INTERVIEW # 31

This weekend, somewhere in the Hutt Valley, two old fiddlers stringed instrument players will get together for a 'play-off' - one on double bass and the other on cello. Gosh! It's a pity that I'm busy up north and will miss this.

I'm not sure what they will play and like to think it's 'Camptown Races' or something similar but knowing them it's likely to be classical music. Might I recommend 'Duet for Cello and Bass' by Gioachino Rossini?

Maybe we should get old Gioachino's opinion on this. We haven't conducted an interview for a while so this is opportune.

INTERVIEW # 31 GIOACHINO ROSSINI

TC: Welcome Gioachino to the latest interview where we interview people who often don't get the chance to be heard ...

GR: Che diavolo vuoi dire? Gioachino Rossini è ascoltato quotidianamente da milioni di persone in tutto il mondo.

TC: Hey! Hey! Don't get your knickers in a twist GR and speak in English please. I'm not talking about your music. I like opera and you are one of my favourites. It's Richard who makes scathing remarks ...

GR: ... Basta! Who is this Richard person who makes scathing remarks about me?

TC: Richard? Oh he's just some old guy who lives in Wainuiomata he ... ha ha, get this GR, he calls it Nuova Lazio!

GR: Nuova Lazio? Does he not know that in Italian that means ...

TC: ... Yes, yes he knows that. He's been speaking and writing in Italian for years for some reason. He even once had an Italian friend.

GR: Testa di cazzo! Che due palle!

TC: Yes, his name is Richard and he say's 'piano' a lot.

GR: I'm not surprised that he doesn't have any Italian friends then.

TC: He plays double bass too.

GR: Ah!

TC: Ah?

GR: Si, ah! I wrote some music about the double bass - as accompaniment to a cello would you believe?

TC: Yes I know GR and here's the kicker - Richard's brother Robert plays cello.

GR: Brother Robert? Is he one of those religious guys who ...

TC: ... who fiddle with little boys? No ... well, yes and no. He doesn't fiddle with little boys but he is religious he ... oh! I see why you got confused. Robert is Richard's brother. He's not Brother Robert ha ha. Actually, that image of you above looks like a cross between Richard and Robert - a doppelganger if you will.

GR: I won't. Ha ha Il mio errore. So, cello and double bass eh. I bet that they have arguments.

TC: Like you wouldn't believe GR. Like you wouldn't believe. Anyway, enough about those old duffers, we're here to talk about you. You wrote 39 operas, all before the age of 37. 

GR: Yes, that's right but then I just retired you know. I lived on for another 40 years afterwards though.

TC: Ha ha - like me. I retired early as I felt that I did my best work when I was young. What did you get up to when you retired GR?

GR: Oh, you know, a bit of this and that. Although most people know me for my operas I also composed orchestral pieces, such as Sonata No. 6 in D Major for String Orchestra.

TC: Really?

GR: Yes, really. We talked before about that 'Duet for Cello and Bass'. Keep up TC.

TC: Yeah, sorry about that. I must have nodded off. GR, I read somewhere that, throughout your career, food and music proved to be one of your passions. 

“Eating, loving, singing and digesting are, in truth, the four acts of the comic opera known as life,” you once said, “and they pass like bubbles of a bottle of champagne. Whoever lets them break without having enjoyed them is a complete fool.”

GR: (Burrrp) Scusa! Yes, I said that. It inspired Luciano Pavarotti who took it too far, got fat and died at a young age unfortunately.

TC: (Looking discreetly at Rossini) Mmm - maybe you took your passion to greater heights as well GR.

GR: Rude!

TC:   Yeah, mi scusi. I also read that you took pride in being able to write about anything. You once said:

 ”Give me a laundry list, and I’ll set it to music.”

GR: Actually I said that a lot of times. I was known for my quips back in the day and before the days of social media I had to repeat it a lot (buurp) Scusi!

TC: Old Richard says and does similar things. He writes music about his washing machine and his dryer you know, and once his oven door blew off but I don't know if that had anything to do with music.

GR: Well even Wagner had good moments, (but awful quarters of an hour).

TC:  Ha ha - that's a good one. You also said:

”How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.” 

GR: Yeah I know but only because some fat bastard tenor drank my best wine - the one without a label.

TC: Like Richard.

GR: Strauss?

TC: No, Prowse.

GR: Ah yes. I liked those Star War films.

TC: ????

TC: Well, moving on GR, you're known as a bit of a rocketman. The Rossini rocket where you made frequent use of the crescendo, in which music gradually builds in volume and speeds to a climax. They called you “Signor Crescendo” during your career, and the technique itself became known as a “Rossini crescendo,” or better yet, “Rossini rocket.” 

GR: That's true TC but not everyone liked it though. Some bastard writing in Grove’s Dictionary of Music and Musicians wrote:

 “The crescendo degenerated into a mere mannerism with Rossini, in whose works it is used with wearisome iteration,” 

Cazzo!

TC: Yea, cazzo! Talking of rocketman, and I was, did you know that Elton John wrote a song titled 'Rocketman'?

GR: Of course TC. I whispered in Reginald's ear many years ago. He wasn't the only pop singer I influenced you know? I see myself as a pop culture muse. I inspired “The Lone Ranger” theme, remember that? My favourite though is the Chuck Jones cartoon “Rabbit of Seville” (1950) where Bugs Bunny doubles as Figaro to torment Elmer Fudd. Classic:

TC: Yes, classic. Well GR, we're out of time now. The Old Girl is hinting that it's time to open the Champagne - Veuve Cliquot vintage rose tonight and there's only enough for two. Besides, it has a label on it so you won't like it. Bye!