Is my house haunted? Last night at 4AM (I know TSB, I know, you'll say that that is the time that you now have to get up) there was a knocking sound like someone rapping heavily on the door. I got up (in the dark, pulled on some pants (yes Richard, pants) and checked the doors in case it was a neighbour in distress. Nothing. I checked the windows and went out and checked around the house. Still nothing. Living in the country where it is very quiet you can hear noises from quite a way. I couldn't hear anyone (especially no P-fuelled gang members) so went back to bed. The cat was in the hallway. I'm not sure whether the noise (if there was one) or my walking around woke her up.
Have you ever noticed how cats have a disturbing habit, when you pick them up, to look over your shoulder with wide eyes and an alarmed expression! They are definitely not recommended as pets for people of a nervous disposition. I went back to bed and had difficulty getting to sleep again. Just as I was, the outside security lights went on. I went through the same routine. Nothing. Now this wouldn't really bother me except that it happened before, a couple of months ago at the same time 4AM.
It reminds me of a Sopranos episode when Paulie Walnuts kept waking at 3AM or something - the time of morning that he had murdered someone.
I don't really believe in the occult but, as I have had an odd experience before in an old house I was living in, I don't entirely rule it out. I do believe in 'Feyness' and my family (on my father's side West Scotland and mother's side Ireland, have many times demonstrated this. But then again it could be a warning from Robert's good mates God and Jesus to pull my head in as I've been a bit rude about them recently.
10 comments:
I'm not laughing. Remember that house I had in Beaumont Ave? To be honest I had a similar thing at 13 Best street in Nouva Lazio.
When I have this type of thing, real or imagined, I say a prayer something like .." Dear Jesus, come into my house and fill it with your presence. I believe you are the Son of God. I believe in you".
Believe me non-thinker, if it was Jesus knocking at my door, after what I have said about him (her/it), inviting him in would be the last thing I'd do (unfortunate expression that in the circumstances).
Jesus gave up his life to die a terrible death on the cross for us. Do you really believe he wouldn't give you a second chance. Pun unintended.
Crap!
On 'second' thought, if Jesus comes knocking at my door tonight I'll turn the hose on him (her/it).
You have good reason to be a little unsettled, check out the old testament and how The Almighty delt with people who pissed him around.
Have you considered offering some sort of sacrifice. Sacrifices have achieved good results in the past. Do you have a sheep that you could possibly slaughter? Possibly a troublesome neighbour?
God, particularly in his old testament form, loves a sacrifice, but I could be wrong.
Another option is that it could be the wind. Well, you do seem to be a bit preoccupied with farting lately.
Crivvens,
you lot are worse than a bunch of old squabbling women.
Coincidence, Yes.
Creaking homes (especially in NZ, with wooden walls, winds and earthquakes), Yes
Possums jumping on the roof, Yes
Thermal contaction, plumbing air bubbles, sonic booms from sratospheric meteoroids, non-lightining thunder, guilty consciences, late-night cheese snack, late night red wine imbibing, Yes.
Ghosts, No.
Divine visitation, No.
"Another option is that it could be the wind. Well, you do seem to be a bit preoccupied with farting lately."
I think that Second hit it on the head, or on the spincter, or whatever.
"Do you have a sheep that you could possibly slaughter"
This is New Zealand for goodness sake, of course he's got a bloody sheep.
All he has to do is to go out his back door and make a noise like an Australian, and hundreds of love-sick ewes will come running, dags clattering.
Sacrificing a sheep won't do any good though, The Curmudgeon would be better investing in a rifle, which can be used to shoot the rats or possums which are setting of his security lights, and will also be useful in protecting his family and his property when the race riots instigated by that bastion of common-sense and fair play Hone Harawira come flooding out of the North.
What's all this clap trap Curmudgeon?
Get yeself a bloody shot gun and fire randomly into the night next time it happens. I bet you won't be having any more 'ghosts' after that.
"Get yeself a bloody shot gun and fire randomly into the night next time it happens."
This method may remove ghosts etc. It may also inadvertently remove neighbours. This is not normally a good idea, and is frowned on.
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