FLUSHING HIM OUT*

 * No, nothing to do with Richard's plumber friend Bagno. He's probably already had to visit Willis Grove and fix the blocked drains.

"I wish Richard would cut back on the coffee he drinks"

Richard's been (big) banging on about how Robert's missing in action and not commenting on his and Bagno's bogs. Poor old guy - he needs the affirmation I guess.

"I need the affirmation"

I thought that I'd throw a bit of blasphemy in the works to get a result. If this Family Guy clip doesn't flush Robert out for an outraged response nothing will.

"ARE YOU DANCING?". "ARE YOU ASKING?" "I'M ASKING." "THEN I'M DANCING."

It's a bit boring here with The Old Girl away in Christchurch. I don't catch up with her until late May.

As well, the weather up here has been atrocious. We had the big cyclone before Easter with poor weather afterwards and then "blow me down" (a little joke for Bagno there) another big storm over the ANZAC 'weekend'. While there was a lot of wind, this storm was mostly very heavy rain that caused flooding around the area.

Of course this has meant that I've been inside most of the time.

Anyway, yesterday afternoon I trawled through Netflix looking for a film to watch to pass the time. I was pleased to find Bertolucci's Last Tango In Paris which I saw when it first came out in the early 1970s. I saw the French version that wasn't dubbed nor had subtitles. It wasn't too much of a stretch at the time as I studied French at university and was quite good at it. 

The Netflix copy I started watching is also in French with no dubbing or subtitles. Nowadays my understanding of French is very limited, not having used it for twenty years. Watching the film is a struggle but, in a way, seeing it as intended does make me take more notice of the settings, film techniques and interaction between the actors. I made my way through about a third of the film and will revisit it over the next week or so. I tried to activate the subtitles function to no avail. I must be doing something wrong.

Last Tango In Paris is a controversial film due to the sex scenes, a theme of suicide and alienation, a rape scene and accusations from Maria Schneider of having been manipulated by Bertolucci and Brando. Brando also was unhappy with Bertolucci's actions and cut off his association with the film for decades.

It is a great film nevertheless - not in my opinion as great as Bertolucci's The Conformist but worthy of being given attention beyond just the sensationalism. Paris in the early 1970s is wonderful (I first experienced it in the early 1980s) and sets the theme of post-modern existential angst very well. It would be existentialism if it weren't so soulless. 

"Existentialisme? C'est moi"

The Conformist used Paris in the late 1930s as a backdrop to dysfunction, fascism and or course conformism. Bertolucci was a master of using places to define attitudes and influences.

I exhorted you readers some time ago to watch The Conformist. I wonder if you ever did? Here's a link: OUT OF SHALLOWS

I hope that I do get through watching the film in French even though I know that I'm missing things in the dialogue and narrative. I'm a lazy bugger though so might end up sorting out the sub-title setting.

Anyway, I 'exhort' you to see this film if you haven't already. It's Marlon Brando at his best. Maria Schneider is a lightweight but Bertolucci got a great performance out of her even if it brought him a lot of grief.

🎵 VALHALLA I'M COMING 🎵

It's good to learn new things.
I didn't know for example that Richard of RBB was a Led Zeppelin fan until he posted this:

My gig at the Tawa library is getting close. Remember that's with my duo Sii Gentile. There is only time for about six tunes as the gig lasts for half an hour. Daryl is on piano and I'm on violin. The tunes I intend to play are Besame Mucho, Oh Lady Be Good, Manha De Carnaval, Sweet Georgia Brown, The Immigrants and The Accordion Lady.

It's good that the old boy is branching out and getting away from that boring old classical-style stuff. The old rockers at the library will be pleased.

Immigrant Song is one of Led Zep's classics. It's built upon a repeating riff and has references to Norse mythology. This I guess explains why Richard bangs on about Thor a lot when He's discussing religious ideology with Robert. 

It'd be great to be a fly on the wall at the Tawa library especially when Richard starts off with with the distinctive, wailing cry - "Aa-ah-aa .." on top of

a repeating, staccato guitar/bass/drum riff which will, I guess, simultaneously be played by Richard's brother Darryl who seems to play about 90 instruments in The Prowse Brothers band. It will be powerful if it comes anywhere near Led Zeppelin's performance. I looked it up out of interest and read that it is performed in the key of  F#minor at a moderate tempo of 112 beats per minute. Cool!

DONNY NO MATES

 

What a pathetic figure Trump showed himself to be at Pope Francis's funeral.

Why the dope was there is anyone's guess. Apparently he earlier spit the dummy when learning that he might have to sit away from the front until some appeaser thought up that seating attendees by the French alphabet spelling would put Etats Unis in the front at about the middle.

Trump sat unhappily and hardly looking at or talking to anyone and very few people acknowledged him. In sharp comparison President Zelensky from Ukraine received a rousing welcome.

The cameras picked up an exchange between Melania and Trump whispering and lip readers interpreted. Trump, having noticed President of France Emmanuel Macron further along the row seemed nervous and repeatedly asked Melania if he should go and talk to him. Melania repeatedly said yes that he should say hello and talk to him. Really, it was like a little boy being told off by his mother. Pathetic!

"SPEAK TO HEEM DONAL"

"BLESSED IS HE WHO HAS NOTHING, FOR HE SHALL NEVER BE DISAPPOINTED" *

* Alexander Pope

Catholics around the world - about 1.3 billion of them apparently, along with others interested in all or some of history, religion, pomp and ceremony, geopolitics or fancy men's dresses -  will be watching the news about Pope Francis's death, funeral and replacement.

"Who will be the new pope and what name will he take" - most of them will be asking.

I favour the idea of Alexander IX as in Alexander Pope (a 3P joke there).

Alexander Pope - May 21, 1688 - May 30, 1744,

We studied his poetry at college with Mr Naylor - An Essay on Criticism, The Rape of the Lock, The Dunciad, An Essay on Man etc.

I imagine that, over at 3G they studied Alexander and the Curly Wurly Caterpillar or something similar.

Alexander was a popular name for a pope as you can see, there were 8 of them.

One of my dad's christian names was Alexander as in Patrick Hector Alexander. He had no ambitions of being a pope though. On his father's side they were Methodists and 'Hector' and 'Alexander' were long established and used family names. His mother's family were Catholic hence the name 'Patrick'.

My mother was Catholic from a long established Catholic family and pushed me and my siblings into being educated in the Catholic faith and attending Catholic schools. She, like Robert, attended Mass every Sunday, invited priests, Monseigneurs and bishops around for tea and took an interest in the Vatican and Popes. Her favorite was Pope John XIII (Angelo Giuseppe Roncall) 1958 to 1963. I don't think she particularly liked Pope Pius XI (Ambrogio Damiano Achille Ratti) 1922 to 1939 but told me off anyway when I said that he was a Nazi sympathiser and pal of Hitler. She'd died by the time that the ex-Nazi Pope Benedict XVI (Joseph Alois Ratzinger) 2005 to 2013 came to power.

So who are the leading contenders to replace Pope Francis (Jorge Mario Bergoglio) 2013 to 2025?

1. Cardinal Matteo Zuppi from Italy. Left of center and a mix between John Paul II and Pope Francis on social issues and moral issues. Probably a good choice but a bit lacking in Vatican political experience.

Zuppi giving the finger to his rivals

2. Cardinal Pietro Parolin from Italy. a centrist and experienced papal administrator.  He’s a diplomat which the cardinals might like but as a diplomat he forged links with Xi Jinping of China of which it's been said it prevented the Vatican from denouncing rights abuses and increasing restrictions on religious freedoms  for Christians in China. He's a tough cookie nevertheless. Robert de Niro could play him in a future movie.

"You lookin' at me?"

3. Cardinal Péter Erdő from Hungary. Conservative and a traditional Catholic when it comes to family, marriage and gay rights. Right of centre and quite different to Pope Francis. No doubt Robert will approve of him. So might Donald Trump (if he lasts) as while Pope Francis called for compassion toward migrants, Erdő is more Eastern European in his attitudes and questions migrants ability to assimilate.

"So which shit-hole of Africa do you come from my son?"

4. Cardinal Luis Antonio Gokim Tagle from Philippines. Dubbed the “Asian Pope Francis” is known as a champion of the poor in the Philippines and has campaigned on many social issues. Apparently he has a good heart and ideals but lacks management acumen and would likely be overridden by the more political cardinals.

"Come on, be nice."

My choice is Cardinal Matteo Zuppi but then I always favour the more humanist leaders like Jacinda Ardern. 

Cardinal Pietro Parolin will probably get the smoke as, like Zuppi, he's Italian but unlike Zuppi he's a bit of a political animal and knows how to play the game.

The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ will keep you informed.

"LET THEM EAT ..."

 Richard announced that Bagno Plumber has been promoted into the Bass Bag Confederation. I guess that's good news.

I asked if there would be a cake ...

... and he cryptically answered:

There was no cake on Robert's post. What's that about?

I guess though, with Bagno being a plumber the cake might be one of these:

Urinal cake

I think I'll stick with the slice of New York cheesecake I bought at the supermarket yesterday.

DAZED AND CONFUSED

A little bird smacked into the bedroom window early this morning. 

I opened the window and looked out. It was dazed - knocked itself out I think and lay on a ledge under the window for a long time.

Later I looked again and it had gone.

I wonder if it's now going about telling its pals that it had died and been resurrected?

Stranger things happen - like the two time zones in Wainuiomata.*

* Previously I thought there was only one - the 1960s.

NEW POST - THE RELIGIOUS CURMUDGEON

 

MORE NONSENSE

WHY RICHARD WOULD NOT BE A CARDINAL - REASON #2

The readership response to the previous post: WHY RICHARD WOULD NOT BE A CARDINAL - REASON #1 was overwhelming so I've decided that there is interest in this becoming a series.

As I mentioned there are many reasons why Richard would not be a cardinal.

Sure, being a priest and typically a bishop first is the usual 'pecking order' but there have been instances where laymen have been cardinals in the past. The selection is entirely up to the pope, and while tradition is his guide, he has the power to make his own decision.

Although a woman has not been appointed a cardinal since the system of electing the pope began around the 12th century, some have suggested it would be possible for the church to name women as cardinals but, let's not drift off into the realms of fantasy here. Richard is not a woman and will never be one. Let's face it, he wouldn't qualify for that position either which could lead to a follow up series - 'Why Richard would not be a woman'. Note: I was given the title of 'honorary woman' by The Old Girl' years ago during our 'honeymoon period' because I was sensitive to her and her friends needs. Later this honorary title was removed because, as she said "you're becoming too blokey matey" but that's another story.

Let's move on to 'Why Richard would not be a cardinal - reason #2

Reason #2: Simony

Vatican vetting uncovered an old post of Richard's on Richard's Bass Bag from a year ago which will work against him. Here is an excerpt from it:

Sunday was always a special day for Richard and he always attended the three Sunday masses at his Wellington church. 7am, 8.30am and 10am. However, today was a special day because he had organised the opening of a church shop.

Richard had always been one of those guys who passed the plate around. He'd suggested to the church committee that, with a small shop, they could make a lot more money.

The conversation went something like this:

Committee member 1: But what would we sell? Altar wine? Things to stop our girls getting pregnant?

Richard: I love you Ted. No, we'd sell things like holy pictures, rosary beads and maybe some plenary indulgences. Flowers could go well too.

Committee member 2: That 'Man' magazine is very popular with the young guys. We'd make quite a few quid if we added some of them.

Richard: I love you Patrick. No. If we promote rosary beads during the sermon, I reckon we'd make a killing. Also, we tell the congregation that wearing a holy picture in your shirt pocket, or inside your blouse, gives you extra protection from Satan.

Committee member 3: I'm with you Richard. Do you love me too?

Richard: Yes Brent, but only if you're not a homosexual.

Committee member 4: I think Father Thomas might be one of those. Have you seen the way he watches the boys when they're changing into their altar boy outfits?

Richard: No Mrs. Walker, Father Thomas is just a paedophile. That's different.

Committee member 5: Do you think your idea of expanding from just selling religious items to  trading in spiritual matters and divine grace is wise Simon ... sorry, Richard?

Richard: Buying or selling spiritual matters, such as church offices, sacred objects, or divine grace, for material gain might be considered a sin Thomas, but Simon Magus, who tried to purchase the power of the Holy Spirit from the Apostle Peter had the right idea. Like Donald Trump in the USA and his move to control the Supreme Court and the Judiciary, Simon's plan to get The Holy Spirit's power was inspired. I think I'll give it a go.

The church shop was quite a success. Richard was a smart guy who just continued to do good things for the church - and of course himself. He was mortgage free and had just purchased a new motor vehicle although he was a bit pissed off that he'd bought it too early. "If I'd known Il Papa was going to pop his clogs I'd have waited" he mused "there'll be a good deal going on that popemobile soon".

 

WHY RICHARD WOULD NOT BE A CARDINAL - REASON #1

It's time for a new series I think.

I'm aware that I've banged on about USA politics recently so I'll give that a miss and concentrate on a theme that is topical and of interest to more than a billion people worldwide.

Hey! We need the followers. 

"Over here guys. Guys!"

Pope Francis - Il Papa - died yesterday and will be missed by over a billion Catholics around the world*. We know that he won't be missed by Donald Trump and his odious collaborators. A later post investigating those people in the death of Francis will be forthcoming but at the moment we will concentrate on the immediate task of electing a new pope. This is a job undertaken by Cardinals who are currently being locked up in the Vatican to get on with the job.

Locking up the cardinals in the Sistine Chapel

Our new series is WHY RICHARD WOULD NOT BE A CARDINAL  and the first in this is one of the reasons. This reason is that being locked up in the Sistine Chapel with 135 other cardinals would not suit our Richard - Richard of RBB.

Do you know why Richard of RBB would not like to be locked up in the Sistine Chapel with over a hundred other cardinals for days, weeks or even months? Here's a clue:

That I think covers reason #1.

Keep posted for the other (many) reasons.

* Including me. Although I'm an atheist. (a humanist really), I was baptised as a Catholic and have had a life-long interest in that religion, the Vatican and elections of popes. Francis was one of the best. I admired him for his courage in standing up to the hierarchy of the Catholic Church and its reactionary, ultra conservative views. I welcomed his liberal (as liberal as a Catholic pope I guess can get) attitudes to gay clergy, LGBQT issues, social inequities, the dangers of ultra right and fascist movements etc.

NOAH WAS NOW 601 YEARS OLD ...

...  On the first day of the new year, ten and a half months after the flood began, the floodwaters had almost dried up from the earth. Noah lifted back the covering of the boat and saw that the surface of the ground was drying.

"What's for bloody lunch?"

I think I know how Noah felt. I feel 601 years old today but at least it's not raining at the moment. I might be able to do some outdoor activity today.

Not golf because apparently the course is sodden although one positive aspect of that is that golf carts are banned until the course dries out. Maybe tomorrow.

I might get a walk in and there are lots of things I need to do around the property like picking up tree debris, fern and flax fronds.

I'll check under the house and hope that there's not too much dampness. Hopefully the new drainage system will have fixed water problems.

I'll reaffix the sheet of trellis to the under deck area that the storm blew down.

The lawn needs mowing but I'll wait until its properly dry before doing that. Ditto for weed spraying as I'm not entirely sure that the rains are finished. I'll do that after Easter.

Busy busy busy. I have no time to go galavanting to restaurants for fancy schmancy lunches like Richard, Shelley and The old Girl today. My lunch will be a sandwich made of the leftover venison sausage and roast potato from last night's dinner.*

* It will be yummy though.

MEA CULPA

Robert delivers a new cross to the Anglican church but now wonders how he's going to get it up on to the wall.

Also, he's not sure if it should have Jesus on it and is worried that he might have fallen off in transport.

Robert: "Oh no! I'm sure he was there when I set off. It must have been that last speed bump I took too fast".

BEEN THERE - NOW BACK AGAIN

"Wellington needs urgent change:"
The Curmudgeon confirms he's coming to town

The Curmudgeon today announced he will return to his home city this year to bring back much needed blogging professionalism.

Statement from The Curmudgeon.

“I’m returning to my home city this year to bring back much needed blogging professionalism. For too long the city has been under-represented by bloggers in terms of interest, readability and of course wit. Wellington needs urgent change and serious leadership. I believe I have the experience and the necessary education to end the chaos on the blogs brought about by a pedantic ex school teacher on the one hand and a delusional Catholic who bizarrely cleans Anglican churches on the other. I was, after all, in 3P class at St Patrick's College Wellington in 1966.

“We all love this city. We’re creative, we’re full of talent, we’re diverse, and we’re a place where people from all walks of life can feel included and make a home. Sorry, in case you were wondering, the 'we' in that statement is The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ the leading blogging incorporation.

“Wellington is the place I chose with my partner The Old Girl to raise merry hell with the other bloggers and there’s nowhere else we would rather be. Well, apart from Paris say, or Rome. Maybe New York City. Oh, and by the way, The Old Girl actually chose to move to Wellington. I just do what I'm told.

“It’s clear to me our city is in trouble. Blogging from Wellington is becoming tedious and confusing. Cuts to logic, common sense and humour have been evident in blog posts from Richard of Richard's Bass Bag and from Roberts's the spiritual diary of a sinner. These are hurting the city's reputation and in a time of crisis they need guidance and a bit of appropriate discipline. They are out of touch with the people they are supposed to serve - the readers who, in the blogging community have already reached single figures.

“Wellington doesn't want regressive posts like violin and double bass practices, Sunday Mass sermon reports, 'what I had for dinner' diatribe, how many times someone used the toilet in the morning and the benefits of posting on Whatsapp and dodgy dating websites. It’s time for new leadership that informs Wellingtonians on the benefits of listing the number of doors and windows a household has, instruction on the best wines to drink on different occasions and interesting interviews with long dead or non-existent personalities.

“I’ve spent my life organising people: - as a prefect and class leader at school and as a sacristan organising communion hosts for priests; as a manager of marketing and sales people; and as a regular tennis player at a local oldies tennis club. As a leading blogger in the community I challenge the other bloggers when their nonsense runs away with them and as a confirmed atheist I have no compunction in telling God, Jesus and The Holy Ghost where to go.

“My focus as the leading blogger in the blogging community in Wellington will be getting the best for Wellington. That means being able to work constructively with the other bloggers once they have been whipped into shape and who will be under my control and guidance until such time as they can prove to be trustworthy. Fortunately for Wellington, the other bloggers in the blogging community currently live outside the intellectual and cultural hub of Wellington city - in Moera and Wainuiomata in fact. I have no plans to effect any changes in this and believe that it is the Hutt Valley's problem.

“My priorities are:


– Fixing the outflow of garbage, verbiage and effluent flowing from those other blogs

– Prioritising more interesting blog layouts and encouraging more use of video clips, images and cartoons in blog posts

– Supporting the development of sophisticated humour and wit in blog posts

– Taking action on limiting the number of posts on music practice, bible and scripture regurgitation and plumbing

– Ensuring there is a sufficient quantity of The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ posts to maintain a firm grip on the blogging community and its future direction.




“I firmly believe that together we can do this. I encourage Wellingtonians to join my campaign by volunteering or donating at www.thecurmudgeonretirementfund.com."

****************************

This post was inspired, assisted and well, basically provided for by Wellington Scoop's April 16 article.

ANDREW LITTLE CONFIRMS HE'S RUNNING FOR MAYOR

BAD FRIDAY?

 I hope that Robert's doing more than thinking of me and is actually saying some prayers for me to his mates up in the sky, particularly The Holy Ghost who, for some reason has it in for me going by this pic of the thunderbolt that woke me up at 12.30AM this morning.

An almighty boom and crash that seemed to last a few seconds woke me from sleep. I was a bit disoriented and wondered what had happened. At first I thought that the big winds had come back and had torn open the basement doors. Then I thought that one of the yachts in the bay had been blown on to the rocks. 

I got up and checked all around the house and could find no evidence of anything that might have made the noise. It was then that I saw some weird lights in the sky - but no thunder and wondered if it had been a thunderclap (not Newman's).

This morning I read on Facebook that others in Whangarei spoke of lightning flashes in the sky with no thunderclaps, weird light formations above the town and distant thunder without lightning. Not the things to be expected in a normal thunderstorm.

Are there any Christian apologists out there who can tell me if this has anything to do with Jesus Christ's Bad Friday?

BUT NOW THE SUN IS RISING CALM AND BRIGHT ...

AFTER THE STORM

 William Wordsworth


There was a roaring in the wind all night;

The rain came heavily and fell in floods;

But now the sun is rising calm and bright;

The birds are singing in the distant woods;

Over his own sweet voice the Stock-dove broods;

The Jay makes answer as the Magpie chatters;

And all the air is filled with pleasant noise of waters.

        etc.

This morning I slept in to just after 7AM.

The previous few nights I've been awake and unable to sleep from 3AM onwards  but now that the wind has dropped I can rest easier.

Although the forecasters thought that Cyclone Tam might be worse than Cyclone Gabriel of two years ago, the Whangarei Heads area seems to have got away unscathed apart from some trees down, power outages, boat groundings etc, certainly not as bad as before.

I cleared debris (tree branches) from around the house and checked for damage. The only significant thing I saw was a trellis panel that encloses the under-deck area has been blown in. I'll fix this when the ground dries out a bit. We might still get rain and thunderstorms today and tomorrow.

I drove around to my sister's holiday house a few bays away (they are in Scotland at present) to check for damage. All was OK which was a relief. After Gabriel the roads were munted and impassable and they lost some really big trees.

On the way back, at Taurikura I saw a lot of cars parked and people on the beach opposite the tennis club. I remembered reading on Neighbourly/Facebook about a dolphin stranding yesterday so stopped and went to see. 

Apparently the dolphin had got into difficulties in the big surf at Ocean Beach and had to be rescued by the Project Jonah people. They brought it around to the sheltered Taurikura Bay and put it there to destress and reorient itself.

It was still there this morning, swimming slowly around and I guess, getting its strength back. I think that it's frightened to go back out into the big water.

There were a lot of Project Jonah volunteers on the beach watching, along with parents and little kids. It was heartwarming to see the care shown to this creature. I took a video which hopefully shows it cruising around.

HELLO. HELLO. HELLO!

 It seems that I'm the only one 'live' in this blogging community and the only one living through a storm of biblical magnitude.

I've just been up on the roof (Richard, don't tell Lynn) checking out a disturbing 'banging' noise in driving rain and cyclonic winds:

"Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks!"
King Lear, Act III, Scene II” 

I'm drenched and am now cooking dinner - early in case the electrickery goes off like what's befalling thousands of other Northlanders- and have poured myself a Scotch and soda (Glenmorangie 18 y.o). Dinner will be a small mince pie, potato and carrot mash and sauteed spinach and silverbeet. As I'll have the 'pie machine' out I'll also make a small peach pie for dessert.

I never satisfactorily located the source of the 'banging' noise but cleared some guttering and drains and think that maybe it's the post holding the shade sail banging against the wooden fence when big gusts come. I hope so. I don't fancy having to get up in the middle of the night to deal with something serious.

MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT A BRICK HOUSE

  It's been blowing a storm all day and the forecast predicts that it will get worse overnight and will be on danger alert tomorrow.

I don't like the sound of "Cyclone Tam is expected to bring the strongest winds since 2017" given that Cyclone Gabriel in 2023 did extensive damage up here, ripping off roofs, uprooting trees and fences and munting the roads and infrastructure in our neighbourhood. 

Last night and today we've already had heavy rain and high winds that have rocked the house. I've 'battened down the hatches' even further today and charged up the torches, filled water containers and made sure that I have a spare gas canister to fuel the stovetop.

I guess that tennis will be out tomorrow but, as I rolled my ankle on Tuesday, that's not a bad thing.

I just hope that the Big Bad Wolf doesn't pick on our house.

NEW POST - THE FOOD CURMUDGEON

 

LESS IS MORE MATEY!

GUESS WHO?

... Yeah, that guy again.

A couple of posts ago I put in a picture of Burton Cummings from the band The Guess Who because I thought it looked a bit like Richard. 

Well, blow me down if I didn't find another one that reminded me of another pic of Richard.

Creepy eh?