested that I was playing against four people.

SUCCULENT

 No, not the tender juicy and tasty pear I ate after lunch. I'm referring to the succulent plants that I put on a couple of Free Stuff sites yesterday.

To date there have been no takers from the two sites that I posted this on - Free Stuff Thorndon, Kelburn and CBD and Free recycling Wellington, Lower Hutt and Upper Hutt.

Obviously Wellingtonians are too well heeled to bother or are not into gardening. If I'd posted this offer in Whangarei Heads there would have been at least half a dozen people clamouring for these. They are nice and in good condition.

Succulents are diverse, drought-tolerant plants with thick, fleshy tissues designed to store water, thriving in arid climates and often used in low-maintenance, decorative gardening. Popular for their varied shapes and colours, they require well-draining soil, bright light, and minimal watering, making them ideal for indoors or outdoors.

Oh well. Never mind eh.

I SAY, THAT'S A BIT RUDE

 From Google:

I started this blog many years ago when I was a whippersnapper and called myself a curmudgeon as a bit of a laugh but, funny enough, as I've grown oder I notice that I've been taking on some of the curmudgeonly characteristics as described above.

Not all though.

I don't see myself yet as misanthropic, disagreeable or miserly but will admit to cynical, cranky, stubborn, cantankerous and becoming set in may ways. The annoyances in modern life and geopolitics run by idiots are not helping in my ever-increasing 'churlish' disposition. The best, or worse, is still to come I guess.

LET'S TALK ABOUT BEES

 Robert called Richard 'the bee's knees' in a post and, predictably, the apis (not a pissed) gentleman from Whyonearthdoesitmatter, went off on a tangent about the anatomy of bees, a subject that he doesn't know a lot about - remember his confusion about Daddy Long-legs?

By way of a riposte (not a rip-off) he suggested that I was a bee's foot! What's that about?

It's not funny but I can live with that.

I think he's more of a bee's arse than its knees but, hey ho.

*** WARNING! ***

 

Anyone living with a woman and, in particular, a woman who is on the cusp of OCD will know the warning signs when it comes to house maintenance and cleaning and take steps to remove a problem before she notices. An example I'll use today is to do with carpet cleaning and vacuuming.

I think that I do OK on the vacuuming front, giving it a go once a week. The in-built vacuum system in this house makes it easier and fun with no machine to drag around behind.This however doesn't make me want to do it any more often.

Today when walking in to the study I noticed this:

Here's a close-up:

Yes, it's a speck. A tiny bit of paper or something but a speck nevertheless. It was right in the doorway where she would have had to have noticed. This would have brought the instruction to vacuum the house tomorrow!

I removed the speck and, on inspection discovered more specks - two on the stairs, three in the lounge and several in the kitchen. I removed those on the stairs and in the lounge but left the bits on the kitchen floor. This is wooden so, when I receive my instructions on removing these a quick brush with a broom and employment of the dust pan and brush will sort that out.

Job done!

PUTTING THE WORLD RIGHT

 I played 9 holes of golf today at Mornington Golf Club which is the fancy name for Berhampore golf course.

The weather was ideal for golf being sunny but not too hot and wind free. Great.

Now I'm a bit of a hacker but there were three young guys ahead of me who looked like they were university students and who were hopeless. Bloody hopeless. Look, to give you an idea of how hopeless they were think of Tony and Richard playing golf. They were that hopeless.

I don't have a photograph of Richard playing golf - that's probably a treasured item at the Marton Golf Club - but the above photograph shows Tony, Mike and me sometime in the 1970s at Pauatahanui golf course. Mike was the best player and still is.

Anyway, after two holes the guys in front stopped and asked me if I wanted to play through. I declined and said I was just enjoying the sunshine and besides, I had friends who were much worse golfers than they were, They laughed and everyone was happy (except Richard and Tony if they'd been there I guess).

I enjoyed my golf and feel that I've made the right decision in joining this club as the views from the top of the hills were stunning. Of course I might think differently in August in a howling southerly.

I didn't lose a  single golf ball but ... I didn't find any either. What's that about?

A MARKER

 Before that old guy moans here's a post ... or a start of one.

A pretty picture

AND IT STONED ME TO MY SOUL ...

That idiot Trump said a day or so ago, when told that the Iranians were going to have a congress of some sort to elect the replacement Ayatollah, that he should have a say in the appointment.

WTF!

Is there no end to this narcissist's hubris?

The Assembly of Experts - the 88-member body is constitutionally responsible for selecting the new leader and is currently holding meetings, reportedly in secret and sometimes virtually due to the ongoing conflict.

Personally I would like to see Trump in the middle of 88 Iranian clerics trying to convince them of his and America's rights over them. We know how that would work out.

OK, OK, you were expecting this:

EVERYBODY WANTS TO RULE THE WORLD

"Everybody Wants To Rule The World"

Welcome to your life

There's no turning back

Even while we sleep

We will find you

Acting on your best behaviour

Turn your back on mother nature

Everybody wants to rule the world

Or, in Trump and his cronies case ... fuck the world, the bottom of the barrel has been reached.

Somehow United States of America has managed to elect the dumbest and most venal president in its history and that's saying something when you look at many of the previous incumbents.

Not only is the guy at the top putting USA into disrepute and accelerating the fall of the empire, he has managed to surround himself with dumb and venal people who he has inexplicably elevated to positions of power way beyond their capabilities.

Trump's cabinet in his first term was made up of idiots and sycophants who, over the four year term almost all got fired.

In this second term he seems to have recruited even worse arselickers assistants who are so stupid and or unqualified for their positions that leaders around the world are laughing at them, President Trump and America.

I'm sure you know the rogues gallery but some stand out as being worse than others like:

Secretary of the Treasury Scott Bessent and Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick are billionaires who have had long-term and very high positions in finance over many decades. It's bewildering how they managed to become so rich and to head up major companies when they are so incompetent and display dumbness in their sycophantic subservience to Trump.

Secretary of Defence Pete Hegseth is a gung-ho fool who is (mis)leading the military into disastrous confrontations - at Trump's bidding.

Attorney General Pam Bondi, another Trump arselicker and enabler is woefully unqualified for the position and should have been booted out many months ago, I guess that toeing the line and doing Trump's dirty business is what keeps her in the job.

Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem whose reported cruelty, egotism and dishonesty has been harmful to thousands of immigrants and citizens and who now is the first major player to get axed. Noem who should have been dumped ages ago for her activities seems to have stayed on in the position because Trump has not wanted to look like he made bad choices and, like the others she has slavishly done his bidding. When things blew up over a quarter of a billion dollar, possibly illegal advertising spend on promoting Home land Security yesterday Trump, who allegedly instructed Noem to spend the money suddenly denied any involvement and had her sacked (if promoting her to a new position of Special envoy for The Shield of the Americas is a sacking).

Trump then immediately promoted 'dumb as a rock' Oklahoma Senator Markwayne Mullin to the position of United States Secretary of Homeland Security (DHS). It's worth doing a search on Mullin (an ex MMA fighter) to see how stupid he is, how phenomenally unqualified he is and how he has blundered his way through politics to date. It would beggar belief that he can be promoted to a cabinet secretary position  ... if it wasn't for the fact that he's in good company.

NOT LOST YET

After a couple of wet, cold and windy days I think I'll make my way outside today.

I've done the washing (mine as she won't let me do hers - I don't do it properly apparently) and sorted out a few things on this computer so now will head out to play a few holes of golf and later play some tennis.

This is my last chance to take advantage of free trials at both Mornington golf course and Thorndon tennis before joining and paying membership fees. I'm pretty certain that I will do join both but today will be the test.

Just to be clear, I'm a crap golfer and a rubbish tennis player but it's a way of keeping fit. "Use it or lose it" -

- Harvard Health tells me and also reminds me that I have a $150 gift card to use that Crown Removals sent me. That will come in handy for a present I want to buy.

*****************

We did go out yesterday evening - to Cuba restaurant (before Donald Trump bombs it) and then to a film at the Lighthouse Cinema. We saw Holy Days, a NZ film set in 1974 depicting a road trip from central North Island, across Cook Strait and down to Aoraki Mount Cook. It was a good little film that's worth a look and was particularly good at capturing the era. It reminded me of a similar road trip that Robert, Noel and I took in 1977 going across the strait, travelling down the West Coast and crossing past Aoraki Mount Cook to Christchurch and then back up the East Coast. I remember the roads being similarly empty and the scenery stunning.

That's it for now but remember -"Use it or lose it".