"Wellington needs urgent change:"
The Curmudgeon confirms he's coming to town
The Curmudgeon today announced he will return to his home city this year to bring back much needed blogging professionalism.
Statement from The Curmudgeon.
“I’m returning to my home city this year to bring back much needed blogging professionalism. For too long the city has been under-represented by bloggers in terms of interest, readability and of course wit. Wellington needs urgent change and serious leadership. I believe I have the experience and the necessary education to end the chaos on the blogs brought about by a pedantic ex school teacher on the one hand and a delusional Catholic who bizarrely cleans Anglican churches on the other. I was, after all, in 3P class at St Patrick's College Wellington in 1966.
“We all love this city. We’re creative, we’re full of talent, we’re diverse, and we’re a place where people from all walks of life can feel included and make a home. Sorry, in case you were wondering, the 'we' in that statement is The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ the leading blogging incorporation.
“Wellington is the place I chose with my partner The Old Girl to raise merry hell with the other bloggers and there’s nowhere else we would rather be. Well, apart from Paris say, or Rome. Maybe New York City. Oh, and by the way, The Old Girl actually chose to move to Wellington. I just do what I'm told.
“It’s clear to me our city is in trouble. Blogging from Wellington is becoming tedious and confusing. Cuts to logic, common sense and humour have been evident in blog posts from Richard of Richard's Bass Bag and from Roberts's the spiritual diary of a sinner. These are hurting the city's reputation and in a time of crisis they need guidance and a bit of appropriate discipline. They are out of touch with the people they are supposed to serve - the readers who, in the blogging community have already reached single figures.
“Wellington doesn't want regressive posts like violin and double bass practices, Sunday Mass sermon reports, 'what I had for dinner' diatribe, how many times someone used the toilet in the morning and the benefits of posting on Whatsapp and dodgy dating websites. It’s time for new leadership that informs Wellingtonians on the benefits of listing the number of doors and windows a household has, instruction on the best wines to drink on different occasions and interesting interviews with long dead or non-existent personalities.
“I’ve spent my life organising people: - as a prefect and class leader at school and as a sacristan organising communion hosts for priests; as a manager of marketing and sales people; and as a regular tennis player at a local oldies tennis club. As a leading blogger in the community I challenge the other bloggers when their nonsense runs away with them and as a confirmed atheist I have no compunction in telling God, Jesus and The Holy Ghost where to go.
“My focus as the leading blogger in the blogging community in Wellington will be getting the best for Wellington. That means being able to work constructively with the other bloggers once they have been whipped into shape and who will be under my control and guidance until such time as they can prove to be trustworthy. Fortunately for Wellington, the other bloggers in the blogging community currently live outside the intellectual and cultural hub of Wellington city - in Moera and Wainuiomata in fact. I have no plans to effect any changes in this and believe that it is the Hutt Valley's problem.
“My priorities are:
– Fixing the outflow of garbage, verbiage and effluent flowing from those other blogs
– Prioritising more interesting blog layouts and encouraging more use of video clips, images and cartoons in blog posts
– Supporting the development of sophisticated humour and wit in blog posts
– Taking action on limiting the number of posts on music practice, bible and scripture regurgitation and plumbing
– Ensuring there is a sufficient quantity of The Curmudgeons Inc.ⓒ posts to maintain a firm grip on the blogging community and its future direction.
“I firmly believe that together we can do this. I encourage Wellingtonians to join my campaign by
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This post was inspired, assisted and well, basically provided for by Wellington Scoop's April 16 article.
4 comments:
Parli merda!
Okay, nothing has changed.
THANK YOU.
Was that rude or complimentary? It reminds me of one of my classmates at St Annes's in the 1950s - Pauli Murdia. He was a mate of mine and a good guy - but tough. Hey! You don't think ...
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