LET'S TALK ABOUT JOKES THIS MORNING

Richard's been banging on about humour recently and has suggested that my puns, witticisms, aphorisms and wry observations might be a little too highbrow for Wellington and in particular The Hutt Valley and Wainuiomata. 

Wainuiomata, it seems, is still into 'dad' jokes and has recently discovered the 'NOT!' jokes.

It's not surprising that Wainuiomata means big water or stream of Mata ('Wai' means water and 'Nui' means big in Te Reo).  A big stream of piss seems appropriate. I don't know who Mata was but what does it matter.

Humour is defined in the Oxford dictionary as:

"... the quality of being amusing or comic, especially as expressed in literature or speech.

"his tales are full of humour""

And in The Cambridge dictionary joke  is defined as:

" ... something, such as a funny story or trick, that is said or done in order to make people laugh".

Obviously in Waiunuiomata, 'Oxford' and 'Cambridge' are only known by the old cars they drive. No doubt Richard will be replacing his big and snazzy Mitsubishi automobile with something from the now defunct Morris or Austin stables.

Robert, who has resurfaced with a new blog - 'the spiritual diary of a sinner ' started off strongly with a Christian joke:

"The devine presence

Jesus is always there. When I say Jesus I'm thinking the Trinity. Jesus, Father and Spirit. That gets hard on the brain, and Jesus is tangible. It's shorthand. Jesus equals and represents the sum of God.

Jesus is always there. Never for a moment does God stop being aware of each part of his creation, including me. I wish that I could say the same in reverse. Ereht syawla si susej. No I mean that I gave Him even a moment of thought. Though I'm sure he's happy when I'm with his mother, praying the rosary.

I think we would be greatly surprised at the graces that would be showered on us for remembering his presence."

That's a cracker - there's nothing like the old classics. This has everything going for it - misspellings, convoluted logic, twisted syntax, clumsy grammar and, of course, utter nonsense. Well done that man.

He followed the opening with this howler:

"I came across Isaiah 65 in someone's profile. It speaks to what I was thinking about today.

“I revealed myself to those who did not ask for me;"

Ha ha - I hope that he doesn't get arrested.

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I removed a Clement Freud joke that I copied and pasted as, when I did a Wikipedia search on him I discovered that (posthumously) he'd been accused of child sexual abuse and rape, a charge that his widow seemed to accept and who apologised to the victims. I detest that sort of things so I won't be 'visiting' old Clement again.

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