This would be a very special meeting and all staff were invited, not just the managers.
A buzz went through the workplace and small clusters of workers gathered to discuss what the announcement was to be. Doom sayers suggested that the business was to be closed down while the optimists thought it might be news of an expansion. Someone of course alerted the media so that the print, radio and TV news that night and early the next morning was full of speculation of the worst kind.
At the scheduled time, all staff of the organisation were gathered in the cafeteria. There was a clatter of plates, cups and utensils and a noisy hubbub of conversations that gradually hushed when the CEO and her cohorts entered and took up places at the front of the large room.
"Fellow workers" she said, "no doubt you are interested and concerned at what we are going to announce. Please don't be worried as I have good news to tell you"
There was an audible sigh of relief from the assembly as they shifted positions, breathed out noisily, laughed nervously and in one case someone farted loudly.
The CEO continued. "We have just finalised the trading results of the last year and they are very good. Very, very good. In the past when we have had very good results the bonus system for senior executives has been triggered and, depending on salary level and responsibility, the manager could receive a bonus up to 50% of base salary along with parcels of company share options."
There was some muttering from the floor with the odd wry observation.
"This year" said the CEO "we have decided to scrap the senior executive bonus scheme and share options allocation and, instead, have decided to quantify what this might have been and to divide that figure by the entire number of staff equally, at whatever level of employment. The amount you will find in your pay packet this week or your fortnightly salary is significant. Quite significant. Have a nice day all."
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OK, I guess you realise that this is a fable. I mean, a woman CEO!
No, really, this is a fable. I've been the embarrassed recipient of salary bonuses of 50% plus share option parcels at a previous company I worked for. When things went well, the senior executives, already very well rewarded would get further reward. The rest of the company's employees got bugger-all.
Yesterday and the day before I heard of Silver Fern Farms in Ashburton calling a special meeting of all staff. There was a lot of uncertainty and media interest and speculation. As suspected the special announcement was that the company had sustained severe losses and that this particular plant was being closed down with the resultant loss of hundreds of jobs.
I wonder what the senior management got?
2 comments:
Well..... I think that you are being a bit extreme there, and possibly libellous.
To be a manager in any capacity leading to senior executive does require having a bit of nous.
The problem is, in New Zealand and I assume many other countries, people get to manager-level by being good or at least better at their job than those around them.
We promote the good ones.
The thing is though that being good at a job doesn't mean that you are good at managing others to be good at their jobs.
Managers then are not trained or created - they are promoted.
Next step is for the company to spend a lot of money sending these people to to 'management training courses'. These are all shit and are scams created by ex-schoolteachers.
Without being pompous I think that I was a good manager of people. I rejected all the shit I was taught at 'management training courses' and just used common sense and thought about what it was like working at a bottom level and which bosses treated me best. Bruce at Murray Robert's was my mentor (in my mind) even though, strange enough he thought that Richard (of RBB) was a bit of all right.
" .....because of pleasing faces with a hidden psychopathic mind."
That's a bit telling.
I think that you need to do something about that boss of yours.
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