"Hi TC. I don't know if you noticed but I came around this morning and finished off the weeding.
I have to start just before sunrise as it gets too hot now.
I apologise for not getting back sooner but I had the strangest experience. Some little time travelling scrote has been hanging around bothering me.
He said that he was checking up on me for his old boss for some reason. Sounded weird so I gave him an elbow to the adam's apple. He didn't say much after that - actually, he couldn't speak for a while. He kept coming back on progressively earlier days so that he could speak. I got sick of this so gave him a classic kick in the knee which shattered the joint. I gave him a kick in the nuts as well so that if he wants any children he'll have to do the deed before 2017. Ha ha. I don't expect to see the little shit anytime from now onwards. He'll have to visit me pre-2017 if he wants to walk about and say something.
I'll be ready for him.