I played golf today in a mini tournament. This is a weekly event named the LOB's. Some say it stands for the Lovely Old Blokes. Others say it stands for Lazy Old Bastards. No doubt Richard (of RBB) can come up with another meaning for the acronym. I played some good golf, some ordinary golf and some very crappy golf. The overall score was way higher than the scores that I know I am capable of when I go out on my own and play 8 or 9 holes. Golf is funny that way. I played in this tournament as I wanted to officially register an 18-round card so that I can get my handicap down. Although I didn't play as well as I wanted to I should still bring the handicap down by about 8 points. On the round, on the 17th hole we were attacked by a pair of nesting birds. I don't know what they were (someone said that it is an Australian bird). It was amazing how they dived like Magpies do, zooming straight at us and veering away at the last moment. They were very brave. while trying to hit our balls and ignoring them, unfortunately one of my fellow players hit one of the birds in mid-flight with his golf ball. Thwack! The bird dropped to the ground with a thump. It was dazed and waddled off back into the swampy grass area where I assume the nest is. I hope it is OK but a hit like that can break a wing. The hit was way against the odds and I'd never seen that happen before. Poor bird.
4 comments:
OK, Lets get the LOBs out of the way:
Lonely Old Buggers
Looney Old Bigots
Lascivious Old Bisexuals
Lascivious Old Bores
Limp Old Bird-haters
That'll do for a start.
At least when you managed to "accidentally"hit the innocent little birdie, when all it was trying to do was to protect its innocent young from these Lumbering Overweight Bird-Murderers.
I hope you feel really guilty. Second is going to tell you off for attempting to murder one of God's innocent creatures.
Sorry,
it should have been Loquacious Old Bores
"Not a even a bird falls from the sky without my Father knowing. Even the hairs in your head are counted."
Jesus makes his thoughts on golfers quite clear by this remark.
What a bunch of selfish old pricks! Imagine the mummy bird trying to explain to the little chicks that daddy won't be coming home. And all because some Lazy Old Bores want to hit a hard little ball around. Take it from me that Jesus is not pleased.
Though he still loves you. Jesus is like that, he can be really pissed off but still love you.
Alf, the old guy who hit the bird was devastated. He recounted how only that morning he had rescued a sparrow from his cat. We couldn't find the injured bird and if we had I would have taken it to the bird rescue centre here in Whangarei. LOB's = Lachrymal Overwhelmed Birdlovers.
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