RHUME AT THE INN

Yes, I have a cold.

The Old Girl, poor thing was crook as a dog all weekend and left for the big smoke yesterday in torrential rain. I miss her but she left me a present - her cold. I think that 'cold' sounds a bit wimpy which is why men always say that they have 'flu even when it's not. 'Man Cold' used to get taken with a degree of seriousness until women rumbled it. So, I have a cold. It's coming on real heavy and I know that tomorrow and the next day my eyes will be streaming, my throat will feel like there's broken glass in it and I will be sneezing and snuffling. I'll have to ring in sick for Tuesday and Wednesday as I will be infectious and I have some meetings so it won't be fair to contaminate other people. I'll tell them that I have a 'Rhume' (French for 'Cold') it sounds more serious.

I remember one of the Pink Panther films and Inspector Clouseau (Peter Sellers) asking for a room in his affected, nasal accent. The Swiss hotel desk clerk interpreted him asking if he had a 'rhume' to which he said no - hilarious.