Saturday 9 March 2013

"INTRODUCING THE 2013 WANKMOBILE"



Designed especially for the man about town who is in a hurry (or wants to give that impression). The size and weight make this vehicle ideal for pushing your way into lanes of traffic. No need to indicate or give a polite wave or any form of acknowledgement to friendly motorists. They won't be able to see you anyway given the tinted windows and the fact that you are riding several feet higher than the plebs who are driving ordinary cars. If you are a wannabe executive who wants to demonstrate that he is 'on the go' then this is for you.

Admittedly the same could be said for this:



or this:


or any of the other behemoths that are crowding our roads nowadays.

The drivers of these, in the cities are either young mothers who are picking up or dropping off their kids at elite schools or businessmen types in executive, management or PR. Neither type feels it necessary to obey road rules or simple acts of courtesy and can be seen stopping on pedestrian crossings to unload their kids, bullying their way into lanes of traffic after having sped along the relatively empty but incorrect lane or tailgating dangerously close on open speed roads.

I'm not sure if a study has been made of the correlation between aggressive and uncaring personality types and drivers of urban 4WD vehicles but there should be. Given the spurious courses of study promoted by the new pretend universities nowadays maybe there is. I could do a phD in this.

2 comments:

Richard (of RBB) said...

Right on The Curmudgeon! I hate (and I mean it) these wankers!
Why do cars have to be so bloody big? First we had big fucking trucks (evidently driven by morons) who tail gate you late at night when returning from an out of town gig, and then - as if we really want to hold out our cocks on the road to see whose is the biggest - we have these bloody 4 wheel drives! Why do you need one of these monsters to go to the supermarket, or to drop the kids at school? Cars should all be the same size and be incapable of going faster than 50k... that might take the fucking macho thing out of it. Sorry to rave.

THE CURMUDGEON said...

Wow!
What a response.
Sit down and have a chardonnay - I'm drinking Selaks Reserve Chardonnay 2011 from Hawkes Bay. Bloody nice.
All good chardonnays come from the North Island but I'll leave that to The Wine Guy to talk about if he ever gets around to updating his blog.