SHITS AND GIGGLES

For a while now I've read about Donald Trump's hygiene issues, in particular his rank smell that is said to emanate from the fact that he has bowel problems and regularly shits himself.

The problem is though that the conservative and right leaning news media makes no mention of this and the centrist and even most of the left leaning media don't either. It's the satiric and comedy media that run stories about it and poke fun at Trump.

A Google search uncovers many of these but here's one that nails it:

TRUMP'S BODY ODOUR

Here are some of the best and possibly believable excerpts:

• Leaked private texts from JD Vance reveal him complaining about sitting too close to Trump during meetings because of Trump’s “sauerkraut stench.”
• A Secret Service agent just confirmed that Trump’s codename is “Roast Beef” because agents have to spend so much time in close proximity to his body’s “foul deli odor.”
• Dozens of the attendees crammed in the Capitol Rotunda for Trump’s inauguration speech described Trump’s stench as “nearly unbearable” and “reminiscent of expired roast beef.”
• Trump adviser Kellyanne Conway claims Trump just has “alternative scents.”
• Trump is “poisoning the air of the country” with his stench.
• Trump reportedly hates NATO and wants to pull the US out of the alliance because the prime minister of Belgium told him he needed some deodorant and a mint during a 2017 NATO summit in front of all the other world leaders.
• Trump reportedly has no personal staffers left at the White House residence because they all quit citing his stench as being “much worse now than the first term.”
• One potential juror in Trump’s New York trial was dismissed after she explained to the judge that she had hypersomia, an unusually heightened sense of smell, and Trump’s well-documented stench was wafting over from the defense table making it difficult for her to focus.
• Let’s remember that it’s widely agreed Trump smells like a dying old man whose Big Mac sauce drowned organs are rotting from the inside out.

Now I'd like to believe this and I guess that there may be some truth to some of the things said - the man is old, overweight, unhealthy and has a terrible diet - but surely someone over there has the gumption to report directly to some reliable media or to front up to him directly and say "Mr President, you smell like shit!"