Years ago when I attended the wedding of one of The Old Girl's cousins in Aberdeen I discovered the Scots dialect that TSB called Lallans. I think he's wrong though and it is Gobbldygook exacerbated by whisky. After being seated at table The Old Girl, her mother and it seems all the family made a headlong rush to be anywhere except next to me and....Uncle Billy. They left me alone with said uncle for what seemed like hours. I've mentioned this before I know but it was excruciating. I couldn't understand a word of what he was saying. He may well have been speaking Ennuit for all I know. He was like McBlane, the indecipherable Scots cook in The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin. His "splatchett ye cratcers bliggett mair fee bra noos' elicited yes or no responses from me, obviously in the wrong places as he would stop blathering and look at me strangely every now and then.
I endured this soberly for some time until The Old Girl returned with a glass of watery beer (even Sweetheart stout would have been better). We hadn't been aware of that old Scottish tradition of having a wedding, getting family and friends to fly all around the world to attend without telling them that it is a cash bar only. We came along with the wedding present but no money except for the taxi so it was a bit of a dry argument. We should have cashed in the bloody present.
Anyway poor old Uncle Billy has gone on to a better place now (where? Nuova Lazio?- ed).
7 comments:
Do we have the same Uncle?
Welcome back Robert.
I've been away for a few days and away from a computer. Boy, does all hell break loose when one does that. On trying to catch up I noticed that you:
1. Disappeared
2. Reincarnated
3. Disappeared again and,
4. Have come back again.
Its just like the Old Testament (forget about the New Testament - that's all derivative).
" in Aberdeen I discovered the Scots dialect that TSB called Lallans"
Glad you experienced a Scottish wedding. The dialect in the Aberdeen area is particularly obtuse, even to other Scots. It's called Doric, and contains words and accents more akin to German and Norwegian. I worked for a Swedish company, which had its UK operation based in Aberdeen, so I had to go up there on a regular and frequent basis. I often wished I had an interpreter, as some of the locals who worked there were completely impossible to understand.
I know how you fell about Uncle Billy.
As regards the cash bar, that is very unusual.
Most Scottish weddings start with one free drink, and then it goes onto a cash bar.
As regards the beer, don't forget you're in whisky country. Beer is drunk, but normally whisky is preferred, so the beer's mostly rubbish.
God wrote the new testament to tidy up the old.
Are youquestioning his wisdom?
In that case I'd be questioning his editing skills. He's out of tune with his market too. There should have been more pictures.
I liked the picture of the last supper. It looked like they were having a good time, until that guy came along with a theory about a code and one apostle turned out to be a lady.
No, John was just gay (don't tell Robert).
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