CRIMESCENE REVISITED*

 * With apologies to Evelyn Waugh.

"I need a console table to put the downstairs TV on matey" said The Old Girl today. We measured the site and she decided that a tall and narrow table 1200mm high, 250mm deep and 1100mm wide would do the trick. I expressed scepticism that such an item would be hard to find. She went on-line and found a couple of options. I pointed out that these were on Chinese sites purporting to be NZ companies and that there would be likely:

• A long delay to get the product
• The product would be made of shoddy materials
• The site might be a pain in the arse site like the Dick Smith's one.

I volunteered to go out shopping for the required bit of furniture. I went first to the local furniture outlet where we bought lounge and dining room furniture, then I went to two op shops in Taranaki Street before going to Harvey Norman's in Tory Street. I then drove out to Lyall Bay to The Warehouse where we bought the study desks and then to Bunnings. All with no result. Bummer! I hate to say it but I might agree to her buying something on-line from one of those 'Chinese' sites.

Don't get me wrong - they aren't all scam sites and Temu is large and reliable but often the model that they use is to promote an item as if it is in their local warehouse, take your money and then place an order to be shipped from China, Vietnam or another Asian country. This causes delay and, except for Temu there is virtually no customer service. The worst is Dick Smith's (owned by Kogan).

We will wait and see.

On the way to and from the Lyall Bay warehouse shopping precinct near the Parrotdog bar that Richard drove us to yesterday I passed the site where Richard DROVE THE WRONG BLOODY WAY DOWN A SECTION OF THE TURNING AREA! I bypassed this and went down the proper lane and, on returning drove the right way ON THE SAME BIT OF ROAD THAT RICHARD DANGEROUSLY, CARELESSLY AND NEGLIGENTLY TOOK A SHORT CUT ON! It was only a matter of mere hours previously that he did this and it could have meant a head on collision between my Toyota Corolla and his Nissan Note. Now I know that the Toyota would have fared better in a collision with the Nissan but I worry about the old guy as he seems to take instructions from his car that are in Japanese. He doesn't speak or understand Japanese. Worse still he answers the female Japanese voice that gives him som kind of instructions. This is a worry.