LABOR PAINS

When The Old Girl and I go to the pictures we generally take it turn about for the choice. If however one of us chooses a diabolically bad film then he or she loses the next turn. Often The Old Girl chooses some romantic comedy or dreary love story which I remonstrate over but never seem to win.
Today, as The Old Girl had work to do I went off to the pictures on my own.
I looked at the offerings at one of our local cinemas and chose Labor Day.

I knew nothing about it but quickly scanned that it was about an escaped criminal who takes a mother and her son hostage. Some reviewer had given it five stars so, without making further investigations I went.

Boy was I wrong. As I said to The Old Girl when I returned, if she had chosen this load of bollocks then I'd claim a free choice for the next twenty films.

Here's the synopsis:

An escaped murderer holds up a woman and her 12 year old son in a supermarket and makes her drive him to her house where he holds them captive. Over the course of a holiday weekend:

• she falls in love with him
• he cooks for them and cleans the house
• they pack up the house with the intention of going to Canada tro make a new life together.

Now remember this was all over the course of a holiday weekend.

I understand the existence (whether true or not) of the Stockholm Syndrome where captives can, over time, empathise with their captors but hell, this was over a few days.

Utter bollocks and horseshit!

The guy was a convicted murderer.
He was inside because of supposedly murdering his wife....... and his child.
OK, the 'flashbacks' try to suggest that the death of his wife and child were accidents (two separate accidents that just happened to occur at the same time. Mmmm) but the stupid woman who decides to run away with him, with her son, didn't know that and didn't ask.

Sheesh. As if the story wasn't already crap, the execution of it was frankly dire. The film was made up of long and dreary scenes of cooking, baking, house cleaning, dancing, car repairing and other mundane events. All the while the son looks on with a gormless expression and the mad woman starts to take an interest in this 'sensitive' male.

Of course he gets recaptured before the silly tart and her idiot son abscond across the border but Jeez, what a waste of bloody time. Kate Winslett and Josh Brolin must be out of their minds agreeing to act in this.