BECAUSE AN OLD CENTENARIAN'S BEEN MOANING ABOUT POST UPDATES

It's been a busy and full day today.

We arranged for two real estate agents to come around and to do assessments prior to providing valuations of our property. The third will be calling tomorrow morning.

As our handyman hadn't finished everything yesterday, he was calling between 6 and 7 this morning which meant a real early start for us. While he was working, The Old Girl and I cleaned bathrooms, kitchens and bedrooms and I also moved old bits of timber to under the house, hid all of the paint pots and building materials (under the house), raked up all of the fallen leaves and palm fronds and generally made the place look presentable.

James Dave finished the work (creating new window surrounds) and we were able to do a big clean-up of his work area before the first estate agent arrived at 11am.

After a one hour meeting and house viewing (quite positive) we headed off into town to Palmer's* Garden Centre to purchase plants for the pots on the deck and the front garden area that's most on show. $250 later we headed home - yes, $250! It was just as well that The Old Girl was with me and directing operations because I would have said something like ... "How much? You must be joking".

Back home we were just in time for the arrival of the second real estate agent and went through the process again. The second one (our initial first choice) was even more positive than the first which is encouraging and might make us reconsider our Wellington options ... it won't be Cannon's Creek Porirua after all.

It's been a stunning day here and we've been so busy we largely missed it. I didn't swim like I did yesterday but now feel like a big glass of chardonnay (Tipping Point Hawkes Bay) while preparing dinner (smoked salmon pizza). I'd better not drink too much as I want to enjoy our 37th anniversary dinner tomorrow night with an 'overpriced' Champagne (Taittinger NV).

* Nothing to do with the Mrs Palmer who Richard seems to be obsessed with.

COCKEYED

 I listened to a National Radio report today on the traffic hassles in the Hutt Valley with the opening of a Popeyes fried chicken outlet

QUEUES BLOCK ROAD

Yes, many, many idiots have been queuing up to buy this shit:

As if there aren't already enough food retail chains selling unhealthy takeaway food.

The irony, to me, is that Popeye as in the cartoon was famous for promoting spinach as a health and strengthening food.

I didn't see spinach being used in the offerings in the menu I looked at.

It never fails to amaze me that so many people can get all excited about this kind of rubbish but can't be arsed to vote in national or local elections, volunteer for charity groups, pick up rubbish and litter and generally take an interest in the society they live in. No, in their cockeyed thinking way they pile into their cars and race along to yet another poison factory as if their life depended on it. Well, it does in a way and best to stay away.

HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT

There are some pretty disturbing things happening in the world right now and the sum of these has been added to with the election of Donald Trump to president of USA again bringing along with him many of the odious scoundrels who were in his entourage last time but now with the addition of egregious billionaire who he is sanctifying as oligarchs. Whew! That was a mouthful as the actress said to the bishop. 

Disturbing too is the overtness of much of the odiousness. Trump and his lackeys make no pretence any more of their intentions and are pushing through damaging, cruel and mean legislation that will in the short and the long term create misery for the weakest in society. This plays into the hands of the white supremacists and Neo-fascists who have wormed their ways into worldwide political systems and, to my disgust christians and christian church groups who ignore the terrible things that Trump does and says as long as he fits in with their agenda of suppressing women, LGBTQ people and non-christians. Our own Robert - Rob, the artist formerly known as Rob - fits in here. In a recent post he wrote:

"It's refreshing to see President Trump's common sense stance on transgenderism".

          Rob 

I wonder what his opinion of Elon Musk is? (No doubt I'll pretend to be Rob and write a comment soon if he doesn't enlighten us). Musk, a man who has made a fortune on the backs of others is a reactionary white supremacist and Neo-fascist supporting 'influencer' but, a christian to boot who boasts having fathered a dozen children - is every Catholic person's role model.

Since his fascist - Nazi-like salutes at Trump's inauguration the other day, Musk has doubled down unapologetically on his behaviour thereby influencing and encouraging white supremacist and Neo-Nazi groups around the world and has given open support to the very dangerous German far right AfD party.

Have a look at this if you haven't already.

Life initiating art?

You betcha. If you've read Orwell's Animal Farm or 1984, viewed The Hunger Games or The Handmaid's Tale or even read Shelley's poem Ozymandias or T.S. Eliot's The Waste Land you'll recognise some of the images, phrases and sentiment. Sadly we are all on the ride in a hand basket to hell or, as Robert as Rob puts it"

"So go see your nearest priest and get back on the train to heaven."

         Rob

 

A CHALLENGE TO ROBERT

Rob, reincarnated as Rob (don't ask) is back blogging after a short foray into the cesspit known as Facebook.

In his latest post (I'll copy and paste it for you as he will soon delete it)...

... you will see that he said:

"It's refreshing to see President Trump's common sense stance on transgenderism."

Odious.

I'd like to hear from Robert what his position is on Donald Trump's attack on Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde after she bravely challenged him in a sermon in the Presidential Inauguration church service.

Rachel Maddow from MSNBC spoke with Bishop Mariann Edgar Budde of the Episcopal Diocese of Washington about speaking from the pulpit directly to Donald Trump about showing mercy for the vulnerable people targeted by his policies, and what has happened since, as well as the role of the church in moral leadership in the United States.

MSNBC - Mariann Budde

Budde's brave standing up for Christian principles and common decency has been under attack from Trump and his cronies. It beggars belief that these fools denounce her for speaking in the same way that their Jesus would have if he existed (either then or now). No doubt it has nothing to do with the fact that she is an Episcopalian bishop but everything to do with the fact that she is a woman and maybe a gay one at that.

Odious.

NEW POST - THE BLUE MAN

 The Blue Man has returned to the fold after a holiday on Richard's blog.

"I've just flown in from the coast" he said "and boy, are my arms tired."*

ABSTRACT ART

Welcome back Blue Man. It's good to have you back and you'll enjoy being associated with a proper blog incorporation.

* Blue Man apologises for this very old joke and blames the environment and influence of Richard's Bass Bag.

WEED IT AND REAP

I went to Hammer Hardware this morning and bought some vegetable plants and other essentials for planting my vegetable garden that I'd weeded and dug over yesterday.

A couple of hours of mulching, planting, staking and watering put us back in the home garden business.

OK, it's not exactly worthy of the cover of Yates Garden Guide but it'll provide us with some fresh produce and, more importantly, make the back garden look a bit more presentable and demonstrate to potential buyers that things grow very well here.

I planted ...

• Tomatoes
• Capsicum
• Spring onion
• Broccoli
• Courgettes

... which are the reasonably pricey items in supermarkets and the ones that we most use in salads and stir-fries. We've still got loads of green and red chillies in the freezer from last year's crop.

That's another of my jobs ticked off.

Gosh! I nearly signed off without telling you what I'm cooking for dinner tonight. Last Saturday it was a cheese soufflé, today will be schnitzel with Hasselback potatoes and green vegetables. A sparkling shiraz will go well with this.

BACK TO THE GARDEN

But first:

 

An old man from Wainuiomata
Heard that girls there were so much smarter
So he went to his doc
And said "cut off my cock"
Now he goes by the name of Ricarda

****** 

I've been busy this morning.

I rose early and mowed the lawn at 7am*.

I then got stuck in to weeding, digging and re-filling the vegetable planter in the back garden. I've just stopped as the sun crept around and started to cook me. I'm stuffed now (not Ricarda).

I'll update later with some pics - I know that you like pictures.





* I use an EGO battery mower which is almost soundless and doesn't annoy the neighbours.

BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS*

* Robert would recognise that as a title of a Kurt Vonnegut work if he ever came back to blogging.

I've mentioned before that my favourite breakfast is a mixture of Weetbix, All Bran, apple sauce and prune juice - "baby food" as The Old Girl calls it.

I've been a bit remiss in not showing you how this is prepared so, this morning as I've got some time before I head off to tennis, I'll show you.

You will need some All Bran, some apple sauce and some prune juice.

Mix these together in a container so that the mixture is moist - not too soggy.

Store this in the fridge - it will last a few days.

In the morning you will need Weetbix.

Put a couple of the 'biscuits' into a bowl.

Pour some hot water over the 'biscuits'.

Add a couple of spoonfuls of the pre-prepared mixture.

Top up wit fresh milk.

And there you have it. You can add fruit if you like. Blueberries go well with this.

I trust that this was informative.

 

 

HAND JOB

I've been builder's assistant again today.

Do you remember when I was last a builder's assistant?

Never mind if you've forgotten - here's a reminder: HERE

Dave our builder/handyman needed some help yesterday and must have read that blog post of 3 years ago because he asked for a hand.

Here it is:

The more observant readers reader might notice that my hand is blue. This is because when I was assisting and making measurements using my old extendable and retractable tape measure the bloody (literally afterwards) thing rapidly retracted and the metallic tape sliced through the pads of two of my fingers. Bastard! I had to use Dettol, antiseptic ointment and lots of sticking plasters on them. Today, after redressing I decided to wear a surgical glove to keep the plasters dry and clean. Note: typing while wearing the glove might lead to misspellinfs.

I had some duties early on (not measuring) and then was sent out on a mission to buy some urgently needed extra supplies for the tiling job in the bedroom.

You might remember that some time ago I wrote a post about the difficulties of shopping for things that women want ... hold on, here's a link ... just kidding. Well builders can be just as annoying. They don't really explain what they want properly, expecting apprentices to interpret their shorthand.

This happened today when I was sent to purchase some Durasheet 2400 x 450 x 4.5mm Fibre Cement Sheet. He said that they would cut it to size from the full size sheet (2400 x 1200 x 4.5mm). He was wrong. 

The first place I went to said that it was listed on their website but they didn't have any in stock. They also said that even if they did have it in stock they don't have a cutting option.

The second place I went to said that they did have it in stock  the full size only but when I asked the trade guy if he would cut it to size for me he just rudely said "no". I picked up my keys and wallet and stormed out. In case you are wondering, the full size sheet would not fit in my car.

The third place I went to, Bunnings, did stock the board but only in the 1200 and 600 size - not the 450 size. They also said that they have no cutting facility but were a hell of a lot more polite about it. The trades assistant helped me 'jam' a 2400 x 600 sheet into my small car with the board resting up against the windscreen and nudging my shoulder as I drove but hey! I made it. I was also able to buy the levelling compound and nails that my builder/handyman asked for. The service at Bunnings was great.

It had been stressful and I did consider doing some TM between store visits or employing one of Richard's gnomes but all's well that ends well. Dave the builder/handyman was happy and was able to cut the sheet to size and complete the job.

I wonder what tomorrow will bring. I'll be ready.

RELATIVELY SPEAKING

 I see that Richard is still banging on about metro gnomes and crotches.

A metro gnome

A crotch

A metrognome crotch

In a recent post Richard wrote:

Metronomes:

"Apart from playing long notes for tone and checking your intonation, practising with a metronome is one of the most important things that a musician can do. Never underestimate it! For my jazz playing I like to practise at crotchet = 120, especially when practising swing tunes. Then I like to move the metronome up to crotchet = 240. Let's imagine that we're practising walking likes on a double bass. At solo time you may want to use quavers (eighth notes). I have found that crotchet = 240 is a good speed to get these two things under control. Then, when you feel ready, you can slowly increase the speed. The quavers that worked at crotchet = 240 should move up to faster speeds pretty easily. It's all about getting those fingers comfortable."

        Richard of RBB 

Well, whatever that meant I know that there can be a correlation between speeding things up and a perception of things going slowly as a result. Albert Einstein said:

“An observer who is sitting eccentrically on the disc K' is sensible of a force which acts outwards in a radial direction, and which would be interpreted as an effect of inertia (centrifugal force) by an observer who was at rest with respect to the original reference-body K. But the observer on the disc may regard his disc as a reference body which is “at rest”; on the basis of the general principle of relativity he is justified in doing this. The force acting on himself, and in fact on all other bodies which are at rest relative to the disc, he regards as the effect of a gravitational field.”

        Albert Einstein 

Which makes at least as much sense as what Richard wrote.

I was thinking of this today when I was sitting in the waiting room of the eye specialist. I closed my eyes and breathed rhythmically and slowly - a transcendental meditation trick that a GP taught me back in the 1990s. This has the effect of slowing down the heart rate and helps to de-stress. In time you can slow down your breathing, heart rate and thoughts to the point where you can imagine that things going on about you are very still or stopped while you can, of you want move at norma speed yourself - kind of like in that film series The Matrix.

I was doing this with my eyes closed when the receptionist called my name. I 'woke up' with a start and she looked at me severely and told me that the specialist was waiting. She must have thought that I'd nodded off. I somehow doubt that she'd ever seen The Matrix nor heard about Albert Einstein let alone Richard of RBB.

 Well, that's it.

Goodnight.

THE WILD. WILD NORTH

The wild weather continues.

Last night and today it's worse than ever - well, since the last typhoon anyway.

The boats in the bay have been taking a hammering, losing sails and at least one boat sinking.

It'd be a good day to stay indoors writing blog posts for your enjoyment and edification but, sorry, we have to go into town unfortunately. A doctor and a dentist appointment for her and an eye specialist appointment for me.

We'll have to leave early as the road will be tricky in the storm and stooge around in town between appointments. Raincoats or other wet weather gear will be a necessity.

Hey ho!

THE FRIENDLESS SOCIETY

It's still raining up north so I haven't been outside for anything other than unblocking the guttering at the southern end of the house. The storm during the night blew a lot of debris into the downpipes but ... all good now.

I had a look at the other blogs in this community and boy, are my arms tired*.

* Yes, I know that makes no sense and is a passing reference to a very old joke but ... those other blogs made no sense either and use very, very old and unfunny jokes as well.

Robert's blog has gone leaving behind the shell that it was packaged in - some drivel about Pope Francis and some guy named Rick Wheelbarrow or something. Nothing to be seen there that's for damn sure.

Richard's blog has a couple of new posts that are really just a big moan about how Robert has been snobbing him and how he feels abandoned - well, really nothing new to be seen there either.

I might as well go and join The Friendless Society.

The Friendless Society

 

TODAY'S MONDAY ...

   ... "Monday is washing day".

Well, according to this song anyway.

It's too wet and wild outside today for hanging washing.

Northland is putting on its worst for us at present as if to say "you won't miss me when you've gone".

We've had storms and heavy rain through the weekend and it's forecast to be bad during the week. I can hear a fluttering sound from the bay which means that one of the yachts moored has a sail unfurled. I'll have to put an alert on Facebook/Neighbourly as the sail will get damaged unless tied up again securely.

Living in a coastal/rural environment makes us more aware of the effects that weather has and having to clear up after storms. I guess we won't have to worry about that living in an apartment in Wellington - other than earthquakes I suppose.

We're getting closer to finishing the house maintenance and pre-sale preparation. Our handyman is tiling an area in front of the French doors in the bedroom today - a good indoor job. He still has to complete some window frame fixits and some weatherboard patching but this will have to wait for the weather to clear.

We've sold and given away some more furniture - the largest item being the oak wardrobe that sold on Trade Me yesterday.

Most of the rest we'll take to Wellington but unfortunately will be unlikely to fit in the 8-seater heavy glass table that has served us well for the last 20 years. I guess we'll have to sell it or give it away.

How's your day going? 

Richard no doubt is fiddling about.

Maybe Robert will create a new blog - the 200th reincarnation. I hear that 'The Grouse Brothers' is available as a title. He and they are, after all, 'talon-ted musicians'.

NEW POST - THE CURMUDGEON'S AGONY AUNT

 

WAINUIOMATA WHERE ...

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO ...?

The more observant reader will notice that the title of this post is 'open' suggesting that it might be the beginning of a new series. Well done those readers, that reader anybody? 

Anyway, the title of this post is:

 WHATEVER HAPPENED TO RICHARD'S BASS BAG TOURS?

You might remember that Richard of RBB used to take visitors on a rather dodgy and sketchy tour of greater Wellington, concentrating on points of interest - well, of interest to him I guess. We haven't heard anything about this recently. Maybe it's because of the problems he has had in trying to leave 'the valley' to get to the greater part of Wellington.

See this from his most recent post:

I guess that he's getting old and Richard's Bass Bag Tours are becoming a bit too much for him. In fact this is what he himself said in a comment on that very post:

"Okay, it's not long after 3.30pm and I'm sitting on our couch. I continued cleaning the outside walls on our house and now I feel exhausted - I'm feeling my age lately. I can't even be bothered going down to the computer where it is easier to type. A big fly came inside a little time ago. We used to call them blowflies. Noisy buggers! Imagine his experience. It's a beautiful day outside. The flowers and the greenery look very inviting, but he sees an open door and two double basses and imagines that it might be fantastic inside! As it turns out, not much inside appeals to him but now he can't find the way out. He probably thinks, "Fuck!" I wonder if Heaven might be similarly disappointing for humans? Maybe the Christian god just likes different things. Maybe the music in Heaven is all church music? Maybe pubs are full of altar wine? Like thar fly, maybe we're better off outside?"

- RBB

Let's hope that he can get off that couch and into his coach for 2025.

Richard's Bass Bag Tours 2025

SITUATION NORMAL*

* No SNAFU.

As mentioned on another of my blogs, I had an MRI scan yesterday and here's an abridged version of the report that they sent to me:

FINDINGS

As per the previous scan, there are multiple foci of T2 hyperintensity

within the white matter of both cerebral hemispheres, in keeping with

moderate chronic small vessel ischaemic change...

No focus of restricted diffusion is seen to suggest a recent infarct.

No focus of susceptibility artefact is seen to suggest intracerebral

haemorrhage.

No mass lesion is seen within either cerebral or cerebellar hemisphere or

the brainstem.

There are normal appearances of the pituitary, no pituitary mass or

suprasellar mass is identified, there are normal appearances of the optic

chiasm.

Normal appearances of the craniocervical junction.

The ventricular system is symmetrical and of normal size with no evidence of

hydrocephalus or raised intracranial pressure.

Normal appearances of both orbits...

Normal vascular opacification.

No abnormal enhancement is identified.

 

CONCLUSION

Stable appearances compared to the previous MRI scan from 27 October 2018.

Moderate chronic small vessel ischaemic changes with a mature lacunar

infarct within the left cerebellar hemisphere.

No more recent infarct is identified.

No mass lesion is seen, no chiasmal lesion is identified.

Sorry about all that technical stuff - you must be tired of that after reading the music and religion blog posts from other sites.

That's a relief though and the scheduled cataract operation (lens replacement) can go ahead in a few weeks.

Remember - I'll be keeping an eye on you.

But might not need spectacles to do so after the operation.

 

NEW POST - THE MUSIC CURMUDGEON

OH WELL 

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 

OUR LADY OF KAPITI

 

BONUS POST FROM THE ART HISTORIAN CURMUDGEON*

* As yet there isn't an art historian curmudgeon but, pending readers' responses one can be created.

🎁*******************🎁

THE ART HISTORIAN CURMUDGEON

You may have noticed that Richard, in a recent post used an image from Ludovico Mazzolino's 'God The Father' painting (painted between 1510 and 1520).

Had Richard, like me, studied 'Renaissance Art Stage Two' at Victoria University he would know that artists, particularly artists from The Renaissance used images of themselves or their patrons when painting religious artwork.

Ludovico Mazzolino (1480 – c. 1528) was also known as Mazzolini da Ferrara, Lodovico Ferraresa, and Il Ferrarese . He was an Italian Renaissance painter who lived and worked in Ferrara and Bologna the source (sauce) of many great creations - a little cultural joke there.

 Much of Mazzolino's work was commissioned by the duke Ercole I d'Esme from Ferrara who was a bit older than Mazzolino. The duke, in all of the paintings that Mazzolino and others did of him is always portrayed as wearing a hat which might be a clue to his baldness and being a bald old coot.

Mazzolino died relatively young, even for the times, but may have been a bald young coot though. The exact date, or even year, of his death is unknown, but he died during a plague which devastated the area he lived in.

I hope that you liked this post and are appreciative of my efforts to bring a little bit of historical accuracy into your reading. When it comes to Richard (of RBB)'s blog posts, like with anything said or written by Donald Trump it's a case of caveat emptor.

🎁*******************🎁

'MY EYES ARE DIM I CANNOT SEE ..."

I mentioned last month that I have a problem with my eyesight, finding it difficult to clearly see things that I'm reading (and typing in case any pedamtic old X - skoo cgoggletichers ary ruding this).

I made an appointment with an eye specialist last month and that appointment is tomorrow.

The Old Girl has  to drive me in and to home because the procedure means that the drops they put in my eyes for the examination rule out driving for a while afterwards. I guess that golf will be out as well (boom boom - an old stand-up Dean Martin-type joke there).

With the long waiting list for GP appointments, dental appointments and basically any professional or specialist procedures nowadays (what's that about? Maybe an investigative post is required?) I made this appointment while looking at my diary for a clear week. Of course, Murphy's Law steps in and makes sure that the day of my appointment will be the funeral day of a beloved uncle who died during the week and whose funeral is tomorrow in Paraparaumu. I can't go as I've waited so long for this specialist appointment and need to get things sorted out.

Eyesight is an extremely valuable sense that many people take for granted. One of my tennis playing mates, Bruce, recently underwent major eye surgery. He had been having trouble with his eye and his vision was getting w ..... yes, you read that correctly, I said "his eye". Bruce, who is the best tennis player at the club only has one working eye. He was blinded in the other as a child about 70 years ago. Recently his good eye has been giving him gyp and so, after an eye specialist appointment he was scheduled for surgery to correct a range of problems. It was touch and go but after several surgeries his vision has improved and he says that he hasn't seen as clearly for decades.

In previous posts I've hinted suggested regaled you with anecdotes of my eyesight and the need to wear glasses from about 14 years on. Hey! Did I tell you this story about when a flatmate of mine asked me, after I told her, that when I take my glasses off I can hardly see anything and she then asked me how I make love, I told her that I did it in Braille much to her amusement (and willingness to put it to the test)?

Moving on ...  I'm not sure what the eye specialist will discover tomorrow. I can accept cataracts or macular degeneration which are both fairly serious. If it's cataracts a laser op. will fix it, macular degeneration - less likely to be fixed. It may well be that a new spectacle prescription for my astigmatism is needed.

I can live with that - I gave up vanity years ago.

We're all getting old and medical procedures beckon.  A good friend is undergoing chemotherapy at present but it looks like, invasive as it may be, the results are looking good. A beloved and close family member recently underwent chemotherapy and thankfully (not thanks to any god) made it through.

Stay safe friends and readers and if you have any sort of health problem for Robert's god's sake - get it checked out early.

INTERVIEW # 31

This weekend, somewhere in the Hutt Valley, two old fiddlers stringed instrument players will get together for a 'play-off' - one on double bass and the other on cello. Gosh! It's a pity that I'm busy up north and will miss this.

I'm not sure what they will play and like to think it's 'Camptown Races' or something similar but knowing them it's likely to be classical music. Might I recommend 'Duet for Cello and Bass' by Gioachino Rossini?

Maybe we should get old Gioachino's opinion on this. We haven't conducted an interview for a while so this is opportune.

INTERVIEW # 31 GIOACHINO ROSSINI

TC: Welcome Gioachino to the latest interview where we interview people who often don't get the chance to be heard ...

GR: Che diavolo vuoi dire? Gioachino Rossini è ascoltato quotidianamente da milioni di persone in tutto il mondo.

TC: Hey! Hey! Don't get your knickers in a twist GR and speak in English please. I'm not talking about your music. I like opera and you are one of my favourites. It's Richard who makes scathing remarks ...

GR: ... Basta! Who is this Richard person who makes scathing remarks about me?

TC: Richard? Oh he's just some old guy who lives in Wainuiomata he ... ha ha, get this GR, he calls it Nuova Lazio!

GR: Nuova Lazio? Does he not know that in Italian that means ...

TC: ... Yes, yes he knows that. He's been speaking and writing in Italian for years for some reason. He even once had an Italian friend.

GR: Testa di cazzo! Che due palle!

TC: Yes, his name is Richard and he say's 'piano' a lot.

GR: I'm not surprised that he doesn't have any Italian friends then.

TC: He plays double bass too.

GR: Ah!

TC: Ah?

GR: Si, ah! I wrote some music about the double bass - as accompaniment to a cello would you believe?

TC: Yes I know GR and here's the kicker - Richard's brother Robert plays cello.

GR: Brother Robert? Is he one of those religious guys who ...

TC: ... who fiddle with little boys? No ... well, yes and no. He doesn't fiddle with little boys but he is religious he ... oh! I see why you got confused. Robert is Richard's brother. He's not Brother Robert ha ha. Actually, that image of you above looks like a cross between Richard and Robert - a doppelganger if you will.

GR: I won't. Ha ha Il mio errore. So, cello and double bass eh. I bet that they have arguments.

TC: Like you wouldn't believe GR. Like you wouldn't believe. Anyway, enough about those old duffers, we're here to talk about you. You wrote 39 operas, all before the age of 37. 

GR: Yes, that's right but then I just retired you know. I lived on for another 40 years afterwards though.

TC: Ha ha - like me. I retired early as I felt that I did my best work when I was young. What did you get up to when you retired GR?

GR: Oh, you know, a bit of this and that. Although most people know me for my operas I also composed orchestral pieces, such as Sonata No. 6 in D Major for String Orchestra.

TC: Really?

GR: Yes, really. We talked before about that 'Duet for Cello and Bass'. Keep up TC.

TC: Yeah, sorry about that. I must have nodded off. GR, I read somewhere that, throughout your career, food and music proved to be one of your passions. 

“Eating, loving, singing and digesting are, in truth, the four acts of the comic opera known as life,” you once said, “and they pass like bubbles of a bottle of champagne. Whoever lets them break without having enjoyed them is a complete fool.”

GR: (Burrrp) Scusa! Yes, I said that. It inspired Luciano Pavarotti who took it too far, got fat and died at a young age unfortunately.

TC: (Looking discreetly at Rossini) Mmm - maybe you took your passion to greater heights as well GR.

GR: Rude!

TC:   Yeah, mi scusi. I also read that you took pride in being able to write about anything. You once said:

 ”Give me a laundry list, and I’ll set it to music.”

GR: Actually I said that a lot of times. I was known for my quips back in the day and before the days of social media I had to repeat it a lot (buurp) Scusi!

TC: Old Richard says and does similar things. He writes music about his washing machine and his dryer you know, and once his oven door blew off but I don't know if that had anything to do with music.

GR: Well even Wagner had good moments, (but awful quarters of an hour).

TC:  Ha ha - that's a good one. You also said:

”How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.” 

GR: Yeah I know but only because some fat bastard tenor drank my best wine - the one without a label.

TC: Like Richard.

GR: Strauss?

TC: No, Prowse.

GR: Ah yes. I liked those Star War films.

TC: ????

TC: Well, moving on GR, you're known as a bit of a rocketman. The Rossini rocket where you made frequent use of the crescendo, in which music gradually builds in volume and speeds to a climax. They called you “Signor Crescendo” during your career, and the technique itself became known as a “Rossini crescendo,” or better yet, “Rossini rocket.” 

GR: That's true TC but not everyone liked it though. Some bastard writing in Grove’s Dictionary of Music and Musicians wrote:

 “The crescendo degenerated into a mere mannerism with Rossini, in whose works it is used with wearisome iteration,” 

Cazzo!

TC: Yea, cazzo! Talking of rocketman, and I was, did you know that Elton John wrote a song titled 'Rocketman'?

GR: Of course TC. I whispered in Reginald's ear many years ago. He wasn't the only pop singer I influenced you know? I see myself as a pop culture muse. I inspired “The Lone Ranger” theme, remember that? My favourite though is the Chuck Jones cartoon “Rabbit of Seville” (1950) where Bugs Bunny doubles as Figaro to torment Elmer Fudd. Classic:

TC: Yes, classic. Well GR, we're out of time now. The Old Girl is hinting that it's time to open the Champagne - Veuve Cliquot vintage rose tonight and there's only enough for two. Besides, it has a label on it so you won't like it. Bye!

THE WAY I WANT TO GO

 WRITE YOUR OWN DEATH NOTICE

 ... and your own eulogy.

Hey! I'll even go so far as to select my own music to be played at my funeral service burial cremation.

I can rely on The Old Girl who is strong, clever and who has experience in this having conducted her father's, her mother's and her son's funerals to organise this. She will also speak a eulogy before or after reading mine. This is what a shared life is truly about.

FACING FACTS

 Just to hand are some new face comparison images of Richard of RBB to various other personalities. I know that readers are keen to see these.

YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS STUFF UP*

 * Well, you couldn't - I can and frequently do but in this case I got this from the internet 

Christina the Astonishing

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia



Saint Christina the Astonishing

Christina the Astonishing appearing in the 1630 Fasti Mariani calendar of saints - feast day July 24th front of card.
Born 1150
Brustem, County of Loon (appropriately)
Died 24 July 1224
Sint-Truiden, County of Loon
Venerated in Catholic Church Feast July 24
Patronage people with mental disorders, mental health workers (who would have thought?)

Christina the Astonishing (c.1150 – 24 July 1224), also known as Christina Mirabilis, was a Christian holy woman born in Brustem (near Sint-Truiden), Belgium. Christina is primarily known for her legendary resurrection during her funeral mass, and numerous other miracles attributed to her during her life. 

She was considered a saint in her own time, and for centuries following her death, as noted by her appearance in the Fasti Mariani Calendar of Saints of 1630, and Alban Butler's Lives of the Saints.  Though never formally canonised, she is commemorated in the current edition of the Roman Martyrology on 24 July, the day of her death.

Life

Christina was born to a religious family, the youngest of three daughters. After being orphaned at the age of fifteen, she worked taking the herds to pasture. She suffered a massive seizure when she was in her early twenties. Her condition was so severe that witnesses assumed she had died. A funeral was held, but during the service, "she arose full of vigour, stupefying with amazement the whole city of Sint-Truiden, which had witnessed this wonder. She levitated up to the rafters, later explaining that she could not bear the smell of the sinful people there."

Saint Christina the Astonishing (Mirabilis) front of prayer card from 1892 confirming by the Bishop Victor-Josephus that her relics were at the time cared for by the Redemptorists and that her Feast day was July 24th.

She related that she had witnessed Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. She said that as soon as her soul was separated from her body, angels conducted it to a very gloomy place, entirely filled with souls enduring such torments that it was impossible to describe them. She claimed that she had been offered a choice of either remaining in heaven or returning to earth to perform penance in order to deliver souls from the flames of Purgatory. Christina agreed to return to life and in that instant stood up. She told those around her that she had returned to life for the sole purpose of bringing relief to the departed and conversion to sinners.

Christina renounced all of life's comforts, reduced herself to extreme destitution, dressed in rags, lived without home or hearth, and not content with these privations eagerly sought out all that could cause her suffering. At first, she fled human contact and, suspected of being possessed, was jailed. Upon her release, she took up the practice of extreme penance.

Thomas of Cantimpre, then a canon regular who was a professor of theology, wrote a report eight years after her death, based on the accounts of those who knew her.

Saint Christina the Astonishing (Mirabilis) church photo with a caption reading "In pestilence, famine, and war, deliver us Lord - Saint Christina for your community intercede".

Thus, argues Bellarmine, "God willed to silence those libertines who make open profession of believing in nothing, and who have the audacity to ask in scorn, Who has returned from the other world? Who has ever seen the torments of Hell or Purgatory? Behold two witnesses. They assure us that they have seen them and that they are dreadful. What follows, then, if not that the incredulous is inexcusable, and that those who believe and nevertheless neglect to do penance are still more to be condemned?"

The reference was to Cardinal Jacques de Vitry, who met her and recounted that she would throw herself into burning furnaces and there suffer great tortures for extended times, uttering frightful cries, yet coming forth with no sign of burns upon her. In winter she would plunge into the frozen Meuse River for hours and even days and weeks at a time, all the while praying to God and imploring his mercy. She sometimes allowed herself to be carried by the currents downriver to a mill where the wheel "whirled her round in a manner frightful to behold", yet she never suffered any dislocations or broken bones. She was chased by dogs which bit her.

After being jailed a second time, upon her release she moderated her approach somewhat. Christina died at the Dominican Convent of Saint Catherine in Sint-Truiden, of natural causes, aged 74. The prioress there later testified that, despite her behaviour, Christina would humbly and fully obey any command given her by the prioress.

In his commentaries to a new edition of the Latin text, the French historian Sylvain Piron suggests that she was only about 12 at the time of her apparent death. Her birth should rather be placed around 1170 than 1150.

Legacy and veneration

Christina the Astonishing has been recognised as a saint since the 12th century. She was placed in the calendar of the saints by at least two bishops of the Catholic Church in two different centuries (17th & 19th) that also recognised her life in a religious order and preservation of her relics. The Catholic Church allows and recognises veneration of saints upheld by the laity; canonisation is understood as a re-affirming of the more notable examples of Christian life as mentioned in the Catechism of the Catholic Church, and Saint Christina the Astonishing, having early church recognition, is due her title of Saint as stated by the church's Magisterium and sacred tradition.

Veneration of Christina the Astonishing has never been formally approved by the Catholic Church, but there remains a strong devotion to her in her native region of Limburg. Prayers are traditionally said to Christina to seek her intercession for millers, for those suffering from mental illness, and for mental health workers.

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Yep. That all seems fair. What's not to believe there?

Excuse me, I'm just off to look for fairies at the bottom of the garden.