THE BOY WHO WOULD BE KING

Megalomania is described as a delusional state where a person believes that they are superior to others. They may believe themselves to be a god, a famous person or a gifted athlete. They may feel they have great social, political or other powers. It is generally considered a symptom of other manic or paranoid disorders.
They have:

• Delusional belief of superiority
• Delusions of greatness
• Delusions about one's own power
• Delusions about one's own importance
• They want to be king

Let's look at a living example of a megalomaniac. Fortunately in our blogging community we have at least one to study. The one I choose is Richard (of RBB). Readers of my earlier blog posts will recognise this character as he shot to fame in my feature on Multiple Personality Disorder:

http://grumpyoldmanreturnsnz.blogspot.com/2010/07/is-richard-of-rbb-evil-or-simply.html

Richard of course could provide sufficient research material to fill many text books on disorders but we will limit ourselves here to megalomania.

He started demonstrating symptoms of this disorder at an early age. The children's 'King of the Hill' game was ideally suited to this rascal. Whilst being the second oldest of a family of five brothers he was of sufficient girth to outweigh his older brother and could certainly dominate his younger ones (are you sure there weren't six brothers and he ate one - it certainly looks like he might have? - ed). Living in a hilly part of Wellington in Garden Road easily enabled him to keep his siblings down once he assumed the higher position in the shed (he referred to this as his castle).

At school Richard was not a bully, in fact he defended weaker students from bullies. He of course expected fealty from these weaker students and gathered many around him. This was OK up to a point but the rag-tag bunch of followers did not add much to his mana in the school community. An example is the vassal he recruited who had dropped his cap in the school urinal and then immediately put on his head. The sight of this side-kick (drop-kick? - ed) standing with urine dripping down his neck did not immediately attract new followers.

As he grew older Richard became bolder in his kingdom building plans. At university he formed a club absurdly named The White Sport Coat and Pink Carnation Society, named in honour of Marty Robbins.

Attracting an eclectic bunch of members (you mean weird don't you - ed) Richard set off on a campaign of disruption and annoyance in the university circles. He immediately named himself King which annoyed the other members who believed in a democracy and not a monarchy. Their protestations can be best demonstrated by this excellent out-take from Monty Python's The Holy Grail:

Large Man: Who's that then?

Dead Collector: I dunno. Must be a king.

Large Man: Why?

Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.

---

King Arthur: I am your king.

Peasant Woman: Well, I didn't vote for you.

King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.

Peasant Woman: Well, how'd you become king, then?

[Angelic music plays... ]

King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king.

Dennis the Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Arthur: Be quiet!

Dennis the Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

---

Arthur: [grabs Dennis] Shut up! Will you shut up?!

Dennis: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system!

Arthur: [shakes Dennis] Shut up!

Dennis: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!

Arthur: Bloody Peasant!

The other WSCPCS members however were lazy or otherwise preoccupied and let Richard be 'king'

little suspecting the deep underlying roots to this that were in fact megalomania. Having him as king did have its advantages. These advantages unfortunately didn't attract women to the social gatherings they organised which was in fact what they thought the club was all about. No, the main advantage came at the time of dissolution of the club. The disruption and annoyance programme was having an effect. Ultimately the club came to the notice of the High Heid Yins of the university and was called to a meeting with the Vice Chancellor and his lackeys. The other members suddenly recalled that they had important meetings to attend like Marilyn Waring's lecture on Feminism and its importance in Post Industrial British Society and Richard as King (or as the club charter recorded as President) attended alone. He (the club) was charged with a variety of misdeeds including threatening to burn and torture foreign students. In Richard's defence I would like to say that that was outrageous as to the best of my knowledge some of Richard's best friends were foreign and he only advocated using them for landfill. The outcome was that the WSCPCS was compulsorily disbanded, the first and only club ever to have been so at Victoria University.

Richard, now dethroned, went off to the wilderness (Christchurch and Taumaranui where he unsuccessfully mounted a campaign against the Cosmopolitan Club to let women into the bars - he was lonely and mistakenly assumed that as Taumaranui was in the King Country that he would be more appreciated).

After a few more years of drifting around, writing odd proclamations that he sent to his previous lackeys, vassals, serfs and fellow WSCPCS members Richard discovered the internet. Here was a perfect vehicle to use as an outlet for his ambitions. Blogging was the perfect instrument to broadcast himself with the ability to expand his various delusions into personalities (see Multiple Personality Disorder) which he used to recruit new damaged and needy people around himself. After carefully nurturing these acolytes he began to assert more control over them in subtle ways that become more unsubtle as they were further enmeshed in his web. The most recent example of this is in his bestowment of honours to contributors to his blog world who acquiesced to his belief system. Fortunately some blog members refused to accept his dubious honours and it appears that a revolution is forthcoming. What will happen to Richard if this happens? No doubt he will move on to another fiefdom as it is unlikely that his megalomania will disappear. 

Now they lay his body down

Sad old men who run this town

I still recall the way

He led the charge and saved the day

Blue blood and rain

I can hear the bugle playin'

CHORUS:

We seen the last of Good King Richard

Ring out the past his name lives on

Roll out the bones and raise up your pitcher

Raise up your glass to Good King John

While he plundered far and wide

All his starving children cried

And though we sung his fame

We all went hungry just the same

He meant to shine

To the end of the line