Today we launch a new feature of THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ:
SUNDAY MORNING AT THE CURMUDGEONS INC.
This innovative magazine-style feature will enable the members of THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ to gather in an informal setting and discuss issues of the week. We chose Sunday for a couple of reasons - firstly because Richard's Bass Bagg hasn't had the foresight to chooses Sunday for forum time and also because we know that there's nothing better to do on a Sunday morning than to read THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ blogs (unless you're one of those religious nutters).
Today we've assembled The Curmudgeon (TC), The Curmudgeon Express, (TCE) The Food Curmudgeon (TFC), The Curmudgeon's Agony Aunt TCAA), The Mundane Curmudgeon TMC), The Curmudgeonly Luddite TCL), The Cultured Curmudgeon (TCC), The Religious Curmudgeon (TRC), The Philosophical Curmudgeon (TPC), The Music Curmudgeon, (TMC2) The Darker Curmudgeon (TDC), The Wine Guy (TWG) and Good Kiwi Bloke. (GKB)
We have apologies from The Wine Guy Express, The New Wine Guy, Zweite Geige and Bass's Bag. We were unable to contact The New Different Time Zone Bill but will keep minutes for him.
Thanks to The Food Curmudgeon for supplying the smoked salmon on home made rye bread - very nice. Thanks also to The Wine Guy for the bottles of Deutz Rose - I see that it's going down a treat and hope that a dozen bottles is enough.
Let's get started:
TC: Thanks all for this inaugural SUNDAY MORNING AT THE CURMUDGEONS INC. I'm sure that this will be a very popular monthly gathering.
ALL: Thanks to you TC for your inspiration and guidance.
TC: Aw, gee, shucks - Ta. Now we had news this week from Richard's Bass Bagg that ...
TMC: Richard's Bass Bagg?
TC: Yes, Richard's Bass Bagg - that's what he's calling himself now - I think it's a kick-back to his Welsh heritage or something, you know the double-g thing. It's something that Robert started off with his genealogy schtick.
TMC2: So does he play gguitar now - in GG?
TC: Ha ha, I see what you did there TMC2, very funny but to continue - we had news this week from Richard's Bass Bagg that the Bass Bagging Hexagram has folded. Poor old Richard of the double g is probably feeling a bit down at present so we need to be respectful of him and his situation.
TC: We need to show Richard respect ....
ALL: Hah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ..Whooeeee - ha ha ha ha ha (Great pandemonium and laughter - sparkling wine bottles being opened etc)
TC: Ha, ha ha ha ha ha (wiping tears from eyes) ... yes I thought that would get you.
TDC: I don't want to put a downer on this guys but if The Bass Bagging Hexagram is no longer in existence wh....
TDC: Well get him! I mean it, get him another glass of wine so he'll shut up.
ALL: (General hubbub and attempts to stop TPC from hitting TDC with an empty wine bottle)
TC: Stop it guys, settle down now. TPC, can you please refrain from being pedantic - we leave that sort of thing to Richard's Bass Bagg or even that thing of Robert's. TDC, you raise a good question I ...
GKB: A ggood question?
TC: Thanks GKB, yes let's say a ggood question as it's appropriate. We all need to be concerned at what that crazy old joker will come up with next ....
TCE: You mean Zweite Geige?
TC: No, not Zweite Geige TCE - keep up, I mean Richard of Richard's Bass Bagg. We should keep an eye on him Any ideas?
TCAA: Well in my professional capacity I get some odd letters from ....
ALL: (sniggering and snide comments)
TCAA: Boys, boys,behave yourselves. As I was saying I get some odd letters from people who I suspect are members of or previous members of that Bass Bagging Hexagram. Some of these are quite disturbed and have shown a deep dissatisfaction of that group and have provided some very interesting insights into the mind of Richard
TC: So TCAA what are you suggesting?
TCAA: I think that I can cultivate a relationship with some of the more disturbed members of The Bass Bagging Hexagram and find out more of the workings of that evil empire.
TC: Excellent TCAA. I approve. What do you think guys?
ALL: Great! Go for it. You beauty! Show us your knickers! ... etc.
Most of the wine has been drunk at this stage and things are getting boisterous.
TC: Guys, guys, guys ... settle down. Look I think we'll call it quits for now, We've made some headway - TCAA will explore the minds and working of Richard's new group and report back next month. Keep up the good work and remember - be careful out there!
Meeting closed at 10.40 AM