EACH TO HIS OWN

I don't think I'm a mean person.
I don't mind helping out and sharing when it's needed.
I try my best.
Really.

But ...... when it comes to dining in Indian, Thai, Chinese and other restaurants (tapas style) where a lot of small dishes are ordered I draw the line.

For far too long I used to go with the flow at these type of restaurants and order my one, two or three dishes while other people ordered theirs.
When the dishes arrived and put in the centre (or as far away from me as possible) of the table my fellow diners would help themselves to portions from all of the dishes.

What they ate

All too often the dishes I had ordered were all consumed before I got a look in leaving me with all sorts of diabolical shit that I'd never in a month of Sundays consider ordering. Things like:

What was left for me

• Deep fried sea slug
• Anything with mushrooms
• Anything with offal
• Any shellfish (except prawns and tempura oysters)
• Any pork dish
• Animals' dongs and testicles
• etc.

Obviously, on many occasions I went hungry, eating only the rice and drinking too much wine (one way of getting my share) while still sharing the bill.

A few years ago I decided that enough was enough.

My friends now know that when we go to Chinese, Indian, Thai, Japanese, Spanish etc restaurants or any tapas bars that I will order my own food and I will eat my food.

Sure they think I'm mean.

Sure I feel mean.

But I get to eat what I've ordered, enjoy it and don't have to wonder "what the fuck that chewy thing is in my mouth".

We went to a Japanese restaurant last night with some friends.

The food was outstanding (the Old Girl was paying the bill so I didn't see it so didn't faint).

The Old Girl explained to the friends my ordering method which I stuck to.

The problem was that at this restaurant there weren't any deep fried sea slugs, bulls testicles, monkey brains et al so the others ordered and shared some delectable dishes which I coveted but refused to share in myself even when prompted.

Sometimes principles can be a bastard.