Saturday 7 November 2015

WEIRDEST PEOPLE I'VE MET #3

This next chap was/is weird and would qualify for other categories as well - none complimentary.



At one of the yearly conferences (the Yanks would call it a convention) in USA with the liquor company I worked for we had Bruce Jenner as the guest 'motivational' speaker. This spot as usual was on the morning of the break day in the week long conference with recreational and 'team building' activities in the afternoon.

This conference was at Monarch Beach at Dana Point south of L.A.

Jenner's 'motivational' speech was extremely uninspiring and the FIGJAM merely talked about himself. It was, all agreed, an exercise in self promotion.
After lunch we went to the beach. As the sumptuous resort hotel was actually by the beach this was only a couple of minutes stroll. In keeping with the over-the-top conference management though we of course went via a fleet of golf carts ranging from 2 people ones through to 8 people ones.

The beach trip was for 'team building' games which as anyone who has had to endure this sort of crap is basically self defeating and causes more enmity than camaraderie.



Some marketing or event management idiot thought that in keeping with the Jenner theme (Olympian decathlete) the team building games should incorporate throwing, jumping, running activities (team?) so we all  proceeded to mangle each other as best we could fueled of course by copious lashings of wine, beer and spirits - all company brands of course,

To get from event to event we jumped on the nearest golf cart and usually it was the drunkest one driving.
At one point I went to jump on a buggy only to be told

"Sorry buddy, this one's taken"

It was driven by this joker.



The FIGJAM.

It was an eight-seater and other than him there were two gorillas who were his bodyguards.

The 'buddy' thing got to me and I still proceeded to board the cart. There were 5 spare seats after all.
The gorillas loomed towards me menacingly. The were dressed in dark suits, white shirts and dark ties.
This was California in summer! They were obviously 'packing'. What I don't know - the bulges in their jackets might have been sun-screen lotion but I stepped down, made a 'loser' sign to the 'winner' and got on another cart.



Talking to some of the American conference attendees they said that FIGJAM believed he was so important he needed 'personal security' around him.

Whatever.

In more recent years I've seen him on TV with his family the FWGJAU Kardashians.



This lot obviously deserve each other but, apparently, have split with old Bruce who now goes by the name of Caitlin.



Weird. And getting weirder although I wouldn't mind betting the whole thing is a publicity stunt dreamed up by the 'Reality World' marketers.

2 comments:

Robert Sees Things in Sky said...

That would make the 'Reality World' marketers weirder than Caitlyn Jenner for sure.
Is that number four. (no rhyme intended).

Anonymous said...

Nothing surprises me about the Americans.
'Weirdest People I've Met #4' should be just generic about Americans