I've spent all morning cleaning the house and other chores. The Old Girl has been away for a week and is coming home today. I've done washing, vacuumed, cleaned bathrooms and kitchen floors, cleaned windows, dusted and generally made the house tidier. It probably won't pass inspection but hey, I've made the effort. It has got me thinking though. If man's efforts at house cleaning don't measure up to women's expectations anyway, why not just do the cursory 'man-thing' any way - a quick whip around with a broom, desultory swish of the toilets and maybe move some furniture about? The answer is in the smell. Things have to smell like they have been cleaned. This cannot be accomplished by spraying some air freshener about although buying fresh flowers and putting them in vases about the house scores points. No, what is needed is a spray that gives the impression that toilets have been bleached, basins and baths have been scoured, surfaces have been wiped, wood polished and floors washed and vacuumed. Inventors?
2 comments:
Maybe we could invent a schedule.
Monday toilet clean.
Tuesday wash car and outside windows.
Wednesday dust.
Thursday wash floors.
Friday vacuum.
Saturday just relax
Sunday just relax
Comeinyourpants,
I'm ashamed of you!
Very ashamed!
In all the years I've known you, and tried to guide you, you've learnt nothing about women.
ABSOLUTELY BLOODY NOTHING.
I really feel like a failure as a teacher. Sorry.
Did you think about putting some freshly cut flowers in a vase in a prominant position?
No.
Did you check the bath for stains?
No.
Did you think to put something special in the bedroom - maybe a candle or two to welcome her back (implying that you want, no need, to fondle her a little later, after you've excitedly heard about her latest trials/adventures)?
No.
Did you think to acquire an insincere but well placed 'welcome home darling, I really missed you' card?
No.
So you sprayed perfume around. Big deal, Mr Insenstitive.
I can now longer be responsible for your sex life.
Sorry.
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