AIRLINE PRACTICES

I'm flying every month from Whangarei to Wellington and there are a few many things that annoy me.

Just before boarding the overhead announcer usually says something like:

"Passenger seated from rows 18 to 34 can board now"

What they should say is:

"Passengers sitting in window seats anywhere in the plane can board now. Anyone else can bloody well wait until these people are seated in their designated spaces before you rush in and ensconce yourselves in the middle and aisle seats. Use your fucking brains why don't you."

The announcer should also say:

"Passengers with bloody great suitcases that they didn't check in to baggage please bring them over here to this bin where we will gather and dump them somewhere. Use your fucking brains why don't you."

They should also say:

"Passengers should go to the bogs and relieve themselves now before boarding. If they don't do this then remember that it's only a bloody 1 hour flight so if you need a piss just cross your legs rather than clamber over people.  Use your fucking brains why don't you."

And maybe this:

"When disembarking from the plane passengers are advised to sit and wait until the bloody doors are open and to let the people in front of you get out first. Don't all stand up like bloody scarecrows craning over those sensible enough to stay seated. Use your fucking brains why don't you."

I wonder if I should send this to Air New Zealand?