I MUST I MUST I MUST CATCH MY BUS

I started calling Richard's Bass Bag blog the bus station years ago as it had good links to other interesting blogs and saved the hassle of accessing them by other means. I even used to  access my own blogs via this link. Richard himself started to refer to his blog as the bus station.


This was when it was a vital blog and was generating a lot of interest from his friends and colleagues. It hummed.

Now unfortunately it is a derelict version of what it once was with only two old buggers, Robert and me reading his posts and relying on the links service. As Donald would say "SAD"

Anyway, we can't dwell on the past and must move on.

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I'm off to catch a real bus soon as I'm off to Auckland for the weekend. The Old Girl and I are going to listen to Ian Rankin at the Writers and readers festival. This should be good as we've always admired this guy and his novels set in and around Edinburgh (Scotland for any American readers).

I like getting the bus as it gives me a chance to snooze, read a book or listen to an audio book during the 3 hour trip. It takes 2 and a half hours to drive the distance so three hours by bus isn't bad as it includes a comfort stop on the way. The cost of going by bus is also less than the cost of petrol when driving by car so that's a plus as well.

The books I read are those that I download using the free App 'Overdrive' on my iPad. The audio books I download using 'Overdrive' on to my iPhone. These are free and the choices, via Auckland library (or any library you belong to) are pretty extensive.

Bus travelling requires a certain protocol to follow and, sometimes, to by-pass.
I don't have much luggage as all I need is in the apartment in Auckland so just carry a small back-pack with my laptop, phone and iPad. This means that I don't have to line up to put my bag or bags in the luggage compartment. I just wait by the bus door and am generally first on unless I allow and old lady to go first.

Old ladies can be a work of art. Sometimes if you don't let them go first they just barge their way to the front anyway using sharp elbows and umbrella points to clear their way.


Once on board I seek out a seat near the front as, given the windy nature of the road from here to Auckland, sitting at the rear can lead to a bit of road-sickness. I grab a window seat and hope that no-one sits next to me (unless it's a nice woman). To deter people requires adopting a position or attitude that suggests sitting next to me won't be to their liking. You have to allow yourself to claim a bit of the aisle seat - put a newspaper on it, have your phone sitting on it etc. These can easily be removed if someone (especially the aforementioned nice woman) wants the seat but generally is enough to make them seek elsewhere in the second or so as they pass.

I don't as some miserable scrotes do, put my backpack on the other seat or, as a lot of young bastards do, sit in the aisle seat leaving the window seat empty (until the bus gets going). This I think is unfair.




I don't ever recline the seat back. This is totally unnecessary on the short bus trip and I get pissed off when someone in front of me does this. Recently when the Old Girl and I were going from Auckland to up north, before the bus had left a young guy reclined his seat right back in front of the Old Girl. I tapped him on the shoulder and said that I hoped he had no intention of travelling like that. He mumbled that he was just trying it out to see if it worked and then reset it. That was a win.





I bathe or shower everyday and use nice eau de cologne and underarm deodorant. Some people don't do this and, if you are unlucky enough to have one of these in front of you or behind you or worse (if the earlier tactics didn't work) beside you - the trip can be uncomfortable. It's hard breathing through your mouth all the way. I can't understand how inconsiderate some people are.

I put my phone on silent so that it doesn't ring and annoy everyone. If it does vibrate I check who is calling and only if it is really important will answer and quickly complete the call in a low voice. Some idiots conduct loud phone calls of the 'I'm on the bus' variety that can go on for ages. Why do some people think that everyone else wants to know about their pathetic comings and goings?

Anyway, enough moaning - I'd better get organised and into town to catch the bus.