FARK!

THE CURMUDGEON is about to release a book about the bizarre organisation known as Richard's Bass Bag which as you all know has gone through several transformations over the last year.
The working title of the book is FARK! which denotes the surprise, bewilderment and consternation that ensues from Richard's blogging posts and comments.

In the pursuit of fairness and responsibility in researching and writing this book THE CURMUDGEON repeatedly sought an interview with Richard in order to get his opinions and input but over several months of requests for interviews that were fielded by Richard's various cronies THE CURMUDGEONS INC.ⓒ decided to go ahead with the book anyway. The release is imminent and Richard has heard about it and has finally decided to take The Curmudgeon's call.

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Call transcript*

RICHARD: Hello, TC.

TC: Richard, how are you?

RICHARD: How are you? How are you doing? Okay?

TC: Real well. I’m turning on my tape recorder, with your permission.

RICHARD: Oh, that’s okay. That’s okay. I don’t mind that at all.

TC: I’m sorry we missed the opportunity to talk for the book.

RICHARD: Well, I just spoke with Bin (Bin Hire of Bin's Bass Bag) and he asked me if I got a call. I never got a call. I never got a message. Who did you ask about speaking to me?

TC: Well, about six people.

RICHARD: They don’t tell me.

TC: Bin, the other Richard's (2), Angry Jesus, some guy called Akish and some other strange dude. I talked several times to Bin about it.

RICHARD: [?].

TC: He met me for a drink to talk about it.

RICHARD: Well, it’s too bad. Of course, you and I had a conversation a couple of years ago, and so that I think got you there a little bit. And we had a conversation many years ago, if you remember, at Tony and Alison's place in Point Chevalier.

TC: Yeah, I do.

RICHARD: That has to be more than 10 years ago. And you were thinking about doing a book about me then, which is interesting. Who knew it would’ve been on this subject? Right? That was not in the cards at that time.

BW: That’s right. Well, I’m sorry, I . ..

RICHARD: I still remember that.

TC: I spent a lot of time on this, talked to lots of people.

RICHARD: All right. Good.

TC: And as you know it's important that we get your true story out there.

RICHARD: Right.

TC: And I would’ve liked to have interviewed you and I tried but somehow my requests didn’t get to you, or . ..

RICHARD: It’s really too bad, because nobody told me about it, and I would’ve loved to have spoken to you. You know I’m very open to you. I think you’ve always been fair. We’ll see what happens. But all I can say is the Bass Bag is doing very well. We’re doing better than ever before. We’re doing better on violin and bass practice practise practice maybe than ever. You know, I mean, if you look at the practice practise practice hours numbers, you’ve heard me say it. And we’re doing better on gig performances than just about ever. We’re having a lot of — a lot of you know - gigs and Robert has moved back into the blogging community - OK, OK, I know that's not great but at least he's trying (very trying) but .......

TC: Well, I understand that point of view. And as you know, it’s also a difficult time where the blogging community has been a bit slow with some members buggering off to other countries and ...

RICHARD: Yeah. Yeah.

TC: I take it very seriously. I’ve written a lot on the members of the blogging community and about you and your many alter egos.

RICHARD: Right.

TC: I’ve got to go talk to people and see them outside of RICHARD'S BASS BAG and gained a lot of insight and documentation. And it’s — you know, it’s a tough look at your blog and you.

RICHARD: Right. Well, I assume that means it’s going to be a negative book. But you know, I’m some — I’m sort of 50 percent used to that.  That’s all right. Some are good and some are bad. Sounds like this is going to be a bad one.

TC: It was a chance missed, and I don’t know how things work over there in terms of . ..

RICHARD: Very well. We . ..

TC: . . . getting to you.

RICHARD: Well, if you would call Bill (Different Time Zone Bill) . . . Did you speak to Bill?

TC: No, I didn’t. But I . ..

RICHARD: Bill's the key. He’s the secret. Because He’s the person . ..

TC: Well, I tried to talk to Bill but he was never there - he was gallivanting away over several time zones I guess. I tried to talk to Dave (Dave Shaw) about it. I called Terry McDougal......

RICHARD: Well, a lot of them are afraid to come and talk, or — you know, they are busy. I’m busy. But I don’t mind talking to you. I would’ve spoken to you. I spoke to you 10 years ago and I spoke to you a year and a half or two years ago, and I spoke to you 2 weeks ago and and and ..... umm...

TC: A couple of years ago, I understand.

RICHARD: And I certainly don’t mind talking to you, and I wish I could’ve spoken to you. But nobody called my office. I mean, you went through, I guess, different people. ...

TC: Well ...

RICHARD: So I have another bad book coming out. Big deal.

TC: Well ... it'll be an honest book.

RICHARD: But are you naming names? Or do you just say sources?

TC: Yeah, well, it names real incidents, so . ..

RICHARD: No, but do you name sources? I mean, are you naming the people, or just say, people have said?

TC: I say what actually happened and luckily you haven't , like Robert, deleted all of your rantings ravings posts .... or at least not for the last couple of years.

RICHARD: Bugger.

TC: Certainly, I understand and I would’ve loved to go through a discussion with you about all of the rantings ravings posts, because this goes to the heart of your sanity and control of Richard's Bass Bag...you say Bin's there, ask him.


[Bin Hire takes the phone.]

TC: Bin?

BIN HIRE: TC, how are you? Hi.

TC: Hi. Remember two and a half months ago you came over and I said I wanted to talk to Richard? And you said you would get back to me?

BIN: I do. And I put in the request. But you know, they — it was rejected. I can only take it so far. 

TC: Yeah.

BIN HIRE: But I try to follow all the protocols, or else I’m accused of being somebody who doesn’t follow protocol.

TC: Richard, I just want you to know I made every effort.

BIN HIRE: Ummmm .....

(hands phone back to Richard)

RICHARD: We’re doing a good job.

TC: Well the book will show it all as it is.

RICHARD: All right. It’s too bad.


[Call ends]


* With apologies to Bob Woodward and The Washington Post