GEREMY WATKINS THE THIRD
There is a strong rumour that the entire blog may be removed soon. This reporter has decided to investigate the reasons.
Having accessed the blog Geremy Watkins the third it was immediately obvious that there were no posts to be seen. Using the links lead me to a geographically close blog Petone Ponderings. The author of Petone Ponderings is very reclusive seemingly going into hibernation for long periods and only occasionally surfacing to witter on about local events, meeting minor celebrities and of course the seasonal status of her garden but she was able to provide some insight into the status of Geremy Watkins the third.
"Geremy Watkins the third is a front for the Moera chapter of The Holy Ghost Appreciation Society. Sometimes going by the alternate name of Geramy The Lesser (yes, I know the spelling is atrocious) the blogbangs onattempts to inform the reader about the existence, form and relevance of The Holy Trinity to our modern lifestyle. No wonder it has disappeared. It has been bringing a bad reputation of naivety and frankly dumbness to our Petone community. Thank God that its base is in Moera or as Geremy/Geramy likes to call it 'Petone Heights'."
The Petone Ponderings spokesperson then descended into an obscene and blasphemous diatribe about Geremy/Geramy and his predilections that this writer has decided, in the best interests of all, not to publish.
Calls to the Archdiocese of Lower Hutt proved unfruitful (despite what is promised in all of those prayers) but a call to The Tablet, the official media outlet for the Catholic Church in New Zealand brought this insight by its editor Ima Arssey:
"Yes, we are aware of Geremy Watkins the third and are relieved that the posts have been suspended (voluntarily) . We warned Geremy/Geramy that propagating Catholic Churchbulls....dogma is the responsibility of The Tablet as the Church's official organ and that claiming sole ownership of the Holy Ghost and stating that he/she/it resides in his house in Moera is frankly preposterous. If The Holy Ghost was to choose to live anywhere in New Zealand then he/she/it would surely live with me. We have four bedrooms, two bathrooms, 3 carparks and are on a nice quarter acre section that is North facing for all day sun. Any offers over....... Sorry. As I was saying we are aware of Geremy Watkins the third and are relieved that the posts have been suspended and if they start up again we will take strong measures to see that the blog is terminated. Amen."
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4 comments:
Fake news. Fake news. Jeramie is the best. He's great. He's the greatest. He'll be back.
Donald
#My Ghost is holy too.
I always thought that Geremy the Lesser was really an illegal brewery. Thanks for clearing this with your investigation.
Chris will get Geremy back into line when the PBs recommence practice in May.
"Once in Persia reigned a king, who upon his regal ring,
Carved these words so true and wise;
Which when raised up to his eyes, gave counsel of his life and passing chance.
Solemn words and these are they, "Even Chris will want me play".
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