FISHING GONE

 I watched a couple of the Paul Whitehouse and Bob Mortimer programmes on fishing recently named GONE FISHING.

I like both of these comedians having watched them on many different British TV comedy shows.

The show's origins lie in Mortimer's triple heart bypass surgery and Whitehouse, like Mortimer, had heart problems that were only detected at the last minute. Whitehouse was talking to Mortimer's wife Lisa about Bob's recovery from the operation; he discovered that Mortimer wasn't going out anymore and so Whitehouse invited him to go fishing with him. Mortimer enjoyed it; describing it later he said "I’ve never felt anything like it." "There comes a moment when you realise that you’ve said nothing for an hour and a half. I haven’t thought about anything else. I haven’t worried about the past, or future." It wasn't until a later date that Mortimer discovered it was all a "ruse to get me back into life" that Whitehouse had been conspiring with Lisa. The fishing trips worked and brought Mortimer out of his trough and then Whitehouse had the idea for the show. They thought there may be the chance to make a humorous and informative programme that was beyond "two old blokes going fishing". Whitehouse described the pitch for the show as having the real life jeopardy of their medical conditions, two old friends who've had a reprieve and the timeless wonder of the English countryside.

I live by the water in Northland and, over the 10 plus years I've been here have now and then thought about going fishing.  I don't have a passion for boats though and The Old Girl gets seasick when on one so we've never bothered even though most of our neighbours have them. They are forever hauling them in and out of the water by tractors. I like tractors though and suggested to The Old Girl that we buy one even if we didn't have a boat. The stony silence as a response suggested that this wasn't a great idea.

We have kayaks and, when the water is calm (like a millpond) will venture out and paddle around the bay. We don't fish from them though.

A couple of times I have bought fishing gear - rods, tackle boxes, hooks and lines etc. but these have stayed in the shed or under the house and never used. I recently bought two rods from the local OP Shop which cost me $8 each.

These are in the snooker room and are still unused. I'd better decide to do something with them soon before The Old Girl returns from Wellington.

At the end of our road there is a floating wharf which fishermen regularly use. There is a deep channel running past it where some pretty good fishing can be had. I've seen snapper and kingfish being caught there. It's close to home - you can see our house from the wharf so it's handy.

There are also some good fishing spots from rocks along the walking track which I could give a go.

The trouble is however, that I don't really like fishing. I find it boring. When I went trout fishing with Chris and Robert years ago I was always antsy to get away to do something more interesting.

I don't like the idea of catching and killing the fish. OK, I know, I like fish and buy it from the shops but the thought of driving a screwdriver through their brains puts me off.

In addition, I don't fancy scaling and filleting them. I 'd rather buy fillets from the supermarket.

I think I'll leave the fishing to this guy. who lives nearby.