LAZY DAYS

The Bus Station is reprimanding everyone for slackness in posting. What he forgets is that it is the holidays and posting is not the most important thing on the agenda. There are also other reasons: Second Fiddle is busy hanging doors upside down; Man of Errors has lost the ability to type and spell correctly; The Wine Guy is still recovering from Christmas Eve; The Pink Paddler is being winched by helicopter out of flooded South Island rivers; Fflur is probably eating her way through all her baking and can't fit through the kitchen door to get to her computer; TSB is no doubt under a few metres of snow and is suffering withdrawal symptoms from not having naked nubile pictures to download; Nicola is busy rounding up neighbourhood cats and taking them to the knackers yard; Richard's alter egos have hopefully disappeared and I am relaxing and enjoying the break.

ADONIS

I bought a 'wimp shirt' for swimming. This is a tight swimming shirt that helps to keep you warm - ideal for surfing and kayaking. I am a wimp when it comes to getting in the water taking 10 times the time the Old Girl takes to get in. Yesterday, with the shirt on, I walked straight in. The corollary advantage of the shirt is that being tight it holds in all my flabby bits and makes me look like Donatello's David sort of the way I looked 30 years ago. All good as long as I don't breath out too much. Then I have a resemblance to a sausage roll.

HO HO HO..

... he thinks he's talking Indian.
No no no, there's no way we'll let him in...

Merry Christmas.
We woke this morning and opened presents. Nice sensible things except for the fibre optic pohutakawa flower I bought for the Old Girl. I like my Soda Stream machine. I can't wait to try it on Chardonnay.
Kathleen Battle's Grace is playing in the background and there is communal breakfast cooking going on (we have three friends staying). We are all set for a day of preparation for the big dinner (roast ducks and vegetables. trifle, home made plum pudding etc.. with lots of yummy wines. This to be followed by a snooker challenge and maybe a play station Tiger Woods golf challenge. It will be a good day. It is a bit overcast and cool at present but I'm sure that it will warm up. I went for my first swim of the season yesterday - lovely, and will probably have another one today. We may go to Ocean Beach (a magnificent surf beach nearby) and frolic.

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM TSB

TSB on seeing the previous photograph reminisced on his childhood thus:
"I've got pictures of my brother and I taken in Scotland that look frighteningly similar (except I'm much more handsome, but with stick-out ears)"

BROTHERLY LOVE

My sister sent some photographs with the christmas parcel that arrived today. One of them was this one of my brother and I as children. He is the older, taller one. We wore matching outfits. His motif was a dog. Mine was a cat which sort of fitted in our choice of pets. We are standing in Liardet street in Vogeltown outside our house. Today if you tried to do that you'd probably be mown down by traffic. Mum liked this photo (one of a series - subsequent ones showed me sticking that flower up Terry's nose) and said it was good that we got on so well together. She was unaware that at other times he would be chasing me with a stick and I would be hurling rocks at his head. Ahh brothers.

It's Christmas - Music Video

Nicola started it with a superb music video 'Stuck in the smoke hole of my tipi".
Now Second has set a new low with an abysmal Obama Christmas video.
Here is one to make you gag.

Farewell Captain

I learnt via Mad Mike's America that Don Van Vliet aka Captain Beefheart has died. He was 69 and had been suffering from Multiple Sclerosis.

I like his music (Captain Beefheart's Magic Band) with its blend of traditional blues and jazz with quite adventurous stuff. His lyrics most often drifted into the surreal. Its no accident that his best is quite like Frank Zappa's best as they did cross over with Zappa producing some of his recordings. Ry Cooder performed on Safe as Milk and, I think, Mirror Man. Mirror Man is still my favourite. I remember at my flat in Upland Road in Kelburn, Roger turning Mirror Man to maximum on the stereo at 2 in the morning and the upstairs neighbours having to come down in their dressing gowns to politely request " that we turn our jazz down a smidgeon". Terribly polite people these Wellingtonians, at least in the 1970's.

TÂKE Â WAY

We were busy today indoors (thunder and lightning and very heavy rain outside) baking bread, blanching and freezing garden vegetables and generally just mucking about. The Old Girl returned from Auckland yesterday and will not be doing any away trips for a month. She has worked very hard this year and is exhausted so it was no surprise that she fell asleep on the couch. I took a photo of her because she looked so cute but promised her that I wouldn't post it on the blog. She is very photogenic but I respect her privacy. When it came to dinner-time the planned leek/broccoli/cauliflower/spring onion/potato pie (all from the garden) didn't happen and we opted for Billy T James favourite kai from the local. Our local is a place named The Deck in McLeod Bay. It is a cafe/takeaway/dairy on an elevated site with spectacular views across the bay. When The Old Girl suggested fish and chips I was very sceptical. It is not Friday after all. Being Catholic educated the 'fish on Fridays' rule is ingrained and normally the only time that I have fish and chips is on a Friday. As a compromise we had fish burgers and chips. In my 'rules' this is permissible. At this point I should tell you that I drive The Old Girl crazy with my 'rules'. Some things should only be done in a certain way or at a certain time and otherwise should not be done. When it comes to food here are some of my 'rules':

• Marmalade should only ever be spread on toast, never on plain bread
• Poached eggs are a breakfast dish and must never be eaten in the PM
• Breakfast cereals may be eaten in the PM but as a dessert following a 'normal' dinner (note: this does not include porridge which must only be eaten for breakfast)
• Mushrooms must never be eaten but the flavour of mushrooms is permissible in cooking
• Tomato sauce is an OK filling for a sandwich but this must be fresh white bread only (never toast)
• The only permissible fruits in toasted sandwiches are pineapple when combined with cheese and banana when combined with tuna
• Fruit jams are allowable in sandwiches and on fresh bread. Combinations are ill-advised except for Vegemite or Marmite with raspberry jam
• Canned baked beans can be consumed at any time of day but canned spaghetti is not allowed at all
• Mint sauce must be put on roast potatoes but never on boiled, mashed or sautéed potatoes

There are many more 'rules' but I won't bore you with them.

The fish burgers were superb. The Deck use Snapper or Dory as their fish and it is freshly caught. They are traditional enough to offer beetroot in their burgers along with fresh salad vegetables and tartare sauce is an option to tomato sauce. The chips are always beautifully cooked and plentiful. Great.

PLAYING MY GAT

Some bloggers have suggested that Richard's new gypsy look is more like a gangster.
Now we've all seen those images of tommy guns in violin cases.

What sort of weaponry could a gangster carry about in a bass bag then?

RED CROSS PARCELS

Prisoners of war in WW2 must have looked forward to their Red Cross Parcels with longing and excited expectation. In our recently imposed austerity I know how they must have felt. Today The Old Girl's 'red cross parcel' arrived from Scotland. With Christmas cards and presents it also contained Caramac bars, Gold Bars, Thornton toffee and Thornton chocolate truffles. Luxury.