CROCK OF SHIT

I used to dine out at fancy restaurants in New Zealand and around the world.

Most times it was work related - either entertaining customers and clients or being entertained by suppliers and consultants.

A lot of the time it was about currying favour with wine writers and Industry opinion makers.

The rest was The Old Girl and I privately going out to nice restaurants because that was part of our lifestyle.

Nowadays I don't have the relatively high position in the industry that required me to 'entertain' or be 'entertained' and certainly don't have the income to privately finance going out to the flash places.

Am I bovvered?

Frankly no. I can't be bothered. It's all a crock of shit.

I've wasted so many of my life's valuable hours sitting in over-priced, over-decorated and over-produced eating establishments eating stuff that I really didn't like and drinking ridiculously expensive plonk. To cap it off, particularly in overseas restaurants all of this is accompanied by a cluster of fawning service people: the guy who opens the door; the guy who greets you in the entrance; the table master who escorts you to a table; the food waiter; the wine waiter; the person who brings the meals; the person who clears away the plates; the reappearance of the food and wine waiters; and lastly, the farewell by the ponce who greeted you at the door. All these want a share of the expected high tip.

Basically one person could have done the whole bloody lot.

I prefer simple cafes that offer selections of 'small plates' or tapas-style food. A selection of different and interesting dishes served up in sensibly small portions. And, affordable.

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This is why I was interested reading about the story of a cheap and cheerful restaurant in France that was mistakenly awarded a a Michelin star (Michelin stars are like Oscars in the restaurant world and are fiercely fought over and the attribution of one can elevate an eating place into a very sought out venue with the accompanying increased business and profit).

Guide Michelin France in its 2017 publication mistook the Bouche à Oreille (Word of Mouth) in Bourges, a provincial cafe that caters to locals with simple and nutritious meals for about €12.50 with a glass of wine for the fancy-pants and overpriced Bouche à Oreille 180km north, in Boutervilliers near Paris, with carpeted floors, linen tablecloths and dishes including lobster flan, calf’s brain, and a crunchy pear and chocolate, complete with champagne, for at least €48. They gave the coveted Michelin star to the cafe in Bourges.

Bouche à Oreille in Bourges

Bouche à Oreille in Boutervilliers 

Needless to say the small provincial restaurant with a staff of four were 'swamped' according to the owner who was bewildered by the invasion by the hoity-toity brigade who upset his regular clientele.


I particularly liked the comment from the chef at the provincial Bouche à Oreille when asked whether she ever dreamed of earning a Michelin star, said: “No, not at all. I cook with my heart.”


This is a great lesson in the dangers of pretentiousness. It's like going to a fancy place and ordering a Croque Monsieur and paying a big price for it,

Croque-Monsieur

or, going to a simple cafe and ordering a ham and cheese toasted sandwich.

Toasted ham and cheese sandwich

Both if cooked properly are the same thing but the Croque will probably cost about 10 times more.




As I said - What a crock of shit!