Friday, 29 December 2017

THE CURMUDGEON DODGES A BULLET

Yes dear readers, your Curmudgeon had a narrow escape while on holiday in Napier at Christmas.
The Curmudgeon and The Old Girl stayed with The Old Girl's cousin in Chaucer Road on Hospital Hill.



Unknown to The Curmudgeon a crazed gunman was having a shootout with police in this very same street and bullets were flying everywhere. The gunman shot one policeman dead, wounded others and finally shot himself after firing away at neighbouring houses.




THE STORY

The house we were staying in is in the same road and in the same gulley as the gunman's house. I noticed when swimming in the pool that a concrete pool-fence tile had been shattered BY A BULLET!

Let's look at the evidence.


This is the pool that your brave Curmudgeon was swimming in. He reportedly* would dive in like a knife slicing through soft butter, making barely a ripple and awarded himself scores of 9, 9.5, 9.8 out of ten (* The Curmudgeon made these reports to The Old Girl who was indoors at the time. She said "Yes, I heard you. Is there any water left in the pool?").



This is the concrete tile fence surrounding the pool. While scything through the water The Curmudgeon noticed the damage to one of the blocks.



Here is a closer look. Note the gulley behind the washing line THE VERY SAME WASHING LINE THAT THE CURMUDGEON HUNG CLOTHES ON EARLIER (a post with selfies will show this later).



Here is a close-up of the broken tile. The more observant reader will notice the bullet mark on the piece of concrete at the left. This obviously shattered the tile and either deflected or disintegrated the bullet. Forensic investigation was not possible as neither the bullet or fragments were found at the scene.



Somewhere down this gulley lurked a crazed gunman who fired shots, dangerous shots at neighbouring houses. The Curmudgeon was (recently) in one of those houses.


EPILOGUE

We at CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ think nothing of putting ourselves in danger to bring our readers exciting and interesting stories. This story involved diving, swimming and floating in water. DEEP WATER. It also involved firearms and bullets. FLYING BULLETS. The events in this story took place at Christmas 2017. If it had taken place in May 2009 your dedicated reporter The Curmudgeon MIGHT HAVE BEEN DAMAGED.

Think about that next time you waste your time reading one of the Bass Buggers Confederation posts.


1 comment:

Richard (of RBB) said...

Yawn. What? Sorry I fell asleep. Hope you had a good time in Napier. Zzzzzzzzzz oops, sorry, did you say something else?

MAYBE I REALLY AM GOING CRAZY ..........

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