CATHARSIS

(Or,  - tears rain down on me)

I had a sad day today.

I apologise if, in the following, I seem to be self-indulgent but in what's becoming the vernacular - It is what it is.

I play tennis - weather, travel and bodily ailments permitting - at our local club on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. There is a nice bunch of people in the club with most, believe it or not, being even older than me. This morning, as I set my alarm at 7.20, I awoke to make a cup of tea and to take it back to bed to read the latest news on my iPad - when the siren from the local fire brigade sounded. "Oh no" I thought, "I hope it's not serious".

I headed off to tennis at 8.30 and a member said that the fire brigade wagon had set off to B's place (another member). B, aged about 80 is a really nice chap - educated, experienced, travelled and with the enquiring mind of a schoolteacher and a nice playing partner and conversationalist between games, is one of those people who make going to play tennis worthwhile. As events unfolded - the fire brigade followed by St John Ambulance etc. it became apparent that it was the worst scenario. B had died. I had played tennis with him on Tuesday - two days before.

Later in the day I was told of the circumstances - B had dropped to the floor (dead?)  just before 7.30 while dressing for tennis and while his tennis partner wife K was preparing breakfast. He was pronounced dead at 8.45 after the ambulance crew had arrived but it was probably earlier than this.

B had gone in the way that many of us wish to go. Quick, efficiently and without lingering stays in hospitals or hospices. Nevertheless, today I felt bereft. B's going affected me greatly and I felt devastated during the day. Why? Apart from playing the odd game of tennis with him and the occasional chat I hardly know (knew) him.  I've thought about this and the feelings I have are greater than when closer people have died including my brother. Why is this? Is it because I've (as is usual with me) bottled up the feelings? Maybe.

Anyway - it's catharsis.

Tonight when, in our daily Facetime call, I told The Old Girl about this she was wonderfully understanding. She had had a tough and challenging day at work but instantly knew what I was talking about. That's what a good relationship is all about and I'm really happy to know that our best friends have the same. We must have done something right.

After the call a song came into my mind - one of the greats. It was Neil Finn's Crowded House song 'Fall at your Feet'.

I think it was really apt.

FALL AT YOUR FEET - ACOUSTIC