SOMETHING NEW

I'm back again from the big smoke. I see that Richard has wandered off into cosmic thinking again, TSB seems to be following and Second has disappeared again.

SOMETHING OLD

Enough said

SOMETHING BLUE

TSB has brought some zest to the blogging community. He has also brought some salaciousness and some knee-crossing images

SOMETHING BORROWED

My connection to the internet was having problems!

Sorry to all those thousands of people who missed out on my morning post - I was actually on the job at 5.30am this morning, just to bring you my latest thoughts, but to no avail. What did you all do to fill in the extra time you suddenly had? Please leave a comment to tell me what you did.

Sorry again, needy readers.

OK. It was that silly old bugger Richard (of RBB) that penned this, but it seemed appropriate as I have been having similar problems. We pay bloody good money (in fact too much) for a second rate broadband service. Not second rate by choice as we pay top dollar but the system becomes bewilderingly slow some times to the point where you feel like smashing the bloody computer (overreaction I know but you know what I mean). Earlier I wrote what was probably the best post on any blog ever. The bloody connection stalled and when I re-booted that gloriously erudite epistle had disappeared into the ether never to be seen again (you poor readers). Never mind, with luck something will upset me again soon and I will share it with you.

WHAT IF?

If we believed Second's clap-trap that humanity stemmed from Adam and Eve, if Adam was gay then we wouldn't exist n'est ce pas?

SERENITY

The Hub has chastised me for not updating the blog.
After a week or more of atrocious weather today has started out lovely to coincide with daylight saving. Blue skies, warm sunshine, no wind and a flat calm harbour. Just right for....Play Station 3 Medal Of Honour 3 - Airborne Invasion!

Or, kayaking.
I chose the kayaking option as I don't know how long the good weather will last. There's nothing like gently paddling out into the blue leaving your troubles behind you.

BLOW WIND AND CRACK YOUR CHEEKS..

.... rage! blow! You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout. Till you have drenched our steeples, drowned the cocks .

Bloody horrible weather we are having up here. It has been a week now of strong winds and intermittent rain showers (hail yesterday). This is nearly as bad as Wellington's weather. I remember winter days delivering newspapers after school that were like this. Bastard. The 'winterless North' is not supposed to be like this. This sort of weather should rightfully be somewhere else (Nuova Lazio deserves it - ed.). My newly planted herbs and vegetables are getting a battering; I can't take the garden rubbish to the rubbish tip; the cat is acting strangely; I can't play golf; I'm going stir-crazy. All this and I can't harangue Richard (of RBB) because his postal service seems to have been discontinued. Bugger!

PARONOMASIA

DIRTY FINGERS

Its great having the Old Girl home for a full weekend. She is often away during the week which sometimes rolls over to the weekend. The trouble though is that she gets these ideas of doing things around the house and it invariably involves me. This weekend it was gardening which really meant weeding. I filled up the covered trailer with vegetation which I'll have to take to the tip during the week. We have had gale force winds this weekend so I have to wait until the wind drops. What is it about weeds? They bloody grow wherever they like and are big and healthy. When I try and grow herbs, flowers or vegetables they never look as good as the weeds. Bastards!

STORMY WEATHER

Ethel Waters

"Don't know why, there's no sun up in the sky
Stormy weather..."

We didn't get the worst of the storm that has battered the country but yesterday, last night and today it has been pretty windy. Last night, as the wind shook the house I was reminded of a couple of months ago when one of our neighbours lost their roof (we still have some of their furniture stored in one of our spare bedrooms). I was thinking (not praying Second), "please don't lift the roof". Fortunately we suffered no damage. The storm delivered some welcome seaweed on the shore across the road which I collected and put on the garden. The recent Christchurch earthquake and this major storm reminds me of how vulnerable we are to the forces of nature. In times of crisis often people show their best sides and band together to help others. It has been reported from Nuova Lazio that the severe thunderstorm yesterday rendered high school students insensible and sent them back to primeval states. It would be nice to think that if a fireball hit the school that they would have helped each other. Wishful thinking? Probably. Today's newspapers carried the stories of how despicable some people in this country behave - a cat left inside a cardboard box on a motorway - some scrotes shining laser beams into the eyes of oncoming drivers on another motorway (hey!. Those scrotes got chased by the police and two of them are now dead. Second, maybe there is 'divine' justice after all).

GOSH

Pity it didn't happen to the very annoying singer.

FOUND IT! ALLA FINE DEL MONDO

Music Room at Nuova Lazio

BLESS THEM

Some teachers will go to any lengths to further the wage claims dispute on strike day.

Lunching

Watching movies

Shopping in music stores

Sleeping in

Bless them.

THE GREAT TOUR

Where would you go to visit given half the chance?

ULURU
"A Stunning landscape" - TSB

ANGKOR WAT
"Breathtaking" - Nicola

TAJ MAHAL
"It excites me for some reason" - Fflur

SPYNX AND GREAT PYRAMID
"I'd bid for it on Trade Me but it looks damaged" 2nd Fiddle

CUBA STREET
"Good place for a latte and music shops" Richard (of RBB)

ALLA FINE DEL MONDO

Richard (of RBB) has been worrying lately. It seems that his school is about to appoint a new Principal and he is concerned that this person might actually want to know where the music department is.

Up until now Richard (of RBB) has managed to keep his head down running his own little department, not making waves and anonymously sidling into the staff room for a free cup of hot water. He is lucky that his department is "alla fine del mondo" - at the end of the world. Some wit said it was the arsehole at the end of the universe - but I'm not one to judge.

Principal looking for the Music Department

If and when the new Principal is appointed, this person might actually go searching after looking at the out-goings and noticing an exorbitant amount of salary going out monthly to someone he never knew existed. If and when he finds him he may wish to document the find in a graphical format.

99% FAT FREE

The Old Girl  asked me to check out Ab Circle Pro on the web. I did so and noticed there are a few for sale on Trade Me. They are very expensive so I wondered how they were reviewed. Every site I checked (that wasn't controlled by Ab Circle Pro basically said that sitting on the floor and doing crunches would cost nothing and have the same effect. We all want quick fix solutions to life's little problems and exercise and weight loss is a gold mine for all of the scam artist out there.

Before

After

Ab Circle Pro advertises a free 30 day trial if you pay an instalment and get sent a machine. If you don't like it you can return in 30 days. What they don't tell you is that you pay for the freight both ways which is more than the instalment. If you don't return it within the time period you get billed monthly until its paid (not sure how much but probably over $400).

..AND THANKS FOR ALL THE FISH.

Simple pleasures. We were watching Dolphins from the kitchen window this morning. There were making their way across the bay in an unhurried way, taking time to leap about a bit. Its magical to watch them swimming and leaping out of the water in a synchronised fashion.

All About Eve - She Moves Through The Fair

I was listening to this song this morning while looking at Mount Manaia which was covered in mist. Always mystical the 'misty mountain' and music combined to create an ethereal effect. I've always liked this traditional song and have heard good versions by Sinead O'Connor and Loreena McKennit but Julianne Regan's version sends shivers down my spine.

CALLING ALL INVENTORS!

I've spent all morning cleaning the house and other chores. The Old Girl has been away for a week and is coming home today. I've done washing, vacuumed, cleaned bathrooms and kitchen floors, cleaned windows, dusted and generally made the house tidier. It probably won't pass inspection but hey, I've made the effort. It has got me thinking though. If man's efforts at house cleaning don't measure up to women's expectations anyway, why not just do the cursory 'man-thing' any way - a quick whip around with a broom, desultory swish of the toilets and maybe move some furniture about? The answer is in the smell. Things have to smell like they have been cleaned. This cannot be accomplished by spraying some air freshener about although buying fresh flowers and putting them in vases about the house scores points. No, what is needed is a spray that gives the impression that toilets have been bleached, basins and baths have been scoured, surfaces have been wiped, wood polished and floors washed and vacuumed. Inventors?

CIRCLE YOU VULTURES

There will be a lot of opportunism following the Christchurch earthquake. One today on the news is the report that insurance premiums will increase as a result. Correct me if I'm wrong but surely the insurance premiums collected up until the earthquake were to cover the costs of damage. If not what are the premiums for? We should not put up with this attitude from the major insurance companies. Their arguments defy logic.

SORRY,BUT

I know that I give Second a hard time about his religious beliefs and I know that people have their right to believe in whatever they want but... religious people seem to think that they have to re-educate everyone else. They have a firm belief that they are right and everyone else is wrong. This wouldn't be so bad if it was based on any firm evidence but its not. The belief is based on mumbo jumbo jottings by probably nutters who would be diagnosed today with having mental disorders. The visions of prophets were most likely schizophrenic and paranoiac delusions. The whole house of cards is 'legitimised' by the fact that the writings are old. If we were to take that logic into other areas modern medicine would be still using Greys Anatomy, the maritime industry would have maps showing a flat earth with dragons lurking at the edges and the airline industry would be using the Wright Brothers' technical manuals for fixing planes. The most annoying facet of this at the moment is the crap written by people on news sites covering the Christchurch earthquake. "It is God's will" and "God was merciful in that no one died" rubbish beggars belief. Do these people ever sit back and analyse what they write and say? If their god was so merciful why did he send the bloody earthquake in the first place.? I know, I know. The answer will be something like "He is testing us" or some such crap. You can't win in any sort of logical argument with illogical people. I just wish that they would keep it to themselves.

FOR CHRIST'S SAKE

Is there a genetic disorder in Richard (of RBB)'s family that produces fleeting multi-personality disorders?

Maori Jesus

Aquatic Jesus?

Pissed Off Jesus

Original Jesus

We have had asylum loads of them so far this year and the latest onslaught is a mutant Jesus cult.

Jesus the Kid

Jeshua

Deputy Jesus

What next?

G.I. Jesus?

Scottish Jesus?

Concert Jesus?

NO GO(D)

A worker in Christchurch obviously doesn't believe in God and is spraypainting the city to let others know.
He can't spell 'God' though but never mind, as he doesn't exist, 'He' won't mind.

SOMETIMES PROCRASTINATION HAS ITS REWARDS

The Old Girl has been suggesting, for several weeks, that I get some more wood in. I'd been putting it off a bit, not being able to find a suitable supplier nearby. Today I attended the charity auction for the project I have been working on. I didn't win any bids but did win the raffle - for a truckload of firewood delivered. Perfect, and only five bucks.

Romance With A Double Bass (1974) clip

I love the comment "Musicians are to be heard not seen"
and the retort "Brahm's father played the double bass"

TGIF

At the Bay we have a local cafe that does the most amazing fish and chips. They use fresh fish caught in the Heads area and it is usually Snapper or Dory. Tonight we had battered Dory and it was perfectly up to standard. Scrumptious. The Old Girl, even though she was brought up as as a Scottish Pressbutton and not educated in Friday night fish eating like us Catholics, enjoyed it too.

COMPENSATIONS

Getting up early this morning did have its compensations. On the way back from the airport I stopped off at the golf course and played 9 holes. As it was not yet 6.30 I was the first one on the course. This is neat because the dew on the greens show the track of the ball when you putt - there being no other marks or footprints. What there was though was duck prints. A family of ducks and ducklings were waddling over one of the greens. This was a great sight and it was really cute seeing the parent ducks web prints followed by about 8 little web prints.

It was a stunning morning, a bit overcast but there was an amazing pink dawn. The harbour was all pink from the sky and the dew on the greens and fairways twinkled pinkly. (Pink Paddler would have approved). The setting somehow enhanced my golf as I played my best 9 holes ever. I had finished well before 8 O'clock and drove home in the opposite direction of all those going to work. Not working also has its compensations.

WAKE UP!

Nothing sensible to say at tis time of the morning really. I just wanted to be the first post in this little blogging world. I have to take the Old Girl to the airport this morning so why should I be the only one up at this godawful hour.
(Image is for Second).